Tag Archives: action

Movie Review – Absolution (2024)

He’s got a particular set of skills…if only he could remember them.

BQB here with a review of the latest Liam Neeson flick.

About 15 years ago, Liam Neeson had a surprise hit with “Taken” and thus ushered in a new era where he was reinvented as an old man action movie star. It’s not like he had much competition because Hollywood would rather lose millions than put a macho man on screen but that’s another post for another time.

I’ll be honest, none of the Liam action flicks that came next ever matched up to Taken, even Taken 2 and 3 (you’d think these idiots would stop letting themselves get taken). Like M Night Shyamalan who made one great movie with a fantastic twist at the end only to make a dozen movies with stupid twists at the end, Liam could never quite capture lightening in the bottle.

That’s not to say EVERY Liam action film was bad. There were many that are worth your time. A few that come to mind – The Commuter, The Ice Road and 2019’s Cold Pursuit blends dark comedy and action together such that in my mind, it’s the only one that comes close to living up to the Taken legacy.

But since 2020, Liam has released a string of movies that were, in my opinion, total dogshit. They just seemed like a cash grab, someone slapped together a bare bones action movie flick script and stuck the old guy in there for a pay day. The last couple I literally only watched half before I said eff it and turned it off because I was so bored I couldnt get through the last half.

And worse, all his latest movies feature him as an old tough guy who is dying from something and has to make amends before he croaks, and they crowbar a romance in for him with a 40 year old woman because God fordbid a 70 year old movie star be seen on screen with a 70 year old woman.

Anyway…now that preamble is out of the way, let me tell you about this movie where Liam once again stars as an elderly tough guy who is dying from something and has a romance with a 40 year old woman crowbarred in. This time I made it through the end. You might say I had to since I bought a ticket to see it in the theater but I wouldn’t steer you wrong. If I streamed this one on Netflix I’d still watch it till the end because it is better than his usual slapped together faire.

Liam stars as a no named (credited as “The Thug”) aging gangster who has lived a total scumbag’s life. He does jobs for Boston mobster Charlie Connor (Ron Pearlman) and has been given the task of teaching Connor’s hothead young son Kyle (played by Daniel Diemar) how to make it in the criminal underworld so he can take the reigns one day from his equally elderly Pops. The Thug’s advice for the youngblood? Just don’t do it. This is the kind of life that you do because you HAVE to but when you come from money, you’ll never make it. You’ll never be able to bring yourself to do the things you have to do to make it as a criminal if you can afford not to.

A chance encounter with “The Woman” (boy this movie likes to withhold names) played by Yolanda Ross begins a romance between two people who understand each other. Both have lived lousy lives and both understand the pain the comes with having to do things that are morally wrong just to live another day.

It looks like this romance might bring one small sliver of sunshine into the life of an old man who has known nothing but pain when he starts noticing he is forgetting little things. A diagnosis of a brain disease comes with terrible news – his memory will slip more and more until he will no longer be able to take care of himself. Throughout the film we see him forget more and more and it comes with the anger and violent rage that often comes when similarly afflicted people are frustrated when they can’t remember basic things.

Thus, the clock starts ticking. With a notepad to remind him of the deets, Thug sets out to make amends to those he has wronged, in particular his estranged daughter who hates him and wants nothing to do with him and a victim of one of his recent crimes that he never intended to victimize. To level up the stakes, someone is trying to kill him and he needs to figure out who.

Overall I give it a solid B. It’s worth your time. Not sure its worth a trip to the theater but definitely stream it someday. You won’t want to watch it again and again and in 6 months, you will have forgotten it, not because you have a brain disease but because it isn’t that memorable.

I will say though the title of the movie is “absolution” and it is film about a man trying to make up for past sins. It’s a film about intergenerational trauma, as Thug’s daughter explains, Thug is bad because his father was bad as was his father before, all the way back to the first “asshole caveman who spawned them all.” We carry pain our parents pass down and we have to try to not pass that pain on to our kids even though we often can’t help but do so even when we are trying not to. And we never truly start to get better until we admit we have done wrong and try to make amends with those we have wronged. So it does have a good message about how its impossible to change yet you don’t get better until you try to change. If that makes sense.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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Movie Review: Bad Boys: Ride or Die (2024)

Bad boys bad boys. What you gonna do? What you gonna do when BQB leaves a review?

