Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Jul 19 2015
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Movie Reviews

Movie Review – Ant-Man (2015)

While other heroes might be larger than life, this one’s going small.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of Marvel’s latest summer smash hit, Ant-Man.

Be forewarned – the SPOILERS ahead aren’t tiny.

Ant-Man – Marvel – Movieclips Trailers

Try this one on for size (pun intended.)

In a comic book world where one superhero is big, bolder and badder than the next, this guy’s power comes from becoming super miniscule.  Not only that, but he controls a legion of ants who become his buddies.

Sounds epically stupid, right?

And yet, somehow Marvel pulls it off with great gusto in one of its best offerings this year.

Michael Douglas plays Dr. Hank Pym, whose Pym particle allows miniaturization.  The wearer of a suit infused with Pym’s creation allows the wearer:

  • To become tiny
  • And therefore able to infiltrate places held by the enemy undetected
  • To still pack a human sized punch despite being small
  • To become big and small at will, thus further ability to fake out the enemy
  • To control a legion of ant lackeys willing to do your bidding

Years ago, Pym put the kibosh on his creation, refusing to share it with the government out of fear it could fall into the wrong hands and be used for nefarious purposes.

Flash forward to today, where Pym’s protege, Darren Cross (Corey Stoll of House of Cards fame) has managed to recreate Pym’s research to create “Yellowjacket,” a suit that allows the wearer to become small, fly around and shoot lasers.

Cross has evil plans for his creation and that’s where ex-con Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) comes in.

Pym’s too old to don the suit himself, refuses to put his daughter Hope (Evangeline Lilly) at risk by allowing her to wear it, and thus Scott is recruited to become…dun dun dun…ANT-MAN!

This is a heist movie, more or less Marvel’s version of Ocean’s 11, as Scott must infiltrate Cross’ security and make off with the Yellowjacket tech before Cross’ evil plans are unleashed on the world.

I love Avengers, but here’s the thing.  Iron Man has super intellect.  The Hulk has super strength.  Thor has muscles out the wazoo.  Capt. America is the world’s ultimate soldier.

Try as much as you like, but you’ll never get to be like one of these guys.

That’s why Ant-Man is such a relatable character.  When Scott dons the Ant-Man suit, he doesn’t react with great poise and precision.  He gets slapped all over creation, avoiding people trying to step on him and a hungry rat who thinks he looks delicious.

He needs Pym to train him and he needs a lot of work as he makes a lot of mistakes along the way (as most average people would when gaining a special ability for the first time).

There’s cross-over into the Avengers world, though I won’t spoil it with details.  Fans won’t be disappointed.

Paul Rudd, known for his comedic roles, was the perfect choice for the part.  Meanwhile, it was great to see Michael Douglass, whose suffered health problems in recent years, back on the big screen in a major role.  Thanks to some fancy effects, there is a flashback part where he’s youth-i-fied to the point where he looks like he could fight Glenn Close for boiling his bunny (aw come on, you’ve had plenty of time to watch Fatal Attraction.)

It’s been awhile since Hollywood’s attempted a good big person becomes small movie.  Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, is the last one I can remember.

The key to this movie is it takes itself seriously when necessary, but there’s also balance where the goofy premise is poked fun at.  Epic fight scenes are shown on a small scale, where Ant-Man squares off against Yellowjacket in a daring, death defying struggle, but then panned out on a regular human sized scale their fight on a child’s train set looks like a few toys being tossed about.

Scott’s ex-con buddies who back him up also provide much comic relief.

Hollywood’s been at this one for awhile.  Ant-Man was in play for at least a decade before reaching the big screen.  The public had to develop a thirst for super heroes and a great team had to be put together, one that was self-aware that the concept is goofy and could portray that one the screen while also providing the high stakes, do or die situations that comic book fans love.

STATUS:  Shelf-worthy

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Jul 18 2015
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Movie Reviews

Movie Review – Trainwreck (2015)

A hard partying, traditional lifestyle loathing gal is forced to face her fear of commitment when she meets a man worth committing to.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of Amy Schumer’s comedy Trainwreck.

SPOILERS ahead that will totally wreck your good time if you haven’t seen it yet.

Trainwreck – Movieclips Trailers

3.5 Readers, let me start with this:

I LOVE AMY SCHUMER.

Male or Female, I think she’s the funniest comedian out there right now.

Her Comedy Central show, Inside Amy Schumer, regularly leaves me in stitches.  In particular, two sketches she put out this season have caused her stock to rise:

  • Last F*&kable Day – Amy has a picnic with Julia Louis Dreyfus, Tina Fey and Patricia Arquette and hilariously discuss how the media puts an expiration date of female actresses, leaving them unable to play anything other than frumpy mother types whereas male actors are left to play leading men until a ripe old age.  (“Remember how Sally Field played Tom Hanks’ love interest in Punchline and then five minutes later she was his mom in Forrest Gump?”)
  • Twelve Angry Men Inside Amy Schumer – In a parody of the classic jury deliberation film, twelve men deliberate whether or not Amy is hot enough to be allowed on TV, thus pointing out how women are often judged more on their looks than what actual talents and qualities they have to offer.

