Category Archives: Uncategorized

Undesiredverse: Wanted – Chapter 5

Tau is a shai, a species of beings who are basically human albinos, with the exception that their eyes are also entirely white, devoid of any retina or expression.

Thus, if eyes are the window to the soul, it’s nearly impossible to tell what a shai is thinking.

When his parents were murdered by the Cabal, Master Ashakti took young Voss into his chaizo (dojo). Voss trained alongside a younger Tau in Umquai, a shai martial art.

Their training requires that if either one is to kill the other, it must only be through a fair duel, lest they forfeit their chance at an afterlife in “The Great Beyond.”

Sourcemind thinks that’s superstitious bullshit and cuts to the chase, so to speak.

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I removed my duster and laid it across a fluffy white couch.  I felt naked without it, even in my black shirt. 

Izok took off his robe to reveal a six pack.  Damn show off.  Made me wish I’d worked out more.

The kubazi spear.  The most deadly of all the ancient, pre-gunpowder weapons.  Two jagged ends, each so sharp they leave you feeling like they’ll slice you to ribbons just by looking at them.  The middle disconnects to form a chain, leaving the weapon to be wielded like a pair of nunchaku or more accurately, a giant flail.  The chain can even be retracted and the weapon broken apart entirely to allow the the user to wield each end as a pair of dual blades.

Long before they discovered space travel, the shai warlords of old reigned supreme over their world with…

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Undesiredverse: Wanted – Chapter 4

Old friends are reunited. Are they still friendly?

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Izok’s crib was magnificent.  Trophies and treasures crafted from the finest rare metals adorned his walls.  His floor was pure sacamora, a black marble like substance.  He sat on a jewel encrusted throne he’d made himself, surrounded by females of all various species, each more alluring than the next.  They fanned him and fed him berries.

A coarse furred banji beast rested its head at Izok’s feet.  It was majestic.  Quite a site indeed.  The pink eyes, the massive fangs protruding out of its mouth, I’m surprised Izok was able to find one.  They’re virtually extinct.

“Roman!”  Izok shouted across the enormous room, his echo reverberating in my ears.

“Hello Izok,”  as I said when I reached him.  “Your stock certainly has risen.”

“Do you like it?”  Izok asked as he outstretched his hands and looked around his digs.

“It’s…

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Undesiredverse: Wanted – Chapter 3

Ninety-five and Roman have a disagreement over strategy.

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Two suit sporting goons stopped on our approach to the elevator. They both wore shades though it seemed pointless. Shai eyes don’t give anything away, after all.

“I’m an old friend of your boss,” I said.

“And this thing?” one of the goons asked as he pointed to Ninety-five.

“Some discount military hardware I’d like to unload on Izok,” I replied. “Let’s just say he fell off the back of a delivery ship.”

Ninety-five looked at me. “I am not stolen merchandise I am…”

I patted him on his metal back.

“Shut your interface hole and speak when spoken to, robot,” I said.

The head goon relayed my arrival to Izok. After a moment, he nodded to me. “He’ll see you.”

Another goon tried to scan me with his Sen Pen but was stopped.

“It’s ok,” the head goon said. “The boss says they’re cool.”

We were shown into the elevator…

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Undesiredverse: Wanted – Chapter 2

Voss answers nature’s call only to be bullied into an alliance with Sourcemind, the highly evolved artificial intelligence/current overlord of Omcoros.

Sourcemind can control any machine that comes into contact with him (or machines that come near machines already in his control).

Ninety-five is one of Sourcemind’s elite death bots. Sometimes Ninety-Five is in control of himself. At other times, Sourcemind takes over.

Roman wants a bounty on Izok Tau’s head. Sourcemind wants something in Tau’s possession.

It makes sense to work together but then again, Voss has just made a deal with a metal devil.

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Unfortunately, I have no other graphics to offer except various photos of Alien Jones, who is stripped of his Esteemed Brainy One powers at some point before 2999. Unfortunately, I have no other graphics to offer except various photos of Alien Jones, who is stripped of his Esteemed Brainy One powers at some point before 2999.

Narrated by Roman Voss

Rizzle Juice goes right through me.  I was relieving myself at the trough in the unisex bathroom when the door opened and closed all by itself.

Weird.  Was that the wind?”

The door locked by itself too.  It was not the wind.