Hey 3.5 readers. Your old pal BQB here with a review of the latest installment of the Bad Boys franchise.

It’s funny but I lead most reviews off now with my observations on how the film did at my local theater. I fear the theater industry is on life support and I hope the industry will do something to solve that because I don’t want theaters to become a thing of the past.

The past few films I’ve seen in the theater had sparse attendance whereas this one played to a packed house at my local theater. It was nice to see everyone having a great time and laughing at a film with plenty of jokes. At this point, Bad Boys is one of those flicks where viewers know what they’re getting. You probably won’t think much of it a day later, but you’ll have a fun time during the show.

The plot? Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are back as buddy cops Mike and Marcus. This time they are out to clear the name of their deceased Captain Conrad. A cabal of crooked operatives working with crooked cops, Miami city officials and a drug cartel have pinned their crimes on the late captain who died in the last film but returns in flashbacks and recorded messages, played by Joe Pantaliono.

The script is a bit flipped – because of a recent heart attack that he survives, Marcus gets a new lease on life that causes him to take insane risks, much to the chagrin of Mike. Usually, Mike is the risk taker and Marcus is the one to complain about the danger.

I enjoyed this. Lots of good action, special effects. It just seems rare to get a good cop action flick these days. And if you can recall the previous films, hard because the first one came out in 1995, there’s continuity with old familiar faces and fan favorites stopping by.

One thing I’ll give this franchise credit for. I’ve always felt this franchise handles race well. You have white, black, latino and other races, all working together. They care about each other, back each other up, go to bat for one another and sure, there are jokes about race but its never heavy handed or in your face the way you’d see it on Netflix or any of the other super woke streaming services these days.

The downside? Martin and Will are getting a little long in the tooth and it makes me sad to see that given I feel like I saw their first adventure just yesterday. Where does the time go? Also, I always liked Will Smith so much that whenever I saw him on screen it was like seeing an old friend. This was his first movie post the Oscars Chris Rock slap and as a fan, I’ll just never be able to look at him the same way again. I suppose its akin to having a long time friend who did something wrong – you still want him to do well, but you know he should experience some consequences for his actions. What is the right call? Should he never be in a movie ever again? Would that be too much? Probably but maybe he should have sat out another year or two. IDK.

All in all, a decent action flick. Good but not great.

STATUS: Shelf worthy.

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Movie Review – The Ice Road (2021)

The ice! The road! The Ice Road!

BQB here with a review of Liam Neeson’s latest action flick.

Did you ever wonder what would happen if Ice Road Truckers was turned into a movie? This is it. Ice road trucking finally hits the silver screen.

Liam, who apparently does 100 old man action flicks a year in his sleep now, stars as Mike McCann, an old trucker recently fired after punching out a fellow trucker who was making fun of his brother, Gurty, (Marcus Thomas) a war veteran who suffers from PTSD and aphasia, meaning everyone’s trying to put the poor guy in a home which would be a waste as he can take apart and reassemble a truck engine like nobody’s business.

Long story short, a bunch of miners get trapped in a mine after a gas explosion caves them in. Holt McCallany, the toughest tough guy to ever come out of Netflix, plays the head miner who has to keep the other miners from flipping out while the company assembles a rescue team.

Said team takes the form of Liam’s Mike and brother Gurty, Tantoo, a sassy Native truck driver Tantoo (Amber Midthunder) and Laurence Fishburne as Jim Goldenrod, who must drive a three truck convoy over the icy roads that traverse various bodies of water in the icy depths of Canada. As we are told in great detail, ice road trucking is a dangerous feat, for to drive too fast or too slow or to make any mistake, really, will result in a big rig and its driver plunging into the ice, never to return. One wonders why anyone does it in the first place, though I suppose those who dare are super macho and deserving of much praise.

