PRO: He’d learn how to dance a popular 1970s dance.
CON: None that I can see.
PRO: He’d learn how to dance a popular 1970s dance.
CON: None that I can see.
3.5 readers, a very important discussion today.
Should hamsters be allowed to marry?
Specifically…should hamsters have the right…
This is truly the great question of our age. And I don’t ask it lightly. Frankly, I dont know where all the hamsters in the pet store are coming from, but I can only assume that all those hamsters are the result of some very hardcore hamster fucking and I am tired of these hamsters living in sin, having all kinds of freaky hamster sex without exchanging vows and making it all official in the eyes of God.
Further, and please, stop being a bigot, folks, OK? It’s 2018, so I really think that if we are going to let straight hamsters get married then we should let gay hamsters get married to. It’s time, folks. OK? It’s time.
If hamsters want to marry outside of their species, I’m fine with it. If a hamster wants to marry a duck or a mongoose or something, that’s fine. Who am I to tell a hamster that he or she can’t love a penguin?
And I’m not going to tell a hamster that he or she can’t love an inanimate object either, so if a hamster wants to marry a deck of playing cards or a bag of chips or a tasteful rendering of Wayne Newton, bare chested and riding a unicorn into outer space, who am I to say no?
Now, you might wonder, how could a hamster fuck an elephant or a goat or a donkey or a bucket of extra crispy fried chicken or a roll of wet paper towels. While I applaud your inquisitive mind, I remind you that this is none of your business. You don’t need to know. Hamsters aren’t taking notes about your sexual habits so you don’t need to take notes about theirs, OK? Sheesh. 2018 people.
Anyway, please let me know your thoughts on the important issue of hamster sex and/or more importantly, hamster marriage and whether or not you support hamster matrimony.
What a strange new world, 3.5 readers.
Gotta be honest, I was outraged for 3.5 seconds until I realized the Miss America pageant was basically spanking material for lonely men in a time when there wasn’t any Internet porn. Now that there’s Internet porn, there’s no reason to watch it.
I mean, really, when was the last time you watched it? I haven’t watched it in many moons.
Ehh, let’s be honest though. It’s not like they’re going to remove the swimsuit portion and then suddenly give it to some smart scientist woman who has a big brain but looks like Rosie O’Donnell or something.
They’ll just give it to the hottest chick in the evening wear competition.
I actually wonder if they’re doing this because Trump is president now and wasn’t he the big beauty pageant mogul for awhile? I don’t remember exactly if he had any sway over Miss America but maybe when he was working in entertainment, casinos, the hot chick model industry, he might have been able to put his two cents in and put the kibosh on this tomfoolery. Giving up power over the hot babe modeling industry to become the leader of the free world. Sheesh. Way to prioritize, Donald.
What say you, 3.5 readers? My feeling is either it’s an antiquated contest where women compete like cattle at the county fair livestock auction and should be retired or otherwise keep it, but let’s not pretend it’s like a great competition of intelligence and talent when the hottest chick is just going to win anyway.
Americans really do love their BS.
I read this story on CNN and I think I’m about to pack it in, 3.5 readers.
The desire for fame apparently knows no bounds.
If you didn’t click the link, I’ll try to summarize. There’s an Atlanta surgeon and she had a YouTube channel where she sings, dances, and raps while cutting into patients, even having assistants join in. You can see clips in the CNN story. The vids have been taken down from her YouTube channel but you can still find some about the Internet. I can’t be sure, but, to me anyway, it looks like she moved the scalpel to the beat in one video. Again, I’m no expert so I don’t want to say that for sure. I could be wrong but…well, I hope I’m wrong. Scalpels should be moved, you know, according to medical rules and not to a funky beat.
If she’d done this on her own time…maybe out of the hospital, made a fun video where she raps and dances over a fake patient, it would be ok. A fun self promo.
But…I mean, even if the patients can’t be identified…you just see stomachs and so on…if you go to a doctor to get surgery, you didn’t sign up to have your body parts shown online and how she didn’t realize the world is small and that wouldn’t eventually get back to someone who would complain.
I don’t know. Social media has brought out our worst instincts. Sometimes I’m a champion for social media. It gives a voice to people who were previously voiceless.
But then I just wonder if the old way was better. Become famous by, you know, actually doing something. Otherwise, it’s just acting a fool for the camera.
I worry about that with this blog. I have been thinking about shutting it all down lately. I have beaten myself up for years for not becoming super rich and famous and successful, as if it were somehow easy and I didn’t pull that off a tree as if fame is low hanging fruit easily within reach. But maybe I just did my best within the limits I have and the cards I was dealt and maybe my free time would be better spent walking in the park, or working on my health, taking a bike ride, getting a new hobby…
I have no idea. I like to think my writing is somehow constructive…but I feel like a jackass, waving my hands along the information superhighway. “Look at me! Notice me! Pay attention to me!”
