Category Archives: Daily Discussion with BQB

My Online Auction Addiction and What Should I Do With My Punisher Helmet?

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

In recent weeks, I developed an addiction to an online auction site.  I don’t know why, just…so much fun memorabilia and while I’m not rich by any stretch I am finally at a point in my life where I can afford the very occasional frivolity.

Long story short, I bid on and won a Punisher football helmet signed by Jon Bernthal, the actor who plays the Punisher on the Netflix series.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.  In retrospect, I don’t like football.  I’m not a huge Jon Bernthal fan.  I think he’s ok. Honestly, I didn’t know his name and always referred to him as that actor who played Shane on The Walking Dead.  By the way, I always thought Shane sucked because his big gripe is that Rick was mad that he banged his wife like literally five minutes after Rick was presumed dead.  Although I guess if I thought Shane sucked then Jon Bernthal did his job.

Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t dislike Jon Bernthal….I just don’t worship the guy or anything either.

Long story short, I bought it with an eye toward putting it on a shelf that heretofore had nothing on it.  But when it arrived, it came in the helmet’s original box and inside, it was sealed in a plastic bag so….I guess now I’m worried about taking it out.

Will air, dust and fingerprints ruin the Jon Bernthal signature?  Should I just tuck it away in the closet somewhere?  Perhaps in ten years it would have a nice resale value?  In fact, maybe I could secretly root for Jon Bernthal to become an Academy Award winner so its value could increase.  Maybe Jon Bertnhal will score a role in the Toilet Gator movie!

Then again, I don’t know.  Maybe it would be fun to keep it on the shelf and look at it.  Perhaps I could get a glass case for it or something, or is a glass case overdoing it?

It is also signed by Ebon Moss-Bachrach, who plays The Punisher’s technical assistant Micro.  I gotta be honest, I only watched the first season so I didn’t know there was a Micro.  I had never heard of this actor before but I could root for him to be an Academy Award winner too.

Hell, if Bernthal and Moss-Bachrach win in the same year I could retire off this thing.

Sidenote- I gotta be honest, I originally wanted to win an Avengers football helmet signed by Stan Lee, but the bids on that were way too high for a humble blog proprietor to afford.

Double sidenote – This wasn’t totally silly because as a kid, I did like and read the Punisher comics.  I don’t know why, I just thought out of all the superheroes, he was the most believable.  He had no special abilities or powers.  He was just a vigilante who violated all norms of due process and criminal procedure law and just shot bad guys in the face.  Like honestly, I love Batman, but at least Batman would leave a bad guy hog tied so the cops could find him and arrest him and put him on trial.  The Punisher would just extrajudiciously decide that a dude was guilty and blow his head off with a bazooka.  As an adult, I do realize that this lack of due process is wrong though so Batman is probably the better vigilante.

In conclusion, should I leave the helmet sealed in the bag and inside the box and in a closet or should I take it out and put it on a shelf?

(Sidenote – I also bought a first issue, first edition GI Joe comic book that came sealed in a plastic case and a 1966 Superman Comic Book that did not come sealed in a plastic case and that after that, that was it.  OK it wasn’t it, I actually bid on a lot more things but thankfully, I lost all those auctions and then after that I stopped and quit cold turkey..)

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I Have No Topic

So please enjoy this photo of an adorable kitty:

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What is this Bunny?

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Is this bunny…

…a magic bunny who can grant wishes?

…an adorable bunny who poops rainbows?

…a wise bunny who can tell you the secrets to the universe?

…a murderous bunny who will bite your face off if you come too close?

…a happy bunny who will spread joy throughout the land?

…a kitty that someone has glued big ears to?

…a bunny who identifies as a dog?

…the actual Easter bunny?

…the King of Bunnytopia?

…a carrot addict?

…a carrot addict with such a serious problem that he steals from all the other bunnies just to feed his three bushel a day carrot habit?

Personally, I prefer to think this bunny is Dr. King’s dream come alive, for he is a perfect example of two colors working together to make something cute.  You didn’t think of that so you are probable a racist bastard.

But I forgive you because not everyone is as great as I am.  Anyway, let me know what you think this bunny is in the comments.

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Will You Play a Rousing Game of Ms. Monopoly?

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

So I saw that Hasbro has come out with “Ms. Monopoly,” which I guess is meant to celebrate women or something, though that’s odd because it’s not like the original game is limited to male or female players.

A key rule change in this version is that female players get $240 when passing go whereas men get a measly $200…because, um, I guess the best way to celebrate strong, independent women is to give them a headstart because they need it because men have all the advantages but also, they don’t need it because they’re so strong and independent and so on.

This is where someone woker than I will point out that this rule change is a commentary on the unfairness of society and that men on average make more than women so see if you men playing this game like it when the women make more for a change.