Ah, but there is danger afoot as evildoers want to stop the convoy from bringing the much needed rescue equipment to the collapsed mine. Much to my surprise, Matt McCoy is the villain of the film, and I haven’t seen that guy in a movie since he played Mahoney’s replacement in the later installments of the Police Academy movie series.

Overall a fun film, though you might have to suspend disbelief and not ask yourself questions like, “Wouldn’t a professional mining company already have life saving equipment on site?” and “Would anyone really want to stop a life saving convoy from reaching its destination?” and “Has Liam Neeson made a deal with the devil that allows him to play the tough guy in every action movie until he turns 100?”

It is pretty cool that Netflix made this movie. Their flicks have been a little lackluster as of late, so this one’s worth a watch.

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It’s Nicolas Cage Day at BQB HQ!

Hey 3.5 readers.

Did you know that Nic Cage, despite coming off as kind of a loon today, was perhaps one of the most bankable action film stars of the 1990s?

Yes.  And as I do some house cleaning here at BQB HQ, I’m letting his hits run in the background.  First, The Rock, which is really a great movie and next Con Air which isn’t as good but is still pretty good.  Face/Off is also great but I actually watched that recently so I probably won’t watch it again anytime soon.

Those are his big three.  He did National Treasure in the 2000s but that’s more of like a family friendly Disney action film whereas his 1990s work is grittier.

You know what movie of his I never saw?  Leaving Las Vegas.  Not an action film but I might check it out sometime.

Anyway, I felt it important to advise you all of my Nic Cage watching activities.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger Impression

Hey 3.5 readers.

Will you please drop what you are doing and listen to “Not Arnold Schwarzenegger” make fun of me, my fat flabbiness, my lack of muscles and love of pizza and so on?

Hey by the way, “The Bookshelf Battle Cast” is on iTunes so, yeah, go listen, subscribe, vote, leave a review.

This little soundbite is short, and is hilarious so, check it out:

 

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Toilet Gator – Chapter 99

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“Cole!” Sharon shouted. “Are you crazy?!”

Cole gripped the gator’s skin with every ounce of strength he had in him, holding on tight as Skippy pressed forward, bucking wildly to the left and right in a vain attempt to throw Cole off while he chased the Diablo.

A bullet whizzed past Cole’s head.

“Rusty, you asshole!” Cole screamed. “Cease fire!”

The skies opened and the rain poured down heavily. This made it even more difficult for Cole to hold on. Plus, the poor weather interfered with the group cell phone conversation. Cole could barely make out the words that were being spoken to him through the static.

“My bad,” Rusty said. “Bzztt bssshhhkktz…I was aiming at the gator.”

Cole pulled out a long, incredibly sharp combat knife with a jagged edge from a sheath clipped to his belt. He used his left hand to clutch the gator’s hide even harder, while he used his right hand to raise the blade high into the air and bring it down onto the gator’s head.

Snap! The blade broke off as soon as it hit the gator’s head, flew into the air and clattered on the highway below.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Cole said.

“Cole,” came the voice of Maude in Cole’s ear. “Are you ever gonna put on some pants or are you just gonna let your tucas flap in the breeze all day for the entire world to see?”

“Not exactly my top priority right now, Maude!” Cole said.

“Yeah, well, make it a priority to get off that gator,” Maude said. “How in the hell am I going to shove this big rig up his ass when you’re riding him like Seabiscuit?”

Cole turned to the right and looked at the giant, gator-sized dent in the trailer attached to the right Burt was driving. “Doesn’t look like it will work.”

“Won’t hurt to try,” Maude said.

Sharon and Rusty were ahead of Cole. Maude’s truck was to the left. Burt’s truck remained on the right. Behind him? A plethora of fast moving cars that were virtually certain to run him over if the gator didn’t find a way to mangle him first.

Cole spotted a bright, shiny grab bar next to the driver’s side door of Burt’s truck.

“Here goes nothing,” Cole said. With his one and only leg, he pushed off of Skippy’s back, narrowly missed being snapped between a set of gator jaws, and snagged hold of the grab bar with his right hand.
Burt rolled down his window. “Son, you must have a death wish!”

