Tag Archives: youtube

The Bookshelf Battle Rap was Snubbed by the Grammys

Hey 3.5 music fans.

BQB here.

I’ve been carrying some disappointment for a week or so now but have been waiting to comment until I process my emotions.

Now that I’ve had time to calm down, I must say the Grammys were quite remiss in not offering a nomination to the Bookshelf Battle Rap.

Honestly, if there was a better rap song about a fat ass yeti getting roundhouse kicked in the face by a magic bookshelf caretaker offered up in 2017, I did not hear it.  Did you?

Now that I’ve had some time to process my disappointment, I must say the #GRAMMYs were remiss in not offering a nomination to the Bookshelf Battle Rap.

#rap #rappers #music #youtube

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If you’re just joining us…

…I got tired of trying to explain to people what this fine blog is all about, so I paid this lady to do it for me:

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Hitler Reacts to BQB

Hey 3.5 readers.

Did you know that Hitler used to read this blog?  I’m not bragging…I mean, you can’t control who your 3.5 readers are.  I’m just surprised that at the close of World War II, when the allies were closing in on Berlin, he didn’t have anything to do other than to bitch about how shitty my blog was…is?

I don’t know how he read it in 1945.  Time traveling web browser, maybe.

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Somewhere Over the Rainbow vs. There’s No Place Like Home

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB again.  Really, who else would it be?

Another observation about “The Wizard of Oz.”

There are two sentiments expressed in this movie, and they are very much opposed to one another.

In the beginning, Dorothy sings, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” i.e. somewhere out there is a whole shit ton of happiness…it’s out there, I swear.  It’s coming just around the corner.  It’s right there…over the rainbow.  You can’t get over a rainbow?  You can see the rainbow but you can’t get over it?  Don’t worry.  That amazing happiness is coming.

Then at the end, that bitch Glenda tells Dorothy that her ruby slippers held the power to bring her back to Kansas all along.  I call Glenda a bitch because she could have told Dorothy up front that her slippers could bring her back home and saved her a lot of trouble.

However, Glenda makes a good point.  Dorothy had to struggle through various ordeals in order to figure out that her happiness wasn’t in a fantasyland but it was at her home all along.

To put it all together, Dorothy thinks life in Kansas sucks big time balls.  She has to do chores and live on a shitty farm and get bossed around by Aunty Em and there’s an old bitch in the neighborhood who is constantly trying to murder her dog.

So she dreams of a better life in a better place.  But then she gets there and learns it is even harder.  To get anywhere good in Oz, she has to fight a witch that can throw fireballs, fend off winged monkeys, venture into a spooky forest, and help three assholes find their heart, courage and brains, respectively.

In short, she was better off at home.

Are you better off at home than chasing a dream?  Hard to say.  Dorothy fought through all the bullshit only to find out that her dream, i.e. a magical wizard named Oz who could grant all her wishes, was just a dumb ass hiding behind a screen.

Your dream might be real.  To get there, you might have to fight through a lot of shit and, well, yeah, you might get there and your dream might turn out to be bullshit, the equivalent of a charlatan working a fake head from behind a screen.

So maybe you are better off at home….better off in your shitty farm house with your Aunt and Uncle who love you and three apparently single, middle-aged farm hands who are capable of viewing a young girl as their friend and not engage in any perverted activities because it was the 1930s Midwest and adults were considered to only have good intentions toward children, not all how perverted and messed up it is today.

What do you think, 3.5 readers?  Is happiness over the rainbow, or is it at home?

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I Paid Money for This Too…

…so watch it, you nerds.  I have to get my money’s worth:

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I Paid Money for This…

…so I feel like I have to run it every once in awhile:

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Hitler Video

I was surprised Hitler had that much time to worry about me:

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Bookshelf Battle Rap

I spent actual money on this, so I have to trot it out once in awhile.  Enjoy.

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Bookshelf Battle Cast – Episode 1 – “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens” – Stave 1 – Marley’s Ghost – Discussion and Study Questions

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Huzzah, 3.5 readers!

