Last Blood? I sure hope so!
BQB here with a review of one Rambo film too many.
Part of me gets it. Sylvester Stallone may be old, but he’s still kicking, so he wants to work. The film franchises he’s made over the years are like multi-million dollar businesses, so you can’t blame a guy for wanting to make as much dough as he can for as long as he can. Maybe, just maybe, he even loves the characters he’s created and wants to add more to their story.
It worked with Rocky 6 and the spin-off Creed movies. But in Creed, an old Rocky is passing the torch to a younger fighter, whereas in Rambo…well, Rambo is old now. The appeal of the original Rambo films was that Rambo was a bad ass who could murder throngs of villains with his pinky finger.
Today? Not so much, and at least the powers that be realized that a shirtless old Rambo running around, shooting 700 henchmen without reloading his gun once wasn’t going to fly.
Ultimately the film is a mashup of Taken (in that the beloved niece of his housekeeper gets kidnapped by a Mexican sex trafficking gang) and Home Alone (as Rambo lures the bad hombres back to his ranch where he subjects them to a series of elaborate and brutal traps.
Part of me is nostalgic for the 80s action flicks I grew up with. That part of me enjoyed it. Another part of me is an adult and that part wonders whether, you know, just because something can be made, does that mean it should be made?
Was there a Rambo film with an elderly protagonist that could have kicked a lot of ass? Possibly. Trainers are an essential part of a fighter’s life, so that led to a lot of screen time for Rocky in Creed. Maybe Old Rambo could have taken the role of a mentor to a younger soldier who goes berserk and, you know, as I say it, no that wouldn’t have worked. This was probably the best Rambo that was possible.
Still, was it necessary to see our longtime hero tortured in his old age so needlessly? The film begins with Rambo on a ranch, enjoying the outdoors, being one with nature. He’s found friendship with his housekeeper because I assume the idea of Rambo marrying an age appropriate woman made Sylvester Stallone want to puke. He’s even found the daughter he never had in the form of the housekeeper’s daughter that he helped raise so…I guess there wouldn’t have been much of a movie in letting Rambo live out his retirement years in peace but holy shit, it’s just sad this guy keeps getting tortured.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy. The violence is a bit over the top, even for a Rambo film. There were a few parts where the gore was so silly I openly laughed. If you’ve never seen the films before, the first two are the best and the third acceptable. This latest, and hopefully last one, is worth a rental, but nothing to rush to the theater for.
Bookshelf Battle 