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Movie Review – The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974)

BQB’s classic movie marathon, as inspired by the coronavirus, continues, 3.5 readers.

Before the 2009 remake, there was the original. Both are good and now, after seeing the original, I can see how the remake stayed somewhat true to the source material while updating for the modern age.  Yeeh, hard to believe the remake was 11 years ago.

Anyway.

I have a hunch that Quentin Tarantino must have been a fan of this movie, for, just as in Reservoir Dogs, it too features a band of gun wielding crooks who have to deal with their own wild card.

Here, the crooks are led by Mr. Blue (Robert Shaw) an ex-British military man who became a soldier of fortune in Africa before turning to a life of crime. His comrades are Misters Green, Grey, and Brown.  Grey, played by a young Hector Elizondo, is the wild card who doesn’t follow orders well.

Together, the bad hombres take control of the subway train, Pelham 123. They strand it in a tunnel and radio in to the NYC dispatch center, giving a deadline of 1 hour for the city to cough up a million dollars. Failure to comply will lead to the madmen killing one hostage for every minute that payment is overdue.

Before he became a grumpy old man in the 1990s, Walter Matthau was a grumpy middle aged man who played Lt. Garber, the transit police man who leads the investigation and communicates with Mr. Blue.

There’s a lot of over the top “New Yorkishness” here. A lot of subway workers yelling and shouting at each other as they’re trying to figure out what’s going on, and the actors really lean into those New York accents.

If you’re PC, definitely keep some smelling salts handy as there are many things that don’t hold up today. One worker openly complains about not being able to swear in the presence of a newly hired female coworker keeps him from doing his job effectively. A black police officer hiding near the track worries he might get shot by accident by his fellow officers because, quote, “I’m hard to see in the dark.”

Meanwhile, Matthau, possibly the film’s worst offender, while escorting a group of Japanese subway workers on a tour, openly calls them dummies and monkies, making fun of their limited English speaking abilities. He is surprised when he learns a police inspector he has been communicating with over the radio for the entire film is black (the only assumption being that Garber didn’t think a black man would be so competent), jokes that his Italian coworker works for the Mafia on the weekends, and at several points in the movie, notes that an undercover officer who has blended in among the passengers would be “useless” if it turns out the officer is a “dame.”

To the film’s credit, I think a lot of these things that wouldn’t fly then, didn’t necessarily fly back then either, except that back then, movies were at least to point out that prejudices were wrong by showing characters engage in them only to get their comeuppance later.  For example, Matthau is embarrassed upon realizing that the Japanese subway workers could understand him all along and were just being gracious in not responding to his insults. Meanwhile, he looks like a dick when he underestimates the police inspector, and the look on his face makes us think that perhaps even he realizes he was being a dick.

Back on the train, wild card Mr. Grey calls a passenger an “N-word” and this is a turning point in the film where we realize Grey is nuts and is going to be a problem for his fellow crooks. Mr. Blue, a cold hearted, calculating criminal who is so cold that he is prepared to shoot passengers in the head as just a cost of doing business won’t stand for racial intolerance and realize Mr. Grey was a bad hire at this moment.

I get both points about the racial content in movies debate. I get the one side where it might be best to remove it all. I get the other side where we are asked to take things in context. At any rate, there are a lot of things in this movie that are jarring to modern ears and eyes.

Seinfeld fans will be happy to see a young Jerry Stiller as Matthau’s partner and Stiller’s wife, Doris Roberts, plays the wife of “The Mayor.” We never get the Mayor’s name (played by Lee Wallace) but he is a parody of politicians, worried more about picking the option that will get him the most votes and not about doing the right thing.

Inflation really is a bitch. The crooks rob a train for 1 million dollars, each taking $250,000 a piece. Even today, $250,000 is nothing to sneeze at, but is it worth robbing a train, risking that you might be shot by police or end up in jail?  Probably not, though I guess in the 1970s it was a vast fortune.  The whole thing made me think of the “one million dollars” joke from Austin Powers.

Central to the plot is the mystery of how the bad guys expect to get away when they are underground, surrounded by police and the only way out is to get off at a station, where they will be bound to be caught.

STATUS: Shelfworthy.

