Twitter is great for many things. It helps you share and communicate. It provides an endless stream of adorable cat pictures. It delivers breaking news in bite-sized nuggets, and it can satisfy your occasional need to get outraged about something a complete stranger says. I think you can guess which one this blog post is going to be about.
No, not that one.
Myke Cole, a military fantasy author, retweeted this comment and image by the magician behind Fantasy Faction, one of the biggest genre communities out there.
And I was not happy.
First of all, despite the assertion that there are exceptions to what he obviously believes is a rule, the flow of this chart is insultingly reductive. Let’s establish one thing…
Internationally known awesome person Bookshelf Q. Battler here.
I can claim to be “internationally known” because according to my WordPress stat map, this Antarctica resident is clicking the crap out of this blog:
God bless you, Mr. Tuxedo
As 3.5 of you might recall, I announced at the beginning of this year that I would be undertaking a one post a day for a year challenge.
Time flies when you’re overextending yourself because here we are, with less of this year ahead than behind, and I have yet to miss one day of posting despite repeated and insufferable Yeti attacks.
Stupid Yeti
Has it been worth it? The numbers don’t like. My WordPress, Twitter, and Google Plus Followers are all up and, if you’ll indulge me with some shameless begging, anything you could do to keep those digits on the upswing would be appreciated.
So what’s next?
None of this is set in stone, but here’s where my mind is at the moment:
1) Finish out the one post a day for a year challenge – I’ve come this far, I have to finish. One post a day until the end of the year. Then, no matter what happens next, I’ll at least be able to say I did that. It does help. The more you put yourself out there, the more interest occurs.
2) Spread the Indie Karma – If you follow @bookshelfbattle on Twitter (another plug), you may have noticed that I’ve been on a “plug indie books/authors” kick lately. That’s because I’ve been looking for indie books/authors, not to mention bloggers, that catch my eye and spreading the good will. I’m hopeful that by putting positive vibes out into the universe, the universe will eventually return that positive energy to me tenfold.
3) Keep Alien Jones Going – Heavy is the head that wears the burden of being an alien race’s chosen one. I didn’t ask for this burden, but the Mighty Potentate has spoken and designated me as the writer whose fiction can keep the spread of reality television at bay. The MP forsees that my books will draw so much interest that people will have zero interest in shows about makeovers and/or beautiful people acting like dummies (unless they do so in a fictional manner.) To that end, the MP’s emissary, Alien Jones, will keep answering your questions. All summer, he’s been on a hot streak, where a week has yet to go by without him having a question to answer. He might not answer your question in the week it is asked, but I like to bank a few ahead to keep the streak going. He’s helped 19 authors so far, and that’s so many more than I envisioned when I, as a blogger who claims to own a magic bookshelf, put it out there that I have an alien buddy taking your inquiries. So please, keep the questions coming.
4) Pop Culture Mysteries – That’s an even longer discussion. Here goes:
A Second “Spin-Off” Blog – Cheers begat Frasier. Buffy begat Angel. Bookshelf Battle begat Pop Culture Mysteries. Is it wise to divide my attention between two blogs? I’ve thought about that a lot. I don’t know for sure. If you run two or more blogs, give me some input. Part of me thinks Bookshelf Battle and Pop Culture Mysteries should stick together to keep the hit rates high on one blog. Another part is leaning toward Pop Culture Mysteries deserving its own home, a blog that with an ongoing story that will coincide with books featuring our resident Pop Culture Detective, Jake Hatcher.
Finish Writing Season One on Bookshelf Battle – I’m thinking Hatcher’s Case Files (where he investigates a Pop Culture Question and in doing so, often lets the readers in on information about his past and present lives (i.e. before and after the long nap) will be packaged into a season. Each season will end with a book that I’ll put out on Amazon, if Mr. Bezos will have me.
Where Season One is Headed – Thus far, it’s mostly been about setting up the main characters. I anticipate by the end of the season, we’ll learn that during World War II, Jake obtained, “something” that a nefarious ne’er-do-well wants, and so the first Jake Hatcher book will be about how he acquired that something (and more importantly, how Jake punched Adolf Hitler in the face to get it).
