Tag Archives: social media

I Need 10 More Likes for My Facebook Page

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

It annoys me that my Facebook like counter has been around 790 for awhile now.  Could you and 9 of your friends like it and get me up to a semi-respectable 800?

Come to think of it, while you’re at it, I could use more followers on Twitter.

Advertisements
Tagged , ,

Daily Discussion with BQB – Is Facebook a Publisher or a Utility?

Come with me on a hypothetical journey, 3.5 readers.

There are three people:  Alan, Barry and Carl.

Alan calls Barry on the phone and says, “Hey Barry, guess what?  Carl is a big time fart face pederast who likes to rub hot sauce all over his naked body before he goes out at night into the middle of the forest to have sex with goats and worship Satan!”

Barry knows that Carl is of fine character and would never engage in such activities. Sure, sometimes he’s stared at goats for too long but he’d never act on any urges he may or may not have.  Barry calls Carl and relays what Alan said.

Carl’s reaction?  He’s furious.  He hires a lawyer and sues the phone company.

The judge laughs.  Why?  Because the phone company is a utility.  They provide the phone service.  They don’t have an army of people monitoring everything that is said over the phone.  Thus, it would be silly to hold the phone company responsible.

But wait.  Suppose the phone company did get involved in your conversations.  Suppose on every call, there was an operator in the background, bleeping out bad words and comments.  “Carl likes to fuck goats” becomes “Carl likes to bleep goats.”  Then that could be Carl likes to pet goats, he likes to buy ice cream for goats, whatever.

Maybe the operator even interjects.  “Hey just an FYI I can’t verify the statement that Carl fucks goats.  In fact, we polled 100 people and 78 out of 100 said they’re fairly sure Carl is not a goat fucker.”

If the phone company gets involved in conversations and accidentally lets a “Carl is a goat fucker” through, then the phone company is legally liable, I would think.  Any legal experts out there want to get in on this and tell me if I’m right or wrong?

See, if the phone company isn’t involved in your conversations and just providing the means to make the conversation happen, then Carl can’t blame the phone company if he is called a goat fucker.  However, if the phone company starts getting involved and one day an operator falls asleep at the switch while Carl is being called a goat fucker then the phone company can be sued.  After all, the phone company began taking responsibility for the conversational content and they let a goat fucker allegation through unchecked.  The phone company has gone from utility provider to content provider or…publisher.

This is a dilemma now faced by Facebook.  Zuckerberg was questioned along these lines (obviously in a more dignified and intelligent manner without use of the words “Fuck” or “goat) before Congress – is Facebook a utility or a publisher?

If Facebook is providing the means to write posts and put up photos and video then they’re a utility.  Alan posts, “Carl fucks goats!” and if Facebook is just a utility then Facebook isn’t responsible.  Alan is the only party responsible.

But if Facebook is getting involved and banning content, taking content off, providing links to fact check sites to contradict the post, using algorithms to hide the post or put it lower in your feed etc, then an argument could be made they are liable if they take responsibility for content and a piece of defamatory content gets by them.

I realize there’s a gray area.  The phone company can’t make Barry un-hear or forget about the goat fucker comment.  Facebook can at least, if Carl complains, take down Alan’s goat fucker comment and even though Barry has now read the goat fucker comment, at least future sets of eyes won’t see it and question whether or not Carl is can be trusted to be left alone with goats.

So…I don’t know.  Facebook is definitely venturing into some rocky, unprecedented terrain.  By the way, I have no idea if anything I just said is accurate or even on point so…there you go.

Discuss.

 

 

Tagged ,

Daily Discussion with BQB – The Fame Problem

Hey 3.5 readers.  Your old pal BQB here.

So, there’s been a lot of debate about guns lately – should they be restricted, regulated, banned etc and I’m not really here to talk about that, largely because if you want to there are plenty of other places to do so as the debate continues on all over the Internet.

There’s an additional problem we aren’t considering – the fame problem.

I think since the beginning of time, there has always been a desire to be liked by a lot of people.  I’m sure in a prehistoric cave, there was always one more dynamic than usual caveman who, because of his wily caveman ways, managed to score with more hot cave ladies and get people to throw him their twigs and berries and rocks and shit.