Then, this is where I would tell the person who pointed this out that they are comparing apples to oranges because sure, women on the whole make less than men on the whole, but that’s because many women often choose less profitable occupations, and amongst the non-college educated, men always have the opportunity to get into construction or roofing or contracting and many women tend to not be interested in such professions and if you are worried then the way to fix it isn’t by just shouting down the imaginary boogeyman that is lurking in the shadows, doling out extra money to men, but rather, to look at why many women don’t go into more lucrative fields and working on ways to break down those barriers.

Moving on…in light of this new game, here are some upcoming female based board games (and/or woke board games):

#1 – Ms. Clue – Without even opening the box, just assume all male players are automatically guilty and send them directly to jail with no concerns for constitutional due process.

#2 – Ms. Twister – Female players will have a rollicking fun time as they spin the wheel that tells them which brightly colored dots they must put their hands and feet on, contorting themselves into all manner of silly positions.  Male players will decline to play and will huddle in a corner, recording themselves on their cell phones, saying things like, “Look, I’m all the way over here!” and “Here are my hands!  Look at my hands!  I’m keeping my hands to myself and away from all of those dots!”  and pointing out that they are not anywhere near the women and that these recordings will hopefully bail them out of any legal proceedings.

#3 – Woke Operation – Though the patient is the one who decided to drink himself until his kidneys exploded, you’ll need to be overtaxed to pay for this operation.  Also, you must chop off the patient’s penis and attach a vagina without making the game buzz.

#4 – Woke Risk (Or Woke Stratego) – The player who plays as America must forfeit all turns and give up all territory and possessions to all other players to make up for past injustices.

#5 – Woke Scrabble – Same point awarding system as before, but if you try to use your tiles to spell out any pronouns, you must slap yourself in the ball sack with a ball peen hammer.

#6 – Woke Game of Life (Millennial Edition) – All players under 35 just fart into their webcams and become automatically millionaires.  Anyone born before Reagan was president can literally go fuck themselves.

#7 – Ms. Chutes and Ladders – All female players get to climb the ladders.  All male players get kicked down the chutes.

#8 – Ms. Pictionary – All drawing clues just require the players to give a middle finger to the patriarchy.

#9 – Ms. Trivial Pursuit – Female players are awarded an extra pie wedge everytime a male player mansplains the answer to a trivia question.

#10 – Ms. Hungry Hungry Hippos – The game begins when the male players throw all of the little balls into the ring.  All female players will then proclaim that their hippos are not hungry…but then they will nibble on the balls that the men are eating…more and more until the male players just wonder why the female players didn’t just order their own damn white balls but, ok, then the male players calm down and realize that the female players” hippos are under a lot of pressure to please society by looking hot so they’ll go along with the rouse and pretend like the women players’ hippos didn’t eat all the white balls and the male players’ hippos will go back into the box starving but they’ll do it because they know to order more white balls would be taken as an insult.

The male players’ hippos will then pick up the check even though the female players’ hippos have jobs and money and are empowered and shit.

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Daily Discussion with BQB – Should Deodorant Come in Boysenberry Scents?

I’m tired of that chemical perfume smell.  I want to smell like lavender, vanilla, oranges, citrus, and creme de menthe.

Do you also want to smell like this?  If so, please invent such wonderful smells and put them into aerosol form.

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Is Dave Chappelle Insufficiently Woke?

Hey 3.5 readers.

Trying to post a little more.

It saddens me that the PC police are coming after Dave Chappelle.  This guy was the king of comedy in the early 2000s only to be branded a villain today.  Sorry to say it but he didn’t change.  You all did.

Oh, how I loved my Chappelle’s Show DVD box set in the old days.  I’d just watch those sketches over and over.  The guy was such a comedic perfectionist that he left 50 million on the table and walked away because he couldn’t phone it in like so many others did and the stress of doing comedy right got to him.

The weirdest argument, among many, is that his R. Kelly sketch normalized R. Kelly.  I remember that sketch.  He hanged R. Kelly out to dry as a whacko, urine obsessed degenerate pervert.  How that supposedly “normalized” R. Kelly I’ll never know.  If anything, it trashed him and made people more aware of his pervyness.

It’s just sad to see everyone getting on his case.  Your thoughts?

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Happy Sunday, 3.5 Readers

Hey 3.5 readers.

I don’t blog much these days as I’m focused on book writing.  And since Friday, I’ve been busy watching Orange is the New Black.  Actually, I can’t believe how bingeable that show is.  It has been my summer watching for years now.  I will miss it when it is over but I guess all good things must come to an end.

Anyway, what are you 3.5 readers up to?  Update me on your 3.5 doings in the comments.

Daily Discussion with BQB – Where Would You Travel To?

