Tag Archives: kindle

My Big Book of Badass Writing Prompts is Free All Week!

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal BQB here.  My big book of Badass Writing Prompts is free all this week on Amazon.

Free.  Gratis.  You pay zilch, zero, nada.  So, if you want to help keep the lights on around here, all you need do is go and download a copy, for free, and that’s it.  Leave a review and you’d be helping a lot but otherwise, just give me a download to add to my states.

Thanks, 3.5:

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My Book is Scarily Awesome!

Hey 3.5 Hallo-weiners.

BQB here.  Boo!  And so forth.  Sorry, I’ m out of candy because I ate it and told the kids to get jobs and buy their own because this isn’t Russia and we aren’t filthy commies.

But that’s ok because I have the best treat ever.  My book of Badass Writing Prompts is only 99 cents and well, if you’ve been reading this blog, and I know 3.5 of you have, then, you know, I don’t mean to be a dick, but come on, open up your wallet and make a tiny contribution towards keeping the lights on in BQB HQ.

There’s nothing scarier than a writer who has not read my badass book of writing prompts, that’s for sure:

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My Prices Are Insane!

I’m Crazy BQB and my prices are insane!  Last chance to get yourself a free copy of my book, 3.5 readers:

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My book is free!

No strings attached.  Download it for free on Amazon.  Read it.  Don’t read it.  You don’t have to do anything other than get a free book:

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BQB’s Book is Climbing the Charts!

Check it out, 3.5 readers:

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I’m #14 in the Top 100 Books in the Free Writing Skills Reference Category.

Can we drive this higher?  Bookshelf Q. Battler’s Big Book of Badass Writing Prompts is going to be free all weekend.  Why not grab a free copy, give it a badass review, and work on some of the prompts and share your results with your blog audience?

Tell your friends, social media followers, etc.

I’m not getting any younger people.  I know.  I read your blogs.  You’re all like “Oh la dee da I’m in the writing game for the artistic wonder of it all” and I’d like to say that in it for that but, you know, also…fame and fortune.  And parties in Malibu mansions filled with scantily clad women…parties that aren’t going to happen unless you download your free copy today.

3.5 READERS:  Oh, that’s awesome BQB.  We love you so much and we’re going to thank you for all the free entertainment you’ve provided for us over the years by downloading your book for free.

Thank you 3.5 readers.  I love you too.  Download my book for free here.

 

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Have You Gotten Your Free Copy Yet?

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal BQB here.

So, it was a semi-exciting day today.

Last night, I began a free promo for BQB’s Badass Writing Prompts.  That’s right, you can get your very own free copy by clicking here.  That’ll last till Monday, June 12, when it will go back up to $2.99, so…uh…how do marketers do this?  Act fast!  Get your free copy today!  My prices are insane!  I’m Crazy BQB and all my books are priced so low they ought to lock me up in the funny farm!

But I digress.  Like a proud papa with a new baby, I checked on the status of my book all day today and was delighted to see that the free promo was helping it move up the charts:

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#33 in Kindle Store – Kindle E books – Reference – Writing, Research and Publishing Guides – Writing Skills?  Huh, sounds awesome. (Note that apparently means it is in the top 100 of the free part of this section.  At least that’s what I think it means.  I am still new to all of this.)

#9,637 in Free Kindle Store?  Huh, well, there’s still 9,636 peeps ahead of me but ok, that sounds pretty awesome too.

So, being a total novice at this I thought, “Hmm…I mean, I’m not in this game to give stuff away for free and make no money but these rankings sound so awesome that I must have given away like thousands of copies.  Think of it as a down payment.  Give out lots of free books today and readers will turn into fans who will pay for your stuff tomorrow.”

But then I checked out my figures.  15 free copies.  15.  And seriously, I love all 15 of you but I really thought I’d of given away like thousands of copies.

At any rate, I’m not sure how these rankings are figured but my book has been moving up in the ranks all day so however it is done, I’m just going to say thank you to Amazon and Lord Bezos, Supreme Commander of the Internet and All Digital Media He Surveys Until He Conquers the Globe…OR HAS HE ALREADY AND LEFT US NONE THE WISER?  MUAH HA HA!

But seriously.  I know.  15 copies is nothing to sneeze at.  It’s still early.  And the one thing I have always noticed about online media is it is one of few activities I have participated in where the results get better every year.