The old man kept one hand on the wheel of the big rig and offered Cole his left hand. Cole grabbed it, shimmied through the open window and into the passenger’s side of the cab.

“Oh God,” Cole said as he struggled to catch his breath. “Oh my God.”

“Looks like killing a toilet gator is harder than we thought,” Burt said.

“You think?” Cole asked.

The Diablo swerved and sideswiped Maude’s rig.

“Whoa,” Maude said. “Watch it there, girly!”

“This thing handles like shit in the rain!” Sharon said. “I’ve got to get off.”

“Take the next exit,” Cole said. “We’ll head downtown and box him in.”

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Toilet Gator – Chapter 96

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“Felix!” Cole shouted as he pressed the red button over and over. “Why isn’t this thing working?!”

“Errm.”

“Do you know?!”

“Errm, errm.”

“Damn it!”

Cole raised his Angry Barracuda, drew a bead right between the alligator’s eyes and fired. Blam! Nothing. Two more shots. Blam, blam! Nothing.

“I could use some backup!” Cole shouted.

“You got it, buddy,” Rusty said.

The Diablo zigged and zagged around gaggles of people, occasionally taking out a mall kiosk here and there. Sharon zoomed right through a pretzel cart, sending salty treats and hot mustard everywhere.

The sunroof of the sports car opened up and Rusty popped out with SAW in hand. He aimed the machine gun at the gator and spit hellfire at the beast. Every ounce of hot lead simply bounced off of the alligator’s tough skin.

Cole put both hands on the rope and attempted to pull himself in. This was no easy feet, as the car was moving like lightning and swerving about in an erratic manner. Plus, Rusty’s shell casings were popping out into the air and many of them were peppering Cole right in the face.

Skippy plowed through the shopping cart that had been previously pushed by the old lady who was very concerned about…

“My bread and milk!”

The old woman through her purse at Skippy’s head. Enraged, the big green monster turned and gobbled up the old gal in one bite, then charged at various other passersby. Several soldiers spotted the beast and opened fire on it.

“Stop the car!” Cole shouted.

Sharon jammed on the brakes, causing Cole to sail right into the bumper, back first. “Oww.”

“You OK?” Sharon asked.
“No,” Cole said. “Pop the trunk.”

Sharon pressed a button and the trunk flew up. Cole crawled inside. “I’ve got road rash on my balls something fierce.”

“TMI,” Rusty said. “TMI.”

Sharon hit the gas. Skippy, upon hearing the revving engine, continued his pursuit.

Cole pulled some spare rounds out of his shirt pocket and reloaded the Angry Barracuda. He and Rusty bombarded Skippy with a storm of bullets.

“Guys,” Sharon said as the Diablo quickly approached the big glass doors of the mall front entrance. “Hold on.”

“What?” Cole asked.

Rusty took his finger off the trigger and turned around. The mall entrance was coming fast and he pulled himself down into the car just in time to avoid losing his head.

Skippy didn’t show the slightest bit of exhaustion as he pursued the Diablo into the mall parking lot.

“Maude,” Cole said. “It’s time for Plan B.”

“Plan B, on the move, Chief,” Maude said. “10-4.”

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BQB’s Classic Movie Reviews – Escape from New York (1981)

A big ass scoped revolver!  A silenced Uzi!  Kurt Russell in his prime!

BQB here with a review of the 1980s action thriller, Escape from New York.

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I’m surprised I never got around to seeing this one, 3.5 readers.  Made in 1981, it envisions a futuristic 1997, one where crime has risen so dramatically that the entire island of Manhattan has been turned into one giant prison to hold all the riff raff.

While the outskirts of the island are heavily guarded by a security team lead by Warden Hauk (Lee Van Cleef), prisoners on the island are allowed to wander about freely and do whatever they please – killing, maiming, and destroying as much as they want.

Seems like a foolproof plan for ridding America of it’s ne’er-do-wells…until the President’s plane crashes right in the middle of it.

As luck would have it, war hero turned bank robber, the ultra macho, constantly brooding, eye-patch wearing Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell) is about to be deposited on the island as a prisoner when the shit hits the fan.

Hauk and Snake play let’s make a deal.  If Snake saves the President (Donald Pleasance), he’ll go free.