 

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Movie Review – Hunt for the Wilderpeople (2016)

You’ve seen director Taika Waititi take off in films such as Thor:Ragnarok and Jojo Rabbit, now see the movie that took him to the next level just a few years ago in Hunt for the Wilderpeople.

Old couple Bella (Rema Te Wiata) and Hec (Sam Neill of Jurassic Park fame) take in Ricky (Julian Dennison of Deadpool 2 fame), the least popular kid in the New Zealand foster care system. Ricky has a habit of being uncontrollable and has a habit of running away from his assigned families.

Something about this family is different. Hec is grumpy and doesn’t hide the fact that he doesn’t want the kid living on the couple’s farm. Bella is sweet and kind, nurturing Ricky to the point where he loses the desire to run.

Alas, all this changes when Bella passes away unexpectedly.   Upon learning that his social worker, Paula, is coming to collect him (she thinks the boy would be better off with a couple and Hec, no fan of Ricky, doesn’t protest) Ricky, true to form, runs off into the forest.

Hec ventures after him, only to break his leg, rendering him immobilized for weeks. Ricky takes care of the man he comes to call Uncle, but also true to form, the media makes a mountain out of a molehill, ginning up a false narrative of how Hec has kidnapped the boy and run off into the woods with him with all manner of evil intentions under the sun.

I wasn’t a fan of the ending. Not to give it away, but it doesn’t seem fair what happens to Hec, but then again, life is not fair. I think the underlying point of the tale is when the media and government team up in believing a false story, they rarely, if ever, are willing to admit they got it wrong and won’t stop until they get their scapegoat, that being Hec, here. Dennison is funny as Ricky, though at times, Ricky is a little jerk who fans the flames against Hec when he doesn’t get his way, and sometimes one wonders why Hec doesn’t just drop the kid off at the nearest sign of civilization and then run.

Sam Neill is great in this role and personally, I think this is the best thing he’s done since Jurassic Park. I’m sure he’s done a lot of great stuff but generally, he always plays the same stern, grumpy, leave me alone type character and that pays off here as he plays opposite a very annoying kid.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy. Available on Hulu.

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Movie Review – Extraction (2020)

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here, taking a break from my classic movie marathon to watch a new one, that being Netflix’s “Extraction” starring Chris Hemsworth, which dropped today.

Hemsworth stars as Tyler Rake, a drunk, drugged up merc with a deathwish as in he doesn’t care if he lives or dies and given his druthers, acts like he’d prefer the latter.

When the son of a Mumbai, India gangster is kidnapped, Tyler is recruited to save young Ovi. To do so, he’ll face legions of enemies as well as double, triple and quadruple crosses.

A lot of great action scenes, gun battles, fist fights, explosions and what have you. Box office blockbuster quality brought straight to streaming in HD.

It was interesting to see Hemsworth playing someone other than a superhero. He stepped out of his comfort zone to play a flawed, tragic hero.

Honestly, during this corona stink fest, it comes at a time when we haven’t caught a good new flick in what, like over a month now? So it was welcome.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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BQB’s Classic Movie Reviews – Romancing the Stone (1984) and The Jewel of the Nile (1985)

My corona movie marathon continues, 3.5 readers.  Still focusing on the 1980s and this time, it is a two for one special.

Watching The War of the Roses the other day reminded me of the other two collaborations between Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner, those being the world traveling treasure hunter movies Romancing the Stone and the Jewel of the Nile.

I don’t know the whole story behind how these flicks were made, but I always thought maybe they were Hollywood trying to capitalize on the popularity of Indiana Jones.  While they don’t have Indy’s chutzpah, they’re still pretty good.

Turner plays Joan Wilder, a shy, awkward novelist who lives out the adventures in her mind by putting them down on paper. In Romancing the Stone, her brother in law, on the trail of a valuable jewel in Columbia, mails Joan a map to prevent it from falling into the hands of the vast assortment of evildoers who are hot on his trail.

The bro-in-law is murdered by the baddies while Joan’s sister is kidnapped and Joan is left with no choice but to leave her comfortable apartment in NYC to go traipsing about the Columbian countryside, eventually hoping to meet up with the villains so she can trade the map for her sister.

