Tag Archives: amwriting

Text of “The Tell-Tale Heart” by Edgar Allan Poe

Not to make this a Poe-fest, but he was the Father of American Gothic Horror, after all.  Bookshelfbattle.com ‘s Halloween festivities continue with the full text of The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe in its entirety:

THE TELL-TALE HEART

BY: EDGAR ALLAN POE

1843 

TRUE! –nervous –very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses –not destroyed –not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How, then, am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily –how calmly I can tell you the whole story.

It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night. Object there was none. Passion there was none. I loved the old man. He had never wronged me. He had never given me insult. For his gold I had no desire. I think it was his eye! yes, it was this! He had the eye of a vulture –a pale blue eye, with a film over it. Whenever it fell upon me, my blood ran cold; and so by degrees –very gradually –I made up my mind to take the life of the old man, and thus rid myself of the eye forever.

Now this is the point. You fancy me mad. Madmen know nothing. But you should have seen me. You should have seen how wisely I proceeded –with what caution –with what foresight –with what dissimulation I went to work! I was never kinder to the old man than during the whole week before I killed him. And every night, about midnight, I turned the latch of his door and opened it –oh so gently! And then, when I had made an opening sufficient for my head, I put in a dark lantern, all closed, closed, that no light shone out, and then I thrust in my head. Oh, you would have laughed to see how cunningly I thrust it in! I moved it slowly –very, very slowly, so that I might not disturb the old man’s sleep. It took me an hour to place my whole head within the opening so far that I could see him as he lay upon his bed. Ha! would a madman have been so wise as this, And then, when my head was well in the room, I undid the lantern cautiously-oh, so cautiously –cautiously (for the hinges creaked) –I undid it just so much that a single thin ray fell upon the vulture eye. And this I did for seven long nights –every night just at midnight –but I found the eye always closed; and so it was impossible to do the work; for it was not the old man who vexed me, but his Evil Eye. And every morning, when the day broke, I went boldly into the chamber, and spoke courageously to him, calling him by name in a hearty tone, and inquiring how he has passed the night. So you see he would have been a very profound old man, indeed, to suspect that every night, just at twelve, I looked in upon him while he slept.

Upon the eighth night I was more than usually cautious in opening the door. A watch’s minute hand moves more quickly than did mine. Never before that night had I felt the extent of my own powers –of my sagacity. I could scarcely contain my feelings of triumph. To think that there I was, opening the door, little by little, and he not even to dream of my secret deeds or thoughts. I fairly chuckled at the idea; and perhaps he heard me; for he moved on the bed suddenly, as if startled. Now you may think that I drew back –but no. His room was as black as pitch with the thick darkness, (for the shutters were close fastened, through fear of robbers,) and so I knew that he could not see the opening of the door, and I kept pushing it on steadily, steadily.

I had my head in, and was about to open the lantern, when my thumb slipped upon the tin fastening, and the old man sprang up in bed, crying out –“Who’s there?”

I kept quite still and said nothing. For a whole hour I did not move a muscle, and in the meantime I did not hear him lie down. He was still sitting up in the bed listening; –just as I have done, night after night, hearkening to the death watches in the wall.

Presently I heard a slight groan, and I knew it was the groan of mortal terror. It was not a groan of pain or of grief –oh, no! –it was the low stifled sound that arises from the bottom of the soul when overcharged with awe. I knew the sound well. Many a night, just at midnight, when all the world slept, it has welled up from my own bosom, deepening, with its dreadful echo, the terrors that distracted me. I say I knew it well. I knew what the old man felt, and pitied him, although I chuckled at heart. I knew that he had been lying awake ever since the first slight noise, when he had turned in the bed. His fears had been ever since growing upon him. He had been trying to fancy them causeless, but could not. He had been saying to himself –“It is nothing but the wind in the chimney –it is only a mouse crossing the floor,” or “It is merely a cricket which has made a single chirp.” Yes, he had been trying to comfort himself with these suppositions: but he had found all in vain. All in vain; because Death, in approaching him had stalked with his black shadow before him, and enveloped the victim. And it was the mournful influence of the unperceived shadow that caused him to feel –although he neither saw nor heard –to feel the presence of my head within the room.

