Daily Archives: November 15, 2015

Undesiredverse: Wanted – Reblogged

Hey 3.5 readers,shutterstock_120849055

This morning I reblogged all 13 chapters of Undesiredverse: Wanted, along with little captions as to what’s going on.

I hope you’ll check them out and give me some feedback – good, bad, or indifferent, it’s all welcome.

There’s a tendency for posts to get buried in blogs, so if you want to read this in a stable place, it also has a home on Wattpad.  If you’re one of my 3.5 Wattpad readers, please take a look, vote, comment etc.

Thank you nerds.  Stay nerdy.  And please comment, even if your comment is “you suck and should hang your head in shame for darkening the Internet with your stupidity.”

Thanks Uncle Hardass.  You know how to get to the point.

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Undesiredverse: Wanted – Chapter 13

We get a glimpse into Voss’ darker side, namely that he’s addicted to “Huff” a drug that requires him to take it in through a device that makes him, as Jones puts it, “look like a space fighter pilot with sleep apnea.”

Voss interrupts his indulgence to talk to the mystery woman, but her responses are either frustrating or funny, depending if you’re Voss or Jones.

Bookshelf Battle

Halminotrin. Street name – huff. That stuff will grow hair on your chest and turn it curly, let me tell you. I kept a slab of it in a plastic bag in the glove compartment. I broke off a small pebble, crushed it into the tray of my vape-o-matic inhalator, mixed in some bottled water and presto, put the mask on my face, hit the on button and presto, I was ready to trip balls.

The inhalator chugged away. I sniffed in the goodness. It made me feel light. Airy. Happy even.

“You’re really going to do that now?” Jones asked.

“I can’t think of a better time to do it,” I said, my voice muffled by my apparatus. “I’ve got an edge that needs to be taken off, my friend.”

“You couldn’t just do some jumping jacks?”

I pulled the mask up, just a bit off my mouth so…

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Undesiredverse: Wanted – Chapter 12

Speaking of plans, our duo didn’t have one in the event that our mystery woman falls off the ship in the ensuing struggle.

Voss improvises.

Bookshelf Battle

I was free falling.  Twenty-five thousand feet and plummeting over primo real estate.  Beings paid good money to get this kind of view but they were usually aboard sightseeing ships.  Between the spotlights, the city lights, and the incessantly blinking advertising boards below, I could barely see what I was doing.

Sourcemind aka Ninety-five was nowhere to be found.  He was so heavy that his burnt out carcass made a beeline to the planet below.  My mystery woman, on the other hand, was a bit of a waif.  Tall, skinny, yet curvy in all the right places.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”  Jones shouted.

“Improvising!  Get down there!”

Jonesy abided.  The Star Streaker roared past me on a vertical course.  I aimed myself in the general direction of my quarry, but I needed some help.

The LaMonza Corporation’s CTK Sparkmatic Attack Cord…

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Undesiredverse: Wanted – Chapter 11

Jonesy is the brains of the operation.

He’s rigged up a cable attached on one end to the ship’s battery, the other to an intensely strong magnet that Voss needs to launch at Sourcemind/Ninety-Five’s chassis.

The goal is to fry the metal monster’s circuits…but will it work?

Plans don’t always go to…well, plan.

Bookshelf Battle

Hyperion Bay. Malostet’s most picturesque tourist spot. Fireworks erupted in bursts every color of the rainbow overhead as I popped open the hatch. I climbed up onto the roof of the rickety old ship, watching my footing carefully.

Sourcemind soared across the city skyline. His hostage remained passed out over Ninety-Five’s shoulder, secured only by a metal hand. My pilot kept pace, staying a safe distance behind.

“What the hell is this thing?” I asked Jones through my Sen Pen relay as I stared at a metal bolt with a flat, round disc at the end. It was attached to a long length of cable that ran down the hatch and into the ship.

“An amantonov magnet,” Jones answered. “Strongest in the Known Universe.”

I loaded it into my harpoon gun. I always travel with one. You never know when you might spot a wild kamaratox dragon. Their hides fetch…

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Undesiredverse: Wanted – Chapter 10

Our dynamic duo are about to write the poor kidnapped woman off in favor of heading back to Earth to collect a modest profit after various governments collect their crippling taxes.

Alas, conscience pangs set in…

Bookshelf Battle

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Jones was at ease in the pilot’s seat, monitoring an array of buttons, lights, and knobs. 

“Why would Sourcemind kidnap a female for?”  he asked.  “He doesn’t even have a…”

“That’s what I said.”

Good ole Jonesy.  A better friend you’ll never find though don’t tell him I said that.  It’ll go right to his head.  Speaking of, his was typical of the Vek species.  It was big, bulbous and sat atop a skinny, green, three foot tall body, which was rarely, if ever, covered.  He wasn’t big on clothing and didn’t need to be, because he was asexual.

In layman’s terms, he had no junk to speak of.  Even so, it wouldn’t have killed him to put on pants, but I’ve learned to pick my battles.

Izok’s head sat on the control panel, his eyes still open, it was almost as…

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Undesiredverse: Wanted – Chapter 9

If the Cabal exists, and I’m not saying it does, but if it did, its Consigliere would be none other than the tackily dressed Chazz Fitzwalla.

In between bounties, Voss has been carrying out a vendetta against the Cabal for years, taking out their agents, destroying their various operations.