Long story short, I hope you’ll take advantage of this free promo.  I’m not asking you 3.5 readers to do much.  Just download a free copy.  If you like it, give it a fab review.  If you have any thoughts you’d like to share, let me know.

AND – do keep in mind it is a book filled with writing prompts, so if you’re a blogger and you’re looking for ideas to blog about, here’s your chance to get some inspiration.

Thank you, 3.5 readers.

Bookshelf Q battlers for Amazon

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BQB’s Big Book of Badass Writing Prompts – Free June 8 – June 12

That’s right, 3.5 readers.  You can save all 3.5 of your dollars, for my debut book, Bookshelf Q. Battler’s Big Book of Badass Writing Prompts is going to be free starting today, Thursday, June 8 all the way through Monday, June 12.

Save your money, or spend it on comic books, candy and whoopie cushions.  All I want is for all 3.5 of you to mosey on over to Amazon, download my book for free and if you like it, perhaps you’d be so kind as to leave a nice review.

If you don’t like it, did you know the Internet is full of cat videos?

Better yet, this book contains 101 Badass Writing Prompts plus a number of bonus sections.  If you’re stuck for your next topic to blog about, why not write a short story based on one of these fine prompts and share it with your 3.5 readers?

FREE people!  Absolutely free!  I’m Crazy BQB and my prices are so low I’m practically giving these e-books away!

Don’t forget I’m enrolled in Amazon KDP so if you have access to the Kindle lending library, then you’ll be able to get this fabulous book for free long after this promotion ends but seriously, why wait?  I’d tell you no one likes a procrastinator, but I’m just going to put that off and tell you tomorrow instead.

Bookshelf Q battlers for Amazon

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I’m Worried About My Sales

3.5 readers, BQB here.

I don’t mean to alarm you, but as we draw near to the end of the first day of my first book being available for purchase on Amazon, I’m growing increasingly concerned about my sales figures, which, as you can see by this handy chart, are non-existent:

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Fellow self-publishers, let’s have a rap session as they used to say in the 1970s.  What suggestions do you have for me, a first time self-publisher, to get my sales skyrocketing?

I mean, I know I’m supposed to manage my expectations, but I really thought I’d be in a Malibu beach house in a hot tub full of supermodels by now and yet I can barely afford a cold shower and a nudey magazine.

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Amazon’s $50 Tablet

Amazon has released a $50 tablet.

They’re so cheap you can buy a 5-pack for $250.

Use them as stocking stuffers.  Hell, leave one by your bed, one in your car, one at the office, one on your kitchen table, toss them all over and you won’t be without a tablet next time you need one.

Does your kid keep bugging you for your tablet?  Give them this one so they won’t get their greasy fingers all over yours.

Are they any good?  God I hope not or else I overspent on my last tablet.

What’s Amazon up to?  Assumably, they want to get their products into the hands of as many people as possible and are reaching into the market of folks who normally couldn’t afford a tablet…which is a good thing.

That or perhaps with Apple and Samsung tearing up the tablet market, perhaps they might think “$50 bucks could convince an Apple user to try us out.”

And they’re right.  I’ve been curious about Kindle, but not enough to abandon my iPad.  $50 might convince me to check it out.

What will it mean for us aspiring scribes?  More people with tablets=more readers?

More readers for other people.  I only have 3.5.

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Ask the Alien – 4/26/15 – Iggy, Jennifer, and Daniel Waltz’ “The Water Travelers”

By:  Alien Jones, Intergalactic Columnist, Most Intelligent Being in the Universe

PREVIOUSLY ON ASK THE ALIEN:

AJ’s Relatives, Orcs, and Sci-Fi Gary

Alien artifacts and diseases!

Pixels!

AND NOW ASK THE ALIEN CONTINUES…

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Greetings Earth Losers!  Alien Jones here beaming copious amounts of knowledge through the Bookshelf Battle Compound and straight into all of your computerized devices which, though they may seem highly advanced to you rubes, are actually considered children’s toys in most other parts of space.

Who has a question?  Come forward and declare your inquiry!

BQB:  Hey AJ.  It’s me.  Bookshelf Q. Battler.

AJ:  Oh Cripes.  Not many takers this week?