Heavy footsteps approached.  I zipped up and turned around to see a feint, flickering shimmer turn into seven foot tall killing machine.  Flawless, gleaming chrome you could see your reflection in.  Red eyes affixed in their sockets.  Stenciled across its chassis was the number, “95.”

It darted a metal hand towards me, caught my throat in its impenetrable grip, and lifted me off my feet into the air.

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Undesiredverse: Wanted – Chapter 1

Hey geeks,

I’m reblogging all of the Chapters so far. If you want to check them out in one stable place, you can always head over to @bookshelfbattle on Wattpad.

Our story begins on Malostet, the Undesiredverse’s answer to Las Vegas.  Bright.  Flashy.  Depravity at every turn. Casinos aplenty and night clubs galore.

Voss makes his way with a bass thumping, tech beat pumping strobe light flashing rave club in search of an old friend.

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As Narrated By Roman Voss

Malostet – 2999 A.D.

Alien Jones laughs when he learns he will get no profits from Undesiredverse sales. Alien Jones laughs when he learns he will get no profits from Undesiredverse sales.

1:00 A.M.

Thump.  Thump.  Thump.  Thump.

The bass launched an assault on my eardrums.  The strobe lights weren’t helping either, though they achieved the desired effect of making thousands of useless lowlives look more interesting than they actually were.

The DJ shouted some nonsense then cranked his synthesizer on high.

“Ladies, gentlemen, andacrons, filozens, polaprops, and all of the various, assorted Rombekian sexes too numerous to mention at this time, welcome to Loktai Cren!  Is everybody having a good time?”

No,” I thought as I moved through a crowd of scantily clad flesh. “I am not having a good time.”

Loktai Cren.  Roughly translated from Shai to English, it means, “The Skin Palace.”  If you’re a pervert who enjoys…

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La Marseillaise – The French National Anthem Scene From Casablanca

Bonjour 3.5 lecteurs,

BQB here.

There have been reports that when the Stade de France was evacuated, attendees sang La Marseillaise, the French National Anthem.

If you haven’t heard this part of the news coverage, one of the terrorists attempted to enter the stadium wearing a bomb vest.  He was stopped and questioned before entering and detonated himself right there.  Three people died and its terrible that they did.  It surely would have been even worse had he been able to detonate inside the stadium.

So the evacuees sang their national anthem as they exited the scene.  That protest in the face of tyranny reminded me of another time when French people sang their national anthem in defiance of evil. Although the one I’m thinking of was fictional, it’s still moving.

Casablanca, a 1942 film that brought light to the plight of European refugees fleeing their homeland via Morocco during World War II is one of the best films ever made, filled with quotable lines that still hold up today.  If you’ve ever heard someone say, “round up the usual suspects” that’s where it came from.

OK.  I’ll cry SPOILER ALERT even though its a 75 year old movie.  Whatever.  It’s about a love triangle between Humphrey Bogart’s Rick Blaine, a night club owner who’s fled America to escape his troublesome past, Ingrid Bergman as Ilsa Lund, the hot babe he falls in love with in France and Paul Henried as Victor Laszlo, an anti-Nazi writer and activist.  Ilsa fell for Rick assuming she’d never see Victor again but voila, he returns and it’s heartbreak city all around.

But I’m not talking about that part.  I’m talking about the part where the evil Major Strasser sings a Nazi tune with his jack booted brethren, only to be drowned out by Victor and other French folk in attendance.

La Marseillaise.  It worked against Nazis.  It works against terrorists.

Casablanca – 1942

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#31ZombieAuthors – Day 7 Interview – Gillian Zane – Alpha Male Lessons for BQB

For sure, I am one badass alpha male nerd. But I wasn’t always that way. I got some lessons from none other than Gillian Zana, author of the NOLA Zombie series.

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gzFIND THIS ZOMBIE AUTHOR ON:

Amazon      Website

Facebook      Twitter

Today’s guest is Gillian Zane, author of the Nola Zombie Series. Follow the exploits of doomsday prepper Alexis Winter and macho ex-military man Blake Miller as they brave the streets of New Orleans in the midst of a zombie apocalypse, fight for their survival, and do it a whole helluva lot.

“Um…hey guys? Do you know there’s zombies outside and…oh what they hell, have fun you two.”

Filled with “zombies, sex, romance and carnage,” this is a series designed to titillate the senses of the adult reader and thus its only intended for those 18 years and over.

