The Master of the Romance Novel is getting a divorce. Naturally, the Twittasphere is aghast, with tasteless comments about the irony of a romance writer’s marriage falling apart. Hell, even this jerk face felt the need to say something snarky:
Personally, I say we give the guy a break. I hate to break it to people, but here goes:
Authors make up stuff for a living.
The real world is never as perfect as the fantasy worlds that an author can create. In a make believe world, dudes climb up the sides of Ferris Wheels to impress their lady loves. In the real world, yours truly would not climb up the side of a Ferris Wheel, even if the trifecta of Scarlett Johannson, Charlize Theron, and Katy Perry where waiting for me. I’d totally climb a Merry-Go-Round for them but a Ferris Wheel? Fahgeddabout it.
In fact, here’s an early draft of The Notebook where I was originally considered for Gosling’s part:
RACHEL MCADAMS: Climb up this Ferris Wheel to see me, my love!
ME: Um, no thank you.
RACHEL MCADAMS: But it will be a great expression of your love for me!
ME: That looks pretty high. I can love you just as well from down here.
RACHEL MCADAMS: If I hook up with another man, will you pine half your life away for me until I see your picture in the newspaper and find you again?
ME: Um…Jesus, that sounds like a lot of work. No, no, probably not. You’re cool and all, but you know…other fish in the sea and everything.
See? Real life is never as good as the fantasy that an author can create. And we WANT those authors to create fantasy worlds to distract us from the drab realties of the world.
So before people gang up on Sparks, consider the following:
1) George Lucas is not really a Jedi.
2) Stephanie Meyer and Anne Rice are not vampires.
3) John Grisham has never been an attorney in the wrong place at the wrong time who accidentally discovers the wrong file and now all the bad guys are chasing him.
4) Michael Crichton never made a dinosaur.
5) Shakespeare was never the Prince of Denmark.
6) Suzanne Collins never fought in a futuristic, no-holds barred kid vs. kid reality show.
7) Hugh Howey doesn’t live in an underground silo.
8) Steven King never went insane while working as the Winter caretaker of a haunted inn.
9) Charles Dickens was never visited by three Christmas ghosts.
10) Pierce Brown has never lived on Mars.
11) James Patterson has never been an African American Detective
12) George RR Martin is not a knight in an enchanted land of magic and wonder
13) Orson Scott Card has never fought an intergalactic race of bug aliens
14) Thomas Harris is not a cannibal
15) Ray Bradbury was not a Martian.
So honestly, folks – if writers have to limit their writing to things they have done, then we won’t have much to read, will we?
Sure, there’s plenty of irony and room to make jokes, but when I see the comments people are making like “I can’t trust his romance novels again” etc. – I mean, come on…the guy just lost his marriage, people, you don’t need to attack his career too.
Bookshelf Battle 