High stakes, huh?  To double the stakes, the President was on the way to a conference with important information in his possession that could stop a nuclear war from breaking out.  Thus, the world will be screwed if Snake fails.

Moreover, to triple the stakes, a device is implanted in Snake’s neck that will blow his head off if he doesn’t return with the president within twenty-two hours.  No pressure.

It’s Snake to the rescue as he fights all sorts of weirdoes, and even makes some allies along the way.  Ernest Borgnine provides comic relief as Cabbie, a molotov cocktail wielding yellow cab driver.  Harry Dean Stanton stars as Snake’s frenemy (friend/enemy), “Brain” while Adrienne Barbeau is eye candy Maggie, although she has sort of an odd hair style that never really made it out of the 1980s.

What’s a movie without a villain?  That role goes to Isaac Hayes, “the Duke of New York,” who holds the president hostage.  He does his best to be menacing, though whenever he speaks, I have a hard time not thinking of Chef from South Park.

Meanwhile, Van Cleef’s Hauk is sort of a good villain, a man who puts the screws to Snake in order to get him to do something good.

Van Cleef, who passed away in 1989, was mostly known for playing villains, especially the roles he played opposite Clint Eastwood in For a Few Dollars More and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

I’ve seen these films, but it took me a minute to recognize him without a cowboy outfit on.

The 1980s is the Golden Age of action cinema.  The special effects were just starting to get good.  Audiences were less turned off by violence.  The country was still getting over Vietnam, so moviegoers were sympathetic to an action hero trapped in a shitty situation by forces bigger than he was.

As a kid, I grew up on a steady diet of Schwarzenegger and Stallone, so I am surprised it took me so long to see this one.  It’s got all the standard action tropes, but for whatever reason, I just don’t recall it being as popular as say, The Terminator, a film that everyone was talking about in those days.

One part that made me sad – the World Trade Center plays a prominent role in the film.  To avoid detection, Snake flies a silent glider into the city and lands it on the roof of one of the towers, with the intention of flying it off the tower later, seeing as how it is the only building tall enough for a glider to take off from.

It made me sad, seeing as how those buildings aren’t there anymore, though I suppose technically, the movie still holds up as they were there in 1997, the year the film is set in.

STATUS:  Shelf-worthy.  There is some cheesiness and the special effects, though not up to modern snuff, were likely the best available at the time.  Also, it was directed by John Carpenter, who gave us the Halloween franchise.  Watch it on Netflix.

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Nine Weeks of Toilet Gator Sundays!

Happy Easter, 3.5 readers.  Do yourself a favor.  Cancel all your plans with family and friends.

Instead of that whole mess, kick back with a beer and a chocolate bunny and read the greatest novel ever written about an alligator who pops out of toilets and bites people on the butt.

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Movie Trailer – John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017)

Hey 3.5 readers.

2014’s John Wick was such a special, under the radar surprise.  It didn’t get half the play it deserved and really grew just by word of mouth.

I was blown away when I saw it.

How to even explain it?

Very quickly, you, the viewer, are presented with a world where there’s a lot going on, but there isn’t much to bog you down in the way of detailed nuance.

Wick is a legendary hitman who goes into retirement to make his wife happy, only to come out of retirement when a puppy gifted to him by his deceased wife is killed by an epic douche.

Yeah, I know, it sounds like an unlikely plot but it works.

And there are rules. Hitmen use special coins as currency and they can stay at a special hotel where they’re supposed to be safe for the duration of their stay.  And for a certain amount of coins, hitmen can make their victims’ bodies disappear no questions asked.

In other words, there’s a lot of rules but you learn them quickly and easily.

Plus, it was great to see Keanu Reeves in a big lead role again.

Shit, that man is well-preserved.

Anyway, John Wick has been given a second chapter.  My only hope is that this franchise doesn’t get too big for its britches. Sometimes when a movie is an understated success there is a desire to go bigger in the sequel and that doesn’t always necessarily work out.

It was the quick, snappy, clear and concise writing that made the first Wick movie a success, so I hope there’s more of it this go around.

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