As time went on, people sought fame, whether through heroics on the battlefield, or in politics, or through the written word…people always wanted to be universally loved and admired but I don’t think it was until movies were invented that people really became enamored of fame on a large scale.

You see – a) life was hard.  You couldn’t really chase fame if you had to work on a farm 20 hours a day and b) there were just so many finite opportunities for fame, ranging from a handful in medieval times (either you were lucky enough to be the king or you weren’t) to maybe a few choice movie roles as Hollywood began its Golden Age.

Ironically, things people want tend to multiply and so, as time went on, more opportunities for fame grew…until the Internet happened…and well, that grew the opportunities a little but I mean, in the late 1990s, you might have said, “Hey I could get famous with this Internet thing!” but then you read a book on how to write HTML code and say, “Screw it! Mediocrity, here I come!”

At least that’s what I did in the late 1990s.

Then came social media – the best, worst invention ever made.

Suddenly, you could talk to all your friends in one place.  You could make new friends.  Maybe you’re shy in person but witty behind a screen.  You build followers.  Each new follower is like an extra little piece of validation, a pat on the back from the world.

I remember when Facebook first began, I found a lot of trends to be odd.  People would take photos of their lunch and proclaim it the best lunch ever.  Or they’d share 10,000 photos of their kids and every little thing they did was the most amazing expression of cuteness ever.  Or they’d say something witty, or at least they thought it was witty.

I was actually surprised at the number of female Archie Bunkers in my orbit.  Remember on “All in the Family,” how Archie would berate Edith for being a bad housekeeper?  All of a sudden, I’d see posts show up in my feed all like, “My lazy ass husband never does any dishes and I come home and dinner isn’t on the table and blah, blah, blah.”

Lady, please.  A) No man can say that on social media about his wife and expect to live to tell the tale and B) Fine, if you’re husband isn’t pulling his fair share of the house workload, then have it out with him in private, but stop airing your dirty laundry.

That isn’t to say men don’t do dumb things either but I was just surprised at how it suddenly became acceptable for women to dump on their husbands online….because I don’t think its as acceptable for men to do that to their wives.  Personally, I think families should hash out their differences offline.

But I digress.  Lady Gaga has an album called “The Fame Monster” and that’s what happened.  It’s like there’s a little fame monster in all of us.  We all believe we are great…and that fame is the ultimate ability to do whatever you want in life, to be able to make your own choices rather than be saddled with the cards that the universe randomly dealt you at birth.  Were you born into a rich or poor family?  A loving one or a shitty one?  A supportive family or a bunch of leeches?  Do you look good?  Are you athletic?  Are you hot?  Are you a lump of crap, the loser in the genetic lottery?  All of these issues and more go into how successful you might be.

So social media feeds that fame monster.  People liked my post about my lunch.  People liked my post where  I said that witty thing.  Oh, I know!  I can find a mundane, tired little point about something that no one really noticed because who looks at anything that closely, claim I am OUTRAGED and then people will notice me.

Thus, OUTRAGE culture began…conversely, that’s when comedy died.  Think about it.  The last uproariously funny comedy I saw was “The Hangover” in 2009 and that’s when social media was just stepping out of its infancy and into toddlerhood.

Is there a gun problem?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  The rights of all the law abiding citizens who keep a gun for self defense vs the wack-a-doos who can’t handle the responsibility.  It’s all being discussed.  Hopefully, there’s a solution that makes everyone happy though that’s doubtful.

But we’re ignoring the fame problem.  We have to be honest – guns existed for many, many years, whereas school shootings have only been a regular staple of TV news coverage for roughly the past twenty years, ever since Columbine in the late 1990s.

And usually, the shooter always fits a particular pattern – a kid who is socially isolated at school, not very popular, picked on and made fun of, pissed that he’s a joke until he decides he’s going to get even, and he’s going to get famous while he does it.

And sadly, he usually does.  In the wake of these shootings, the shooter’s name is plastered all over the media.  Can we blame the media?  I don’t know.  On the one hand, their job is to inform.  On the other hand, maybe they can just say the name once or twice and then just say, ‘the shooter” rather than give the shooter the desired fame.

Why am I thinking about this?  Because the recent YouTube shooter was, in my opinion, a shining example of “the fame monster” that is lurking in so many hearts out there.

