Movie Review – Overlord (2018)

WTF.  Literally, WTF?

BQB here with a review of “Overlord.”

I tried to do a good dead, 3.5 readers.  I took an old relative of mine to the movies.  He picked Overlord.  Sounds good to me.  On the way he’s talking about the Normandy invasion during WWII (i.e. Operation Overlord i.e. D-Day.)  He’s a history buff after all.

Suddenly, it dawns on me he doesn’t realize what he’s walking into.  I tell him this isn’t just a World War II movie.  It’s a zombie WW2 movie.  He is disappointed but decides to give it a shot.

All I can say is, “Meh.”

The movie starts out like it was written by a high schooler who saw a few WW2 movies and brought together all of the tropes and cliches.  It’s all exceedingly woke.  Bokeem Woodbine is the commander barking orders at everyone…fine for today but historically accurate?  Probably not.  Then again it’s a horror fantasy and it probably says a lot about our terrible past that in a movie about the dead coming back to life, a black man ordering around white men in the 1940s is the most unbelievable part of the film.

NOTE: Yeah, don’t get upset 3.5 readers.  I’m glad we fixed all that.  I’m just saying, this is a woke version of the 1940s that didn’t exist at the time.

Back to the review.  The first half of the film is spent watching our heroes crash and wander about the French countryside, evading enemy attacks and mines and shit.  For awhile I felt like Dr. Malcolm in “Jurassic Park.”  “Uh, you do intend to have zombies in your zombie movie don’t you?”

Eventually, they give you a glimpse of potential zombie-ism but that’s just because someone must have picked up the script and said, “Jesus, we can’t bill this as a zombie film and leave the audience jerking off for an hour.”

Finally, our heroes discover a secret underground bunker where Nazi scientists are conducting experiments to turn humans into zombies i.e. soldiers that can last a thousand years or as long as how long they hoped Hitler’s reich would be.

Oddly, the bunker has lax security.  The heroes move between the bunker and the attic of a French house with reckless abandon.  It belongs to a young woman who gets to boss everyone around because again, this is super woke 1940s.

Here’s where I hate to dump on the film.  When we finally get to the zombies, there is some scary shit.  Scenes that will scare you and make you fear for our heroes’ safety.

It just makes you wonder why they didn’t bring that all up in the beginning because the overall problem is that the writers couldn’t decide if they wanted to do a straight up war movie or a horror movie and in the end, they don’t do either well.

It’s hard to criticize because I think the point was to make a crappy B horror movie but still…when you bill this as a zombified war movie, don’t make me wait all day to see the zombies.

STATUS:  Borderline shelf-worthy although honestly, this is a movie I have no interest in ever seeing again and if you miss it, you aren’t missing much.  It had potential and they blew it.  Sadly, somewhere out there is a WW2 Nazi scientist experiment gone wrong horror movie that would reel us in and scare the shit out of us…but this is not it and now because of this movie it will probably not be made.

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Self-Publishing Seems Like an Uphill Battle

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

So here’s what surprised me about self-publishing.

I never thought my books would take off overnight and turn me into an instant millionaire.

I am surprised that there’s so little interest in them.

Call me naïve but I just figured, wow, the Internet, you know?  You put your book on Amazon and Amazon is checked by zillions of people so someone searching for a topic related to your book so just by pure chance there should be at least a hundred bucks worth of purchases right there.

100 purchases at .99 cents a piece?  Is that a lot?  I don’t know.  Is it a lot in comparison to the millions of people who go on to Amazon constantly?

It’s like being the guy that sells oranges on the side of the road.  At least 5 people out of the 1000 who drive past you will buy an orange.

I don’t know.  I’m just surprised because I haven’t made enough money to count on the fingers on my right hand yet.

Am I complaining or being a crybaby?  Yes, though that’s not the intention.  I guess I just thought Amazon was the ultimate tuna filled ocean and if I dipped my net into it, surely just by random luck I’d cash the occasional fish.

Do I need 100 bucks?  No.  Would 100 bucks change my life?  No.  I’m just surprised I’ve barely made a couple bucks.

During my recent giveaway, I did give out roughly 75 free books so I guess that’s cool.  I hope people liked them.

It’s a little frustrating and makes me wonder if it is worth it to continue but…who am I kidding?  I couldn’t stop writing if I tried.

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I Haven’t Played Red Dead Redemption 2 Yet

ME: Oh boy! I just got Red Dead Redemption 2!  I can’t wait to play it!

RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2: Please enjoy the next two hours of downloads, updates and installations.  Feel free to stay up late to play or just play tomorrow.

Sigh.  For a guy from the plug and play generation, this is most annoying.

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When People Ask You to Vote on Social Media

Voting is important but chances are, if you were going to vote you decided to do so long ago and not because some dummy who thinks he/she is the second coming of Christ because they asked you to vote on Twitter or Facebook.

Remember when people write 5,000 posts urging you to vote, they mean they want you to vote for their candidates. If you vote against them they will say you are stupid. Both sides do this.

Anyway I’ve had my fill of sanctimonious voting posts so I’m glad this election is over.

Also, if there’s an office where you don’t like either candidate then write in Uncle Hardass.

Does Confidence Come From Within or Does It Have to Be Backed Up?

3.5 readers, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but our 45th POTUS has a rather high opinion of himself.  Love him or hate him, that self-confidence has helped him win.

Perhaps it is easy for him to be that uber confident.  He was born into great wealth and used it to make more…something most of us will never be able to do.

Then again, if he’d been born poor and only became say, a lowly insurance salesman, something tells me he’d be able to sell tons of insurance policies and make bank for himself.

