Tag Archives: amazon

GET A FREE BOOK FOR FREE (BECAUSE IT IS FREE)

Paying money for stuff = BOO!

Getting free stuff = hooray!

Get your own FREE copy of my first novel, Shop Buddy, 3.5 readers. It’s totally free, which means you don’t have to pay for it.

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FREE BOOK!

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

You know what’s expensive? Gas.

You know what’s free? My book.

Buy my book. Entertain yourself. Use that money you saved to buy 2.99 worth of gas and take a nice drive to, I don’t know, the end of the street?

Anyway, here it is, my first novel, totally FREE:

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FREE BOOK!

Get your free copy today:

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Movie Review – The Tender Bar (2022)

Grab your pens, 3.5 readers. It’s time for a review of a movie based on a writer’s memoir.

I have to say this up front. I generally hate most stuff on Amazon Prime with a passion. More to the point, I have becoming increasingly disgusted by most streaming media TV shows in recent years. At first, platforms like Netflix were challenging the status quo, picking up ideas that didn’t quite fit the formulaic box of network TV and making bank on it but now I feel like a new quasi-network system of standards is being adopted by the streaming services, one where every show is designed by committee so as to not offend and in so doing, it just becomes toothless drek. Amazon, IMO, is the worst offender.

But I digress.

This movie is actually quite good. It’s a coming-of-age tale and generally I despise those too, but this one was different. I know they all say they are different but this one is.

JR (Tye Sheridan) grows up money poor but family rich in the loving but dilapidated home of his grandfather (Christopher Lloyd) with his mother (Lilly Rabe) and full-time bartender/part-time philosopher Uncle Charlie (Ben Affleck.) The missing piece of the puzzle is JR’s biological father, “The Voice” (Max Martini) a smooth-talking radio DJ who ran out on his mother years ago, leaving young JR to sit by the radio and listen to the only connection he has to his wayward patriarch.

Disappointed with herself for choosing a tryst with a bum over her college education (she had to drop out when JR was conceived), Mom vows she won’t let her son make the same mistake, pushing him to get good grades at school and urging him to do what it takes to get into Yale, which he does, almost through his mother’s sheer willpower.

Alas, when he hits the Ivy League, JR finds himself as the proverbial fish out of water. He isn’t a blue blood. He doesn’t come from money. He doesn’t have all the class, sophistication and connections that his classmates have and struggles to fit in.

Thankfully, Uncle Charlie, as a barkeep, has been a people watcher his entire life and gives his nephew an education he can’t find in any school, that being street smarts, how to carry himself, hold his head up high, not let others bring him down and so on.

Ultimately, whether in his childhood or young adulthood, JR finds his uncle’s bar to provide a source of stability and kinship in a very unlikely place. Various down on their luck drunks regale the lad with life lessons, things they wish they had and hadn’t done, more lessons for a kid high on book smarts but low on actual experience. Uncle Charlie and his band of bar bums become a sort of collective father, more so than his actual dad ever was.

And therein lies the crux of the film. Most people run off to NYC or LA or somewhere else in search of fame and fortune because they have nothing to lose. While JR feels the call to run to Manhattan to pursue his dream of becoming a writer, he is torn as he knows he has all the support and love he’ll ever need…right there in The Tender Bar.

Will he leave his loved ones behind and pursue his goal of becoming a famous writer? Will he stick by his family and stay in Long Island, too attached to his loved ones that the thought of leaving them behind pains them? Find out in…sigh, yes, this Oscar caliber film from :::shudder::: Amazon.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy. Sidenote this is a great performance from Affleck. Ben has definitely made a living on his good looks and it can’t be easy for him to get older. There are a few moments in this film where we see him accept the aging process gracefully and even one where, well, I won’t give it away but there’s an encounter with the Voice where Ben does not get the upper hand.

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FREE BOOK!

This book is FREE the next couple days, so grab your FREE copy:

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Merry Christmas, 3.5 Readers

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal, BQB here.

Tis the season for looking back and reflecting and with my overall goal of becoming a super awesome big time fancy writer, I have to take stock of how far I advanced toward that goal.

This year, I published three books:

In January, I put out “The Second Death” about a fame seeking weirdo who seeks long lasting infamy, the kind that survives long after his demise.

In February, I published a collection of six short stories – “BQB’s Twisted Shorts: The Complete First Volume.” Werewolves, superheroes, sabotaged skydivers, wacky conspiracy theorists and more.

And finally, in March I published “The Phone Did It.” This one popped into my head at random and I felt it was inspired. It’s about a salesman with an unusual product, an automated cell phone that knows you so well, it just does whatever you would have done anyway. Ahh, but what if said salesman has demented thoughts that he would have never acted on without a soul-less mobile device willing to do the dirty deeds for him?

Funny, I published three books in the first three months of the year. I hoped I would keep it up and publish one book a month but unfortunately I stalled out by April. The key seems to be to publish very short books, approximately 100 pages or so. The longer the book, the longer it takes to publish. Even so, 3 books in a year is pretty good and here’s hoping I can add to my BQB Amazon catalog in 2022.

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I’m Number 1! I’m Number 1!

Hey 3.5 readers.

Just a fun note. Thanks to a Freebooksy feature, my short story, Freefall is as of this post:

1 in 90-Minute Literature & Fiction Short Reads

1 in 90-Minute Mystery, Thriller & Suspense Short Reads

2 in Single Authors Short Stories

Sorry, I didn’t know it would make the text that big when I cut and pasted it. Also, it is number 91 Free in the kindle store, which if my memory serves, I believe that is the first time I ever cracked the top 100 free.