Like other social media sites, YouTube is a great invention in many ways.  It gives the voiceless a voice.  It’s giving talented people a chance they never had before.  From the entertainment industry to political discourse, stars are being born online and more often than not, they’re doing it with a few simple purchases from Best Buy.  Got a camera?  Congrats.  You’ve got a show.

Meander through the YouTube well and you’ll pull up some great homemade stuff that you can’t believe was produced on a tight budget, a testament to the wit of the video’s creators.

You also might find a lot of schlock from people who tried…and they meant well…maybe if they knew about basic movie making techniques they’d of done a little better…but hey, they aren’t hurting anyone.

Then you also have people making total asses out of themselves and you wonder why there isn’t anyone taking them aside and saying, “Hey…you look really stupid.”

Before the shooting, the woman in question made a lot of videos.  I’ve seen some brief clips on the news.  To my eye, they look like crap.  Perhaps among the animal’s rights activist vegan community, they were awesome, I don’t know.

She made money on her videos.  Then YouTube’s video monetization rules changed and I mean, yeah, I’ll get to that in another post.  There’s understandable concern over YouTube’s monetization policy changes but obviously, and I hope I’m being clear, that those policy changes did not justify this woman’s actions.  Nothing could justify what she did.

Will we ever know what was going on inside her head?  We know her father called the police and told them his daughter had a grudge against YouTube.  We know she posted some anti-YouTube rants.

It’s probably a safe bet that the videos she made gave her a chance to feed her fame monster…and when the videos received less hits and/or money, her fame monster become very hungry, so she fed it the only way she knew how, by seeking fame as a mass shooter, perhaps in the hope that in death, her name would be plastered all over the news.  That’s why I’m not using her name here.

Somehow, we have to figure out how to tame the fame monster in all of us, to figure out how to use social media responsibly.  Just as a hammer’s purpose, when used properly, is to bang a nail, social media can also be used as an effective tool – to talk to friends you’d otherwise never get to see, to express opinions (hopefully well thought out ones not posed in a way to alienate those who disagree) and so on.

Some people are even able to channel that fame monster in a positive way, creating quality content that stands out above the rest-  but there’s the rub…

We really need to go back to the day when people only got famous if they did something.

Enough of the fame for fame’s sake.  Enough of the “it’s better to be famous for having done something bad than to never have been known at all” nonsense.  No, that isn’t right at all.  An 1800s farmer who never hurt anyone and who was good to his family is a better person even though no one today knows who he is than some dipshit making a video where he’s eating a tide pod or snorting a condom.

Is there a way to fix any of this?  I don’t know.  There’s the second amendment, so you can’t take away social media from people who do things on social media that make themselves look like assholes.  You can’t ban shitty content.  Honestly, if you could ban shittily made content with low production values, this blog would be in the trash heap posthaste.

Maybe it all just comes down to parenting and family, I suppose.  Though then again, while I don’t know anything about this woman’s family, her father did call the police and try to warn them about her YouTube grudge so…maybe even when family members notice someone in the family is falling apart, that isn’t always enough to prevent a tragedy, though family should still try when they can.

Maybe it’s up to all of us.  Social media is great, but it’s not everything.  Seek out more in your life.  Fame is very unlikely for most of us.  The odds just aren’t in the average person’s favor.  While social media has tipped those odds more toward the average nobody’s favor, the odds still aren’t good, so seek contentment in that hand you were dealt, lousy as it may be.

Seek success in relationships, in love, romance, in money, yes money, seek professional opportunities and good jobs.  This lady probably might have helped more animals as a vet than by dancing around in dumb videos with pictures of animals in the background.

Don’t shy away from social media if you think you have the next great idea, just do your idea, do it well, and be prepared to fall flat on your face as most do.  Have backup plans.  Realize there is more to life than fame, and if no one knows who you are when you die, that doesn’t make you a loser.

If you make it, great.  If you don’t, you don’t.  Never be in a position where you need social media to survive.

OK.  That’s all I have to say.  Everyone, please stop being assholes, please stop shooting up places.  Put the guns down.  Don’t give bullets, give hugs (consensual hugs.)

