Tag Archives: celebrities

Fantasy Fights #1

Who wins the following fantasy fights:

Michael Jackson vs. Action Jackson

Bella Abzug vs. Belle from “Beauty and the Beast”

Marvelous Marvin Hagler vs. Marvin the Martian

Kurt Cobain vs. Kurt Vonnegut

Bell and Biv vs. Devoe

Art Carney vs. a Carnival Carney

Your Momma vs. Some Other Guy’s Momma

Bruce Lee vs. Lee Meriweather

Kenny G. vs. Kenny from “South Park”

Dr. Pepper vs. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Band

The U.S. Navy vs. That Old Pair of Navy Blue Pants You Don’t Wear Any More

Grizzy Adams vs. Gomez Addams

The Winner of the Above Fight vs. John Adams

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RIP Florence Henderson

Oh my God, 3.5 readers.

It is a very sad day here for the pop culture fest that is Bookshelf Battle due to the news that Florence Henderson has passed away at the age of 82.

I mean, she lived a full life and got to do great things and lived to an old age but still, she was truly America’s mom.

She played Carol Brady, the mom on the Brady Bunch, then in her post-Brady years, made a career off of cameos where she’d either do something hilariously un-Mrs. Brady-like or would appear as a funny motherly figure or something.

I never heard of some of her other pre-Brady gigs before but the news outlets are reporting she did have a pretty noteworthy Broadway career and spent some time on The Today Show before becoming Alice’s boss.

Oh God, I’m so shaken by this tragic news that I’m going to refrain from asking why did Mrs. Brady need a house keeper if she didn’t have a job.  We all know why. Six kids are a handful and the woman needed assistance. Stop judging, haters.

2016, you dick! How dare you take America’s mom?

Anyway, I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of Brady Bunch clips on the news today, so I’m going to share the Weird Al Yankovic clip where she starred opposite Weird Al in his Amish Paradise video.

What are your favorite Florence Henderson memories, 3.5 readers?

PS thank you the Yeti for letting me out of the cage to write this Florence Henderson report.  It is nice to know that we can put our rivalry aside in dark times like these.

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Madame Tussaud’s New York City Part Two

So many celebrities so little time.


Johnny Depp – usually needs to be Jack Sparrow, Willy Wonka, or the Mad Hatter to be recognizable.


I’ll be there for you…


Anne Hathaway – hot and smart, a double threat I could never please.

Morgan Freeman narrated as Anne rejected me.

“I don’t believe in all my years I had ever seen such an epic rejection.”


Mummy.


Hitler…oh no, wait, Charlie Chaplin.


John Wayne, pilgrims.


Yippy ki yay.


No Lucy you can’t-a play at the club.


Sit in Don Draper’s chair.


They had a virtual reality Ghostbusters game. VR is here, 3.5.


He slimed me.


Hee hee!


Don’t make me close one more door, I don’t want to hurt anymore.

RIP Whitney.


Crap I forgot to find out if this was Venus or Serena. I will guess Serena.


Float like a butterfly…


Jeter.


She needs a wax meat dress.


Puffy taught me everything I know about being a media mogul.


I wanted there to be a wax Toto.


Madame Tussaud herself.

You know, 3.5 readers, it’s never too late. Madame Tussaud lived in obscurity until age 41, when she started going on tour with her wax creations in 1802. She even survived a shipwreck while sailing with her figures to Ireland.

Chase that dream, 3.5.

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BQB Does Madame Tussaud’s New York City

Celebrities.

We love them. We worship them.

Alas, though we rarely, if ever, get to meet them, Madame Tussaud’s legendary wax figures give us the next best thing.

To my surprise, visitors are encouraged to to touch (I refrained from honking wax celebrity boobs) and to take pictures.

Madame Tussaud’s has definitely embraced the selfie generation as the masses love taking pics with their favorite wax celebs and posting them on social media.

Here are some of BQB’s faves:


“I’m wax Regis and I’m out of control!”


Kim Kardashian – the madam had to use a whole helluvalot of wax to craft that baronka donk.


Scarlett Johansson – I offered to buy this figure, not for perverted reasons, but because sometimes Video Game Rack Fighter goes away on business and I get ever so lonely.

OK so for perverted reasons.


Bleh!


I’m not sure who this man is but he was WAY more into the Scarlett Johansson figure than I was. 


Not gonna lie. Teenage me would have sprayed his shorts. Come to think of it, thirties me needs to change his undies.

Moving on…


Work, work, work, work, work. Sigh, Madam T wouldn’t sell me RiRi either.


 This is how we do dee doo.

I didn’t offer to buy her. I didn’t think I could handle it.


Jenna Marbles – this one warmed my usually otherwise cold heart, 3.5 readers.

No agents, auditions, or lucky breaks. Jenna hit it big with her YouTube videos.

To the best of my knowledge she’s the first Internet celebrity to be so honored.

Maybe Madam T will put a wax self-publisher on display one day?

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Daily Discussion with BQB – What Was Your Favorite Muhammad Ali Quote?

Good morning 3.5 readers.

We’re waking up to news that “The Greatest” boxer, “Muhammad Ali” has passed away at 74.

Those who followed his career remember his poetic ability to taunt opponents with proud, public declarations of his abilities.

Obviously, the one to me, that is most memorable and I have heard used most often in pop culture is, “I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.”

Can you think of any others? Or do you have any memories to share?

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Daily Discussion with BQB -Blake Lively’s Butt

Good Morning 3.5 Readers.

