Category Archives: Daily Discussion with BQB

How Can We Improve Civil Rights for the Ugly?

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

As you are aware, I have long been a steadfast supporter of improving rights of the physically ugly.

I mean, I’m not leading any marches or sit ins or anything, but I’m happy to write about it on my blog that is only read by 3.5 readers.

Do you have any ideas on how to improve rights for the ugly?  It’s one thing to brainstorm big ideas but another to focus on actual initiatives.

For example, I’d like to propose a Constitutional amendment that would prevent the government from forcing ugly people to wear paper bags on their heads.  Sure, you say well that isn’t happening now but you never know if the winds will change and maybe in 50 years an anti-ugly regime will take over.  Ergo, it would be great to get freedom from mandatory head bags into the Constitution.

Thoughts?  Would any of you endorse this initiative?

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Ralph Northam Racist Yearbook Photo

Holy crap 3.5 readers.

Has there ever been a more stunning fall from grace than the one happening to VA Gov. Ralph Northam right now?

When you’re confirmed to have appeared in a yearbook photo and you might have either been a klansman or a guy in blackface, your career should be toast.  I fear the media will have his back though and nothing will be done.

By the way, I was just a kid in the 1980s.  There were definitely some things in the pop culture that would make us cringe today.  However, that time period wasn’t exactly the Jim Crow South either.  I don’t recall a lot of fully grown adults walking around in blackface or klan robes, either in earnest or as a tasteless gag.  Frankly, I’m surprised the school allowed that photo to appear in the yearbook.  Mind you, this wasn’t a college or high school yearbook (though you should know better at those ages so it wouldn’t be excused) but this was a year book for fully grown adult professionals graduating from a medical doctor program.

He should resign.

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February Already

Don’t you hate it when you’re already reeling at how fast 2018 went and all of a sudden 2019 is 1/12th over?

I also hate that there are so many dummies who still have their Christmas lights up.

Discuss.

Do I Need An Air Fryer?

PRO: It’s a fairly new device that will fry your air with air instead of grease.  I doubt it’s much healthy but it would probably be fun to fry shit.

CON:  It’s probably going to blow the fuck up in my face, leaving me 100 percent uglier.  Or it might burn BQB HQ down.  Then I’d be on the news ass the asshole who burned his house down while air frying tater tots.

Discuss.

10 More Posts Until My 3,500th Post

Actually, after this one, only 9.

And then I will have written 3,500 posts for 3.5 readers.

Should I do anything special for my 3,500th post?

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Are Billionaires Immoral?

Alexandria Ocasio Cortez said this the other day and I thought I’d opine for the sake of my 3.5 readers.

By the way, why is it fair that some blogs have millions of readers while I only have 3.5 readers?  If those blogs would fork over half of their readers, then my blog would be sufficiently read.

I get the point that there are lots of people who are suffering, without help, without hope and so on.

I think the problem is it depends how you look at it.

It’s all a matter of distribution.

Fred the Billionaire is the Owner of Fred’s Burgers.  Does Fred have a billion liquid dollars in his bank account? Probably not.  He probably has a crazy, silly amount that we’d all want to jerk off all over but he probably doesn’t have a billion liquid.

Fred’s burger stores, the buildings, the property they sit on, that’s all worth a billion.  And before you start in on me, yes I’m speaking in general terms. I don’t have all day to get exact figures and do a real serious case study of what an individual billionaire does with his money.  I’m too busy running a blog that is read by 3.5 readers.

Anyway, Fred can’t spend a burger store.  He can’t spend the property the burger store is on.  He could sell it all (lawyers and the government would take a sizeable chunk) but he’d left with a pretty penny, plenty to go yachting on boats full of women like we saw in the Cardi B video, which, I can’t say enough, is my dream.

I’m not saying that anyone should cry Fred a river.  He’s probably got that booty yacht now.

I’m just saying, like, suppose you tax Fred to the point where he becomes a schmuck, earning a low amount like the rest of us.  Why would he bother continuing to run Fred’s burgers?  Why wouldn’t he get a job that just pays a low level like the rest of us?  Why would he put in all the extra hours, why would he take on all that liability?  You’ve taxed Fred to the point where he’s making 40 grand a year now, but he could still get slapped with a 40 million dollar restaurant if one of his customers chokes on a pickle.

These are all examples off the top of my butt but ultimately, it is all about distribution of resources.  The government does what the people can’t turn a profit off of.  Do you think the government would put out a good burger?  No.  The government will give you hamburger product type 1 and there’s no incentive to make it better.  Fred makes his burgers better because you could always go to Pete’s burgers.  Fuck you Fred, Pete makes better burgers.

Fred is a billionaire but a lot of his wealth is tied up in the means of burger production.  He’s still doing fabulous…but you don’t want to tax him to the point where he or his rivals stop making burgers because you don’t want a government burger.

I’m sorry, Commie Millennials, but I just have to stress that you don’t want to go down the Communism road.  Do you think the government would make good Superhero movies? No.  The government does not make good superhero movies.  Hollywood barely makes good movies of any kind.

