FIND THIS ZOMBIE AUTHOR ON:
Today’s guest is S.G. Lee, author of the Journal of the Undead series and proprietor of sgleehorror.blogspot.com, where he spins yarns of zombitabulous mayhem free of charge, assuming you don’t include the hours of sleep you’ll lose thinking about the twisted horror scenarios he’s concocted.
A self-described Philly sports fan, he claims an ability to bleed all of Philadelphia’s sports team colors, much to the shock of his local medical community.
S.G. welcome. Personally, I think the East Randomtown Mascots would trounce the Phillies any day of the week, but alas we must discuss more serious business.
NOTE: BOLD=BQB; ITALICS=S.G.
Q. I’ve just learned that my mentor, the illustrious Dr. Hugo Von Science, caused the East Randomtown Zombie Apocalypse on purpose as part of a villainous scheme. For me, this begs a question I must ask you:
Who’s more dangerous in a zombie outbreak? The monsters that want to eat us or the humans who take advantage of the chaos to get what they want?
A. Without a doubt, the human race is far more dangerous. With the ability to think rationally and problem-solve, mankind is the most vicious animal on the planet.
First, there will be the sinister types … the ones who create the outbreak and/or those who profit from it. Then there are the people in desperation; they paid no attention to preparedness protocols for any type of disaster. They didn’t even make sure they had spare bottles of water, a first aid kit, or flashlights if the power goes out so how are they going to handle the zombie apocalypse?
Desperation brings out the basest of animal instincts in people. They’ll kill over a half-empty bottle of water if thirsty enough. Let’s not forget, even in good times, there are people whose only pleasure is derived from harming others. They’ll knock someone down just to watch a zombie tear ‘em to shreds.
That’s not to say all of humanity is monstrous, there are always going to be good people out there too. Just be sure to watch out because it will be harder to tell in the direst of times.
Q. Why is the public so obsessed with zombies these days?
A. I know I’ve said this before but I truly believe the reason zombies are so popular is because, at their core, zombies represent hopelessness. Tragically, most people look at the world around them and feel little or no hope. They’re disappointed in so many things: their government, their spouse/significant other, their dysfunctional families, their finances, an ever-growing abundance of bills. The list goes on and on but none of that is as awful as being torn to shreds by a cannibalistic eating machine that used to be your neighbor or mailman. In a strange way, zombie books and movies give us hope. If a group of ragtag strangers can survive a cataclysmic outbreak in the zombie apocalypse, maybe … just maybe, you can too. Or, at the very least, you can survive holidays with the in-laws.
Q, In Journal of the Undead: Littleville Uprising, Evan Stone’s godfather is Dr. G.E. Mitchell, author of Journal of the Undead: A Survivor’s Guide. Are there any tips in that survivor’s guide you could pull out that would help my merry band of survivors and I?
A. Absolutely! Dr. Mitchell, a.k.a. Doc, will be working with me to release his survivor’s guide soon but, until then, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if I share a few tips.
First, preparation is key. Have a bug-out bag (BOB) packed nearby and ready at a moment’s notice. You never know when the flesh-eaters might break through your perimeter. There won’t be time to pack when that happens so be prepared. He recommends having more than one bag since you’ll have different seasonal needs.
BQB EDITORIAL NOTE: See this interview with Sarah Lyons Fleming for more on how to pack a zombie apocalypse ready bug out bag. Back to you, S.G.
Second, don’t give those monsters anything to grab onto so, avoid baggy clothes and long, flowing hair. In Littleville, one of the students was, as Emma so delicately put it, “hauled in like a marlin” by the girl’s long hair. So, cut it or keep it in a tight braid but make sure your hair can’t be used against you.
Another tried and true tip is to have more than one type of weapon, preferably a multi-tasking tool in addition to a gun. The sound of gunfire attracts enemies so a non-firing weapon is essential when you need to stay undercover. Besides, guns require ammo and that might be in short supply.
Finally, this one is helpful no matter what type emergency arises, be sure to have back-ups of both prescription and over-the-counter medications on hand. The last thing you want is to keel over because you didn’t pack your medications!
Q. In a note in Littleville Uprising, you state that zombies vary in their abilities from story to story, and that yours “shuffle along, always searching for a bite of warm and juicy living flesh.” Why did you choose to make your zombies shuffle and do you have any advice to defeat the East Randomtown zombies, who, as my luck would have it, all run like they trained with Jackie Joyner-Kersee?
A. The reason my Journal of the Undead zombies are the slow shufflers is two-fold. One, this series was written for my sweetie, an old-school horror purist. In my beloved’s world, it would be sacrilege to call those sprinters, “zombies.” Secondly, we are both of the opinion that the fast moving, super-human cannibals are “infected” as opposed to zombies. So, in our house zombies shamble and vampires are not sparkly love interests.
BQB EDITORIAL NOTE: Kind of fun to picture the Lees sitting around the dinner table, being all alike, “this is a slow shambling zombie house and it always will be, damn it!”
Q. Can you confirm reports that your desire to write about zombies was “spawned by intense road rage?” I read something on your Amazon Author page that led me to think that might be a possibility.
A. Well, I am not at liberty to confirm or deny these claims outright but I will say this … you can take the driver out of Philly but you cannot take Philly out of the driver. We are always in a hurry so slow drivers make me want to take a tire iron and—Ahem, it appears my attorney has advised me to invoke the fifth amendment and shut up before I incriminate myself.
Q. Thanks for taking the time to answer my questions, S.G. Before I go, do you have any other advice that could help my friends and I survive the East Randomtown Zombie Apocalypse?
A. I know this is expression was made popular in a movie but don’t forget the most important rule in dealing with the undead: always, always, double-tap! It goes without saying that you need to make sure those flesh-eaters stay dead this time.
As we touched on earlier, don’t trust the living either. Desperate times call for desperate measures.. Don’t believe someone if they say they haven’t been bitten. Check it with your own eyes.
Most importantly, don’t let the infection spread. Keep it contained, perhaps in the East Randomtown Mascots’ locker room. *sigh* I have been advised by my attorney to publicly apologize for my insensitivity to the East Randomtown Mascots and their fans.
Additionally, the plight of those injured or killed in the East Randomtown Zombie Apocalypse is a tragedy. It should not be taken lightly. It was not my intention to offend the good people of East Randomtown or their sports teams. As a gesture of goodwill, I am headed to East Randomtown now to assist in the containment and clean up from this catastrophic event. Perhaps I can convince some of the Phillies to come with me. They’re already armed, after all.
BQB EDITORIAL NOTE: Thanks, S.G.! We need all the help we can get!
Also, the action figure above was developed by Mark Neto of Markneto’s Mightiest Mego Super Customs. Get your own custom action figure today. You know you want one.