Tag Archives: one post a day challenge

Happy New Year, 3.5 Readers

Hey 3.5 Readers.

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Bookshelf Q. Battler

Well, that was 2015. A whole year’s worth of blogging. As Alien Jones broke it down for us, blogging once a day and being active on social media does make a difference.

I’m at a critical mass point where I have to shift my focus from daily blogging to book production.  One of the hardest lessons I had to learn this year was there just isn’t time to do everything. I have to pick and choose between my story ideas and stick with my decisions, seeing them through to the end before starting something new.

I do love daily blogging, but I think the only way this whole nerdy enterprise remains sustainable is to get some books out there.

And sadly, that means I can’t blog everyday, which after doing it everyday for a year, is going to feel weird.

But don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll still check in, just not as often and ultimately, I have to write less in order to write better, if that makes any sense.

In the meantime, I have over a thousand posts on here. Read them. Check them out. Consult with Alien Jones and the other interesting people who stop by.

Thank you for your support, 3.5 Readers.

Sincerely,

Bookshelf Q. Battler

World Renowned Poindexter, Reviewer of Pop Cultural Happenings and Champion Yeti Fighter

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Sick Nerd

Boo!

Bookshelf Q. Battler here, 3.5 readers.

Got sick on Christmas, spent the day in bed. A little bit better today, but still woozy, unsure if I’ll get up or stay in bed awhile longer.

I blame the Yeti for this malfeasance. He probably poisoned me in an attempt to make me fail on the final stretch of the one post a day for a year challenge.

Damn it, Yeti.  Why are you the cause of all my problems?

Actually, I do have a complaint though. I got sick on Labor Day and then again on Christmas. Its like if I ever get a day off the Yeti conspires to make me not enjoy it.

 

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What up, nerds?

Yeah.  I got nothing today.  I hate the Yeti.  The one post a day for a year challenge continues to go strong!

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Hello Geekdexters

Afraid this is going to be one of those days when I don’t have much to say other than I like waffles.

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I Am One Sick Nerd

Boo.  I’ve come down with the flu on my day off from Beige Corp, the world’s premiere producer of beige products and accessories.

What horrible timing.

Oh well.  At least I was able to catch up on my movie watching.  I finally checked out The Kingsman.  Thoroughly enjoyed it.  Something fun and different.

Happy Labor Day nerds.

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State of the Bookshelf: The Home Stretch of the One Post a Day Challenge

Hello 3.5 readers,

Internationally known awesome person Bookshelf Q. Battler here.

I can claim to be “internationally known” because according to my WordPress stat map, this Antarctica resident is clicking the crap out of this blog:

God bless you, Mr. Tuxedo

God bless you, Mr. Tuxedo

As 3.5 of you might recall, I announced at the beginning of this year that I would be undertaking a one post a day for a year challenge.

Time flies when you’re overextending yourself because here we are, with less of this year ahead than behind, and I have yet to miss one day of posting despite repeated and insufferable Yeti attacks.

Stupid Yeti

Stupid Yeti

Has it been worth it?  The numbers don’t like.  My WordPress, Twitter, and Google Plus Followers are all up and, if you’ll indulge me with some shameless begging, anything you could do to keep those digits on the upswing would be appreciated.

So what’s next?

None of this is set in stone, but here’s where my mind is at the moment:

1)  Finish out the one post a day for a year challenge – I’ve come this far, I have to finish.  One post a day until the end of the year.  Then, no matter what happens next, I’ll at least be able to say I did that.  It does help.  The more you put yourself out there, the more interest occurs.

2)  Spread the Indie Karma – If you follow @bookshelfbattle on Twitter (another plug), you may have noticed that I’ve been on a “plug indie books/authors” kick lately.  That’s because I’ve been looking for indie books/authors, not to mention bloggers, that catch my eye and spreading the good will.  I’m hopeful that by putting positive vibes out into the universe, the universe will eventually return that positive energy to me tenfold.

3)  Keep Alien Jones Going – Heavy is the head that wears the burden of being an alien race’s chosen one.  I didn’t ask for this burden, but the Mighty Potentate has spoken and designated me as the writer whose fiction can keep the spread of reality television at bay.  The MP forsees that my books will draw so much interest that people will have zero interest in shows about makeovers and/or beautiful people acting like dummies (unless they do so in a fictional manner.)  To that end, the MP’s emissary, Alien Jones, will keep answering your questions.  All summer, he’s been on a hot streak, where a week has yet to go by without him having a question to answer.  He might not answer your question in the week it is asked, but I like to bank a few ahead to keep the streak going.  He’s helped 19 authors so far, and that’s so many more than I envisioned when I, as a blogger who claims to own a magic bookshelf, put it out there that I have an alien buddy taking your inquiries.  So please, keep the questions coming.

