3.5 readers, do you like free books? What’s that? 2.5 of you are distant cousins of John D. Rockefeller and ergo, you prefer to pay for your books?
Fine, but the remaining 1 of you who isn’t related to John D. Rockefeller should go on over to Amazon and get this free book.
Also, there is a shark on the cover.
My big book of badass writing prompts is free for the next few days. Pick up a free copy or better yet, leave a review. Any help is appreciated.
Hey 3.5 readers.
All I do is give and give.
In keeping with that spirit, here’s a free book. Today is the last day it is for FREE.
It’s free, 3.5 readers.
That means all you have to do is go and get it…FOR FREE!
Click. Download. Get a free book. Leave a review if you like though I know that’s asking a lot. But anyway, it’s free, 3.5 readers. You can’t go wrong.
Buy my book! Buy it! Buy it now! Buy it immediately!
Or don’t. See if I care.
Thank you.
My Big Book of Badass Writing Prompts, available for your reading pleasure, 3.5 readers:
Hey 3.5 readers. BQB here.
I try not to overload you with this but occasionally I have to pitch my stuff, so please, if you are so inclined, stop on over Amazon and get a copy of my big book of badass writing prompts for 99 cents.
Here’s a spoiler. You can use them as inspiration for your writing if you want, but it’s really just a vehicle for all my jokes that have kept you 3.5 readers captivated for so long now.
You’ve read the other books for writers. You’ve never read one like this.
My book has prompts about shark punching, farts that echo through time and space, scary pieces of pumpernickel bread, an intergalactic mission to a butt-less planet, zombies who own a bed and breakfast….it goes on and on.
Best part? It’s free. Yes, this and Episode 1 of The Last Driver are free until Oct. 30th, so be a pal and grab a free copy. Did I mention it is free? Because it is.
I’m Crazy BQB and my prices are insane!
My prices are so low I should be put in a straight jacket and shipped off to the funny farm but I don’t care because I’m passing the savings on to you!!!
For the next 5 days you can get my 2 self-published books for absolutely free! That’s zero dollars! That’s no money! Nada! Zilch!
3.5 READERS: OK, BQB, we’ll get your free books. It’s the least we can do.
Well, the most you could have done was to have bought my books at full price to thank me for the many years I have been entertaining you with this fine blog for free but that’s ok, I love you, 3.5 readers.
But if you could go on over to Amazon and grab my free books, that would be awesome. If you could leave a review, that would be great. If you could share news of my free books on your preferred time wasting social media website, that would be perfect.
FRIENDS OF MY 3.5 READERS: Oh great, the 3.5 readers are going to share yet another boring lunch photo and what?! They’re posting links to BQB’s awesome free books instead? Hooray! The 3.5 readers are the best!
So, what will you find for free from BQB?
First, The Last Driver – Episode 1 just dropped like it’s hot (that’s so 2000’s) on Amazon. Someone bought a copy within the first hour and thank you to that person. The rest of you need to get your priorities straight.
Next up, you can also get BQB’s Big Book of Badass Writing Prompts, for FREE as well:
Now, 3.5 readers, I don’t know what time it is in your neck of the woods, but this sale is scheduled to start tomorrow. What time that actually kicks in I don’t know. I’m going to assume midnight. Obviously, if you go on over before October 26, you’ll have to pay full price, and if you want to do that, I’d appreciate it, because damn it, keeping the lights on at BQB HQ is no easy task, let me tell you. By the way, do you have any idea how much yetis eat?
But if you are cheap-o skinflint, I totally understand as the Baby Boomers have been selling us all down the river for years and don’t even get me started on the post-2000 economy. I understand. You can’t go around spending your cash on every book offered to you by a magic bookshelf caretaker. Ergo, you can wait until the sale starts on the 26th and get both books for FREE!
Thank you for your support, 3.5 readers.
3.5 readers, today is the day we celebrate our independence from British tyranny (yes, we were so pissed those dirty limey pricks taxed our tea that we went and created a system that taxes a) our income b) our property c) our purchases and d) still charges fees for many basic government transactions.
That’ll learn ya, ya bucktoothed wankers!
Anyway, celebrate your country’s independence today, but all year long, you can celebrate your independence from shitty writing ideas by buying my big book of badass writing prompts. To do so, you’ll have to liberate 99 cents from your wallet, but really, can you put a price on freedom? I think not.