Along the way, she meets American adventurer Jack Colton, a ne’er-do-well who is always out to make a buck.  He agrees to escort Joan and keep her safe for a fee, but eventually has to choose between love for her and greed, i.e. maybe he could just go after the treasure himself and run.

In the sequel, The Jewel of the Nile, Jack and Joan have been a couple for six months since the end of the last flick.  Their romance grows stale as Joan grows tired of sailing the world on Jack’s yacht, purchased with the “stone” funds.

Fate intervenes when the one-named Omar barges into Joan’s book signing in Paris and gives her the chance of a life time.  Joan, feeling like her romance novels are trivial and she needs to start writing serious non-fiction pieces, jumps at the chance to visit the Nile and write a biography about this leader who claims he has united the various Nile tribes under a banner of peace and prosperity, thanks to his acquisition of the titular jewel, believed by local custom to give its owner great power.

Jack and Joan split but when a band of rebels hires Jack to track down the jewel and swipe it from Omar (they claim the leader isn’t what he seems and that he is not the reformer he claims to be but is actually a ruthless dictator) he jumps at the chance to get a new treasure and perhaps reunite with Joan.

Both films have a lot of action and some memorable scenes.  In the first film, there’s a memorable part where one villain is fed to another villain’s pet alligators.  In the second film, Jack and Joan go on a land base chase in a jet.  Jack can’t fly it, but he can drive it so that’s fun.

Danny DeVito appears in both films as comic relief Ralph, a slimeball who is always in pursuit of the couple, trying to swipe whatever treasure they’re after.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy. Both are available on Hulu. There are some occasional racial stereotypes that flew in the 1980s that won’t fly today that will make you wince.

Both films are solid and I wonder why they never made a third, though the second wraps up the character arcs nicely.  Indy was the only one who made treasure hunting movies a blast and ultimately, I think the luster fell from treasure hunting flicks by the end of the 1990s, as people started to look at the idea of treasure hunting not as a chance to venture forth into the unknown and come out richer for it and more like white people robbing third worlders of their wealth.  It would be like a foreign adventurer coming to America, pointing to Fort Knox and saying, “I found all this gold so it’s mine!”

So, if you can ignore all that, these movies are a good time.

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BQB’s Classic Movie Reviews – Tango and Cash (1989)

It’s so bad it’s good, 3.5 readers.

My corona movie marathon continues, focusing a lot on the 1980s as of late, and boy is this movie bad yet delicious, like an exquisite stinky cheese, you know it’s not good for you at all.  It’ll taste good going down, but it’ll leave your breath smelly later.

Ray Tango (Sylvester Stallone) and Gabe Cash (Kurt Russell) are rivals on the LAPD, constantly vying for the position of Tinsel Town’s most popular police officer.  Cash is brash and carefree while Tango is slick, sophisticated, cool and rich.  Cash throws on whatever was left in his hamper, while Tango dresses sharp, like an investment banker.

The super thin plot?  Perennial movie villain Jack Palance is tired of these two coppers shutting down his various evil interests. He fears that outright killing the duo will put a police target on his back, so his next best idea is to frame them for a crime they didn’t commit, tarnishing them in the eyes of the city and leaving no one giving a crap what happens to them.

From there it’s a mad cap romp, from T and C breaking out of the joint to taking on Palance’s goons with the help of a high tech battle vehicle.

It’s obnoxious.  It’s silly.  There’s really no point to it.  The lines are epic level cheesy.  It is kind of interesting that Sly was able to convincingly act in a role of a character who was intelligent but otherwise, this movie is not your vegetables.  It is your big, sugary bowl of ice cream.  It’ll be great going down.  You’ll be sick in the morning.

Points to the movie that it is self aware. Stallone makes fun of himself, makes fun of his Rambo character, etc.

STATUS: Shelfworthy.  Bonus points because I forgot Teri Hatcher was in this movie.  She didn’t really hit it big until Lois and Clark and not gonna lie, she was high on my 1990s fap list.

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BQB’s Classic Movie Reviews – The War of the Roses (1989)

How do you get someone who wants to leave to stay, 3.5 readers?

And how do you get someone who wants to stay to go?

BQB here with a review of yet another 1980s movie as my corona movie marathon continues.