But before you rush to label her some kind of radical feminist, keep in mind she’s an equal opportunist when it comes to dishing the dirt, and in this reviewer’s eyes, there’s no better sign of a great comic than pulling no punches.

In other words, while she’s been great at pointing out difficulties women go through, she also gets men have it tough at times as well.  Thus, there’s the sketch where she dons the guise of a karate sensei and educates men on how to verbally spar with their angry girlfriends (“She will be unable to defy the authority of therapy and Oprah”)  or the sketch where women walk through the “Museum of Boyfriend Outfits” and react to various bad outfits worn by boyfriends as if they were some of history’s greatest atrocities. (In other words, sometimes women judge men a bit too harshly as well).

In short, she’s great.  I’m a big fan.  A big, big fan.

That’s why it’s hard for me to say answer this question:

Is this a good movie?

Answer:  It depends.

If you’re going because you love her TV show and were hoping this movie was going to be Amy’s big break to knock it out of the park, then you might be disappointed.

At least I was.

I judge comedies based on one question:

Did it make me laugh?

Answer:  Only a few times, and mostly at characters other than Amy’s.

Laughter is the most honest of emotional reactions.  Either something tickles your funny bone or it doesn’t.

For the most part, this didn’t.

Everyone’s sense of humor is different.  You might disagree and love it.

Colin Quinn doesn’t disappoint as Amy’s dad, Gordon, the womanizing commitment phobe whose bad example sets Amy up for a lifetime of cheap one-night stands and avoidance of any real intimacy.

Surprisingly, NBA superstar LeBron James steals the show.

Often times, sports star cameos in movies are flat.  Athletes aren’t trained in the theatrical arts, after all.  But LeBron, who plays himself as the friend of sports doctor Aaron (Amy’s love interest), turned in a funny performance that left me feeling like he was comfortable in front of a camera.

Hell, if this basketball thing ever stops working for him, he has a second career waiting for him as a thespian.

But while Colin and LeBron provided me with some chuckles, Amy just didn’t razzle my dazzle in this one.

Am I being too hard on her?  Maybe.  Maybe it’s just because her show is so great that I was expecting to roll in the aisles for this movie.  Maybe I built it up too much in my head.

Or maybe gut busting laughter wasn’t what the film was meant to be about, because if your goal in seeing it is to take in a sweet romance (albeit with R rated debauchery mixed in), it does actually deliver.

The theme that ties the movie together?  People today are so interested in petty nonsense that doesn’t matter.  Looks.  Status. Fashion.

Amy works at a stereotypically fluff magazine where she and her co-workers write catty articles that judge people all day.

But as the story points out, if you’re too focused on getting drunk and random hook-ups, then you might let someone who’d bring a lot of joy into your life pass you by.

There’s been a bunch of movies where the man is the one who needs to tone down his playboy lifestyle in order to let a special lady into his heart.  Here, Amy puts a modern twist on that old rom-com trope by being the woman who needs to decide whether meaningless trysts are worth passing up a good life with a wonderful man who’d do anything for her.

For me, the scene that makes the movie work comes when Amy’s nephew asks his aunt whether or not she likes Aaron.  Amy stumbles, says yes, but then starts to go into a longwinded explanation as to why that’s not enough, but the kid just interrupts with a, “Why don’t you invite him over?”

TRANSLATION:  So many potentially great relationships hid the skids when people talk themselves into dumping people they like for silly, superficial reasons.

If two people like each other and get along, they need to hold onto each other for dear life, because those kinds of relationships are hard to find.  If passed up, they rarely, if ever, come along again, at least not anytime soon.

STATUS:  C- Comedy.  B+ Love Story.  Amy and Bill get a chance to display their acting chops.  Not the knockout I hoped it would be, but don’t feel too bad for Amy.  Her mug’s all over the place these days.

Not shelf-worthy but worth a rental.

(But for the record, few people in the entertainment industry have done more to champion the idea that people shouldn’t be judged based on their looks than Amy Schumer, so on that note, A+)

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Jul 04 2015
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Movie Reviews

Movie Review – Max (2015)

I think Aloha might have some competition when it comes to the worst film I’ve seen in 2015.

(Although that could change if I ever bring myself to sit through Mortdecai.)

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of the furry family film Max.

OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING

Movieclips Trailers – Max 

Before I go on a tangent, let me begin by saying I get it.  I’m not this movie’s target audience.  It was meant as a family drama – a dog that the kids can root for combined with action that parents might prefer over listening to a resounding chorus of Elsa’s “Let it Go” for the 1,000th time.

To the film’s credit, it raises public awareness of the risks taken by military dogs and their handlers by pointing out the statistic that since 2003, 26 dogs and 25 handlers have died in combat.  A montage of real war dogs and their handlers starting from World War I, up through Vietnam and all the way to modern wars is heartwarming and sad, so much so that I debated whether or not to make fun of this film at all.

But what the hell, I’m going to.

The movie starts off with a noble premise.  Dog handler Kyle dies in an explosion in Afghanistan.  Prior to his tragic end, we witness Max’s ability to sniff out guns and bombs and to even engage in recon (the furry guy marches ahead of his human companion to check out whether things are safe.)

After returning stateside, Max is having a hard time without his handler.  He’s violent towards everyone except Justin, Max’s younger brother.  The military wants to put Max down but instead, Justin and his parents take the pooch in.