4)  Pop Culture Mysteries – That’s an even longer discussion.  Here goes:

  • A Second “Spin-Off” Blog –   Cheers begat Frasier.  Buffy begat Angel.  Bookshelf Battle begat Pop Culture Mysteries.  Is it wise to divide my attention between two blogs?  I’ve thought about that a lot.  I don’t know for sure.  If you run two or more blogs, give me some input.  Part of me thinks Bookshelf Battle and Pop Culture Mysteries should stick together to keep the hit rates high on one blog.  Another part is leaning toward Pop Culture Mysteries deserving its own home, a blog that with an ongoing story that will coincide with books featuring our resident Pop Culture Detective, Jake Hatcher.
  • Finish Writing Season One on Bookshelf Battle – I’m thinking Hatcher’s Case Files (where he investigates a Pop Culture Question and in doing so, often lets the readers in on information about his past and present lives (i.e. before and after the long nap) will be packaged into a season.  Each season will end with a book that I’ll put out on Amazon, if Mr. Bezos will have me.
  • Where Season One is Headed – Thus far, it’s mostly been about setting up the main characters.  I anticipate by the end of the season, we’ll learn that during World War II, Jake obtained, “something” that a nefarious ne’er-do-well wants, and so the first Jake Hatcher book will be about how he acquired that something (and more importantly, how Jake punched Adolf Hitler in the face to get it).
  • This Season Isn’t Set in Stone – What you’re reading on Bookshelf Battle is essentially Jake’s rough drafts.  The stories may very well change as Jake and I exchange notes through Ms. Donnelly, and as Jake remembers more info.  Once this season is in the can, the finished, polished posts will start appearing on the spin-off blog.  Once this season is finished, Jake and I move to the pressing business of getting his first novel out.

5)  Writer’s Waterfall – This isn’t meant as a brag, but while some people have writer’s block, I have writer’s waterfall.  I have so many ideas and so many half-written novels I don’t know where to begin.  Sometimes, you have to just pick something and go for it.  I have other ideas I want to work on, but I have limited time, so I can only work on one idea at a time.  Presently, it looks like Jake’s it.  His stories are creative, fun, and best of all, they have a structure that aids story telling.  Ms. Donnelly gave a brief outline of Jake’s entire life in Enter the Blonde, so the rest of the series is essentially one man remembering the details and filling in the blanks.  He’s telling his life story just like you might tell yours to someone listening.

Speaking of, thanks for listening, 3.5 readers.  Will I ever fulfill the Mighty Potentate’s faith in me?  I don’t know, but you 3.5 have at the very least provided me with an enjoyable way to spend my free time.

Have I laid out a good course of action for the road ahead, 3.5?  Provide me with your copious input, both good, bad, and indifferent.

Sincerely,

Bookshelf Q. Battler

Blogger-in-Chief

Bookshelf Battle Blog

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A Very Important Yeti Related Press Conference

BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER:  All right then.  Settle down now.  I know you’ve all come to hear the exciting JORNALnews, but there’s no need to act like a bunch of uncouth barbarians, is there?

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of the press.

In early March, due to a pathetic performance of his duties, Bookshelf Q. Battle Dog, Head of Bookshelf Battle Headquarters Security, failed miserably in his mission to secure the premises and allowed my arch enemy, The Yeti, to enter.

Upon spying the intruder, I did what any civilized gentleman would do.  I challenged him to a best two out of three roundhouse kick to the face competition.  Whoever landed two direct kicks to the opponent’s face first would be allowed to stay.

The Yeti, who is more intelligent than his poor grooming habits would have you think, made use of a loophole by kicking me in the face with both feet at the same time.  Amazingly, he still managed to do it roundhouse style.  Two feet on my face in one turn allowed him to remain in my compound and take me as a hostage and my abode as his own.

The Yeti, as you may recall, believes that all should leave a bland, boring life – one free of excitement and intrigue.  I, on the other hand, with my witty stories and fabulous posts, spread joy to the hearts of my 3.5 readers everyday.

Don’t believe me?  Just read this review of my blog written by a total stranger I have absolutely never met before:

The Bookshelf Battle Blog doesn’t completely suck.