The film is narrated by Attorney Gavin d’Amato, played by Danny DeVito.  The story begins with Gavin meeting with a client who is determined to divorce his wife.  Gavin tells the cautionary tale of his old friends, Oliver and Barbara Rose and their petty, destructive and violent divorce that ruined it all.

Oliver (Michael Douglas) and Barbara (Kathleen Turner) were young once, and they truly loved each other.  Though largely an incredibly dark comedy, it’s also an epic piece, as Gavin goes back and forth between the recent past as well as the course of twenty years, providing tidbits of the couple’s courtship, marriage, early life, having children and finally, their success that turned to unbridled hatred.

Thus is the crux.  Relationships begin with the tenderest of love and they end with the cruelest of anger.  As time goes on and age closes one door after another, the resentments build.  Unhappy partners begin thinking about what they could have done had they not betrothed themselves to this person who no longer makes them happy.  Each truly believes his/herself to be the wronged party and they seek to get even through the legal system, hoping to take it all and leave the other with nothing.

Both have good cases.  Oliver is the Harvard trained lawyer who made all the money. Barbara is the wife who stood by his side, taking care of home and family, focusing on every little detail so that Oliver could put all of his focus on his career, a career that Barbara never had because she was so busy taking care of him.

Ultimately, “the war” comes down to the couple’s magnificent house.  Oliver paid for it.  Barbara took care of it.

Gavin, Oliver’s co-worker who represents him in the divorce, finds a loophole that states that as long as both parties live separate lives while residing in the same house (i.e. they live in the same house but have little to no contact, like a couple of detached roomates) then neither party can lay claim to push the other out and thus, Oliver can’t be forced out.

Great legal advice but realistically, not so much.  While the first half of the movie drags a bit, the last half of the film where the couple trashes their house to bits all in an effort to hurt each other is where the dark comedy gold lies.  You’ll laugh.  You’ll cry.  You might cry a bit more.

I don’t think I’m giving much away but offering Gavin’s parting words up front.  He advises his client, the one he’d been narrating the story to all along, to be generous to his wife.

Perhaps that’s something we all need to keep in mind.  Again, relationships begin with love and typically, they end in hate.  Indeed, you might have been wronged.  Sometimes when there’s cheating, abuse, alcoholism or what have you, it’s easier to draw that clear cut line where you say that person’s an a-hole and they need to be out of your life for good.  The harder situation is where a couple just grows apart, as the Roses did, and for whatever reason, one spouse just wakes up one day and decides they don’t love the other.

Hard as it is, no amount of revenge can get you back the years you spent on someone that you could have spent on someone else.  Be generous enough to bring the matter to an amicable close, though maybe don’t be a chump and leave yourself homeless and penniless either.

Sidenote: Danny DeVito directs and he did a great job here.  I googled his directing credits and didn’t realize he had directed so much and some big name films like Hoffa, though I think this was the best.

Also fun fact this is the third big 1980s movie starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner.  They had also starred together in the Indian Jones-esque Romancing the Stone and Jewel of the Nile.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.  Moral of the story?  If someone doesn’t want to stay, you should suck it up and let them go.  However, if someone refuses to leave, then you probably should.

PS – Obviously, it’s named after the War of the Roses, the series of battles in old British history waged over the course of many years.  One can assume both sides of countrymen once loved on another, then war broke out.  They fought viciously over turf and destroyed so much that any victory surely rang hollow.  War is a lot like a non-amicable divorce, 3.5 readers.

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BQB’s Classic Movie Reviews – Night Shift (1982)

Jumpin Jack Flash, 3.5 readers.

BQB here and my corona movie marathon continues, taking the time to watch movies I otherwise probably would have never seen again.

This time it’s the 1982 comedy “Night Shift” starring Henry Winkler and Michael Keaton.

Winkler plays chuck, a financial genius who gave up his job as a stock broker because he couldn’t handle the stressful, fast pace of Wall Street.  He trades his shot at big money for a job working the night shift at the city morgue.  For a wimpy, wishy washy man who won’t stand up for himself, it’s the perfect gig.  No supervisors, very little to do and the customers, well, they’re dead so they can’t complain.

You’d think he’d be happy to live a quiet life but still, there’s something burning inside him.  His mother nagged his father into an early grave, and he fears he will meet the same fate at the hands of his bossy fiance, Charlotte.

