#175 – Picture it. You and me on a deserted island. Also, there’s a monkey playing a banjo. The monkey serenades, then starts touching himself. We want to look away but oddly enough, we cannot. We then make hot passionate live while the monkey periscopes the entire affair.
#176 – I’m the other white meat.
#177 – Can I check you for stretch marks?
#178 – Can I check you for track marks?
#179 – Can I check the marks on your college transcript? I don’t want to date a dummy.
#180 – Can I check the marks on your college transcript to make sure you did poorly? I find that dummies make the best dates.
#181 – You’re so brave to go out in public, looking the way you do.
#182 – Nice dress. Do you always shop at the curtain store?
#183 – I want to kiss you all over…but first…liquid courage!
#184 – Would you like to travel the world? Would you also like to pay for all my tickets and travel expenses?
#185 – I’m a masseuse. My foldable table is in my trunk.
#186 – Did you know that one night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble? God, I wish Chess would get the band back together again.
#187 – I can take off my underwear without removing my pants. Care to see?
#188 – This hair is mine. Seriously. I have the receipt.
#189 – My back hair is thick and lush. You’ll feel like you’re running your fingers through a luxurious shag carpet.
#190 – Are you a religious woman? No? Don’t worry, I’ll have you screaming “Oh God!” by the end of the night.
#191 – Can we divvy up this bar tab? I had like one beer and you had a million rum and cokes.
#192 – All my past girlfriends are famous. They always end up with their faces plastered all over milk cartons.
#193 – I’d say it’s love at first sight, but I’ve been staring at you through your bedroom window for years now. Whoops! I let the cat out of the bag. Silly me.
#194 – I’m a male prostitute and I charge by the hour. How many hours can I put you down for?
#195 – Let’s do this! I just popped a viagra and I don’t want to waste it. Do you have any idea how much those pills cost?
#196 – Girl, you so fine you blow my mind.
#197 – May I have this dance? No? Fine, who needs you anyway?
#198 – I floss. My dentist tells me I have the gums of a thoroughbred race horse.
#199 – What would you do for a Klondike bar? I’m just curious because I have a whole box of them at home.
#200 – I’m so lonely.
Bookshelf Battle 