I mean, it’s not as bad as this woman but perhaps this blog is just a form of doing jumping jacks to get noticed.
Stuff like this just leaves me depressed. This woman is a doctor. Probably paid well. Obtained knowledge and a skill few can handle. Probably could have written and/or made serious content about doctoring and just….no. I’m sorry. You shouldn’t go in for surgery and end up with your naked stomach on YouTube.
We need to invent time travel and get young Mark Zuckerberg laid so he never kicks off this social media mess. Everyone was better off where they said, “Fuck it, I didn’t find fame by 25, so time to get serious about regular life.”
Ugh. Seriously. This depresses me.
Sigh, 3.5 readers.
If you ever wanted a lesson in how to ruin your career and/or lifetime legacy in less than 24 hours, today was the day.
I was really enjoying the “Roseanne” reboot. I enjoyed the show as a kid and to see it back again was like seeing long lost friends come home. Roseanne and Dan, Becky, Darlene and DJ, their kids, Aunt Jackie, all the extended friends and family that would stop by.
There have been so many attempts at rebooting old shows that have fallen flat (IMO) but this one was a winner. I think Roseanne had cemented herself as the comeback kid and probably could have kept her show going for several years.
Alas, imagine my sadness when I heard the news that Roseanne referred to former Obama advisor (not sure of her official title) Valerie Jarrett as “Muslim Brotherhood and Planet of the Apes have a baby.”
Oh God, Roseanne. Why? Why??? So wrong on so many levels.
Roseanne has a history of writing controversial tweets but this was one that couldn’t be ignored. Aside from sadness that this thought was in her mind and that’s bad enough, but that she didn’t have any kind of self restraint to hold herself back. How she thought she could post that and still have a show by the end of the day is mind boggling.
I feel bad for the cast members. Goodman has been the most successful over the years, though Laurie Metcalf was recently nominated for an Academy Award. Sara Gilbert was (is?) on a View-esque talk show. That girl who plays Becky and Michael Fishman (DJ), this was probably their big break so to see it go for them is sad.
So, a lesson learned, 3.5 readers. First, if you are thinking such thoughts, cleanse your mind and your soul. Second, develop a filter, an internal control that keeps you from releasing unfiltered thoughts into the atmosphere.
This is so ridiculous that there is a part of me that wonders if Roseanne did this on purpose….maybe she didn’t want to do the show anymore and wanted to go out with a bang. I don’t think she did. She lost too much money. I think she just rattled off a tweet without thinking but then again, she’s been in show business so long that it amazes me she didn’t realize this was a career killing tweet.
What say you, 3.5?
Hey 3.5 readers.
Have you heard about this one? Do a web search for it and you should find an article about it.
Short version. There was a 30 year old man living in his parents’ house. Mom and Dad wanted him to move out. They gave him five written notices to move out and when the son didn’t move out, they took him to court to evict him.
So, this has become a funny story like, “Oh my God. Adults have become such losers that parents have to go to court to make them move out of the house now.”
I side with these parents. I haven’t read anything to make me believe that they are bad people with bad intentions so as far as I can tell, they probably wanted their son to get out, get a job, live his life, become a productive member of society. (In fairness, I don’t know if he is an unproductive slug or anything, though one of the notices from the parents tells him he needs to get a job.)
I think it’s good that the parents did this and in their defense, I wonder if they would have held off on court action if son had just taken some life improvement steps – i.e., helped around the house more, gotten rid of a broken down car the parents wanted off the property, gotten a job, etc. The parents probably wanted some signs that son was working on improving and seeing none, they saw no need to continue letting him live with them.
Although the son does come off as a bit of a dingus, I do want to defend young adults, maybe not this guy, but in general. I keep hearing commentators saying, ever so shocked, “Millennials have the highest rate of adults living at home, those lazy bums!”
And while this guy isn’t the best representative, there isn’t much recognition of why so many young adults are living at home. The economy tanked in 2008, was a shit show for years and is only starting to show signs of getting better recently. Maybe some are happy to live at home but I assume many are not.
House prices are higher than ever too so who can blame a young person for saving for a few years until they can make that down payment?
Keep in mind a college degree isn’t worth as much as it used to be. It used to be that if you had a college degree, you had it made. Now everyone and their uncle has one.
So…yes, this story is funny. I think the parents did the right thing here and son might have been spared some embarrassment if he’d met his folks half-way and demonstrated some kind of intent to turn things around but overall, yeah, keep in mind that it isn’t as easy to get a good, life sustaining job as it used to be.
So discuss things amongst yourselves. Thank you.
Hey 3.5 readers.
Your old pal, BQB here.
I usually don’t get political on this fine blog. I want it to be enjoyed by all…of my 3.5 readers.
But this is an issue I wrote about after the Parkland school shooting and sadly, I’m writing about it again after the shooting in Santa Fe, Texas.
Look, I get it. Gun control is a tough issue. There are so many strong feelings on either side.