When I had waited a long time, very patiently, without hearing him lie down, I resolved to open a little –a very, very little crevice in the lantern. So I opened it –you cannot imagine how stealthily, stealthily –until, at length a simple dim ray, like the thread of the spider, shot from out the crevice and fell full upon the vulture eye.

It was open –wide, wide open –and I grew furious as I gazed upon it. I saw it with perfect distinctness –all a dull blue, with a hideous veil over it that chilled the very marrow in my bones; but I could see nothing else of the old man’s face or person: for I had directed the ray as if by instinct, precisely upon the damned spot.

And have I not told you that what you mistake for madness is but over-acuteness of the sense? –now, I say, there came to my ears a low, dull, quick sound, such as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton. I knew that sound well, too. It was the beating of the old man’s heart. It increased my fury, as the beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage.

But even yet I refrained and kept still. I scarcely breathed. I held the lantern motionless. I tried how steadily I could maintain the ray upon the eve. Meantime the hellish tattoo of the heart increased. It grew quicker and quicker, and louder and louder every instant. The old man’s terror must have been extreme! It grew louder, I say, louder every moment! –do you mark me well I have told you that I am nervous: so I am. And now at the dead hour of the night, amid the dreadful silence of that old house, so strange a noise as this excited me to uncontrollable terror. Yet, for some minutes longer I refrained and stood still. But the beating grew louder, louder! I thought the heart must burst. And now a new anxiety seized me –the sound would be heard by a neighbour! The old man’s hour had come! With a loud yell, I threw open the lantern and leaped into the room. He shrieked once –once only. In an instant I dragged him to the floor, and pulled the heavy bed over him. I then smiled gaily, to find the deed so far done. But, for many minutes, the heart beat on with a muffled sound. This, however, did not vex me; it would not be heard through the wall. At length it ceased. The old man was dead. I removed the bed and examined the corpse. Yes, he was stone, stone dead. I placed my hand upon the heart and held it there many minutes. There was no pulsation. He was stone dead. His eve would trouble me no more.

If still you think me mad, you will think so no longer when I describe the wise precautions I took for the concealment of the body. The night waned, and I worked hastily, but in silence. First of all I dismembered the corpse. I cut off the head and the arms and the legs.

I then took up three planks from the flooring of the chamber, and deposited all between the scantlings. I then replaced the boards so cleverly, so cunningly, that no human eye –not even his –could have detected any thing wrong. There was nothing to wash out –no stain of any kind –no blood-spot whatever. I had been too wary for that. A tub had caught all –ha! ha!

When I had made an end of these labors, it was four o’clock –still dark as midnight. As the bell sounded the hour, there came a knocking at the street door. I went down to open it with a light heart, –for what had I now to fear? There entered three men, who introduced themselves, with perfect suavity, as officers of the police. A shriek had been heard by a neighbour during the night; suspicion of foul play had been aroused; information had been lodged at the police office, and they (the officers) had been deputed to search the premises.

I smiled, –for what had I to fear? I bade the gentlemen welcome. The shriek, I said, was my own in a dream. The old man, I mentioned, was absent in the country. I took my visitors all over the house. I bade them search –search well. I led them, at length, to his chamber. I showed them his treasures, secure, undisturbed. In the enthusiasm of my confidence, I brought chairs into the room, and desired them here to rest from their fatigues, while I myself, in the wild audacity of my perfect triumph, placed my own seat upon the very spot beneath which reposed the corpse of the victim.

The officers were satisfied. My manner had convinced them. I was singularly at ease. They sat, and while I answered cheerily, they chatted of familiar things. But, ere long, I felt myself getting pale and wished them gone. My head ached, and I fancied a ringing in my ears: but still they sat and still chatted. The ringing became more distinct: –It continued and became more distinct: I talked more freely to get rid of the feeling: but it continued and gained definiteness –until, at length, I found that the noise was not within my ears.