In short, Voss is a real pain in the ass for the Cabal’s leader, the Klapnar Di Grondi Rebus.

Fitzwalla, having suffered disfiguring burns at Voss’ hand, isn’t a fan either.

Will Jones come through or did he go back for the sandwich?

Bookshelf Battle

Alien Jones to the rescue. Alien Jones to the rescue.

I ran out onto the roof top.  Casinos.  Hotels.  Strip clubs.  They all lit up the night sky with illuminated billboards, each more tacky than the next.  The only lights I wanted to see were attached to my ride. 

They were nowhere to be seen.

“You’re fired,”  I said.

“Oh good,”  Jones said into my ear.  “Now I can sue you for all that backpay you owe me.”

“I ask you to do one thing!”

“Relax,”  Jones said.

A dozen shai warriors poured out of the door.  Serious players, decked out in battle suits, packing some serious heat.

“So boys,”  I said as I threw up my hands, “Don’t suppose there’s anyway we could talk about this?”

“Yes, Mr. Voss,”  a voice called up from the stairwell.  “Let us talk about this.”

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Undesiredverse: Wanted – Chapter 8

Alien Jones is faced with a vexing proposition – should he throw away a perfectly good sandwich to come to Voss’ aid?

Bookshelf Battle

“Jonesy, I’m coming in hot!!!”

“What?”  my trusty pilot asked.

“GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE NOW!!!”

“Gadzooks, what did you do?”

I stormed into the harem.  Hanging from the ceiling by a steel rod was an ancient tapestry of the noted shai philosopher, Sufros.  I ripped it down, tore the rod off and shoved it between the door handles. 

Just in time.  The second goon wave banged on the door, shaking it furiously.  The prostitutes, er, I mean ladies, were aghast. 

“Which way out?”  I asked.

No answer.  They were all either too loyal to or too scared of their employers to say anything…except for one.  She was a lovely, turquoise skinned zeltu who either robbed a basketball store or was incredibly endowed.  A ruby was embedded in her forehead which unfortunately for her, was a symbol in her culture that…

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Undesiredverse: Wanted – Chapter 7

Voss takes out six henchmen and punches a banji beast in the face.

I know. You wish you were him too.

Bookshelf Battle

Six against one.  The odds were against me.  I held my hands up.  The goon squad drew their hand cannons and approached.

“Screw it,”  I thought. “I’d rather be dead than surrender.”

Bounty hunting.  If you’re looking for work, I don’t recommend it.  God knows I wish I’d of gotten into a nice vocational training program but I’m stuck with my career choice now, and if I can’t talk you out of it, you’d better get your own arsenal.

Don’t just get one.  Carry it with you.  I did.  Unlucky for me, it was all neatly stored within my duster sitting on the couch on the opposite side of the room.

I was going to have to do this bare handed.

“OK boys,”  I said as I clasped my hands behind my neck.  “Let’s get this over with.”

They…

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Undesiredverse: Wanted – Chapter 6

Sourcemind wasn’t entirely up front about what he wanted from Tau. It wasn’t a “thing.” It was a woman.

And once the deal is done, Roman is on his own against Tau’s comrades, who are displeased to say the least.

Bookshelf Battle

“You humans have an odd way of saying thank you,”  Sourcemind said.

“‘Thank you?!’”  I said as I stood up.  “I had him right where I wanted him!”

“From my vantage point it appeared you had a 97.8 % chance of survival,”  Sourcemind explained.  “You came to collect Tau’s head, did you not?”

“Not literally,”  I said.  “I’d of gotten more had I brought him in alive.”

“Semantics.”

“You’ve cost me my glory in the great beyond,”  I said.

“You ridiculous organics and your superstitions,”  Sourcemind said.  “The only thing that happens when you die is that you cease to be.  There is no alternate state to look forward to.” 

Izok was bald so I had no choice but to pick his knogin up by the beard.  Disgusted by the mess, I instantly dropped it.

“Yeesh,”  I…

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Undesiredverse: Wanted – Chapter 5

Tau is a shai, a species of beings who are basically human albinos, with the exception that their eyes are also entirely white, devoid of any retina or expression.

Thus, if eyes are the window to the soul, it’s nearly impossible to tell what a shai is thinking.

When his parents were murdered by the Cabal, Master Ashakti took young Voss into his chaizo (dojo). Voss trained alongside a younger Tau in Umquai, a shai martial art.

Their training requires that if either one is to kill the other, it must only be through a fair duel, lest they forfeit their chance at an afterlife in “The Great Beyond.”

Sourcemind thinks that’s superstitious bullshit and cuts to the chase, so to speak.

Bookshelf Battle

I removed my duster and laid it across a fluffy white couch.  I felt naked without it, even in my black shirt. 

Izok took off his robe to reveal a six pack.  Damn show off.  Made me wish I’d worked out more.

The kubazi spear.  The most deadly of all the ancient, pre-gunpowder weapons.  Two jagged ends, each so sharp they leave you feeling like they’ll slice you to ribbons just by looking at them.  The middle disconnects to form a chain, leaving the weapon to be wielded like a pair of nunchaku or more accurately, a giant flail.  The chain can even be retracted and the weapon broken apart entirely to allow the the user to wield each end as a pair of dual blades.

Long before they discovered space travel, the shai warlords of old reigned supreme over their world with…

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