BQB:  Well, you’re the one who told me to stop bribing the winos.  But seriously, I have a question – what is the best song ever produced?

AJ:  Ahh, that is an excellent question but I could not possibly answer it.  There are so many, where would I begin?  Do I limit the field of inquiry to a particular genre?  To a group of artists?  To a select time period?  To a single planet?  The realm of possibility is so vast that…

BQB:  I’ll save you the “trouble.”  It’s Trouble by Iggy Azalea and Jennifer Hudson.

AJ:  You can’t just say that a song is the best song ever produced, why that’s….

BQB:  Sing it.

AJ:  No I couldn’t possibly…

BQB:  You know you want to.

AJ:  It would be indignified…

BQB:  Do it!

AJ:  I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT YOU WERE BAD NEWS…FROM THE BAD BOY DEMEANOR AND THE TATTOOS….TAKE IT BOOKSHELF….

BQB:  DON’T YOU COME IN THINKIN’ YOU BALLIN….it’s so great isn’t it?

AJ:  It really is.  I stand corrected.  This song is the best song ever composed in the history of the space/time continuum.

BQB:  Makes Beethoven look like a pile of crap.

AJ:  We shall sing it during the commercials on Scandal night!

BQB:  Damn straight.  But first, you have a question…

Daniel Waltz, author of “The Water Travelers” asks:

ALIEN JONES,

Have you ever water traveled?

Oh Daniel, I see what you did there.  You worked the title of your book series into your question.  Good show!  For BQB’s 3.5 readers, I’ll note that your site provides a description of your latest installment, The Curse of Senapin. Here’s an excerpt:

“For the past six months, Aaron and Madi have been waiting to receive word from Yerowslii. But, when the King of Upitar is taken captive by Senapin forces, Aaron and Madi must flee their hiding place to rescue him. Although skeptical of it, they are accompanied by a disloyal ally, Ugine.”

Daniel Waltz, The Water Travelers

Bookshelf Q. Battler and I can relate.  On our joint missions to make the Earth a more intelligent place, we’re often accompanied by The Yeti and he’s the most disloyal and ugly ally I’ve ever seen.

I was quite impressed with your book trailer:

BQB:  My socks were knocked right the hell off, AJ.  At first I was like, “Twenty one seconds?  That’s too short…”

AJ:  Yes, but “Adventure finds those who are brave enough to take the first step.”  That’s all you need to know.  If I had emotions, I’d be moved.

BQB:  Plus it’s read by someone who sounds like he could be a friggin’ Lord of the Rings wizard or something.  Very awesome.  Makes me want to rush right on over to Amazon and buy a zillion copies…

Now, at first I thought Daniel was just trying to find out if I like to water ski or snorkel or something (which I do) but he’s actually referring to a power discussed in the book that allows travel between another world and Earth through water.

To answer your question, no.  I don’t need to.  I’m a duly designated officer of the Intergalactic Space Force and as such I have a vast array of ships at my disposal, so there’s no reason to get my pants wet.  (When I bother to wear them.  I usually don’t because, you know, I’ve got nothing down there so what’s the point?)

Your book is very prophetic though because certain species have been “water traveling” for years.  In fact, there’s an entire planet where anchovies rule like kings, love like queens, laugh like jesters, and live like jacks.  Then they water travel on over to Earth and end up as a dinner entrée topping.  Don’t you feel bad now for putting them on your pizza?

BQB:  I don’t think anyone put anchovies on their pizza anymore AJ.  I think they just keep one can around for the random weirdo who wants a fishy pizza.

AJ:  Sounds like something The Yeti would be into.

Thank you for your question Daniel.  May your career as an author travel farther than the vast reaches of the cosmos.

Until next week, this is Alien Jones, signing off.

Alien Jones is the Intergalactic Correspondent for the Bookshelf Battle. Do you have a question for the Esteemed Brainy One? Submit it to Bookshelf Q. Battler via a tweet to @bookshelfbattle, leave it in the comment section on this site, or drop it off on the Bookshelf Battle Google + page. If AJ likes your question, he might promote your book, blog, or other project while providing his answer.

Submit your questions by midnight Friday each week for a chance to be featured in his Sunday column. And if you don’t like his response, just let him know and he’ll file it into the recycling bin of his monolithic super computer. No muss, no fuss, no problem.

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