I am thankful for all 3.5 of you, 3.5 readers.
What are you thankful for?
I am thankful for all 3.5 of you, 3.5 readers.
What are you thankful for?
Hey 3.5 readers.
BQB here. I heard something on the radio yesterday and I think it went virtually unnoticed because there was so much else going on in the news.
It was reported that over the past, how many years exactly escapes me, Congress has paid out $15 million in sexual harassment claims. This appears to be bipartisan. Republicans and Democrats alike have a hard time not being gropey gropey.
Sigh. Look dudes. You got out there, you made some fancy speeches, you convinced people in your district you were worth something, you’ve been selected for a powerful club few ever know…I don’t care how old are ugly or disgusting you may look, if you are not able to be like the rest of us and just find a woman who you share a mutually attraction with and politely chat her up, get her number and go out on some dates and slowly and surely convince her your worth doing the hibbitty dibbitty with, then you are not worthy of being a Congressman.
“I’d better grab that ass and hope she doesn’t say something because an unwanted ass grab is the best I can do,” does not speak well of you, your self-confidence and all around means you should step down.
Seriously. I don’t care how disgusting you are. Most of the non-Congressional world is able to obtain consensual sex, so if you can’t obtain consensual sex with the added bonus of being able to say, “Hey baby I’m a Congressman” then you suck. You just really suck and should go stand in the corner and think about what you’ve done.
Oh and also there’s the obvious – women should be able to work for Congress without unwanted hands on their lady parts and 15 million – those are our tax dollars. It seems obvious many of these dudes do this shit because they know Congress will bail them out. Perhaps there needs to be a law that if you pull out your junk in front of a staff member you have to pay the settlement out of your own money. That will cause many zippers to zip up quickly, no doubt.
That’s right. Name a resolution you made in January that pooped out by March. Hey, maybe it isn’t too late to get it done by New Year’s.
Hey 3.5 readers.
As you all know, I am a movie lover. I have no life, so I spent most of my free time watching films. I have nothing but great appreciation for them.
Thus, it is with great sadness I have come to realize that Hollywood is full of terrible, nasty, disgusting perverts…so much so that I am no longer able to watch a film without worrying that the actor on screen might a) be a pervert or b) may have been perved on by a pervert.
Action movie? The woman being saved was probably banged against her will by the action star.
Drama? The dude crying probably forced himself on the other dude that’s crying.
Comedy – when the laughter stopped, the non-consensual sex began.
Movie with a dog as a lead – I’m sorry, but there’s like a 99 percent chance that someone fucked that dog. Look at that dog’s dead eyes. He’s been abused and he did not like it at all, the poor thing. He’s on screen being all like “Freddy the Wonder Pooch Saves the Day!” but then at night he’s taking cold showers and drinking a fifth of vodka just to forget his woes.
So much perversion, 3.5 readers. Every day, a new Hollywood star is alleged to have engaged in perverted activity.
I’m so sad, 3.5 readers. Is there anyone in Hollywood who is not a pervert?
Sigh. This is getting depressing, 3.5 readers.
It’s like everyday now, I learn some celebrity whose work I enjoy is a pervert. So then it’s like, I’ve been inadvertently supporting a pervert all these years by watching his stuff (I didn’t know!) and then I can’t watch more of his stuff because then I’d be knowingly supporting a pervert.
Bill Cosby – the funny man every kid wanted to be their father in the 1980s. Pervert.
Louis CK – This one hit me hard because I was enjoying his stuff now. Plus, he had this whole unique routine. If you ever watched his show, it was about the fragile male psyche and some of the things men experience that the world may not realize – i.e. women complain of body issues but men who are bald and overweight and not handsome feel sad about how hard it is for them to find women. Worse, women assume ugly men are perverts that can’t be trusted….so naturally after years of a show where the gist was don’t assume ugly men are bad, he had to go and turn out to be a bad ugly man. Pervert.
Kevin Spacey – Wowed me in the Usual Suspects, I movie I watched over and over as a kid. That whole scene at the end where he turns out to have been Kaiser Soze all along. Oh sorry. Spoiler alert. I loved House of Cards. Now I guess that’s ruined. I’d invested a lot of time into finding out what will happen to the murderous fictional president Frank Underwood. Apparently, Frank will be done in by Kevin’s perversions. Pervert.
Steven Seagal – Loved his martial arts movies as a kid. He had a move where he’d break the bad guy’s arm and I’d always watch just for that. Pervert.
