Daily Archives: January 16, 2016

Movie Review – The Revenant (2015)

The Old West. Beautiful landscapes. Bitter cold. Dangerous animals…

and men wearing various hollowed out animal carcasses as hats and coats.

BQB here with a view of the Oscar frontrunner, The Revenant.

Be forewarned there are SPOILERS ahead, so don’t come after me for revenge if you read on and the movie’s ruined for you.

You know, 3.5 readers, I’m not sure the average person grasps the concept of time.

To think, two hundred years ago, men were trudging through the frozen wilderness, fighting for their lives just to skin some beasts and sell their fur for a few measly bucks.

You’ve got it pretty good today in comparison now, don’t you?  Yeah. Think about that the next time you start yelling at Siri for giving one of her bullshit answers to your clearly pronounced question.

Our story begins with a band of fur traders.  Domhnall Gleeson plays their boss, Captain Andrew Henry.  Leonardo DiCaprio is the company’s scout, Hugh Glass and Tom Hardy? He’s Fitzgerald, the villainous douche of the film.

Tom may be stuck playing villainous douches forever because he plays them so well, just as he did with Batman’s Baine.  Oh wait, then again, he did play Mad Max, so I stand corrected.

I won’t spoil the details so….yadda yadda yadda…long story short, Glass has the ever loving shit mauled out of him by a bear, Fitzgerald, villainous douche that he is, leaves Glass behind and Glass hauls his horribly wounded body across the wilderness to seek his revenge.

There’s a bit more to it than that, but I don’t want to spoil it, even though I warned you about spoilers.

Great use of a CGI bear. I’ve had mixed feelings about CGI for awhile now.  It can provide amazing effects, or it can make a movie look cartoonish and silly, depending on how it was use.

Here, it was used in such a way that I really believed that a damn Grizzly bear was beating the shit out of a Hollywood leading man.

Great performances all around.  Hardy, as Fitzgerald, is a douche, but you’re also left with an understanding of how horrible the frontier was.  Would you have done the things that Fitzgerald did to survive or is there a limit to the depravity you’d take part in just to save your skin?  Fitzgerald didn’t have a limit and none of us will ever really know unless we’re put in a life or death situation.  Let’s hope we’re never put in one.

Domhnall Gleeson had a banner 2015. Ex Machina.  Brooklyn.  Shit, he’s even friggin General Hux in Star Wars.  And now The Revenant.  And before all this he was what?  Ronald Weasley’s brother in those Harry Potter movies???

Holy Crap, someone get me that guy’s agent.

Finally, let me just say as an avid movie buff, it’s been a pleasure to see Leonardo DiCaprio grow up on screen over the years.  He was the extra add on cute kid in the Growing Pains when all the other Seaver children started getting older.  Then he was Jack in Titanic.  Then his career could of gone anywhere but he put on some muscle, started getting movies like Blood Diamond and so on.

I think the best role he ever had was as Jordan Belfort in The Wolf of Wall Street.  That scene where he takes too many drugs and his body ends up like a pile of useless jello but he tries to move around at the same time…hilarious and horribly tragic at the same time.

He deserved an Oscar for that but that wasn’t his year.  Hopefully, this one will be.

I mean, not that his life is lacking or anything.  He probably sticks his head out the front door every morning and gets mauled by a hundred hot chicks but still.  He’s overdue for an award.

A thumbs up from BQB and consider seeing it on the big screen, just so you can get a full view of the mountains and scenery and nature and shit.

The movie itself is also worthy of winning Best Picture.  It’ll be great to see a deserving film take home the prize after that pile of crap Birdman walked away with it.

STATUS: Shelf worthy.

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