In total, I was able to give away 1,055 free copies in one day of this fine book about a man who guys skydiving only to discover his primary and backup ripcords have been sabotaged.

As a bonus, 6 copies of my other books were sold. The proceeds were big enough that I can supersize my next taco. I know, sometimes it is frustrating…you give away 1,000 books and only sell 6…but I’ve noticed that when you do a promo like this, the reviews and ratings tend to trickle in over the next few months, which I assume means people grab up a free copy, then let it sit on their virtual shelf until they get around to reading it. At any rate, at least 1,000 copies are out there.

BTW, as some free self publishing advice, it really is all about the cover. I have done 2 freebooksy features for most of my books (a few I have only done 1). For all, I noticed a good return the first time, and a declining return the next time, which I assume a lot of people who use freebooksy grabbed it before and weren’t as interested the second time around (though the returns were still enough to make it worth buying a second feature.)

But this second go around for Freefall, the returns were still high, which tells me people see this poor schmuck holding his cut ripcord and want to find out what happens. Do you want to find out what happens? Grab your free copy!

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GET A FREE BOOK!

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal BQB here, reminding you, yes you, that you can get my book, “FREEFALL” for FREE because it is free all this weekend, which means you don’t have to pay for it.

PAYING FOR STUFF = BOO!

NOT PAYING FOR STUFF = HOORAY!

Get your free copy posthaste:

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GET A FREE BOOK!

FREE STUFF!

Sing it with me, 3.5 readers. Ohhhhhh…FREE stuff is good. FREE stuff is great! FREE stuff is the best! FREE stuff is better than all the rest!

Why is FREE stuff awesome? Because it’s FREE. Why, 11 out of 7 scientists at the Advanced Institute For Bogus Statistics agree that the reason why FREE stuff is good is because you don’t have to pay for it. That means that you get something while not having to part with your money.

You earned that money, possibly by doing one of the following:

#1 – Winning the lottery

#2 – Fighting a duel with river pirates for it using your ninja skills

#3 – You were walking through the forest one day and came across a dead man holding a stack of bills. You looked around, saw no one watching, then just took it because hey, it’s not like he needed it anymore. Then again, maybe he had a family with bills to pay, you insensitive son of a…

#4 – You inherited from your long estranged, Great Great Great Great Great Uncle Tiberius, who left a provision in his last will and testament that you will get a lot of moolah if you survive one night in a haunted house. You laugh, but many a 1960s horror film started in exactly this manner. For some reason, many of the 1960s elderly wanted their younger kin to spend nights in haunted houses. Toughened them up, I suppose. I mean, the old people of that time were born in the late 1800s, a time before toilets, TV, and basic civil rights so they probably didn’t think asking their descendants to spend a night in a haunted house was that big a deal.

#5 – My advisors advise me this is the most likely scenario – you worked for it. You performed a series of tasks in a job in which you are gainfully employed and received fair market value compensation for your time. BRAVO! (Though you really should have fought pirates for it. Lazy.)

Anyway you got your dough, you should keep it. Don’t spend it on my book because my book is free. Instead, spend your money on:

#1 – Candy. 78 out of 5 Bogus Stat Scientists say it is good for the lumbago.

#2 – Robot friends. Don’t bother with human friends. They are very fussy and more often than not, they disappoint. Instead, buy your very own robot friend and program it to like you.

#3 – Puppies.

#4 – Bribes to the King of Norway to meet Thor. You know he can hook that up.

#5 – A robust and healthy combination of goods/services/shelter you need to survive, along with a good habit of saving, a strategy that includes cash reserves in the bank as well as a modest stock, bond and mutual fund portfolio to ensure that you won’t have to peddle your wares under a bridge well into advanced age just to make ends meet. My advisors advise me this is totes what you should be doing with the money you saved by not buying my book.

WHAT IS THE BOOK ABOUT?

Finally, like ten minutes into this post, you ask. CONSPIRACY THEORIES RUN AMUCK! There is a homeless man. He shouts conspiracy theories at everyone all day. Most think he is a kook, but apparently he has stumbled on something that puts a bee in the bonnet of a certain government agency that may or may not exist.

GET YOUR FREE COPY TODAY!

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GET A FREE BOOK!

I’m Crazy BQB and my book prices are so low, I’m giving them away! Bah ha ha!

3.5 READERS: BQB, how low are your book prices?

BQB: I’m glad you asked. My book prices are lower than:

#1 – A crooked Congressman

#2 – A snake trying to win a limbo contest

#3 – That shawty in the Flo-Rida song with the apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur who got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low (while the whole club was looking at her.

In conclusion, get this free book?

WHAT’S IT ABOUT?

Was there a low point in your life? (BTW the price of this book is lower than that.)

Maybe don’t feel too bad about that low point. Maybe that bad thing that happened turned out to be the best thing for the world.

Case in point. Evan Brooks has wasted his life pining for his ex, “the one that got away.” After some interference from a mysterious stranger, he learns their break-up was the best thing for the world, for by going their separate ways, they avoided having a son who becomes the world’s worst dictator. Now that he sees that world, Evan will have to figure out how to put the world above his own selfish needs.

BTW – IT’S FREE!

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