And get off hte damn computer and/or cell phone once in awhile and smell the roses, will you?  Those roses are more real than your dreams of Internet fame may ever be, and when you’re 70, you won’t care about making another social media post, but you’ll care if you didn’t smell enough roses (i.e. roses being a metaphor for experience good and or beautiful things in the world.)

OK, now let me go check out how many hits this post will toss into my fame monster’s belly.

Discuss in the comments, and you too can put a little piece of kibble in your fame monster’s belly.

Tagged , , , , , ,

600 Facebook Page Likes

Hey 3.5 readers.  BQB here.

I reached a milestone today.  600 likes on my Facebook page.

Will you like it and help me reach 1,000?

 

Tagged ,

Daily Discussion with BQB – Lady Doritos

Hey 3.5 readers.

I love Doritos.  In fact, if it were possible to determine where all the fat on my body came from, Doritos would have a significant amount of responsibility.

I think the idea of a chip that isn’t as crunchy or messy is a good idea, provided that it tastes as good.  I assume it doesn’t.  Chips always have different versions, the fat free version, the this version, the that version, none of it is as tasty as the regular.  They might be more healthy, but not as tasty.

But I mean, if it were possible to make a less crunchy, less messy chip, that sounds like a good idea.  A chip you could bring to a quiet place and eat and not bother anyone.  A chip that you could eat and it wouldn’t make your hands all messy with cheese and then your fingers are all orange for the rest of the day and you inevitably leave cheesy fingerprints all over everything around you.

I don’t think society is necessarily clamoring for that type of chip, but you know, if a chip scientist came up with this, that would be the way to market it.  Cue commercial of an annoying coworker eating his loud, messy chips, driving everyone nuts.  Maybe the boss picks up an important document with cheese dust all over it, then that’s the last straw, he smacks the chips out of the worker’s hand and gives the worker a bag of office friendly Doritos.

Hell, that’s what you could call them. “Office friendly Doritos.” Put them in all workplace vending machines.

Soooo…instead, Doritos calls these, “Lady Doritos.”  Women, y’all are too messy and gross and loud and if you want a man you’re going to have to get Lady Doritos.

COMMERCIAL:  Man sees a woman.  He is in love.  She eats a load chip.  Man says, “Ugh!” and runs away.  Announcer says, “Coulda been married by now if you’d had Lady Doritos.”

Folks, you know me.  I’m very un-PC.  I believe it’s generally good to be nice and thoughtful of feelings but we can’t just walk around on eggshells, scared the littlest thing might offend so we just say nothing.

But even an un-woke person like me, who laughs at people who require safe spaces, trigger warnings and therapy coloring books and puppies has to admit, Lady Doritos was a bad idea.

First, it wasn’t like there was a groundswell of people who were pissed at loud and/or messy chips.  Yeah, there might be some situations where they’re annoying but it’s not like the crunch is akin to a deafening fog horn and the cheese residue is nothing that a trip to a sink can’t cure.

Even so, the idea is interesting and worth a go.  I just don’t understand how the marketing people flubbed this.

Had they called this, “The Clean, Crunchless Chip” people would probably give it a try.  People who bring their lunch to work might be inclined to buy that variety of Doritos over a rival brand of chip.

But they called it “Lady Doritos.”  Holy shit.  I’m very un-woke but had I been in that marketing meeting I’d of been like, “Dudes!  Y’all are going to be crucified on Twitter.”

“The Crunchless Chip” inventor would get a Nobel Prize and there’d be science journal articles about his invention and shit.

But they screwed it up.  “Lady Doritos.”  Shit.  What a bunch of dummies.

Tagged , , , , , ,

Whoever Shared Me on Facebook…

Thank you.  It got me a lot of views.  If you feel like sharing, I’d like to see your post.  If not, that’s cool too.  Thank you so much.

Tagged ,

Help Me Get Over 500 Facebook Likes

Hey 3.5 readers, BQB here.

My Facebook page is at 482 likes and I’ve noticed the more your Facebook page grows, the more traffic that returns to your blog.

So, yeah, if you could press that like button it would be appreciated.

Tagged ,

Help Me Get Over 500 Facebook Page Likes!