Hey 3.5 readers.

Suppose money wasn’t an object.  Some generous benefactor will donate a trip to any country you want to visit.  It won’t be a rich, luxury trip to all the best hotels and restaurants and such.  We’ll say it’ll be a middle class trip.  You’ll stay somewhere relatively comfortable and be able to go on excursions and see the sights and so on.

Anyway, where would you go and why?

Me personally?  Hmm.  Maybe this is wrong but I’d like to go anywhere in Western Europe.  England, Scandanavia, Germany, Spain, Italy and so on.  Or Australia.  Honestly, there are a lot of places in America I’d like to see.

In theory, India, Thailand, China, pretty much anywhere else seem interesting but I fear because I don’t know the language I might make a mistake and not be able to talk myself out of it and end up in jail forever.  It’s probably silly but I keep thinking of the little known Claire Danes movie “Brokedown Palace” about two teen girls who, on a whim, go on a summer vacay to Thailand.  Some dude stashes some drugs in their bags unbeknownst to them and they end up spending life in a Thai prison with only Bill Pullman trying to save them.

Probably unlikely but hey, you never know.

I also like nice, warm tropical places.  I like the Caribbean.  I also like Florida.  Honestly, it is my sincere hope that you 3.5 readers will buy enough of my books that I will be able to buy a nice spread in Florida.  So if you could each buy like 1 million of my books, that would be great.  Frankly, 1 million copies of my writing prompts e-book sounds like a good investment to me.

Where would you go, 3.5 readers?

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Serenity Prayer

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.”

Hey 3.5 readers.  BQB here.  Recovering alcoholics at AA use this prayer all the time though I think it’s ok if you aren’t an alcoholic and want to use it anyway.

As I get older, I find myself having to, not necessarily say this prayer but remind myself of the concept.

There are mistakes I made that are in the past.  I can’t fix them.  I can learn from them, but I can’t reach back and make it so they didn’t happen.

Time has passed on and unfortunately, certain doors of opportunity have shut to me.  Had I spent more time knocking on them in the past, they might have opened.  Now I must realize that knocking on certain doors will only give me a sore first.

The problem is we have two competing forces in our brains.  Ask someone for advice and they’ll tell you 1) Stop dwelling on the past and 2) Work on achieving what you want in the future.

The problem is these, in the abstract, don’t seem like opposing ideas but they are.

For example, if you flubbed things up with an ex, then that’s over.  It’s done.  It’s in the past.  And yet, it’s also positive to want someone new yet you have to accept they won’t be what your ex was.

Maybe you want that big job but have to realize you’re a certain age.  You didn’t strike while the iron was hot.  Didn’t get the right degree or meet the right people or the right skills or what have you.  Maybe it’s not too late to try but then again, you might be at an age where you’re more likely to find success just doing what you’re doing now and making it better the best you can.

Younger you are, the better life is.  When you’re ten, it’s not entirely impossible that you might become an actor or an NBA star or a singer or the president.  By 20, most of these are gone, 30 and 40, well, are they hiring Wal-Mart greeters?  Alas, the older you get, the more life takes away.

I’m at a point where I have to forgive and forget.  Crazy, because as I look back, I’m able to tell my young self exactly what he should do at every step of the way.  That’s probably not so much wisdom as it is hindsight.  He didn’t know what to do so he did something.  I’m living with the results.  I know how it worked out.  I can’t pick up a time phone and tell him to try something different.  If I did, I don’t know how that would have worked out either.

So, that’s basically it.  What’s over and done and what can be changed for the better seem like two oppose forces yet they really do collide.  We’ll torture ourselves if we keep trying to undo that which can’t be undone.  We’ll make our situations worse if we don’t fixing things that can still be fixed.

We don’t want to call the game too early when there’s still points that technically could be scored.  We don’t want to miss the after game nacho dip due to an unlikely hope that a kicker might score a goal with one last second on the clock.

Sorry if my sports metaphors aren’t working.  It’s too late for me to join the NFL, after all, and that is actually one thing I’m certain I can’t change.

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Ideas to Increase Traffic to This Fine Blog

I would like to monetize this exceptional blog and get some moolah flowing in.  Mainly, ‘d like to sign up for Word Ads or Google Adsense, but I have read that unless you have thousands of views per month, don’t bother.  I don’t know the exact figures so I don’t want to discourage any of you, but I have read that you need tens of thousands of views a month before you make any worthwhile money.

The only thing I can think of is changing the theme so that this blog is more mobile friendly.  Apparently, Google will put your site lower in the search results if your blog isn’t mobile friendly.  I have been afraid to change for many years as I fear this fine blog would lose its comic booky charm but perhaps I have no choice.  Still, I doubt that would give me the views I need to monetize.

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