Ultimately, the first half of the film is a glorified Hallmark Channel movie.  Kyle’s family is having a tough time being without their lost son/brother.  Max is depressed without his buddy.  Together, family and dog bond and learn how to fight the pain that’s come their way.

Not really a blockbuster idea for a movie, but I’m not about to begrudge a film that brings the hardships of deceased soldiers’ families (and their dogs) to the forefront of a public that often forgets how tough service men and women have it.

But then the film takes an odd turn.

I don’t know how it happened, but in my mind, I picture a Hollywood suit saying something like, “We need to liven things up here!”

Enter the bizarre subplot that takes over the whole film.

As it turns out, Tyler, a soldier who was Kyle’s friend during the war, has been stealing enemy guns (found by military dogs), bringing them to America and selling them to Mexican cartel gangsters.

Because if there’s one thing family films need, it’s an international arms dealing conspiracy.

Somehow Max is aware of this and growls at Tyler whenever he’s in the room though the rest of the family just embraces him as Kyle’s beloved friend.  (I have no idea how Max, who you might recall, is a dog, figured out that Tyler’s dirty.  Maybe the military investigators kept him in the loop.)

Not to be outdone, Tyler treats Max as an enemy that needs to be dispatched before his ill gotten misdeeds are discovered.  At one point, Tyler slanders Max to Justin and Kyle’s father, Ray, telling Ray a fib that Kyle died because Max botched his duties as a military dog (when in fact, Max was totally a pro the entire time, not to mention the best actor in the whole film, which isn’t saying much.)

In what quite literally may be the dumbest moment in cinematic history, Ray, after hearing Tyler’s deceit, pulls a gun on Max in the manner of how, say in a cop movie, one cop might draw on someone who’s betrayed him.

I was left sitting there, wondering why I wasted money and time on this stupidity, fighting back the urge to yell at Ray, “Dude. It’s just a dog!”

Other notable dumb moments:

#1 – A military man, upon turning over top secret government information to Justin states something like, “I shouldn’t really be giving this to you.”  Don’t worry, military man.  I’m sure army dudes always turn over top secret info to plucky teenagers with no security clearance all the time

#2- Chuy and Carmen – Justin’s best friend, Chuy, and Chuy’s cousin Carmen/Justin’s love interest form a trio of kids who take down the international arms dealing ring.  In my mind, they actually prove to be two of the more enjoyable characters in the movie.  However, there was a not so subtle effort to get the point across that these are a couple of hispanic kids hanging out with a white kid.  It almost reeked of, “HEY!  HEY EVERYONE!  LOOK!  THIS MOVIE IS DIVERSE!  A WHITE KID IS FRIENDS WITH HISPANIC KIDS!”

Don’t get me wrong.  I think it’s great if kids of all races hang out and become buddies.  But then there’s abysmal dialog like this.  (I might not have it exactly down but here’s close to it):

CHUY:  You’re in love with the white boy.  You’re a traitor to your race.

CARMEN:  Mexican isn’t a race, idiot!

I…I don’t know where to begin with that one.  Oh, and then Chuy and Carmen have like a dozen dogs living in their house.  Oh and the gangster facilitating the deal between Tyler and the Cartel is a relative of Chuy and Carmen because…oh God I don’t know, I guess someone somewhere assumed there couldn’t possibly just be a nice hispanic family and a hispanic gangster residing in the same town unless they’re all related.

#3 – There were some cool 80’s style kids on bikes scenes.  (The 80’s were infamous for kids’ movies in which kids rode to glory and saved the day on their bikes.)  Usually, bikes aren’t exactly a match for international arms smugglers though.

(But seriously, all fun aside, Chuy and Carmen are the only characters that make the second half of the film watchable (barely).

#4 – Tyler and one of his cronies pull a frame job on Max, convincing authorities that Max was the perpetrator of an unjustified attack, just to get the canine out of the picture because…I don’t know.  I guess Tyler’s concerned that Max will woof to the police or something.  (It’s a dog!!!)

In short, I am a movie buff.  I have seen thousands of films in my life, some spectacular, some not so much and others just in the middle.  Once I’ve plunked down my cash and started watching, I stay through the end.

I stayed through the end of this one, but this was literally the first film I’ve watched where I just kept checking the time and saying to myself, “Please God, let this be over.”

In short, no I’m not a family looking for something to do over this holiday weekend.  If you are, you and your kids might very well enjoy this film.  Personally, I think it should have stuck with the “sad family adopts angry dog and they all learn and grow together” angle because the international arms dealing conspiracy is where it truly jumped the shark.

STATUS:  An A+ for educating the public about the important role played by military dogs and their handlers, only to denigrate into D- territory once the gun running plot is introduced.  Your kids might like this one, but please keep it off my shelf.

PS – It’s kind of too bad because, taken seriously, a movie in which soldiers and their dogs kick ass and take names on the battlefield, if done correctly, has all the potential for an awesome blockbuster.

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Jul 01 2015
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Movie Reviews

Movie Review – Terminator Genisys (2015)

The Mother of Dragons forgets her turquoise dress!  An elderly terminator that needs to be in bed by 4 pm!