Do you think Cardi B makes videos with 10,000 booties twerking on a yacht if she ain’t getting paid?  No.

Believe me, I’ve thought about doing things and taking risks that might make me well, I’ve never had an idea that could make me a billion but if I took some risks, purchased some property, started a business, used my last few bucks to pay for business expenses…I might one day turn a profit but the fear that I’d end up destitute is too much so I’m out.

Business people do see their businesses fail all the time.  I’m not saying cry for the businessmen of the world.  I’m just saying, all people who strive toward a goal have a goal in mind they want to achieve.

Honestly, I write because I hope one day it will lead to me owning a booty yacht.  I’ll invite Cardi and friends to twerk on it.  They’ll say no but I’ll hire a Cardi impersonator.  Whatever.

The government could do more to improve quality of life but I think it starts with eliminating waste.  You scoff, but there are all sorts of crazy programs that get ridiculous funding.  The other day I heard about a program to study why lesbians are fat.  Who cares?  Stop spending millions trying to make lesbians skinny.  Everyone loves fat lesbians.  Lesbians love pizza and pussy.  I love pizza and pussy.  There’s never been a government study spending millions trying to change me but they try to change the fat lesbians.  That’s discrimination.

You know where the millions for the fat lesbian study could go?  Text books for kids.  Food for the poor.  Medicine for the poor and sickly.

Every Congressperson before they vote on some shit should ask if there’s a better purpose for that shit.  They don’t because it’s just too easy for the government to demand more shit but the more you do that then eventually, the shit well runs dry.

Thank you for listening 3.5 readers.  I await your comments.

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I Am Retiring to Watch Cardi B’s Twerk Video

Dear 3.5 Readers,

We’ve had a good run, haven’t we?  Lo, these many years, I’ve provided free entertainment on this fine blog, and you, my trusty readers have given me not enough clicks to earn a living off this enterprise, but just enough clicks to trick me into thinking crazy thoughts like, “If I just give it one more year…”

Anyway, I have found my purpose in life now.  It was my hope that with enough book sales, I’d be able to move to California and purchase a mansion with a luxurious estate that would serve as my home as well as a free range booty farm, one where women of all races, colors, religions and creeds would be free to come and twerk to their heart’s content without fear of repercussions or reprisal, just as long as they didn’t mind me drooling all over them.

Alas, that dream never panned out and I’m not saying it is the fault of my 3.5 readers but yeah, it kinda is, because, you all could have, at any time, become 3.5 million readers but you didn’t.

I’m in luck, because life has now given me the next best thing.  The City Girls and Cardi B teamed up to create a video called “Twerk” and OMG, so many butts.  So many butts!  And they are just jiggling in the breeze, to and fro, a masterpiece for the eyes, a symphony for the senses.

Do not complain about how this video objectifies women, you unwoke bastard, because this video celebrates women.  They are free to explore their sexuality on a beach, on a yacht, in tiger and zebra body paintings…and I am free to explore my sexuality by fapping away.  Fap, fap, fap.

Yes, if you’ve seen this video then you know it changes the game in big booty rap videos.  Call Guinness, for it is a world’s record for the ultimate number of butts being shaken at once.  Don’t watch if you aren’t an adult, or feint of heart of suffer medical conditions or are pregnant.

Many years ago, Sir Mix-a-Lot started the booty rap video craze with his epic, “Baby Got Back.”  Nicki Minaj upped the game with “Anaconda” and now, Cardi B and the City Girls have basically gone nuclear with their butts, dropping a virtual hydrogen butt bomb with this video.

This means that the booty videos will only get more spectacular and grandiose from here.  I have no doubt that Nicki Minaj saw Cardi’s video and was like, “Call NASA because I need to send a rocket full of 10,000 bitches to twerk on the moon.”

In conclusion, I am checking out of life now.  I am done with all the false promises of existence.  Work hard and get your reward.  BS.  This video is my reward and I will watch it on a continuous loop, over and over and over until the end of time where at some point, thousands of years in the future, archaeologists in the year 5000 will excavate the sands of time away from my home and find my skeleton watching a tiger painted Cardi B shaking her booty.

Thank you, 3.5 readers.  I’d say you were the best readers I’ve ever had, but honestly, I’ve seen better.  I wish you the best of luck in finding another blog proprietor to disappoint.

 

 

 

 

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Hello 3.5

I haven’t had much to say lately.

Toilet Gator has just begun the editing process.  Meanwhile, I’m working on the sequel, Son of Toilet Gator.

This has kept me busy.

What are you all up to?

Happy Sunday, 3.5 Readers

Below, inform me of your book projects, writing projects or barring that, projects you are working on so that you suck less in January 2020 than you do right now.

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What’s up, 3.5 Readers?

I hope all 3.5 of you are doing well.  Have you been keeping your New Year resolutions, or are you screwing your future selves over already?

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