No doubt I now grew very pale; –but I talked more fluently, and with a heightened voice. Yet the sound increased –and what could I do? It was a low, dull, quick sound –much such a sound as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton. I gasped for breath –and yet the officers heard it not. I talked more quickly –more vehemently; but the noise steadily increased. I arose and argued about trifles, in a high key and with violent gesticulations; but the noise steadily increased. Why would they not be gone? I paced the floor to and fro with heavy strides, as if excited to fury by the observations of the men –but the noise steadily increased. Oh God! what could I do? I foamed –I raved –I swore! I swung the chair upon which I had been sitting, and grated it upon the boards, but the noise arose over all and continually increased. It grew louder –louder –louder! And still the men chatted pleasantly, and smiled. Was it possible they heard not? Almighty God! –no, no! They heard! –they suspected! –they knew! –they were making a mockery of my horror!-this I thought, and this I think. But anything was better than this agony! Anything was more tolerable than this derision! I could bear those hypocritical smiles no longer! I felt that I must scream or die! and now –again! –hark! louder! louder! louder! louder!

“Villains!” I shrieked, “dissemble no more! I admit the deed! –tear up the planks! here, here! –It is the beating of his hideous heart!”

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Magic – The Movie, the Novel, and Creepy Killer Dolls in Fiction/Films

Happy Tuesday, Bookshelf Battlers!

This post is a tough one for me because in honor of this site’s month-long celebration of Halloween Horror Fiction, I’m tackling a subject that gives me the heebiest of jeebies – creepy killer dolls.

Earlier this month, I went to my local theater a bit late hoping to catch Gone Girl.  Alas, it was all sold out.  Being already there and not wanting to waste the evening, I saw *Gasp* Annabelle instead.  I did not want to.  Why?

Because I really hate friggin’ creepy killer doll movies.

There I said it.  Don’t judge me.  You know you hate them too.  You know you watch one of those movies and for at least a week later, no matter how educated and worldly you might be, you look at every doll you pass by as if it is harboring secret evil desires.

Annabelle turned out to be a decent movie but the subject still freaks me out.  Don’t even get me started on Chucky from Child’s Play.

Oddly though, like watching a car wreck, I inevitably end up watching these movies and today I’m here to tell you about a rather spooktacular one from long ago.

The novel?  Magic by William Goldman.  If you’ve never heard of him, many of his novels have been turned into films.  He wrote The Marathon Man in which an evil Nazi dentist violently tortures a man while uttering the iconic line, “Is it safe?”  Yet, surprisingly he also is the author of the much beloved and adored fantasy tale, The Princess Bride.  He is an example of an author who managed to move amongst different genres and do so effectively.

Yet, the man who gave us Inigo Montoya also gave the world a Chucky precursor known as “Fats” – a rude and obnoxious ventriloquist dummy.

Here’s the plot:

Believe it or not, but in the 1978, venerable Sir Anthony Hopkins, a virtual Sir Laurence Olivier, arguably one of the most accomplished thespians of our day, appeared in this wacky movie sporting a bowl cut.  Hopkins played Corky, a down and out magician.  Corky revitalizes his act by adding Fats to it, and the duo are a it.  His agent, Ben Greene, played by Burgess Meredith (you may know him as the Penguin from the 1960’s campy version of Batman) is prepared to take Corky to big time celebrity status.  But the idea of being in the spotlight frightens Corky, so he retreats to his childhood home town.

There, he is reunited with his former girlfriend, Donna played by Ann-Margaret.  She’s with Duke, who treats her terribly.  Fats, who is basically a result of Corky’s split personality run amuck, gets jealous and starts ordering Corky to kill people he feels threatened by.  That’s about it.