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of Terminator Genisys 

OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING

At the outset, let me give this film a compliment (of sorts):

1)  It’s the best Terminator film since T2: Judgement Day…

2)  …but that’s not saying much because Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines and Terminator Salvation were a couple of hot steamy turd sandwiches served up on a pair of silver platters.

That’s not intended as an insult to this film. I just think it might be impossible to beat the moments of sheer terror and exhilarating action provided by the first two films in the franchise.

For a moment, that’s what I thought this film was trying to do.  Hell, for a moment in the beginning, I thought it might even achieve that miraculous feat.

The film starts in 1984.  Without letting the cat out of the bag, let’s just say that the original evil Arnold terminator from the first movie (i.e. a totally buff CGI version of Arnold in his prime) squares off against a nice Arnold terminator akin to John Connor’s protector in the second film.  Meanwhile, a T1000, the shapeshifting liquid metal baddie from the second film jumps into the mix.

Sarah Connor (played by the Khaleesi..er I mean Emilia Clarke) and Kyle Reese (Sarah Connor’s human protector from the original film, played in this installment by Jai Courtney) round out the action.

In other words, it seemed like a great idea.  Take the best parts of the best two films in the franchise and throw them together in one big mashup.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t last long as the story jumps to 2017, where Genisys, a new form of Skynet that takes advantage of our love/lust relationship with cell phones, social media, and non-stop connectivity, needs to be stopped.

Arnold plays “Pops,” another “good terminator,” this one having been sent back in time to be Sarah’s protector.  We’re told that synthetic terminator skin ages over time, thus explaining why a man/machine looks like he’s ready to play a rousing game of bingo at the senior center.  We (or at least I) go along with it to give the Governator another bite at the apple.

Why not?  The guy did give us so many awesome action flicks when he was in his prime and oddly enough, the “old terminator” concept is touching at times.

I don’t want to give away who the ultimate baddie is in this film but suffice to say, I thought that part was dumb.  Alas, I can’t tell you why without spilling the beans.  Maybe after a week or two after folks have had the chance to see it I’ll talk about it.

Clarke provides a great performance in her first major role that doesn’t involve dragons.  (Still, if there could be a Terminators vs. Dragons crossover that’d be epic).

That being said, she’s a far cry from actress Linda Hamilton, who as Sarah Connor in the first film, convinced me that she was a damsel in distress and in the second film, convinced me that she’d turned herself into a gung-ho no holds barred ready to rock robot killing machine.

Throughout the film, there’s a whole lot of “timeline stuff.”  This happened in this timeline so that happened in that timeline.  If that happens now will it happen later?  Can people have two sets of memories, one from one timeline and one from another?

I don’t know.  That part’s confusing.  If you can figure it out, be my guest.  I have a life, folks, so I don’t have time to sit down with a flowchart and a slide rule and figure out the various outcomes of what happens when fictional manbots do various things at different times.

Here’s a Pop Culture Mystery Question I need to ask Hatcher to track down:

1)  If John Connor sends Kyle Reese back in time to save his mother, Sarah Connor (in the original 1984 version and in this one)

2)  And John Connor is conceived as a byproduct of Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese boinking in the first film (I’m sorry, as a result of their love)

3)  Then how is there a damn John Connor to send Kyle Reese back in time in the first place?

Thank God there’s a super sleuth in my employ to answer questions like these.  This one’s been rattling around in my head for ages.

If you know the answer, help Hatcher out.

Overall, it is a solid summer blockbuster and it’s great to see aspects we loved from the first two films on the big screen again.  It doesn’t rise up to the level of the first two, but it does surpass the third and fourth installments.

(The fourth installment being that one where Christian Bale played John Connor and famously shouted all kinds of abuse at a lightning guy for breaking his concentration.)

SIDENOTE – The CGI version of Arnold in his 1984 prime was pretty convincing.  Will there ever be a time when movies could be made entirely using CGI characters?  Do actors/actresses have something new to worry about?

STATUS:  Shelf-worthy.

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Jun 28 2015
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Movie Reviews

Movie Review – Ted 2 (2015)

Oh Ted, you talking teddy bear you, what wacky hijinx will you get into next?

OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING – though let’s face it, like its 2012 predecessor, it’s basically one big extended Family Guy episode.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of Seth MacFarlane and Mark Wahlberg’s latest dip into the sequel well.

It’s strangely poignant that this movie came out on the same day that the U.S. Supreme Court issued a landmark ruling that same-sex marriage is legal in all fifty states.  While I don’t want to offend anyone by comparing the civil rights struggle of a whole group of Americans to that of a fictional teddy bear, the movie does in a big way and at times, it’s surprisingly poetic (well, as poetic as a movie about a bong hitting foul mouthed stuffed animal can get).

Ted and human girlfriend Tammy got married at the end of the last film.  You remember the first film, right?  It was a welcome, well-received smash hit, one that left you rolling in the aisles and busting at the seems with laughter?

This one, not so much, though there were still plenty of moments that left BQB slapping his knee.  In McFarlane’s defense, sometimes it is hard to catch lightning in a bottle twice.

When Ted and Tammy’s marriage starts to hit the skids, they decide to try to revitalize things by having a baby (because that always helps, right?)