So I don’t know.  People tell me I should try to be confident but I feel like I don’t have much to back it up.

Do you think, for example, if a man who, to riff on Chris Farley, lived in a van down by the river, were to walk into a bar and speak confidently and highly of himself…do you think he’d be able to convince a hot babe to join him in his van down by the river?

Or, would he need something to back his confidence up?  Perhaps if he had a mansion he could invite the hot babe to, then he’d have no problem.

Perhaps the greatest part of confidence is knowing that if the opportunity you’re chasing doesn’t work out, another will be around in 5 minutes.

Thus, if you haven’t gotten it on in years, you’re going to seem desperate to that hot babe at the bar.  But if you get it regular, then you’ll have like a “Hey baby, take it or leave it” attitude that ironically, may very well intrigue said hot babe.

Personally, I think confidence isn’t a bluff but rather is a state of being obtained by being able to back up what you say and do.  I don’t think Trump would say half the things he does if he didn’t know that he had mad cash to hire lawyers to protect him from lawsuits and if his business is adversely affected then he still has plenty of dough.  Meanwhile, if you’re the manager of a shoe store like Al Bundy, you’re probably going to keep quiet as you need the last 5 bucks in your wallet for a pizza.

That’s my two cents.  Discuss.

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Movie Review – Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)

Scaramouche, 3.5 readers. Scaramouche indeed.

BQB here with a review of “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

As a young man, Farrokh Bulsara had a ridiculous, almost supernatural and unwavering level of confidence in himself.  Where most of us reach our late teens and early twenties and decide selling out our dreams in exchange for financial stability is the safest way to go, Farrokh, who later changes and embraces his new name, Freddie Mercury, has talent and believes in himself intensely.

All he needs is an opportunity and he finds it in the form of a struggling band.  College students Brian May, Roger Taylor and John Deacon are on the rocks and about to call it quits when Freddie confidently sings a few notes in front of them and the rest is history.

Freddie is a showman’s showman and the front man to end all front men.  As Queen’s star rises, he engages the audience, gets them involved, makes them feel like he is singing to all of them individually.  He goes to war with the music industry establishment, fighting the good fight to convince them that his rock opera style (music that tells stories) will be a hit.

Comedian Mike Myers has a cameo as Ray Foster, a music industry big shot who tells Freddie his 6 minute song “Bohemian Rhapsody” sucks and will never make it.  This is ironic, given the fact that Myers, in his 1990s movie, “Wayne’s World,” introduced Queen’s music to a whole new young generation.  I can tell you I had never heard of Queen until Mike and Co. started banging their heads to Bohemian Rhapsody in their car.

Freddie struggles with demons, both in the music industry and in his personal life.  He adores Mary Austin, the love of his life, but it can never be because he’s bisexual.  Worse, as he gains fame and fortune, he collects a contingent of hangers-on who feed his ego, urging him to indulge all of his vices – rampant, indiscriminate sex and drugs, drugs and more drugs.

His cross to bear is that he believes himself to be a genius (right in many ways) and so wants to hear he is right no matter what, even when he is wrong.  He wants to hear non-stop that he is  and wonderful and special and there are plenty of yes men who tell him this but this leads to behavior that ruins his life.  He is better off with his bandmates, who are his family.  They clash and fight but they also tell him the hard truth – that he needs to clean himself up, get away from drugs, find a solid relationship instead of a different sex partner every day and so on.

This is a breakthrough role for Rami Malek who, for years, I recognized as a familiar face, but never learned his name until now and like the character in his film, his portrayal is genius.  Hopefully unlike his character, the success won’t go to his head.

Although it is early in the season, I smell Oscar potential.  Few of us will ever experience Mercury’s level of fame, but the lesson may be that a little confidence in ourselves can go a long way towards finding success.  Further, maintaining humility and loyalty will help us keep that success once it is achieved.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

 

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Movie Review – Hunter Killer (2018)

It’s a coup!  BQB here with a review of “Hunter Killer.”

A US sub is lost.  Gerard Butler plays a sub captain sent with his crew to investigate.  Shenanigans ensue.  The Russian President is taken hostage by his military and if that subversion is successful, well, I don’t want to give it away but suffice it to say the stakes are high and it becomes in America’s best interests to save the Russki Prez.

The investigation mission becomes a rescue mission and it’s action galore.  There are some undertones of Hunt for Red October though this film is all on its own.  I’ll give it to Gerard Butler.  His performance in “300” was great and after that I always thought he was kind of wooden, but he excels here as the captain who earned his stripes the hard way, by working his way up through the ranks as opposed to those who went to officer school and were awarded a high rank without getting their hands dirty.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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My Prices are Insane!

I’m Crazy BQB!  My prices are insane and I’m passing the savings on to you!

Seriously, 3.5 readers.  You just missed my free book promo giveaway, but it’s not too late to get one of my books for 99 cents.  That’s not even a dollar.  You’ll get to keep an entire penny.  What you do with that penny is your business. I don’t know and I don’t want to know.

So check out my Amazon author profile and get yourself a copy of one of my books today…or don’t.  That’s fine.  It’s a free country, so you don’t have to.

 

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Happy Halloween, 3.5 Readers

I’m late in wishing you a Happy Halloween but I hope you had a good one.

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Witch Pickup Lines

It’s that time of year.  You’re attending a Halloween party and you see a fly ass green hunny who you just gots to knock big belt buckled boots with.

Let BQB show you how it’s done with his Top Ten Witch Pickup Lines.

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