This Season Isn’t Set in Stone – What you’re reading on Bookshelf Battle is essentially Jake’s rough drafts. The stories may very well change as Jake and I exchange notes through Ms. Donnelly, and as Jake remembers more info. Once this season is in the can, the finished, polished posts will start appearing on the spin-off blog. Once this season is finished, Jake and I move to the pressing business of getting his first novel out.
5) Writer’s Waterfall – This isn’t meant as a brag, but while some people have writer’s block, I have writer’s waterfall. I have so many ideas and so many half-written novels I don’t know where to begin. Sometimes, you have to just pick something and go for it. I have other ideas I want to work on, but I have limited time, so I can only work on one idea at a time. Presently, it looks like Jake’s it. His stories are creative, fun, and best of all, they have a structure that aids story telling. Ms. Donnelly gave a brief outline of Jake’s entire life in Enter the Blonde, so the rest of the series is essentially one man remembering the details and filling in the blanks. He’s telling his life story just like you might tell yours to someone listening.
Speaking of, thanks for listening, 3.5 readers. Will I ever fulfill the Mighty Potentate’s faith in me? I don’t know, but you 3.5 have at the very least provided me with an enjoyable way to spend my free time.
Have I laid out a good course of action for the road ahead, 3.5? Provide me with your copious input, both good, bad, and indifferent.
Yup. I wasted valuable time and money to take in this movie.
OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING – though the trailer pretty much summarizes the best parts of the film:
Movieclips Trailers – Vacation
Oh Hollywood. Why must you continue to play it safe with reboots and sequels and so on?
Let me put it this way:
1) This movie doesn’t suck.
2) It only starts to suck when you start comparing it to the three original Vacation movies from the 1980’s that share this film’s name.
3) Though I can’t call it a guffaw-fest, there were a number of times where I did laugh.
The setup: Adult Rusty Griswold (Ed Helms), recognizing that his family is stuck in an unhappy rut, decides to pack up the clan and take them on a road trip to Walley World, just as his father Clark (Chevy Chase) did in the first film.
From there on, the film becomes a series of sketches, smaller vignettes that happen the family as they make various stops along the way.
Some jokes from the first movie are parodied or paid homage to (Rusty rents a Prancer, an Albanian car that far surpasses his father’s Family Truckster in suckage).
But to the movie’s credit, it pokes fun at itself, and an attempt is made to go off on its own rather than be simply a modernized carbon copy of the original.
Cameos aplenty, as I assume many of today’s actors have fond memories of laughing their butts off at a young Chevy Chase, as I do.
Chevy and Beverly D’Angelo make cameos as Grandpa Clark and Grandma Ellen. I feel like there might have been potential to do something funnier with them, but then again, had they been featured longer than they were, it’d of been a different movie altogether.
For fans of Community, it might be hard to not look at Chevy these days and think “Pierce Hawthorne.” Meanwhile, Beverly has definitely made some kind of supernatural anti-aging deal.
My favorite bit was the younger brother bullies the older brother routine. Every once in awhile, I’ll see that somewhere. It’s usually the older kid, who’s bigger, bullies the younger kid, but every so often you’ll see an older kid who’s polite and doesn’t want to hurt his miserable pipsqueak of a younger brother, even though he could totally knock him into next week for being a little jerk if he wanted to. That dynamic makes for some fun here.
As if there wasn’t enough in this film to make me feel old, Christina Applegate, who once played the uber hot Kelly Bundy in her youth (and who I oggled extensively in mine), now plays the uptight Mom trying to prove to everyone she’s still as fun as she used to be.
Oh time, please slow down.
Should you rush out to see it? Nah. Is it worth a rental when you have nothing better to do? Sure.
STATUS: Not shelf-worthy.
BUT – if you’re one of those younger people born with a cell phone in hand, you should check out:
Vacation
European Vacation
Christmas Vacation (I don’t know about you but I have to watch this at least once during the holiday season)
Bookshelf Battle 