Harvey Weinstein – I mean, he’s the big pervert that unleashed the floodgates of pervert accusations. He was the man behind the films but still, he made a lot of movies and even now I’m seeing films being released bearing the Weinstein Company logo. His company was behind Pulp Fiction, the film that cemented my love affair with movies. Sigh. Pervert.
I don’t understand the pervyness. It can be hard to be a man. We’re vain and ego driven and we have a little buddy in our pants that craves more sex 24/7 than the world could possibly ever provide. Still, I don’t understand this. I mean, yeah, if you’re not that good looking and suddenly you’re thrust into a world of fame and fortune, I’m sure it can be difficult to be around all of these hot celebrity babes.
Still, come one, surely there will be women who will VOLUNTARILY want to be with a celebrity.
There had to have been a lot of women who wanted to see Louis yank his weenus. There had to have been a lot of women who would have wanted Seagal to unzip his pants. Surely there were grown men (repeat GROWN men) of the gay persuasion who wouldn’t have minded a night with Kevin Spacey. Surely there were women who would have volunteered to get jiggy with Harvey.
Am I right? Maybe I’m wrong. Does fame not always equal free access to voluntary sex? I’ve got to believe that it does and these guys just must be pervs who get off on involuntary perversions, i.e. forcing or coercing someone who isn’t down for it.
As a movie lover, I am sad. It’s like I can’t watch a movie now without wondering whether the star is a pervert.
Hey 3.5 readers.
So, ever since Harvey Weinstein was exposed as a pervert, it’s got me thinking about how hard it must be to get chicks, even as a super rich and powerful movie tycoon.
Harvey’s fat. Not good looking at all. But he was rich and powerful and had the ability to make the dreams of aspiring actors and actresses come true.
I guess my question is this – why did he find it necessary to sexually harass women?
Call me crazy, but I feel like even if you’re fat and ugly and not good looking, if you’re a big time Hollywood honcho, aren’t there still going to be some young, hot babes who would like to be with you voluntarily? I feel like there would be some hot chicks who would be like, “Yeah he’s fat and ugly but he’s rich and can fly me to Paris whenever I want and buy me stuff and I can live in his nice house and so on.”
I don’t know. That was the whole point of this blog, to one day become such a rich, well-known writer that hot chicks out of my league would overlook my fatness and ugliness and voluntarily be with me. If that’s not the case, if you can get super rich and powerful and famous and still need to harass hot chicks then screw it.
Then again, maybe it wasn’t about just harassing hot chicks. Maybe it was about harassing famous chicks…i.e. scoring the chick the whole world wants to score with. I have no idea. I don’t know what was going on in Harvey’s mind.
If you’re a rich and famous person, well you probably aren’t reading this blog but on the off chance you are, tell me, do hot chicks overlook your fatness and ugliness to voluntarily be with you?
By the way before anyone gets bent out of shape, I realize it is wrong to sexually harass anyone ever for any reason. I’m just wondering why Harvey felt he had to do so when I feel like lots of hot chicks would have liked to have been with him voluntarily just because they like rich, powerful dudes.
Sigh. I don’t want to be a wet blanket, especially because I love Marvel movies and Thor is the best of the solo hero standalone flicks.
But…yep, there was an ancient Norse religion. Odinism. Asatru. Call it what you will, but just as the Romans had Apollo and the Greeks had Zeus, so too did the Scandinavians of old have Odin, Thor, Loki and Hela.
Thor was a God worshipped by many. So I mean, yeah, if Marvel were to create a new hero called “The Amazing Jesus” and have him fight the Hulk and run around with Capt. America and Spiderman, people would be upset.
But Odinism was replaced by Christianity. I don’t know the whole history but my limited understanding is that the Romans took over Europe. The Europeans were forest dwelling tree people and ironically, were considered savage barbarians by the Romans.
Eventually the Roman Empire converted from its multi-God system to Christianity, becoming the Holy Roman Empire and Christianity spread throughout Europe.
So I don’t know…there have been movies about the Gods of old and they are interesting but its just interesting how history plays out. Some religions remain and it would be offensive to have superhero movies about them. Others can turn the Gods of religions into cartoon characters.
I have some Scandinavian blood in me but I mean, it doesn’t bother me. If I were a full blooded Asatru worshipping Thor lover though, yeah, I feel like I’d be sad to see Thor being a caricature.
Oh well. Just a random thought. Again, I’m not saying dump Thor. Of all the Avengers, he has the best storyline, probably because it was written by ancient Norwegians and not Marvel.
Yup. It’s Halloween so we know what that means. Crazy SJWs are flipping their shit over the fact that someone, somewhere in the world might wear a costume for one night for a few hours that might offend somebody, somewhere.