Hello Gillian. I can hear you loud and clear on Alien Jones’ space phone.

NOTE: BOLD=BQB; ITALICS=Gillian

Q. I have to admit, when I first heard about the concept of blending the erotic and zombie genres…

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#31ZombieAuthors – Day 6 – S.G. Lee – Advice From the Journal of the Undead

S.G. Lee. He reveals zombie weaknesses in his Journal of the Undead series and was kind enough to offer his assistance in the cleaning up of the East Randomtown Zombie Apocalypse.

Also, he has his own action figure. You wish you had your own action figure.

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FIND THIS ZOMBIE AUTHOR ON:

Amazon     Blog

Facebook      Twitter

Today’s guest is S.G. Lee, author of the Journal of the Undead series and proprietor of sgleehorror.blogspot.com, where he spins yarns of zombitabulous mayhem free of charge, assuming you don’t include the hours of sleep you’ll lose thinking about the twisted horror scenarios he’s concocted.

A self-described Philly sports fan, he claims an ability to bleed all of Philadelphia’s sports team colors, much to the shock of his local medical community.

S.G. welcome.  Personally, I think the East Randomtown Mascots would trounce the Phillies any day of the week, but alas we must discuss more serious business.

NOTE: BOLD=BQB; ITALICS=S.G.

Q.   I’ve just learned that my mentor, the illustrious Dr. Hugo Von Science, caused the East Randomtown Zombie Apocalypse on purpose as part of a villainous scheme.  For me, this begs…

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#31ZombieAuthors – Day 5 Interview – Perrin Briar – Three Zombie Series and Counting

Hello 3.5 readers.

One of my favorite parts about the #31ZombieAuthors interview series was that it allowed me to talk to writers from all over the world, like Perrin Briar, all the way in Jolly Old England.

Alien Jones’ space phone can reach anywhere in the universe, so Old Britannia wasn’t a stretch.

Perrin is a prolific author, with a number of awesome zombified series. He told me all about it on Day 5.

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perrin briar

FIND THIS ZOMBIE AUTHOR ON:

Amazon      Website

Facebook      Twitter

My guest today is Perrin Briar, the prolific British author behind a number of zombified book series, including:

Blood-Memory-Complete-Season-Small

Blood Memory – Jordan, who’s suffering from a six year gap in his memory, leaving him with no recollection of how a zombie outbreak started, joins the crew of the ship, Haven, but a shipwreck complicates matters.  The crew will have to leave the safety of the sea and step out onto land, where zombies aren’t the only monsters they’ll have to face.

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Z-Minus – Infected by a zombifying virus, a father decides to use his last hours of life to get his daughter to safety.

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Swiss Family RobinZOM –  A send-up of the 1812 classic novel authored by Johann David Wyss, now with zombies!

Previously, Perrin has written for BBC radio, and worked in the production and development departments…

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#31ZombieAuthors – Day 4 Interview – Ann Christy – When Life Gives You Lemons…

Hey poindexters,

BQB here. Still recovering from last month’s zombie apocalypse. I think I have PTSD. I still see zombies everywhere. Mostly on Sunday nights on AMC but still.

Anyway, I’m reblogging last month’s interviews. On Day 4, I spoke to Ann Christy, who advised that when life hands you lemons, make some vodka lemonade.

Also, if you plan to self-publish a book, there’s no question you need a good editor. But, if you’re determined to self publish and can’t, for whatever reason, get an editor, Ann offers her four views method for self-editing.

If you’re sure that going editor-less is your only option, check this out.

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FIND THIS ZOMBIE AUTHOR ON:

AMAZON     WEBSITE

FACEBOOK     TWITTER

Today’s guest is Ann Christy, author of the Between Life and Death series.  Follow teenager Emily as she makes her way through a world comprised of three groups:  humans, deaders, and the flesh-eating in-betweeners.

Among her other works, Ann is also the author of the Silo 49 series, which takes place in the world of Hugh Howey’s Wool, as well as the dystopian adventure, Strikers, and many others.

Ann, welcome.  It truly takes a brave individual to take a call from Alien Jones’ space phone.

NOTE:  BOLD = BQB; ITALICS = ANN

51LzhZZAQ2L._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_Q.   Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to, does it?  Take my pal, Bernie Plotznick, for instance.  All he ever wanted to do was become a successful rap mogul but instead, he’s freaking…

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