Ted can’t biologically father a child because he’s a teddy bear and I’ll avoid spoilers by just pointing out that after various comical attempts at obtaining a kid, Ted ends up being declared “property” by the government.

Turns out, he’s not legally recognized as a person.

It’s up to Wahlberg (Ted’s longtime friend John), and John’s new love interest, freshly graduated and green lawyer Sam (Amanda Seyfried) to save the day and convince the world that there’s more to Ted than fabric and cotton stuffing.

Morgan Freeman who plays a veteran attorney that comes to the group’s aid, puts it best when he informs Ted that his problem isn’t exactly a legal one but rather an emotional one.  Society has a tendency to answer questions like this with its heart rather than with an eye toward the law or a consideration as to what’s fair.

In other words, Ted, who’s spent a lifetime hitting the bong, watching TV, and not doing much else, has to do something to stand out as a valued member of society in order to convince people to see things from his perspective.

Again, not to compare an actual civil rights movement to a teddy bear’s struggle, but when you think about it, Morgan’s on to something.

Massachusetts (Ted’s home state) was the first state whose judiciary declared same-sex marriage legal in 2004.  At the time, people across the country, Democrats and Republicans alike, declared the sky was falling and there was some kind of conspiracy to turn everyone gay.  Eleven years later when that didn’t happen, people softened up, a lot of minds were changed, and the U.S. Supreme Court was able to make a decision that probably would have gotten them tarred and feathered over a decade ago.

In other words, we like to think this is a “nation of laws, not men” (John Adams for the win), but at the end of the day, vexing questions are often decided through emotion rather than reason and sometimes those in a struggle have to wait for emotion to swing their way.

Oh, and also the teddy bear smokes pot.

STATUS:  Shelf worthy, worth a watch for comedy lovers, though does not surpass the first film.

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Jun 14 2015
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Movie Reviews

Movie Review – Spy – 2015

It’s original.  It’s not a reboot of a remake of a sequel.  It’s the breakout success of the summer.  And it left BQB rolling in the aisles.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of the comedy/action film Spy.

OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING

Movie Trailer – Spy – 20th Century Fox

I have to admit going into this I wasn’t expecting much, so I love it when a movie leaves me pleasantly surprised and wanting more.

Melissa McCarthy’s great and all but for awhile I’ve felt her best performance was in Bridesmaids and everything else was just icing on the cake.

Until now.

McCarthy stars as Susan Cooper, a desk jockey CIA analyst who provides mission support for CIA agent Bradley Fine (Jude Law).

When the covers of the CIA’s top agents are blown, the situation calls for a real nobody to save the day, someone the enemy has never heard of before.

Or in other words, Susan Cooper.

Over the years, many films have tried to blend action with comedy with mixed results.  Sometimes there’s a focus on the comedy and the action is watered down or vice versa.  This film, on the other hand, provides the perfect mix of both.  I was slapping my knee uncontrollably at all the funny bits but at the same time, was blown away with visual effects and fight scenes that rival any of the other action blockbusters out this summer.

McCarthy’s stock will no doubt rise after this picture.  Not to give too much away, but she hilariously overcomes various lame cover identities to take control and bring down a scheme to sell a nuclear bomb.

What’s the key to a great comedy?  For me, it’s uncontrollable laughter.  Laughter is as real as it gets when it comes to emotional reaction.  You either laugh or you don’t and I can’t remember a movie that left me guffawing like an idiot the way this one did.

Jason Statham shows a new side of himself as he provides a parody of every tough guy he’s ever played in the form of Agent Rick Ford.  As a running joke in the film, Ford continuously regales Cooper with countless stories of dangers he’s encountered on the job.  He’s been shot, stabbed, set on fire, and ingested one-hundred and seven varieties of poison, just to name a few.

Statham with a sense of humor.  Who knew he had it in him?

As Rayna, the bad girl of the film, Rose Byrne proves that various dirty words said with a British accent become that much more hilarious.

British actress Miranda Hart plays Cooper’s sidekick Nancy, another CIA desk jockey who’s thrust into the thick of it without any prior field experience.  I’d never heard of her before but her performance left me hoping to see more of her in the future.

Ultimately, this movie pokes fun at the James Bond films and yet, not only does it do that well, it becomes something special all of its own.

As you might be aware, Director Paul Feig and McCarthy are a comedic duo.  Feig provides the film know how while McCarthy provides the laughs.

Up until now, the duo hadn’t provided a movie with intense action and special effects but if this film is an indication of what they are capable of, then this critic is resting a little easier knowing that the upcoming Ghostbusters reboot is in good hands.

STATUS:  Shelf worthy.

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Jun 12 2015
3 Comments
Movie Reviews

Movie Review – Jurassic World (2015)

Dun dun…dun dun!  Da da dun da dun dun dun!

That was me trying to type the Jurassic Park/World theme song.

Nevermind.  OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING.

To paraphrase Jeff Goldblum’s line from the original film, this franchise, like life, keeps finding a way.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of this summer’s blockbuster dino-fest Jurassic World.

Movie Trailer – Jurassic World – Universal Pictures

Do you remember Jurassic Park?  I do.  As a kid, I spazzed out over the movie’s sheer awesomeness.  In fact, that flick was the first to use CGI on a massive scale to bring dinosaurs to life, thus ushering in an era of computer generated monsters, beasts and assorted bad guys.