Sincerely,

Not Bookshelf Q. Battler’s Aunt Gertie

Thank you Stranger Who is Not Aunt Gertie.

Shortly after determining that The Yeti was, in fact, a Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater, I challenged him with another bet.  I wagered that I could get 4,000 followers on twitter.  If I got them, he had to leave.  We never negotiated what he’d get if I failed because, you know, he’s a stupid yeti.

The Yeti, confident that I could never acquire such a cornucopia of followers, took that action.  Today, I am proud to say I have 4000 followers.  4008 the last time I checked.

The Yeti has now been defeated, my honor restored, and Bookshelf Battle HQ is once again secure.

I will now take your questions.

REPORTER #1 – BQB, Joe Fakenamer for Who Cares Digest here.

BQB:  A fine publication.

REPORTER #1 – Now that you have proven that you are, in fact, better in every way than The Yeti, will you cast him out of Bookshelf Battle HQ as promised?

BQB:  No.

GASPS ALL AROUND

BQB:  Joe, we as writers need to be professional and courteous to everyone, even our worst critics.  The Yeti, who once lived in Siberia and shared a tent with three hundred other Yetis, has become used to American culture.  Frankly, he’s a pampered Yeti know and I can’t just send him out on his own.  I will allow him to stay at BQB HQ indefinitely.

REPORTER 2 – Emily Hotchkiss of Woogy Waggy Times here.  What would you say to critics who claim you’re a two-bit hack who just uses “The Yeti” as a prop for when you’ve run out of things to say in during your ill-advised one post a day challenge.

BQB:  I’d say they’re not inaccurate.

REPORTER #2 – Huh?

BQB:  What?

So there you have it folks.  The Yeti will now live in the basement and I will begin the long process of having a team of 1000 hair removal experts remove all of the hair from the remainder of the compound.

Continue to tune in as hi jinx are likely to ensue when two mortal enemies live under the same roof.

Newspaper graphic courtesy of Vasco Soares on openclipart.org

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For those just joining us…

…I’m in my fourth month of a one post a day for 2015 challenge.  It has been both tiring and rewarding.

I’m mainly saying this because I can’t think of what else to say.

What about you?  Do you have anything interesting to say?

Please share.

Have a nice day.

OH BTW – Follow me on twitter, or on Google Plus, or Wattpad, or Tumblr, or hell, just throw me a smoke signal.

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I Quit

I, Bookshelf Q. Battler, Proprietor of a Book Blog That Has Only Reviewed 4 Books in a Year, Ninja Karate Master of the Drunk Monkey and Regal Swan Attack Patterns, Former King of Madagascar for Three Days (It’s a Long Story, Don’t Ask), Stealth Fighter Test Pilot, Indy Race Car Driver and All Around Bad Ass to End All Bad Asses…

Do hereby officially declare that I quit the one post a day challenge.  It was a stupid idea and has left me open to a daily barrage of Highlander attacks, zombie sighting and or potential bitings, Narwhals (Did you know there are living, breathing unicorn whales?  Look that shit up, son!), and Yeti roundhouse kickings.

Worse, various ne’er-do-wells who will stop at nothing, NOTHING I SAY to prevent me from spreading my awesomeness to the world have literally, every hour on the hour, locked me in a safe and tossed me into the ocean from a helicopter, leaving me no choice but to make a Houdini style break for it no less than 24 times a day.  I don’t want to be a whiner, but that is some tiresome nonsense right there.

I’ve been transported to the Planet of the Apes, shout out of a catapult, sent back in time, sent forward in time just to wait long enough for the technology to travel back in time to be created, and I have been assaulted by so many Cthululus (Cthululi) that I have grown immune to their hideous squiddy faces.

Seriously, this is what I wake up to every morning:

BQB:  Uggghh.  It’s morning.  I’m Bookshelf Q. Battler.  I’m tired as crap.  I better get get some pants out of the closet and….

CTHULU:  OOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!  STOP BLOGGING!  OOGA!

BQB:  ARGH!  A CTHULU!   :::CTHULU PUNCH!:::

Seriously, Forces of Evil Who Demand I Stop Spreading Literacy, Fun, and Good Times to the Masses.  You’ve really outdone yourselves.  Goblins in my sock drawer.  Socks in my goblin drawer.  Gremlins who wait until I fall asleep and then proceed to sing “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina!” at the top of their creepy little lungs.  I haven’t slept since Dec. 31, 2014.  Damn you, show tune singing gremlins!

