Bookshelf Battle

A preview of an act coming to the East Randomtown Chuckle Hut in October…

Schecky Blargfeld, Zombie Comedian

ANNOUNCER:

Hey there, Ladies, Germs and anyone who hasn’t either been ripped to shreds or turned into a ghastly brain sucking monster, put whatever body parts you have left together and give a room temperature welcome to Schecky Blargfeld, Zombie Comedian!

SCHECKY:

Oh stop, stop!  You’re far too kind!

No seriously, sir.  Stop.  You need to keep your hand on your spleen.  That’s it.  You got it.

I just shuffled in from LA and boy are my arms tired from being held out directly in front of me as I trudged all the way here in a slow yet methodic manner.

East Randomtown.  Wow.  Talk about the sticks.  Last time I was in a place this small it was my casket!  Whoa!

Is this thing on?  No, I’m asking.  Is this thing on?  Because it looks a little loose and…aw crap.  It fell off.  Oh well.  Who needs it?

Ladies!  Where are all my beautiful ladies tonight?  Fellas, women be shopping, am I right?  Even in a zombie apocalypse, they’re all like, “Does this gas mask match this machete?”  Ladies, please, stop torturing yourselves about your looks.  Real men want your brains.  Your sweet, delicious, yummy brains.

Lot of stuff going on in the news lately.  Apple released a new iPhone last year, changed it a little bit, and now they’ve got a slightly better version for sale this year.  And yet, somehow I’M the vicious monster.  Oh no he did-ent!  Yes he did!

Say folks, I see I’m about to get the bum’s rush here.  Seriously, a bunch of bums just broke in and are about to hack me to pieces.

I just want to say I look forward to being a part of the #31ZombieAuthors deal that Bookshelf Q. Battler’s got going on this blog.  Did somebody say 3.5 readers?  Jeez Louise, I’ve seen backs of cereal boxes with larger fan bases.

This October, the shit is really going to hit the fan in East Randomtown.  BQB’s going to bring you daily excerpts from his Zombie Apocalypse Survivor’s Journal, as well as daily interviews with renowned authors of zombie fiction.

BQB’s a top notch interviewer, let me tell you, because he’s going to pick the brains of these fine horror scribes and find out what makes them tick.  Personally, that’s not something I’d ever do because I don’t play with my food.

What about me?  Every Sunday, I’ll bring you weekly wrap-ups right here from the Chuckle Hut, East Randomtown’s Number One (and only) Stand-Up Comedy Lounge.

So mark your calendars, tell your friends, get ready to laugh, and don’t forget to tip your waitresses.  No seriously, use a spear tip because they’ve all been turned into horrible, flesh hungry zombies.

Thanks a lot.  I’ve been Schecky Blargfeld.  Stay fabulous and better yet, stay delicious.