In short, it blew peoples’ minds, mine included.  The best description I can give is for me, seeing Jurassic Park was probably a lot like how young people felt when they saw Star Wars in 1977.

The only downside?  Are we at the peak of what special effects can do?  Are we spoiled now?  Are we used to CGI?  Will someone ever figure out some other awesome thing to do in a movie that will knock our socks off, leaving a new generation of kids’ jaws to drop the way mine did when I saw the first film in this series?

Time will tell, but a movie growing public that’s grown used to the wonders of CGI reminds me of the line uttered by Chris Pratt’s character Owen Grady – “Aren’t dinosaurs enough?”

He asks that in response to Bryce Howard’s Claire, the administrator of the new Jurassic World theme park, who notes that every few years a new and even more fearsome dinosaur has to be created to keep the public’s attention.

Sorry Owen.  In theory, you’re right.  Dinosaurs should be enough and so should a steady diet of CGI effects dished out by Hollywood over the past twenty plus years.

But it never is.  Once the “wow factor” dissipates, whatever wowed us becomes yesterday’s news and we’re left wanting something bigger and better.

Here, we find it in the form of the Indominus Rex, the super dinosaur engineered to bring tourists to the park but alas, and perhaps as can be expected in these movies, he escapes, thus giving Owen a Claire a run for their money.

Owen is a dinosaur handler on the island working on a project to train raptors to work with humans.  The raptors were arguably scarier than the T-Rex in the first film.  Sure, the T-Rex might stomp or chomp you but the highly intelligent raptors will haunt you in a pack and find you wherever you’re hiding.

Raptors as the good guys in this film?  Say it ‘aint so!

There’s plenty of homages to the original film.  There’s a nerd with a soda cup and a messy work station ala Dennis Nedry (Wayne Knight who went on to become Jerry Seinfeld’s arch enemy Newman).  Claire’s nephews (the children in peril in this film) find a long discarded goggle hat similar to the one Tim wore when he and his sister Lex where the children in peril in the original.  Mr. DNA makes a cameo.  And of course, there’s a statue of John Hammond.

I don’t want to give much more away but suffice to say, it lives up to the hype and since the original, it is the first sequel to do Michael Crichton’s vision justice.

Sadly, we lost Crichton in 2008, but his books and the movies based on them live on.  After watching Jurassic Park, I ran out and got a copy of the book and I remember being inspired by a man who didn’t make his way into the entertainment industry through the usual route (i.e. I’ll jaunt off to Hollywood and see what happens!) but rather as a doctor who took his scientific/medical knowledge and used it to churn out stories that kept us in suspense.

Chris Pratt continues to inspire nerds everywhere.  Honestly, when you first started watching Parks and Recreation, did you think the guy playing Andy would ever find himself as a summer blockbuster leading man two years in a row?  He’s not that cookie cutter, exceptionally handsome dude that looks like he got yanked off the Hollywood assembly line that we’ve grown used to.  Rather, he kind of looks like a guy we’d want to have a beer with after the movie.

Bryce plays the bean counting administrator well, obsessed with work and dollars only to realize the gravity of the situation when the Indominus goes for a stroll.

Dr. Wu (B.D. Wong of Law and Order fame), was in the first film and he reprises his role here.  SPOILER ALERT – he runs of with some dino DNA, thus leaving this reviewer to speculate that the door is opened for yet another sequel.

It’ll have to be awesome, because apparently, the average, run of the mill dinosaur just isn’t good enough anymore.

STATUS:  Shelf Worthy

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Jun 07 2015
2 Comments
Movie Reviews

Movie Review – Entourage (2015)

T.  A.  Ari yells at everyone to get his way.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of Entourage, the movie continuation of HBO’s comedy series that lampoons the Hollywood lifestyle and our obsession with it.

Movie Trailer – Entourage – Warner Brothers – 2015

I have to admit I never really watched the series during its 2004-2011 run.  A toned down version was syndicated for awhile and I’d often leave it running in the background while I did other things, thus giving me a little exposure to the world of this group who left Brooklyn for California in search of fame and fortune.  In general, I knew that Vinny (Adrian Grenier) was the movie star and he never went anywhere without his brother, Johnny/Drama (Kevin Dillion) and buddy/manager Eric (Kevin Connolly) and his other friend/driver Turtle (Jerry Ferrara).

The driving force behind the series was Vince’s agent, Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven) who comically threatened/swore/shouted at everyone to get his way, often stressing out to the point where it affected his marriage with his wife, who we’re only introduced to as Mrs. Ari (Perry Reeves).  Meanwhile, Ari heaps untold amounts of abuse on his assistant, “Gaysian” (gay asian) Lloyd, so much so that one wonders how any of it got on the air as the early 2000’s, though not as politically correct as today, was still a fairly PC time.  Of course, the whole point of the Ari/Lloyd interactions is to display Ari as a jerk, so maybe that’s why it flies.

As I took in the flick, I quickly realized that casually watching the syndicated version of Entourage did not give me the real experience of the show.  After all, editing out Ari’s swears, not to mention the other characters’ depravity, clearly made the show pointless in retrospect.  I enjoyed the movie to the point where I’ll have to check out the unedited series now.

