41) For years I have wanted to check out The Human Centipede just based on the curiosity factor, but I feel doing so will warp and twist my soul. Has anyone watched it and survived?
42) Sometimes when I turn on the news and hear stories about people in third world countries fighting over extremist beliefs that belong in the dark ages, I just want to be all like, “Hey, third word people, you know we have magic pieces of glass over here that show you all the movies and games you want, right?” Because, you know, you should all stop fighting and then we can sell you magic pieces of glass and then everyone will be happy and play Candy Crush. No one wants to go to war if they have Candy Crush.
43) I feel bad for pirates. So much effort to swipe all that gold only to inevitably bury it.
44) I have decided to run for the position of Official Comptroller for the Republic of Barbados. I have nothing wittier to say on the subject.
45) Why does Hollywood put crappy movies out in January and February? Why can they just, alternatively, not make crappy movies?
46) Is the Burger King a wise and just leader, or a cruel tyrant who presides over the burgers with an iron fist?
47) 12. Scientists have definitely proven that a man must walk down 12 roads before he can call himself a man. “The answer was just blowing in the wind, my friends,” remarked one scientist.
48) I don’t understand why people sky dive.
49) Knock Knock. Who’s there? Life. Answer it.
50) Does Kenny G like listening to his own music in the elevator?
Bookshelf Battle 
Watching Human Centipede is basically one of my deepest regrets in life. I’m waiting on science to perfect brain bleaching so I can forget that experience..
I feel like we’d all become abusers of a potential brain bleach process. I’m in awe this movie was made, seeing as how I crumple up and throw away so many novel ideas on the grounds of “that’s too far fetched!” yet nothing I’ve ever written has approached the level of stupidity of this film.
The fact that it has somewhat of a cult following really just blows my mind.
Maybe in a don’t want to look at the car accident as you pass by but can’t help it sort of way.
That’s roughly the mentality that caused me to watch it in the first place, so probably.
That, and I think I was fifteen or sixteen. I don’t really like to take credit for half of the crap I did at that age.
Nothing can be as bad as Moshi monsters.