Daily Archives: January 27, 2019

Are Billionaires Immoral?

Alexandria Ocasio Cortez said this the other day and I thought I’d opine for the sake of my 3.5 readers.

By the way, why is it fair that some blogs have millions of readers while I only have 3.5 readers?  If those blogs would fork over half of their readers, then my blog would be sufficiently read.

I get the point that there are lots of people who are suffering, without help, without hope and so on.

I think the problem is it depends how you look at it.

It’s all a matter of distribution.

Fred the Billionaire is the Owner of Fred’s Burgers.  Does Fred have a billion liquid dollars in his bank account? Probably not.  He probably has a crazy, silly amount that we’d all want to jerk off all over but he probably doesn’t have a billion liquid.

Fred’s burger stores, the buildings, the property they sit on, that’s all worth a billion.  And before you start in on me, yes I’m speaking in general terms. I don’t have all day to get exact figures and do a real serious case study of what an individual billionaire does with his money.  I’m too busy running a blog that is read by 3.5 readers.

Anyway, Fred can’t spend a burger store.  He can’t spend the property the burger store is on.  He could sell it all (lawyers and the government would take a sizeable chunk) but he’d left with a pretty penny, plenty to go yachting on boats full of women like we saw in the Cardi B video, which, I can’t say enough, is my dream.

I’m not saying that anyone should cry Fred a river.  He’s probably got that booty yacht now.

I’m just saying, like, suppose you tax Fred to the point where he becomes a schmuck, earning a low amount like the rest of us.  Why would he bother continuing to run Fred’s burgers?  Why wouldn’t he get a job that just pays a low level like the rest of us?  Why would he put in all the extra hours, why would he take on all that liability?  You’ve taxed Fred to the point where he’s making 40 grand a year now, but he could still get slapped with a 40 million dollar restaurant if one of his customers chokes on a pickle.

These are all examples off the top of my butt but ultimately, it is all about distribution of resources.  The government does what the people can’t turn a profit off of.  Do you think the government would put out a good burger?  No.  The government will give you hamburger product type 1 and there’s no incentive to make it better.  Fred makes his burgers better because you could always go to Pete’s burgers.  Fuck you Fred, Pete makes better burgers.

Fred is a billionaire but a lot of his wealth is tied up in the means of burger production.  He’s still doing fabulous…but you don’t want to tax him to the point where he or his rivals stop making burgers because you don’t want a government burger.

I’m sorry, Commie Millennials, but I just have to stress that you don’t want to go down the Communism road.  Do you think the government would make good Superhero movies? No.  The government does not make good superhero movies.  Hollywood barely makes good movies of any kind.

Do you think Cardi B makes videos with 10,000 booties twerking on a yacht if she ain’t getting paid?  No.

Believe me, I’ve thought about doing things and taking risks that might make me well, I’ve never had an idea that could make me a billion but if I took some risks, purchased some property, started a business, used my last few bucks to pay for business expenses…I might one day turn a profit but the fear that I’d end up destitute is too much so I’m out.

Business people do see their businesses fail all the time.  I’m not saying cry for the businessmen of the world.  I’m just saying, all people who strive toward a goal have a goal in mind they want to achieve.

Honestly, I write because I hope one day it will lead to me owning a booty yacht.  I’ll invite Cardi and friends to twerk on it.  They’ll say no but I’ll hire a Cardi impersonator.  Whatever.

The government could do more to improve quality of life but I think it starts with eliminating waste.  You scoff, but there are all sorts of crazy programs that get ridiculous funding.  The other day I heard about a program to study why lesbians are fat.  Who cares?  Stop spending millions trying to make lesbians skinny.  Everyone loves fat lesbians.  Lesbians love pizza and pussy.  I love pizza and pussy.  There’s never been a government study spending millions trying to change me but they try to change the fat lesbians.  That’s discrimination.

You know where the millions for the fat lesbian study could go?  Text books for kids.  Food for the poor.  Medicine for the poor and sickly.

Every Congressperson before they vote on some shit should ask if there’s a better purpose for that shit.  They don’t because it’s just too easy for the government to demand more shit but the more you do that then eventually, the shit well runs dry.