Here’s a creepy clip.  Don’t watch it if you a) are adverse to bad language b) are adverse to creepy killer doll movies or c) want to get to sleep tonight without having creepy killer dolls on the brain or d) are adverse to seeing a legendary actor with a bowl hair cut:

In the end, this is one of those “so bad that it’s good movies” and if you’re looking for scary movies to watch this Halloween, you can’t go wrong with this one.  Also, I mainly wanted to celebrate the author.  Some people can write about a creepy killer doll.  Some people can write about the brute squad.  Few people are able to do both effectively.

Tune in tomorrow, where I hope to have yet another spooky tribute to scary fiction.  I’m challenging myself to write one post a day until Halloween.  And as always, I’ll be tweeting away at @bookshelfbattle so feel free to follow.

In the meantime, what creepy killer doll movie and/or book creeps you out the most?  Feel free to discuss in the comments below.

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A Partial List of Steven King’s Scariest Works

Needless to say, bookshelfbattle.com ‘s month long celebration of Halloweenish Literature would not be complete without adding Steven King, the Master of Modern Horror Fiction, into the mix.  In no particular order, here are five of what I believe to be the prolific author’s scariest works:

1)  The Shining – Am I wrong or can everyone agree that this is King’s central masterpiece?  The movie version, in which a stir-crazy Jack Nicholson shouts, “Here’s Johnny!” as he puts his face up to a hole in a door he just wacked open with an axe has to be one of the scariest scenes Hollywood has ever produced.  King recently came out with a sequel, Doctor Sleep.  I haven’t read it but reviews have been positive.  In conclusion – all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.  Redrum!  Redrum!

2)  Misery – I put this one high up on the list for a reason.  Most of King’s works have a supernatural element.  Danny Torrance, the little boy from The Shining, for example, had special powers that saved the day when his father lost his marbles.  The plot of Misery on the other hand, has no otherworldly occurrences and though unlikely, could possibly happen.  A famous author drives has a car accident due to snowy road conditions.  “His number one fan,”  Annie the Nurse, finds him, drags him home, and nurses him back to health.  Sounds nice, right?  Wrong.  Turns out Annie’s psychotic and she holds the writer hostage, doing everything she can to keep him from leaving.  She drugs him, and at one point even hobbles him.  Forget every CGI fake special effects laden movie monster you have ever seen.  One of the scariest moments of movie history is when Kathy Bates (who plays Annie in the film version opposite James Caan who plays the writer) hobbles her “guest” by putting a wooden block between his ankles and striking his feet with a sledge hammer.  “Cock-a-doody-poopy!”

3) Carrie – Awkward girl abused by crazy mother gets made fun of one too many times.  When the cool kids dump a bucket of pigs’ blood on her at the prom, she loses all control of her eerie superpowers and unleashes them.  Yeah, I suppose everyone has experienced abuse at the hand of a bully at one point or another while growing up, but maybe Carrie could have just let them off easy and used her powers to give them all wedgies?  There have been two remakes as far as I recall but none beats the original film version starring Sissy Spacek.

4) Christine – Car gets possessed by a ghost.  Teenage car owner goes crazy.  Disturbing shenanigans ensue.  Moral of the story- always check the Carfax.

5) Cujo – Again, like Misery, I put this in King’s “scarier because it could potentially happen” column.  As scary as Christine may be, it is highly unlikely that your used car is possessed by a ghost.  It may be possessed by a million petrified french fries under the back seat, but not a malevolent spirit.  The plot of Cujo, on the other hand, is entirely possible – actually, more possible than Misery.  The whole story centers around a mechanic’s rabid dog, Cujo.  Donna Trenton and her son, Tad, go to the home of local mechanic Joe looking for some car repairs.  Cujo, once a mild-mannered St. Bernard, has developed a nasty case of rabies from a bat bite, and much to the Trentons’ chagrin, has killed Joe.  Cujo traps Donna and Tad in their car, which fails to start (it was there for repairs, after all!) and the majority of the novel centers around Donna protecting Tad while they are trapped in the car and essentially held hostage by a ravenous canine.  Say what you want, but rabid dogs do exist and to me, they’re a hundred times scarier than say, non-existent zombies that drag their feet and go, “Ergh!” and “Argh!”

