Attack of the Killer Mutant Fish 4 – Trailer

Alright.  After four days, the film is in the can.  God made his masterpiece in seven days.  I made mine in four.

And just in time for Oscar night.

Here’s the trailer:

Ominous music…

MOVIE TRAILER GUY:  This summer…pet store owner Fred Jones is going to feel like a fish out of water…

FRED:  All day long I feed the fish.  I clean the tanks.  I watch them swim around.  I’m tired of the monotony.  I need a change.

MOVIE TRAILER GUY:  He’s a man with a troubled past…

GENERAL SMITH rips off FRED’S stripes.

GENERAL SMITH:  Every last man in your unit was eaten by a killer fish and what did you do?  You ran away like the pathetic, sniveling pansy that you are!  You make me sick!  Get out of my sight!

FRED:  Well, I guess I have nothing to do now but move to my hometown and start up a pet store.  But God as my witness, if I’m ever given the opportunity to save people from fish again, I’ll save every last one of them!

MOVIE TRAILER GUY:  There’s a lot at stake for Fred, and he might lose the love of his life in the process…

FRED’S GIRLFRIEND:  I just feel like you love this stupid pet store more than you love me.

FRED:  Well one of us have to have a job, Fred’s Girlfriend!

(Fred’s Girlfriend stomps out of the store)

FRED:  No!  Wait!  Fred’s Girlfriend!  Come back!

MOVIE TRAILER GUY:  And when a mad scientist enters the mix…

MAD SCIENTIST:  You ignored my warnings to preserve the environment, world!  Now I’ll teach you a lesson by ushering in a new age of mutant fish masters!

(MAD SCIENTIST dumps toxic waste into fish tanks.  Fish become enormous)

FRED:  Thank God I kept this shotgun under my counter just in case I ever have to kill a bunch of murderous fish!

(FRED cocks the gun – shoots at the fish)

FRED’S GIRLFRIEND:  I’m scared, Fred!

FRED:  Just stay behind me, Fred’s Girlfriend!  I’ll keep you safe!

MOVIE TRAILER GUY:  …things are about to get fishy.  Coming soon to a theater near you.

So there you have it.  Now I’m just waiting for Hollywood to back the Brinks Trucks up to my back door and unload all the sweet, sweet cash.

And no, I’m not having trouble coming up with material for this one post a day for a year challenge at all.

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One thought on “Attack of the Killer Mutant Fish 4 – Trailer

  1. […] BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER:  I have always sided with the fish.  Except for one book I wrote and tried to turn into a movie. […]

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