Even so, people who know nothing about the show will ease into the film just fine.  There’s a brief explanation of who all the characters are.  At the start of the film, Vinny’s at the height of his career and wants to direct his next picture.  Ari has moved from agent to head of a major studio.  Kevin remains as Vinny’s trusted manager and the short jokes continue to come at him.  Drama is the running joke of Hollywood, that loser who has a bit part in every movie but can’t catch a break that will bring him to the big time.  Turtle has made a fortune in a tequila company but still drives Vinny anyway.

And Ari?  He’s still yelling, swearing and driving Mrs. Ari up the wall.

The film is basically one extended series episode.  Ari agrees to allow Vinny to direct the futuristic sci-fi flick, Hyde, a movie version of the classic Dr. Jeykll and Mr. Hyde tale.  To everyone’s surprise, Vinny actually does a great job, though he does need an extra $5 million as he’s gone over budget.  Alas, the hijinx ensue when the Texas tycoon financing the film (Billy Bob Thornton) sends his dimwitted son Travis (Haley Joel Osment) to check out the film and see if it’s worth dumping more cash into.

Ari and the gang steadfastly defend the movie but Travis, who knows nothing of filmmaking, has tons of ridiculous changes he wants to make, thus giving the audience an insider’s view into some of the behind the scenes nonsense that goes on behind the production of their favorite films.

A party on a yacht with scantily clad models.  Another party at a mansion with scantily clad models.  Fast cars.  Beautiful scenery.  Obscenely good looking people.  Half the film makes you wonder what you did wrong to not find your way into this lifestyle yet the over half, with all the petty squabbling that goes on, leaves you thinking you might not be missing out on all that much.

Hollywood is a place where dreams come true and magic comes alive, but it’s also a place where good looking crybabies are spoiled rotten and insulated from the daily grind that normal people experience.  The series and the movie poke fun at both sides well.

Cameos are abundant with a number of actors, musicians, and sports legends performing walk-ons.  UFC fighter turned action star Ronda Rousey plays Turtle’s love interest, kicking his ass in the octagon in one of the funnier parts of the movie. (Admittedly, as Bookshelf Q. Battler, I’ve always been interested in finding a woman who is hot yet also large and strong enough to defend me from the Yeti and so Ms. Rousey has left me intrigued.)

Is it cinema gold?  No.  But that’s the point as the film makes fun of itself as well as the industry that pumps out the schlock that we’re glued to 24/7.

Will this film appeal to everyone?  Well, let’s just say it’s an acquired taste.  If you have an idolized view of Hollywood or have a tendency to put your favorite actors/actresses on a pedestal, you might want to skip it.  After all, who wants to see how the sausages are made as long as they’re delicious at the end of the day?

STATUS:  Shelf worthy.

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May 31 2015
5 Comments
Movie Reviews

Movie Review – Aloha (2015)

Recently, one of my noble 3.5 readers accused this blogger of mincing words.  I described San Andreas as “not the best film I’ve ever seen but not the best either.”

The aforementioned reader had a point.  As a reviewer, I need to take a side.

Luckily, Cameron Crowe’s romcom Aloha makes it easy for me to be clear:

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of one of the worst damn movies he’s ever seen in his entire life.

Aloha – Sony Pictures 

Some movies are entrees – served up with expert precision, arranged on your plate in such a beautiful manner that you almost don’t want to eat them out of fear that once you do, the experience will be over.

Then, some movies are like a five dollar all you can eat buffet.  You shove a little bit of everything in your cake hole and the only result is that you leave feeling bloated and gassy.

With several storylines that meander all over and never quite hit their mark, Aloha, I’m sad to say, is one of those buffet movies.

OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING

I’m sad to say it because it’s not the star studded cast’s fault.  Bradley Cooper (Gilcrest) is charming, Emma Stone (Captain Ng) is adorable, and Bill Murray (Welch) is his usual zany self, though he’s more reserved these days as an elder statesman of comedy.  Rachel McAdams (Tracy) aptly plays Gilcrest’s long lost love while John Krasinski provides one of the funnier (dare I say redeeming) scenes of the film as Woodside, Tracy’s husband who, despite his strong silent type demeanor is able to communicate all he needs to say to Gilcrest with a few looks and a shoulder grab.

Plot lines are tossed at the audience like they’re tennis balls stuffed into a serve-o-matic machine stuck on the automatic setting.

Gilcrest and Tracy have to deal with their baggage.  Woodside has to learn how to communicate with his wife with actual words.  Ng is all business and is a zealous defender of native Hawaiian culture, Gilcrest has to choose between his job or his new love interest.  Welch is trying to launch his own space weapon in the guise of a communications satellite and those are just the highlights.

Character development isn’t the film’s strong suit.  We’re shown a brief Afghanistan flashback scene where Gilcrest is so distraught over his life that he doesn’t care when he’s shot by (I guess they were terrorists?  It wasn’t really explained).  Welch lobs an accusation that Gilcrest took a hundred thousand dollar bribe during his time in Afghanistan and that enormous plot line is never fully resolved, thus putting me in the awkward position of being expected by Hollywood to hope that an alleged traitor to his country will overcome the obstacles standing between him and his new lady love in true sappily sweet romantic comedy fashion.