Did I miss one of your favorite Steven King novels?  Feel free to post it below:

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PC vs. Apple/Word vs. Pages – Which is the best for writers?

I’m a longtime PC guy thinking about switching it up to Mac.  Macs look nice and sleek but whenever I take a peak at one in the store and see all the ways its operating system is different from Windows I feel like I’m about to get dumped into the middle of downtown Mumbai without knowing anything about the local language or customs and being expected to find my way home.

On the other hand, there is something about Microsoft Word that bugs me.  It tries too hard to anticipate what it thinks I want to do that sometimes it keeps me from doing what I actually want to do.  Change a margin for effect on one paragraph on page 1 and it still wants to change it on page 50.  Do a numbered list and it tries to do a number list everytime you subsequently write a number.  Can Pages be any better?  But – doesn’t most of the civilized world already use Word and therefore my writing most be Word formatted to receive any kind of consideration?

THE QUESTION OF THE DAY:

Is an Apple or a PC a better computer for writers (and also -Word or Pages – which is better for writing?)

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Labor Day Reads

We here at the Bookshelf Battle Institute for Excellence in Learning How to Read English Good believe that you should spend this Labor Day Weekend basking in those last few precious moments of sun before the Fall rolls around and Mother Nature makes you get out your sweaters and jackets again.  Save the reading for when the snow is piled up ten feet outside your window this Winter.

But – supposedly this is a holiday dedicated to celebrating those who labor, and has nothing to do with getting in one last day off before the weather goes South, so here are, in no particular order, some books to read if you want to learn more about the plight of the downtrodden working man:

1)  Hard Times by Charles Dickens – Oppression of the masses!  Factory workers in love!  The rich get richer!  The poor get poorer!  Workers get covered with soot and talk in cockney accents!  That’s pretty much every Charles Dickens’ novel ever written  but the plight of the poor is especially prevalent in this one.  Arguably, it’s not Dickens’ most memorable work, nor is it his best, but it’s a good piece of literature and, well – I don’t know if you need to give a SPOILER WARNING for a book that was printed in the 1800’s (I mean really, you had your chance to read it already, sheesh!) but suffice to say, Mr. Gradgrind forces all of the wit, whimsy, and dreams out of his kids, forcing them to focus on the practical.  “Stop dreaming and start making some money!” is pretty much the speech that every parent gives to a youngster sooner or later.  And it’s not necessarily bad advice (dreams are great, but paying your bills and being able to eat is good too) but Gradgrind goes a bit overboard and his son ends up a loser while his daughter ends up married to an old man twice her age.  In short, try to find a decent living and keep your dreams intact at the same time.

2) Of Mice and Men – Many of John Steinbeck’s novels are about the plight of the working man.  In this one, George and Lenny are migrant farm hands in California.  They move from farm to farm, the bumbling, dim-witted Lenny usually makes some mistake that enrages the local farm folk, forcing them to pack up and wander off to in search of a new gig.  They make it to another farm where they meet an old man and together, the three of them cook up a dream to save up their money and buy a small patch of land which would allow them to become their own bosses.  It almost pans out until – well, hey listen I’ll let you read it but take a note ladies, don’t allow enormous, musclebound dummies who don’t know their own strength to stroke your hair.  Really, it’s just common sense.

3)  Les Miserables – Victor Hugo’s epic novel turned Broadway Musical turned movie tells the tale of Jean Valjean, who stole a loaf of bread, did hard time for it, and had to take on a new identity just to get away from the shame of it.  He prospers as a town Mayor and factory owner, but when Fantine is forced out of her job at his factory due to gossiping old biddies, he goes on a quest to save her daughter, Cosette and is always just moments away from being nabbed by the obsessed Police Inspector Javert.

Surely you’ve all heard this little diddy:

THE CONFRONTATION LYRICS – LES MISERABLES

JAVERT:

Valjean, at last!  We see each other plain.  Monsieur le Mayor.  You’ll wear a different chain!