But let’s be honest…while we hope the gun-less utopia, a world where everyone voluntarily throws down their arms because everyone has become so kind, caring and trustable, is coming, it clearly isn’t coming anytime soon.
Listen, in the 1800s, did the world wait when desperados stuck up Old West banks? Did we say, “Oh, we won’t secure these banks, we’ll just wait for a day when everyone becomes nice enough to not rob banks anymore.” No, they pinned tin stars on the chests of surly, bearded, tobacco chawing U.S. Marshalls to hunt down the bank robbers. Today, go into a big bank and you’ll see all kinds of guards and security measures.
When terrorists struck on 9/11, did we wait and say, “Oh, we’ll wait until the day comes when no one wants to do anything evil with a plane.” No. The department of Homeland Security was started, the whole governmental intelligence gathering/law enforcement apparatus was overhauled and airport security was increased. We haven’t had a plane hijacking since, knock on wood.
Does it suck that we live in an age where schools require armed guards? Yes. Will their presence at schools intimidate the kids? I mean, if you think about it, you see so many police and security guards all day long, wherever you go – banks, major attractions, airports, subways, etc. Do you ever feel oppressed when you see them? Probably not.
Every school should have a security assessment and doors should be secured. They should be made such that there’s only one way to enter and that entrance comes with having to go through a metal detector staffed by armed guards. You go through security at so many other locations, so this shouldn’t be a problem.
Yeah, I know. You might say, “Well, that sucks that kids have to be shaken down by security every day” but we have to realize there is an ongoing pattern that has emerged the past twenty years.
Basically, the shooter is almost always a troubled young boy who gets his hands on a gun and after years of being picked on, or teased, made fun of, etc. he decides he’s going to get even. Young people often have no comprehension of how long life is and how some of the things that seem awful when they are teenagers will one day become things they will barely remember when they are adults.
Video games are more violent than ever. So are movies. And with the Internet, kids have exposure to all sorts of naughty stuff you couldn’t have dreamed of seeing as a kid many years ago.
Worse, you’ve got the “me” culture and even worse, “the fame culture” where everyone seems to think the best thing you can do in life is to become famous and it doesn’t matter if you become famous for doing something bad.
We have to be honest here. Yes, guns are a problem but also, keep in mind that up until twenty years ago, people had guns and yet, school shootings were not a regular occurrence. Not saying everyone in those days were perfect, but there’s been a breakdown somewhere that so many kids end up deciding to do a school shooting.
Maybe we’ll get to the gunless, peaceful utopia someday. Until then, tighten up school security.
Thank you. This is BQB, signing off. I’d run for president and solve the world’s problems myself, but I wouldn’t have time to write on this exceptional blog.
Are you going to watch the royal wedding, 3.5 readers?
I hate to be “that guy” but I have a little reservation. Meghan Markle is lovely and she and Prince Harry seem happy together…but…
35 READERS: How dare you rain on our parade, BQB?
Meghan is a) divorced and b) her parents are divorced and statistically speaking (look it up because I’m not making this up), your chances of divorcing your partner go up with every divorce you experience…if your parents get divorced then that means its more likely you will get divorced and the likelihood rises if you have been divorced yourself.
I assume the issue is that as a society, we are taught divorce is awful – you made a big promise and to get out of it, well, that means the world should stop spinning and life as you know it should cease to be…except…life carries on, doesn’t it? Maybe life becomes a little harder, a little sadder, but the earth doesn’t fall off its access and life goes on.
So, I assume if you’re a kid and you see your parents split and that’s sad but then life goes on, and then you get divorced and well, once you rip off that band aid, it might be hard and it might hurt but the more band aids you rip off the easier it gets.
I know, that’s awful and people are more than statistics and stats aren’t everything and after all, they make a nice couple and seem very happy.
I also might be biased. I briefly dated a woman who was divorced and the littlest thing wrong, like on the level of picking a restaurant she didn’t like or a movie she didn’t like or something, that would be enough for her to send her into a tizzy.
I’ve seen it in a friend’s marriage too. He married a divorcee and sure enough, she threatens to leave at the drop of the hat. Too many dishes in the sink = I’m leaving. Toilet seat up? I’m leaving. Forgot to walk the dog? I’m leaving. You bought the wrong brand of ketchup? I’m leaving. He’s way too patient. I’d of told her to leave already.
But ok. These are my personal biases coming into play. I’m just saying if I were the Prince of England, I might have tried for a non-divorced woman but then again, you never know, sometimes going against the grain works and maybe if he had done that he would have ended up being mismatched with someone snooty. Harry seems like he has always been the brother who defies convention (i.e. joining the army and insisting on fighting on the battlefield, etc).
I’m just saying if they get divorced it wouldn’t surprise me but screw it, in today’s age, if two people who had never been married before get divorced, that wouldn’t shock me either so I guess you just gotta go for that babe who revs your engine and hope for the best.
Discuss in the comments, 3.5 readers.