He’s our favorite imp – funny, prone to debauchery, and has an uncanny ability to overcome obstacles tossed at him with his wit and cunning.
So what’s next for Tyrion, played by the incomparable Peter Dinklage on HBO’s Game of Thrones.
As you might recall, my prediction for Tyrion’s champion’s success was less than accurate:
Here’s hoping that one of my more positive predictions will be in store for Tyrion:
10.) Tyrion lives. He’s a main character, and after all, main characters always survive, right?
9.) WRONG! This is the George RR Martinverse! This man eats main characters for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Even fan favorite Tyrion is not safe.
8.) Martin does a bait and switch – i.e. something like, Tywin has a change of heart, offers Tyrion a full pardon, and then on the way to pick up his pardon, Tyrion is unexpectedly trampled to death by a pack of runaway horses.
By the way, at this point, knowing what we know of Martin’s predilection towards unexpected main charactericide, should we stop rooting for our favorites altogether? At this point, isn’t it almost inevitable that Dany will be on the verge of conquering Westeros only to eat a piece of bad cheese and die from food poisoning out of left field?)
7.) A tie in a trial by combat means Tyrion is off the hook. No wait, the Mountain did breathe for a second or two before he, well you saw it, before he did what he did to Oberyn, so I suppose that does make him the victor.
6.) Tyrion bribes some corrupt Westerosian to free him.
5.) Jamie frees Tyrion but casts himself out of the family by going against Tywin’s wishes.
4.) Tyrion demands a second trial by combat. Advises second champion – “Stab first, ask questions later.”
3.) Tyrion pleads with the court, “Eh, come on, it was only Joffrey, right?” Jury thinks about it, then starts nodding in agreement and orders the imp to be released.
2.) The Lannisters go to family counseling.
1.) Tyrion racks up a ton of debt. Points out to Tywin he can’t be killed because Lannisters always pay their debts.