Bookshelf Battle

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

Vamps can’t dance.

Bleh!

#31WaystoDefeataVampire continues, 3.5 children of the night.

If you have a way to defeat a vampire, you should leave it in the comments or tweet it to Bookshelf Q Battler – @bookshelfbattle

Bleh! You could even leave it on his Facebook page.  While you’re at it, give it a like.  BQB’s Facebook page has less likes than Bea Arthur’s nude photo spread, bleh.

Discos.  You never knew these 1970s dance clubs are the bane of vampiric existence, did you?

Yes, the 1970s were a bad time for the vampires. Everyone was boogying down and we were going hungry.

Its not the flashing lights, or all the moronic clientele…its that vampires can’t dance for shit.

Think about it. Have you ever seen a vampire that can dance?

No. You haven’t.

Give a being eternal life and the ability to take what they want without consequence and few beings are willing to learn skills to improve themselves.

Vampires don’t take dancing lessons because they don’t care if you like they’re dancing.

Alas, vampires sneakily conspired to put most of this clubs out of business, but if you’re getting chased by a vampire in Germany, you could probably find a good disco to duck into.

Yeesh. Don’t get me started on the Germans.  They spent years trying to conquer the world and now they just want to be a bunch of dancing machines in leather pants.  Its like there’s no happy medium with those people.

Bleh! Until tomorrow, 3.5 readers.