Bookshelf Battle

The following is an e-mail exchange between Homer, Legendary Poet of Ancient Greece, and Bookshelf Q. Battler, Proprietor of a Website with 3.5 Readers

TO: BQB

FROM: Homer

RE: The Many Ways in Which Your Rewrite of My Work Doth Suck

Sir,

Let it be known that while I appreciate the lengths your diminutive friend, the odd looking short being your refer to as “Alien Jones,” took to restore me back to life, I must protest the absurd changes you made to the draft I submitted to you.

We agreed that I would write and deliver unto you a work regarding the life’s story of the most alluring Helen of Troy.

I held up my end of the bargain. Yet, you took my most eloquently selected words, hacked them to pieces, and replaced them with profanity, vulgarity, and worse, references to the so-called pop culture of your time that those from my time would nary understand.

You are a charlatan and I demand that you cancel the publication of this work entirely.

Regards and With Tremendous Disappointment,

Homer

TO: Homer

FROM: BQB

RE: Stop Being a Bee-yotch

Homie…bubie…baby…are you kidding me? You’re kidding me, right?

Look, you’ve been stone cold dead since before Jesus was born. I appreciate you are history’s most accomplished poet but with all due respect, no one wants to learn shit about the past anymore.

Readers want T, A, and TNT. Its all about the TANT, baby. Titties + Ass + Explosive Action = peeps buy the shit out of that and Jeff Bezos flies one of his funky ass drones to our houses to drop off a fat ass check, son.

Ya heard?

TO: BQB
FROM: Homer

RE: Fat Ass Check

Well, as long as its fat…