Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, dudes. And even though I totally just reminded you, you’re going to wait until Feb. 14th at 6 pm to get some tired, left over card and a box of stale candy from the discount bin at the drug store because that’s all they will have left.
So, I’m here to help. Even if you screw up your gift giving responsibilities, you can still check my blog, and recite some love poetry with the help of my main man, Bill Shakespeare.
“To Mac, or Not to Mac? That is the Question.”
Shakespeare was the most romantic dude of his day, which, alright, was pretty easy, since he lived in an age where people thought bathing was optional.
Alright. SCENARIO – You get home on Valentine’s Day. Your lady love is all dressed up, waiting for you to get your romance on, and what do you do? You’ve got nothing. You’ve got one of those M and M Dispensers where the cartoon M and M men are doing something hilarious. But it’s not enough for this woman, because, I don’t know, what, does she think she’s the Queen of England or something? Why is your woman not cool enough that she can’t just appreciate a good M and M dispenser? Sheesh.
Alright, anyway, all you do is lay out the Romeo and Juliet action:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That her maid art far more fair than she:
– William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
I’m just going to say it. Women like drama. Ok some women do. Not all. Let’s not use sweeping generalizations. Some like to have all kinds of attention and have the focus be on them.
What was Bill saying in this scene? He’s having Romeo tell Juliet, “Hey, Juliet, you’re hot like the sun, and you’re such a hot sun that you’re hotter than the moon. The moon’s got nothing on you baby.”
You can just skip the poem altogether and just tell your lady, “You’re hotter than the moon.” Or, just pick a gal she hates. Her sister. Your next door neighbor. The dame she complains about from work. Just be all like, “Baby you are way hotter than Becky from Accounting.”
Actually, don’t do that. Then she’ll just accuse you of checking out Becky from Accounting.
The point is – Bill Shakespeare can get you chicks. So keep following and I’ll tell you how.