For our very first daily discussion, we’re talking about Blake Lively’s butt.

The Blakester popped this picture on instagram:

View this post on Instagram

L.A. face with an Oakland booty

A post shared by Blake Lively (@blakelively) on

So you can see in the caption she says, “LA face with an Oakland booty.”

As you butt rap song aficionados may be aware, that’s a reference to Sir Mix-a-lot’s classic tune, “Baby Got Back” in which the world’s premiere rapping knight proclaims his love of large butts to the world.

Blake took a lot of heat.  People said this was a racist comment.  I guess if I think about it, I can sort of see the point.  (If you say you have an LA face and an Oakland booty, aren’t you saying that white faces are better than black faces and black butts are bigger than white butts?)

And then I suppose people might complain isn’t this too superficial? Is she seeking attention, like “Hey everyone look at my face and butt!”

I don’t know.  I understand people are trying to be more sensitive about racial issues these days.  But if you want my two cents, you also have to consider the speaker’s intent when analyzing these comments.

I don’t believe she intended to make fun of black people.  If anything, I think she was making fun of her own butt.  She is married to Ryan Reynolds so she must have a healthy sense of humor.

And if she was seeking attention…well…that’s what celebrities do, isn’t it?

What say you, 3.5 readers? Was Blake Lively in the wrong or should lonely male nerds the world over thank her for posting a picture of her fabulous badonka donk and move on?

Or heck, don’t move on. Just stare at it with your jaw dropped for awhile and drool like Homer Simpson.  “Mmm Age of Adaline heiney…”

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RIP Prince

Dig if you will the picture, of BQB and his 3.5 readers embraced in sadness today as we mourn the loss of super funkadelic pop star Prince Rogers Nelson.

Yes. Prince’s name really was Prince. With a name like Prince, it would have been a waste had he become a claims adjuster or some such nonsense so he used his moniker to its fullest potential and became the manliest son of a bitch to wear frilly antique shirts and purple coats.

Oh Prince.  You will be missed.

 

Purple Rain. When Doves Cry. You know, people haven’t mentioned this as much but my first exposure to his music was when he performed songs on the original Batman (1989) movie soundtrack.  Like the Joker, Prince’s color was purple.

Will there ever be another music legend capable of sporting that much purple?

I don’t know. But let us take a moment of silence.  And then, let us listen to his hits and get funky.

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RIP Patty Duke

Hey 3.5 Readers.

Just wanted to say I was sorry to hear Patty Duke passed away.  She won an Oscar at age 16 for playing Helen Keller and also was the star of The Patty Duke Show.

To my surprise, I just learned she was also Sean Astin’s mom.  I never knew.

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Hulk Hogan vs. Gawker

e59d1b66c3aa6c9bc9e4613b3fde1414d00e6da18c099b3bf5d3d9f8eaa4d26dHey 3.5 brothers.

BQB here.  Have you read the news that Hulk Hogan won $115 million dollars in his lawsuit against Gawker?

Here’s a CNN article about it if you want to catch up.

The brief rundown – Hulk Hogan was caught on tape having sex with a friend’s wife. Gawker somehow (I haven’t cared enough to find out how) got ahold of it and put a clip on their site.

We could probably debate all day long about whether or not the Hulkster is a good guy or an a-hole.  If you’re an 80’s kid, chances are you spent a fair amount of time watching him go toe to toe against the Iron Sheik and you probably have some fond memories of that nonsense.

But then again, he’s had his share of scandals and inappropriate behaviors.

Let’s not get into that.

Instead, let’s get into what this suit means…we are bloggers after all…not at the level that Gawker is at but still, we have to remember to watch our P’s and Q’s lest we end up with a lawsuit of our own.

I’ll bring it down to a debate question – Do you 3.5 readers think a sex tape is newsworthy or does it qualify as something private and not necessary for the public to see?

Personally, I fall on the latter side of this question.  No one needs to see the Hulkomaniac go at it, brother.

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Pop Culture Mini-Mysteries with Informant Zero – What is Mr. T’s Real Name?

Salutations 3.5 Readers,

Informant Zero

Informant Zero

Informant Zero here, reporting from my nondescript lair deep beneath the Anything Goes Club.

Through Attorney Donnelly, Bookshelf Q. Battler and I have reached an agreement.

Every Wednesday, I’ll post a Mini-Mystery, a short question about entertainment.

Doing so will allow Detective Hatcher to ramble off course from the questions BQB asks him but still get your inquiries about Hollywood answered.

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION

In the 1980’s, Mr. T was a big brawny fan favorite.  As BA Baracus, he was the A-Team’s muscle.  Sporting layers upon layers of gold jewelry, he became a cult icon and even had his own Saturday morning cartoon show.

As Clubber Lang, he delivered an upsetting defeat to Rocky Balboa in Rocky III.  Rocky learned the hard way that complacency is a surefire path toward defeat.

The mystery at hand?

What is Mr. T’s real name?

Tweet your answers to @bookshelfbattle or leave them in the comments below.  I will return next Wednesday to provide the answer and a new mystery.

So long, 3.5 readers and remember:

The truth is not as hidden as you might think.

Do you have a question about entertainment?  Whether it’s about Hollywood, celebrity gossip, TV, movies, books, music etc. drop a dime to @bookshelfbattle  

BQB might assign it to Jake or Informant Zero, depending on who’s available.

If you’ve got a book or blog, it will be plugged, subject to Attorney Donnelly’s approval.

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