All this changes when Chuck’s new morgue coworker, Billy Blaze (Michael Keaton) comes on the scene.  While Chuck worries about everything, Billy worries about nothing.  Billy is a schmuck, but he fancies himself a fast talking con man.  He quickly sees that when there’s no bosses around at the morgue, this is his chance to run scams out of the office.

Many of those scams fall flat until Billy learns that Chuck’s neighbor, Belinda (Shelley Long) is a prostitute.  She and her fellow ladies of the evening are out of luck, as their rare benevolent pimp, Franklin, who watched their backs, has been put on ice by the local mob.

Scared that he’ll end up like his old man, Chuck takes a risk for once in his life and joins Billy in running a prostitution ring out of the morgue.  Billy drives the ladies and arranges the “meetings” while Chuck handles all the money, managing the moolah so well that the ladies become rich beyond their wildest dreams.

All seems to go well until Shelly and Chuck fall in love and well, Chuck will have to figure out whether it’s easier to stand up, be a man, and take more risks, or if he’ll sit back and let others push him around.

This movie was always on when I was younger and obviously, I didn’t understand the plot other than it was just two guys acting silly.  Prostitution and crime aside, there is a message buried somewhere in there about standing up for yourself, not letting yourself be bullied, being willing to take the risks.  Maybe you’ll get what you wanted but if you don’t, you tried, so accept the consequences and move on.

Sounds dumb, but I recall this movie being the first example where I realized what actors can do.  I had always known Winkler as “The Fonz” on Happy Days, the low voiced cool guy with the leather jacket who always gets all the chicks.  Yet in this movie, he’s a mousy, mealy mouthed man who is afraid of his own shadow.

Amazing transformation, but I hate to say it, unless I’m forgetting a role somewhere, Winkler pretty much stuck with playing wimpy dudes, with The Fonz being his once chance to play an awesome dude, and this movie being the one chance to be a wimpy guy that we all felt for, maybe even saw a little bit of ourselves in.  You may think you’re not a wimp, but how many slights do you put up with a day, just to avoid causing trouble?  Probably more than you realize.

Keaton is great too, playing a dopey slime ball.  He’s got that long hair where he’s going bald up front in this one and as I watched it, I thought, huh, the 1980s was the last decade where a man with a receding hairline could be recruited to play Batman.  Not knocking Keaton’s looks, it’s just, there was a time period in Hollywood where people didn’t get knocked for being human.  Bad hair is something many of us suffer from.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.  Directed by Ron Howard, Winkler’s buddy Ritchie Cunningham.  Shelley Long seems too intelligent to be a prostitute, though the underlying premise is that life is hard and a lot of people have to do a lot of things they don’t want to do just to get by.  Bonus points for Rolling Stones music as Billy is a fan and plays their tunes throughout.

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BQB’s Classic Movie Reviews – Judgment Night (1993)

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My coronavirus movie marathon continues, 3.5 readers.

This one wasn’t all that cheesy.  I thought it was pretty good as a kid.  As an adult it seems a little goofy but overall, it’s solid and has a simple lot.

Four friends, Jeremy Piven, Cuba Gooding Jr, Emilio Estevez and Stephen Dorff step outside of their suburban Illinois lives, borrowing an RV to go to a boxing match in Chicago.

A traffic jam causes them to seek out a shortcut, which leads to a wrong turn, which leaves them in a bad neighborhood where they witness a murder.  From thereon, the movie is a chase flick, as drug dealer Fallon (Dennis Leary) and his band of goons pursue the pals in an attempt to get rid of the witnesses.

There isn’t a lot in the way of character development.  Everyone gets their brief moment to shine but the movie primarily focuses on the chase and we don’t get to know the characters all that well, though we get a brief glimpse.

Piven, who was typecast as the douchebag friend in every group who eventually screws over the group with his douchebaggery plays true to form in this, the rich son of a stockbroker who tries to talk his way out of a situation where clearly there isn’t any room for negotiation.

Frank (Estevez) is a recently married man who just had a baby, adjusting to his new life as a family man, still shaking off his younger party boy days.  There’s a trace of resentment at having to stay home all the time at the beginning of the film, though by the end he finds a new appreciation for the safety of home.