Thank you for listening 3.5 readers.  I await your comments.

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Movie Review – The Kid Who Would Be King (2019)

Gather around the round table, 3.5 readers, for it is time for a review of “The Kid Who Would Be King.”

Someone call the late, late, late, incredibly late Arthur Pendragon’s agent because that guy is posthumously hot lately.  However, unlike 2017’s Guy Ritchie directed “King Arthur,” this latest flick, as kids’ movies go, is mildly enjoyable.

Let me put it this way.  I don’t think it is destined to become that childhood classic that today’s youth will break out and watch year after year, but for parents, it is something you can take your kid to and your eyes won’t completely glaze over.

Louis Ashbourne Serkis, son of the infamous motion actor Andy (the guy who gets into one of those green suits with ping pong balls over it so computer geeks can turn him into various CGI monsters) stars as Alex, a British boy who attends Dungate Academy.

He and his bestie, Bedders (Dean Chaumoo), are a pair of dweebs who are bullied early and often by cool kids Lance (Tom Taylor) and Kaye (Rhianna Dorris).

While on the run from one such bullying session, Alex hides out in a construction site, only to miraculously locate the accidentally excavated “sword in the stone.”  Only the heir to King Arthur’s throne will be able to remove Excalibur, so when the boy does so, this is a very big deal indeed.

Alas, Alex gets more than just a mere pointy trophy.  He’s now got a duty.  He must save Britain from Morgana, Arthur’s half-sister turned witch (Rebecca Ferguson.)  As early narration informs us, she’s laid low in the bowels of the earth, waiting for a time when mankind has become so divided that she can easily swoop in and take over.  Cue endless number of borderline heavy handed allusions to how everyone on all sides of the political divide need to stop bickering and come together to face any number of threats and dangers coming the world’s way.

As we are also told, Arthur had a knack for turning enemies into allies, a trait that is sorely needed in today’s leadership.  Alex manages to do so with Lance and Kaye, turning his former bullies into his trusty knights.

Other critics have noted that the performances of the various kid actors were somewhat flat.  I mean, you know, they’re kids, so I didn’t really expect any of them to break out as the next Al Pacino.  I felt the kid who played Bedders had an innocent lacky quality, blindly following his buddy and saying naive, “the world is a nice place” type things to motivate Alex, things that only an innocent kid who has yet to be knocked out by the world’s endless “No” machine would believe.

The kid who played Lance comes off as a typical bully and the girl who plays Kaye comes off as his lackey.  Overall, everyone did what they needed to do and I wonder if a flat performance by Serkis might have been the point.  The kid’s character, is, after all, just a normal, average kid.  He isn’t extraordinary.  He’s picked on all the time.  The kid that the whole school loves could easily get everyone behind him.  The kid who gets the snot kicked out of him because kids think that’s a fun thing to do will have the harder challenge to unite his classmates against the forces of evil.

Admittedly though, the film is rather British.  Had it been American, there would have been endless fart jokes, burp jokes, and so on.  One kid would have definitely got kicked in the nads or something.  (Not gonna lie, as an American, I think these additions would have turned the flick into a classic.)  Alas, the Brits prefer to find higher forms of humor I suppose.

The character who truly makes the movie come to life is Merlin.  Sometimes he’s an owl.  Sometimes he’s Sir Patrick Stewart (i.e. the old version of Merlin who is only broken out when the kids aren’t listening and require an adult to drive some sense into them.) Most of the time he’s young Merlin, having taken a teenage form so as to easily blend in while keeping an eye on the kid heroes. Angus Imrie takes that role and not to dump on any of the other kids but if forced to place a bet on which kid has a future in show business, I’d put my money on this one.  His take on Merlin is the main source of laughter in the film – wild eyed and crazy, performing magic spells that require an elaborate series of hand gestures.  By the way, if his take on modern day fast food doesn’t get you to swear off that swill completely, then nothing will.

My one criticism is I did think some of the monsters might have been a little scary for kids, but then again I don’t think this film is meant for the wee ones.  It’s geared toward tweens.  High school kids will scoff.  Toddlers should run for cover.  Anyone in the middle will find it just right.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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