VALJEAN:

Before you say another word, Javert!  Before you chain me up like a slave again!  Listen to me!  There is something I must do.  This woman leaves behind a suffering child.  There is none but me who can intercede.  In Mercy’s name three days are all I need.  Then I’ll return.  I pledge my word.  Then I’ll return…

JAVERT:

You must think me mad! I’ve hunted you across the years!  Men like you can never change.  A man…such as you!

It’s funny, people get mad when Valjean doesn’t give Javert the three days, but when you think about it, a police offer can’t really be all like, “Oh sure man, no problem, take all the time you need and I’ll just arrest you whenever it’s convenient for you.”

4) Death of a Salesman – Depressed and old and little to show for a life of being a salesman, Willy Loman commits suicide.  Maybe don’t read this one actually, it’ll just bring you down.  Your high school English teacher probably made you read it anyway.

So, let’s recap:  We have four novels dedicated to the downtrodden working poor and they’re all about the characters either killing themselves, killing each other, or otherwise dying miserably.  Apparently there are no novels where someone just gets a job and enjoys punching a time card everyday.  Kind of sad really.  Work=death according to the most popular books about the lower class.  How about a  book just about the Labor Day holiday itself?

 

5) Labor Day – Joyce Maynard’s novel turned movie about a depressed mother and her awkward son.  They’re taken hostage by an escaped convict.  Wrongfully accused, they rally around the man and almost run away with him until the police catch on and haul him back to the slammer for a long, long time.

 

OK I give up.  It looks like there are no happy, uplifting books about the subject of labor or Labor Day itself.  This list was a total waste!  Have a nice weekend anyway, I’m off to go grill some burgers.

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1,000 Twitter Followers in Three Months!

How diddly doodly blogarinos!  (Sorry, been watching a lot of the Every Simpsons Ever Marathon).

Forgive a bit of shameless self-promotion here.

Something awesome happened tonight – my Twitter feed reached 1,000 followers.  Since I only started blogging/tweeting in earnest in June, I’d say that’s pretty fantastic.

Can we make it to 2,500 by Christmas?  Then there would be even more people following the booktastic goodness.

If you’re on Twitter, feel free to follow me @bookshelfbattle

It’s been a great ride so far – tossing in books, literature, writing, and pop culture into one giant blender and pressing puree!

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Writer’s Battle – More Expressions

HAPPY AS A CLAM – – Really? I have found every clam I have ever met to be downright morose.

BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE – This means “to be in a difficult situation with no visibly correct answer.” To be more accurate, the expression should be, “Stuck between a rolling boulder and a hard place.” Because really, if the rock is already there and the hard place is right next to it, and there’s enough room between them, and assuming the rock is immobile and the hard place aka a wall isn’t going anywhere, then you should be able to walk between the two with great ease. Just be careful to not end up like that guy from that movie that had to cut his arm off after a rock fell on it.

TAKE IT WITH A GRAIN OF SALT – I had dinner once with a newcomer to the country and used this phrase. He thought I was trying to tell him to put salt on his food. I had to explain that it was an expression that meant “to be skeptical of a statement that has been told to you.” I assume the connotation is that if you have a piece of steak on your fork, it might look deceptively tasty, but you might want to put some salt on it just in case. Of course, this expression was invented before people realized too much salt is bad for you.

THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE – In other words, people always assume that others have it better than they do. You think your grass stinks but your neighbor’s grass looks all lush and green. It could be you are paranoid because at the end of the day, grass is grass. Or, it could be you are absolutely right and your neighbor is an expert gardner, astute in the art of watering, mowing, and fertilizing grass to give it that beautiful emerald glow whereas your grass looks like a dried up hay field. There are sometimes when the grass is actually greener but rather than hate on a person with greener grass, you should try to learn from him.

YOU CAN’T HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO – Wrong. I have literally been the rightful owner of every piece of cake I have ever eaten. I go to a party. The host hands me a piece of cake. The host has transferred ownership of the piece of cake to me. I now have it. And now I eat it. Mindblown.

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