Cuba starts out mild and ends up wild, almost enjoying “the game” and wanting to take on all the bad guys by himself.

Dorff…is mostly there for moral support.

Comedian Leary was famous for doing his rapid fire, long form rants, just unleashing swaths of anger at a rapid clip.  He has a few moments to do that here, though it’s clear he was held back as no one wanted to turn his criminal character into a stand up comedian.

STATUS: Shelf worthy.  Overall, solid flick.  Worth a watch.  Overall message is we should care more about how the other half lives.  The suburban boys quickly learn that the poor live hard lives and when they are stuck in a bad place, there’s no one to turn to for help, so they have to help themselves.

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BQB’s Classic Movie Reviews – The Warriors (1979)

3.5 readers, come out to play….3.5 readers, come out to play…

My coronavirus marathon of cult movies continues, this time with that gangland classic, “The Warriors.”

Now, I spent most of my adult life never even having heard of this film.  Then it the past few years, I started seeing references to it pop up here and there, people quoting the line when the Warriors are invited to “rumble” or, to “come out to play.”

The plot?  Peace is about to break out amongst all the gangs of New York City.  Cyrus, the popular leader of the Riffs, has called a giant meeting, asking all the gangs to meet him in the Bronx.  In a passionate speech, he points out the gangs are stronger together than apart, that they can do more working together than fighting one another.

It looks like a long lasting truce is about to come to fruition, when he’s shot in cold blood by the Rogues and worse, the Warriors are framed for the crime.

Even worse than the worst, the Warriors have to make a 50 mile trek to the safety of their home turf on Coney Island, forced to fight for their lives against a multitude of street hoodlums, all looking for vengeance on the gang they falsely believe took the life of their savior.

Michael Beck plays Swan, the Warriors’ leader aka their “War Chief.”  He is forced into the unenviable position of having to lead his gang home, not to mention having his authority called into question by his hot headed number two, Ajax, played by a young James Remar, who modern viewers might recognize today as Dexter’s adopted father Harry in Dexter.  It’s possible there are other young actors in this film who went on to bigger, better things but Remar was the only one I recognized.

The movie’s style is gritty, almost as if the producers were trying to say there’s no whitewash here.  We’re showing you gang life in all its sordid, nasty glory.  Except, about five minutes into the film, you get the impression that they’re not really doing that at all.  The uniforms of the various gangs are silly, sometimes downright hysterical.  The Warriors are chased by the Baseball Furies, a bunch of baseball bat wielding, team uniform wearing weirdos.

Do street gangs actually wear such fanciful, perfectly matched costumes in real life?  No.  To the film’s credit, there is a brief reference to the fact that they’re only dressing so matchy-matchy because they’re going to Cyrus’ gang summit and want to wear their colors to represent their turf.  OK.  I guess I can give that a pass then.

Meanwhile, in an early scene at the gang summit, we see fools in all sorts of silly matching outfits, the gang of street mimes being the most memorable.

Is that tongue in cheek?  Probably.  This is definitely a Hollywood version of gang life.  Not so schmaltzy as in West Side Story, where the gangs ward each other off with their fancy dance moves.  It’s definitely rougher than that, though at times, sillier.

I’ll give it this.  The plot is simple and straight and sometimes that can be great in a movie.  The twists are few, if any, and really, it’s just a survival flick.  The terms are set forth early.  They have been framed.  Bad guys who don’t know they have been framed want them dead.  They need to get home before they are killed.  What keeps the bad guys from just going to their turf?  I don’t know.  Rules and reasons, I guess.

Obviously, there are plenty of things that don’t fly today.  The Warriors are pretty quick to label each other with “the F word for homosexuals” at the slightest sign of weakness.  Oh, and they’re a Native American themed gang with nary a Native American within its ranks, so there’s that.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.  SPOILER ALERT:  There’s a scene where a group of ladies pick up the Warriors and invite them back to their apartment, seemingly on the auspices of offering nookie.  In reality, they trap our favorite gang and attempt to murder them.  I’m proud to say I would never fall for such a rouse, as whenever a woman flirts with me I always, without fail, assume that it’s all just a rouse intended to lead me to my demise.  While none of us know for sure how we will die, I know for me, it will never be because I was tricked into thinking a woman found me attractive.  So, there’s that.