This is no way for the man who trained Chuck Norris, Steven Segal, and Jean Claude Van-Damme to be treated.  I am a blogger with skills that have allowed me to amass 3.5 readers.  I should not have to Vulcan neck pinch a werewolf every time I want to get a donut from my kitchen.  Honest to God, 16 Werewolf neck pinches a day are too much.

But do you want to know the real coup de grace?  The real straw that broke the camel’s back?  The real bee in my bonnet?  The real unidentified substance in my cornflakes?

This evening, around 6:48 pm, I went to the fridge to fetch my strawberry granola cinnamon yogurt parfait only to discover that the YETI ATE MY STRAWBERRY GRANOLA CINNAMON YOGURT PARFAIT!

OFFICIAL REENACTMENT

BQB:  Yeti?  Did you eat my strawberry granola cinnamon yogurt parfait!

YETI:  YES!  AND IT WAS DELICIOUS!

BQB:  YETI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Picture Kirk screaming “KHAN!” at the top of his lungs, but with the sonic aftershocks of armageddon thunder from the bowels of Hell.  That is how loud I screamed “YETI!” when I discovered that my perpetual captor turned loser houseguest, the Yeti, ate my strawberry granola cinnamon yogurt parfait.

If you were clear across the world, in say, China and you heard the word “YETI!” being yelled, that was me.

BQB’s 3 RULES OF LIFE

1.  Never steal another man’s woman.

2.  Never challenge a Yeti to a best 2 out of 3 roundhouse kick competition.

3.  Never touch another man’s strawberry granola cinnamon yogurt parfait.  I don’t know why I need to explain that shit to people when it it literally written in the bible on page 7.  Go check your bible.  I’ll wait.

So guess what, Evil?  I quit.  I give up.  I’m calling it kaput.  You can cease and desist your plans to drop man eating piranhas (piranha?) in my underpants drawer, as if I’m too incompetent to not notice man eating piranhas in my underpants more than 3 times in my life.  Seriously, give me some credit.

Stop sending wave after wave of assassins after me.  Sure, the fight is exhilarating but when I defeat them with my pinky finger while cooking my breakfast waffle with my free hand, I end up feeling guilty and sad for the assassins.  I’m just too nice for my own good.

Also, that asteroid you sent to destroy Earth just so you could take me out?  Yes, I did stop it and send it back into space by staring at it in a stern, disapproving manner.  What’s that Earth?  You didn’t hear anything about Earth being destroyed by a damn asteroid?

Uh…yeah.  You’re welcome

I’m out of the game, off the clock, out to lunch, and off in left field.  I turn in my blogging papers and give up.  I will blog no more.  So please stop all the madness, Forces of Evil.  You win.  The one post a day challenge is over.  The world will no longer experience a daily dose of my awesomeness, and you evil creatures get what you want.

Good for you.  I hope you’re happy.

3.5 readers (2.5 excluding Aunt Gertie), I thank you for taking this ride with me.  I pray you are not disappointed in my decision to quit, but I tell you, there are only so many damn Yetis, sasquatches, assassins, Cthulus, narwhals, bears, and Broadway musical performing gremlins that I can stand.

Lesser men than I would have quit long ago.  That I have withstood 3 months of this garbage proves my rugged machismo to the masses.

Speaking of, now that this insane challenge is done, I can now give in to the thrice an hour calls from Katee Sackhoff and Katy Perry, who demand I quit blogging, not because they want to rob the world of my awesomeness, but rather, to have it all to themselves.

I look forward to many days of helping Katee with two ee’s (Katy 1) find new and adventurous sci-fi babes to play.  I also can’t wait to write some songs for Katy with a y (Katy 2).

Here’s a littly diddy I cooked up based on her past songs:

La dee la de la…I like to dance.

La de la de la…I like romance.

Dum dee do dee da…candy and smiles.

Dum dee dum dee dum…sing for awhile.

DROPS MIC.  IM OUTTIE 5000, SUCKA MC’S!  PEACE!  YA HEARD?

BQB LEGAL DISCLAIMER:  BQB HAS NEVER BEEN CALLED OR CONTACTED BY EITHER KATEE OR KATY.  IN FACT, WE HERE AT THE BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER LEGAL DEPARTMENT ARE FAIRLY CERTAIN SAID LADIES WOULD FIND BQB TO BE A HIDEOUS MUTANT.  GOOD DAY, AND GOD BLESS AMERICA.

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