Redbook published this article, breathlessly warning of the dangers of the epic sadness and woe that could spread across the globe if parents allow white daughters to dress like Polynesian princess Moana this Halloween.
First, the article is an example of what is wrong with journalism i.e. the drumming up of a faux controversy. I mean, it makes it out as if there are a legion of little girls dressing up like Polynesian princesses and an equally large legion of Polynesian girls who are beside themselves with misery and woe over this. I mean, maybe, just maybe there’s one Halloween party somewhere where this could happen, but is it a scenario worth an entire article? Probably not.
Second, the article contains this quote:
The original article, written by Sachi Feris, discusses how her white daughter was torn between dressing as Elsa, from Frozen, or the titular character from Moana. Feris expresses concern that while an Elsa costume might reinforce notions of white privilege, dressing up as Moana is essentially cultural appropriation — the act of reducing someone’s culture to stereotypes, and thereby belittling it.
So if you’re a little white girl, don’t dress up like Elsa because Elsa has white privilege but also don’t dress up like Moana because you aren’t Polynesian at all.
In other words…don’t dress up like a character that has any kind of ethnicity? So…if you’re a white kid, just don’t dress up like a human. Be an inanimate object. Go as a rock. Better yet, just stay home, you little cracker devils. Your ancestors got all the candy for far too long and it’s time you took a breather.
You know I’ll meet the SJWs half-way and realize that yeah, when there are tons of other costumes out there, a costume that calls for a white kid to change ethnicity isn’t the greatest.
Then again, if a white girl just wants to wear the Moana dress, isn’t she just idolizing Moana? Isn’t a little white girl so in awe of a non-white person that she wants to emulate and be just like her hero? That non-white people can be role models for white people to look up to and be like, isn’t more of that what we want?
Plus, if they harangue the costume companies enough, won’t they discontinue the costume? And then what will all the Polynesian girls who want to dress like Moana wear?
Do I think kids should be changing their skin color to become another ethnicity for a Halloween costume? No. Is it ok if a white kid wears a costume worn by a non-white character? I mean, I can listen to why you might find that offensive, but I’d counter that if you are white and feel this strongly, then run to your closet immediately and throw away your kimono and your Hawaiian shirt.
Shit. I’m not Hawaiian and my goal in life is to move to a tropical environment and wear nothing but a vast array of brightly colored Hawaiian shirts with parrots and palm trees on them. Oh well. #WorseThanHitler
Cultural appropriation. It’s when you venture outside of your culture. Yup. We used to be segregated. Whites stayed on their part of town, blacks on theirs, different ethnicities to their own. Then the SJWS of the 1960s called on us to become the melting pot. Everyone mix and mingle. Date outside your race. Get ideas from other cultures. If culture X has good food, eat it. If culture Y has good booze, drink it. If culture Z has good music, listen to it. If culture A has cool clothes, wear them.
Ironically, today’s SJWs, though I don’t think they realize it, are returning us to segregation. Everyone stick to your own culture and never let your cultures mingle with other cultures lest you offend.
With all that being said, here is my handy list of what your kid SHOULD NOT be wearing this Halloween season, lest they offend someone, somewhere:
Smurf – No. Offensive to short people with oxygen flow problems that make their faces blue.
Devil – Offensive to Satanists.
Witch – Offensive to Wiccans.
Batman – Offensive to Bats and/or grown men still grieving over the loss of their parents.
Superman – Offensive to intergalactic travelers. You may only wear this costume if the lack of a red sun gives you super powers.
Wonder Woman – Are you an Amazon? No? Stop being worse than Hitler.
Spooky Ghost – Offensive to spirits who are trapped here and unable to move on.
Zombie – Offensive to dead people. Many kids have dead Grandmas who have been in the ground a few years and look like zombies. Stop offending kids with dead Grandmas.
Cat – Only if you are a cat.
Pirate – Offensive to 17th Century sea-dwelling criminals.
The Little Mermaid – Offensive to mermaids.
Mickey Mouse – Only if you are a mouse that walks like a man.
Donald Duck – Offensive to pantsless ducks with anger management issues everywhere.
Goofy – Only if you are a dog that walks like a man.
Nerd – offensive to smart people.
Caveman – Offensive to those with evolutionary issues.
Mike Myers – Offensive to escaped mental patients who want to kill their sisters or Canadian comedians who had a good run in the 1990s, depending on which version you go with.
Hippy – Offensive to 1960s protesters. Only wear if you were at Woodstock. Must carry photographic proof of you at Woodstock.
