Bookshelf Battle

THE YETI

                           Stupid Yeti

An international fuzzy war criminal, the beast known simply as “The Yeti” believes the entire world should be as boring and brutal as his home, the frozen wasteland of Siberia.  Earlier this year, the Yeti traveled to East Randomtown, subdued Bookshelf Q. Battledog, infiltrated BQB HQ, and held Bookshelf Q. Battler hostage for over a month.

Eventually gaining the upper hand, BQB was able to subdue the Yeti by landing a roundhouse kick to the monster’s furry face.

The Yeti is currently housed in a frozen prison deep beneath BQB HQ, allowed out only on Thursday evenings for Scandal night because to not allow him to participate would be mean.

DR. HUGO VON SCIENCE

Dr. Hugo Von Science is a distinguished Professor of Science at the Advanced Science Institute of Science University, not to mention BQB’s former mentor while our resident nerd was a student at this fine institution.

Considered “the most trusted name in science,” Dr. Hugo has patented over a bazillion inventions, including teflon pants, the incredible exploding chinchilla, and the two-jump pogo stick, capable of delivering the user anywhere in the world through only two jumps.

He comes across as kind and brilliant, an ambassador for the scientific community to the world of laymen.  However, as seen is his column, “You Can’t Argue With Science,” he occasionally drops hints that he might be mulling over various plots to conquer the world.

BLANDIE SETTLER

She doesn’t really qualify as a villain, but it’s hard to know where else to put her in a guide to the Bookshelf Battleverse.  Ms. Settler yelled at BQB morning, noon, and night, belittling his writing career and the size of his…ego.   She literally had this expression on her face at all times during the relationship.

In fact, this is a copy of a photo BQB kept hanging on his wall to reminisce about his ex until he met VGRF.