No thanks.

Sadly, the film has two important messages that get lost amidst all the tomfoolery:

1)  All those vacation brochures you drool over that make you wish you could be in Hawaii right now are all well and good, but America isn’t in it for the macademia nuts and pretty scenery.  Hawaii serves as the lynchpin of America’s sphere of influence in the Pacific.  Seeing as how the islands play a vital role when it comes to U.S. global interests, we could probably do more to help the native people who call it home, many of whom aren’t exactly thrilled that we’re there.

2)  Over the past several years, space exploration has moved from government to private business control, with the claim fed to the populace that this is somehow a great move, that the uber rich will be able to dump more money into space technology than governments can.  That may be true, but as this film warns, people like Welch might use that power for unsavory purposes, though a billionaire trying to launch his own weaponized satellite seems like it’s more fitting in a James Bond film than a romcom.

Overall, the movie isn’t so much a cooked to perfection filet mignon so much as it is a bubbling over gumbo where Crowe, as chef, just tossed everything in his kitchen into the pot.  Is this a story about one man’s attempt to find hope again after the world has put him through the ringer?  Is it about love?  Is it about the military industrial complex?

The best description I can give is that Crowe took his signature work, Jerry Maguire, mixed it up with one of Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan novels, then went heavy on the romantic comedy angle, shortchanged the seedy, dirty military contractor angle and left the audience thinking that sadly, the no plot action film starring the ex-wrestler in the theater next door might have been the better choice this weekend…

…which isn’t saying a lot.

STATUS:  Not shelf worthy.

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May 30 2015
7 Comments
Movie Reviews

Movie Review – San Andreas (2015)

Holy Crap it must suck to live in Los Angeles.

At any given moment you could be burnt up in a wildfire, carjacked by hoodlums, or hell, you could be practicing your putt on the back nine when friggin’ Harrison Ford lands a damn antique World War II plane directly on your face.

On top of all that, earthquakes are always a constant danger for the west coast due to the San Andreas fault and thanks to big blockbuster special effects, audiences are given a front row seat to experience just how horrifying it would be to trapped in the middle of one.

“Shut your mouth and know your rule, you 9.0 on the Richter scale, jabroni!  Can you smell what the Rock is cookin’?”

Because…you know…the Rock used to be a wrestler and he’d call his opponents jabronis and ask them if they can smell what he’s cooking?

Never mind, 3.5 readers.  Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of this summer’s wide scale disaster film, San Andreas.

(I know.  I’m disappointed that it wasn’t about the video game that took away a large chunk of my early  to mid 2000’s.)

OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING

Trailer – San Andreas – Warner Brothers Pictures

I’m sorry.  I forgot we have to refer to the lead actor as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.  He’ll always be the Rock to me, but I don’t want to quibble with a guy who could rip my arm off and beat me with it.  I don’t think he would, he seems like too nice of a guy, but the point is he totally could so why chance it?

Johnson stars as Ray, an LA Fire Department rescue chopper pilot.  He’s in the process of a divorce with his wife Emma (Carla Gugino).  Together, they scour the California coast in search of their daughter Blake (Alexandra Daddario), braving a non-stop onslaught of falling buildings, debris, explosions, floods looters along the way.

Blake teams up with two British blokes, her love interest Ben (Hugo Johnstone-Burt) and Ben’s little brother Ollie (Art Parkinson) as they face all sorts of mayhem on their own.

Paul Giamatti lends his fine tuned character acting skills to bring us Lawrence, the Cal Tech professor who was able to predict the earthquake was coming but no one listened.  Once the carnage ensues, people are all ears it’s it up to Lawrence to save as many lives as possible by getting across the message that more large scale seismic activity is on the way.

Overall, the film is more of a thrill ride on screen than a vehicle to deliver any sort of a plot, though it does have its dramatic flair moments.  Ioan Gruffodd of the original Fantastic Four films plays the cowardly Daniel, the man Emma’s left Ray for only to instantly regret it once his true colors are shown.

(Between you and me, 3.5 readers, in a film about a man flying around in the middle of a major earthquake, the most far fetched concept is the idea that a woman would dump the Rock in the first place.  I mean, I don’t know, I’m not a woman but I’d venture that few are able to resist the smell of what the Rock is cooking.)

If the movie serves any social purpose, it would be that once all of the CGI eye candy is digested, the very real danger of earthquakes and other devastating natural catastrophes are something that we should be preparing more for.

I’ll have to consult with Dr. Hugo because I honestly have no idea what kind of warning systems are in place and what evacuation procedures are available for Californians other than to run around with their arms flailing as the chunks of cement come flying overhead as illustrated in this film every two seconds.

As disaster flicks go, it wasn’t half-bad.  Not the worst film I’ve ever seen but not the best either.  It’s definitely something you’ll enjoy more on the big screen so it’s worth a trip to your local theater.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy

PS – Am I the only one who didn’t know that guy’s name is Ioan Gruffudd?  I feel like I’ve seen him in a zillion movies/TV shows over the years but never did I once suspect he was packing a moniker like “Ioan Gruffudd.”

Kind of sounds like he could be the villain in the next Star Wars movie.  “Quick!  Use the force or Ioan Gruffudd will conquer the galaxy!”

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