The Bookshelf Battle Cast lives!  Yes, on this fine blog, I’ll be reviewing pop cultural happenings, attempting to be funny, and telling you all about my adventures as a magic bookshelf caretaker, yeti fighter and so on.

The podcast will be very different.  I am very, very far from being the world’s greatest vocal talent, so I’ll be playing it straight.  Each episode, I’ll be reading a piece of public domain literature.  After you listen to me read it in my mush mouth voice, stop by this incredible blog for a discussion and study questions.

FYI – apologies.  I’m new to this.  There were some technical difficulties.  I said I’d let my spokeswoman tell you all about who I am, but for some reason, Garageband did not like that file.  It became a big production to try to re-record the podcast, so I’ll try to figure out that for the next one.  Forgive me people, I’m learning as I go.

Oh well.  Check out what my spokeswoman would have said here:

In Stave 1 – “Marley’s Ghost” we begin with a classic line in literature – “Marley was dead to begin with.  Scrooge pops the joyous bubble of his nephew and local charity collectors, only to be warned by the ghost of his fellow usurer Jacob Marley that if he doesn’t change his ways, he’ll be a ghost too, forced to trudge the world with chains attached to him, lamenting the life he wasted on counting coins instead of helping the less fortunate.

STUDY QUESTIONS:

#1 – Dickens really, really, really wants the reader to know up front that Jacob Marley is dead, engaging in humor to insist, almost to a ridiculous degree, that he’s dead.  What’s the point of that?

#2 – Scrooge’s nephew states to his uncle that there are things that exist that bring him no monetary profit, but they make his life better just the same.  Christmas, says the nephew, is one of those things.  Is the nephew a positive thinker, a man who knows how to build spiritual wealth, or do you side with Scrooge, i.e. the wealth in your piggy bank is all that matters?  Can you think of some things that don’t bring you a monetary profit but still enrich your life?  Would you give those things up in order to make more money?  Can money buy happiness?

#3 – The charity collectors attempt to separate Scrooge from some of his dough, arguing that men of means have a duty to provide aid and comfort to the poor.  Scrooge counters with the claim that he supports prisons, union workhouses and so on (through taxes) and thus doesn’t owe the poor anything else.  What say you?  Are taxes enough, or should people with bucks to spare share them with the poor as well?

#4 – Jacob Marley is a ghost.  Chains and cash boxes and other monetary related devices are attached to him.  He must drag them around wherever he goes.  Further, Jacob spent his life never venturing past the counting-house, collecting money and ignoring the plight of the poor.  His punishment, like the punishment of the many souls Scrooge sees outside, is that in death, he must wander the world, seeing all the things he could have experienced and enjoyed in life, but now is unable to do so because he’s dead.

Will you be a ghost one day?  That’s a bigger discussion.  You will be old one day though…and your body will eventually give out on you.  When you’re old and gray and your knees fail, your body gives up and it exhausts you to walk more than five feet, what will you wish you had done in your youth?

CHALLENGE: Make a list of things you want to do before it’s too late to enjoy them…then DO THEM!  Picture your afterlife as a Jacob Marley-esque ghost, forced to drag chains and wander the world.  What would you like to see and do so that, if you ever become such a ghost, you can be happy knowing you got to do those things when you were alive?

Thanks for listening, 3.5 listeners.  The second stave will be out as soon as possible.

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BQB’s Favorite YouTubers – Straight Outta Gotham

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

I came across this video by a group calling themselves the “Castanet Creative.”  It’s pretty funny, so check it out.

At first glance, it seems like a pretty standard parody by a bunch of buddies who got together to make a YouTube video.

But if you really look at it, it’s clear they were fans of the original Straight Outta Compton video by NWA, so much so that they copy all the scenes.  Batman and Robin chasing the villains through back alleys, Riddler getting slammed down and cuffed, the Joker standing up in a top down sports car, rapping insults at Batman ala Easy E.

Kudos.  These peeps have an eye for detail and that made this video 100% funnier.

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