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

My Facebook page is currently at 387 likes.  Can you help me get it over 500?  All you have to do is visit and like it.  Then you’ll have my posts in your feed and then you’ll have an excuse to ignore your Cousin Larry’s post about his lunch because you’ll be too busy reading my stuff.

https://www.facebook.com/bookshelfqbattler/

Tagged , , , , ,

Daily Discussion with BQB – New Twitter and It Still Doesn’t Have an Edit Function

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

If you’re on the Tweet-a-mo-bob, (follow me @bookshelfbattle) you might have noticed that they changed things around a lot.

Yet, they still didn’t bring one desperately needed feature – the ability to edit a Tweet.

As it stands right now, if you write a tweet with a mistake in it, your only option is to delete it and rewrite the whole thing.  You really should be able to just hit an edit button, change the erroneous word, and then save it.

It’s been eleven years, Twitter.  Make this happen.

What other changes would you like to see happen on Twitter?

Tagged , ,

Things That Really Frost My Ass – Amber Rose’s Cooter Pic

By: Uncle Hardass, Official Bookshelf Battle Blog Grumpy Old Man Correspondent

cropped-shutterstock_159396938-copy

Hello 3.5 degenerate readers.

Your old Uncle Hardass here.  Still working on your writing careers I see.  Good for you.  Never let reality get in the way of a good daydream.  I’m sure your parents don’t mind subsidizing your hubris until the end of time.

You know what just frosted my ass?  This photo:

DCDzxHiUIAA9zHJ.jpg-large

In case you’re not hip like your old Uncle Hardass, that’s Amber Rose who is famous for…uh…well she does…I think she’s on TV or some shit.  She’s a professional hot chick like Kim Kardashian or something.

Also, she does this thing called a Slut Walk which, hey, I’m not complaining.  Hell, twenty years ago I’d of invited all those sluts to take a walk past my front door but today?  Meh.  It’s just like a big lump of taffy down there.  Pull it all day and nothing happens.

Now, I know what you’re thinking.  “Uncle Hardass is mad that a woman posed nude in a photo.”  Nope, nope.  Again, as I just said, twenty years ago I’d of retired to the bathroom with this photo in one hand and a bottle of Jergen’s in the other but, I might remind you, it’s like pulling taffy.  I could yank on it for hours and the only thing would come out is one of those “Womp womp” sounds they play when you guess the wrong price on “The Price is Right.”

It frosts my ass because there’s literally no response that a man can make to a photo like this that a woman would find acceptable.

MALE RESPONSE:                                           FEMALE RESPONSE:

Wow!  What a lovely cooter shot!                   PIG!

I’m outraged at such nudity!                        How dare you demonize the female form?

You’re right.  It’s a lovely photo.                 Pervert!

See?  You can’t win.  All these super hot chicks who are famous for being hot post naked photos of themselves all the time.  And if you’re a man, there’s absolutely nothing you can say about it without getting in trouble with any woman who overhears you.

Really, the only thing you can do is just appreciate the fact that she posted it, then use it to inspire a monkey spanking session except, you know, I have to skip that because…taffy.  Just a big lump of taffy.

Personally, I applaud Amber Rose for posting this photo.  A)  You can’t see it because I had to censor it due to the fact that my nephew, BQB, runs a classy blog (or so he says), but in the original photo, Amber is sporting a serious bush.  Like, a big, giant, overgrowth.  Seriously.  It looks like she’s got Llhasa Apso trapped in a leg lock and try all he might, the little fella can’t budge.

That’s fine by me.  Back in my day, it was the hairier the better.  Hell, breaking out a weedwacker and a flashlight just to find your way to the thing was considered foreplay.  You youngsters and your silky smooth lady parts have no idea what you’re missing.

Secondly, I thought it was pretty cool that Amber wears the same sunglasses I do.  My doctor put those giant boxy sunglasses on me after I had my cataracts surgery and I assumed that only people my age are considered fashionable when they walk around looking like they’re playing a virtual reality game.

In conclusion, men, say nothing when you see these photos.  There’s nothing you can say that will not leave a woman angry at you.  Come to think of it, that doesn’t just apply to this photo but to literally everything else in life as well.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go pull my taffy.  I think I felt a tingle.  Then again, it could be gas.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,
Advertisements