Bunny – Offensive to anyone with big ears.
Sexy nurse – Offensive to people who actually put the time in to get a nursing degree.
Iron Man – Offensive to billionaires turned super heroes.
Spiderman – Offensive to nerds who have been bitten by radioactive spiders.
The Incredible Hulk – Offensive to people with anger management issues.
Nun – Offensive to Catholics.
Shaggy from Scooby Doo – Offensive to drug addicts.
Belle – Offensive to French women.
Beast – Offensive to hairy French men.
Wolverine – offensive to people who have had a complex surgery to have their bones replaced with super strong steel.
Catwoman – Offensive to cats and catwomen.
That Costume Where One Friend is the Front of the Horse and the Other Friend is the Back – Offensive to horses everywhere
That Costume Where the Husband Wheres the Plug and the Wife Wears the Slot – Assumes that sex is the only benefit of marriage. Very offensive. Also offends people who use electricity.
Count Dracula – Promulgates the stereotype that all Romanians want to suck your blood. Recent studies indicate 99.999 percent do not.
Frankenstein – Offensive to people who are comprised of body parts taken from other dead bodies.
The Mummy – Offensive to Egyptians.
The Wolfman – Offensive to hairy people.
Clown – Let me see your Child Party Entertainer’s license buddy.
Flapper – Were you alive in the 1920s? Only Great Grandma can wear this shit.
Ancient Knight – I’m going to have to see the Queen do that thing where she touches your shoulders with the sword.
Harry Potter – I need to see your Hogwart’s diploma. Otherwise, offensive to actual wizards who worked hard to earn their wands.
Hobo – Do you want to make rail yard dwellers cry?
People, really, there’s no costume you could possibly wear that will not offend anyone. I mean, you could go as a rock, but I’m telling you, you are just begging for a geologist to come up and give you a piece of his mind.
So just stay home, wear clothing consistent with those of your ancestors and only YOUR ancestors, and watch TV and eat candy that you buy and pay for yourself. Thank you.
Hey 3.5 readers.
Gotta admit, I’m feeling the misery lately. Actually, my alter ego, the Alleged Man is feeling it. I’m a fictional character so I feel awesome all the time even after I battle the Yeti, zombies, aliens, chupacabras and werewolves.
Anyway…Arthur Schopenhauer was a curmudgeonly old German prick in the 1800s and the first Western philosopher to incorporate a serious study of Buddhism into his work.
I’m not expert but my general understanding of Buddhism is “We’re all fucked so be happy and don’t let it get you down” whereas Shopenhauer seemed more like, “We’re all fucked and only the sane people are down about it.”
Here’s what he said about “the misery of life:”
“In my 17th year, I was gripped by the misery of life, as Buddha had been in his youth when he saw sickness, old age, pain and death. The truth was that this world could not have been the work of an all loving Being, but rather that of a devil, who had brought creatures into existence in order to delight in their sufferings.”
What do you think, 3.5 readers? Was the world created by an all loving being that gave us life to make us happy, or was it created by a devil who delights in giving us hope only to take it away?
I can tell you when I turned 30 I began to feel hope fade. There seemed to be less time…it seemed like I was more locked into choices I’d made, even bad ones. There was less time to fix mistakes.
Ironically, as I reach 40 (38 soon to be 39) I feel like I was a baby when I was 30. There was more time to pull out a few fixes but instead I wasted a lot of time on depression and lamentation.
Sigh. I bet when I turn 50 I’ll feel like I was a baby at 40. At any rate, the older we get, the less hope we have. To be 20 is to have an endless supply of options. You can still believe you’ll be anything because it is still possible. Now, not so much…and I’m not even getting into the effects aging has on your body, your looks, your ability to physically feel good and do what you want.
It’s pessimistic to be sure but old Artie has a point. It is hard sometimes to not feel like this world wasn’t created by a devil who delights in watching us move from thinking the world is our oyster where anything is possible in our youth to middle and old age where we lose hope and begin to feel like the world is our prison and a lack of time limits us from fixing past mistakes and re-writing past wrongs.
What say you 3.5?
Hey 3.5 readers.
So, you’ve heard it before, but don’t look at the eclipse. You’ll go blind and then you won’t be able to read my fantastic blog. I can’t afford to lose any readers so none of you are allowed to go blind.
Apparently this eclipse is a once in a lifetime thing yet I didn’t muster up enough interest to get a pair of special glasses or make some sort of device with a cardboard box or whatever the heck how that works.
Anyway, be careful. Save your eyes so you can read this wonderful blog.