Nipples! Whoa, nipples!
Why are there nipples on a man?
It’s not like they can squirt milk into a can.
Or can they? A Google search for this info is now a part of my plan.
Flan? How do I make it?
And your coffee. How do you take it?
Is a Keurig easy to use?
Which brand of java should I use?
Booze. Which kind is best to get me drunk?
Will the city dump take all of my junk?
I’m in a funk. Because I want to know whether or not it will rain.
And which is the best laundry detergent? Tide or Gain?
Who is that stuck up dude who used to play Dr. Frasier Crane?
Oh search engine, there is so much for you to explain.
Like why are there bubbles in champagne?
Maybe to help me celebrate.
What is the best site to find a date?
How many oranges come in a crate?
Does anyone remember that old TV show, “Sister Kate?”
Wasn’t it only on air for a year?
Where can I find the tastiest beer?
There are so many things that I fear.
Like what do I do if I get bitten by a gnome?
Will I be ok? Should I just go on home?
Foam. Where can I find a pillow made out of foam?
Did E.T. ever phone home?
Of that film, I am very fond.
Speaking of movies, who was the best James Bond?
Do gentlemen really prefer blondes?
How do I take of my fern’s delicate fronds?
I wish there weren’t so many questions floating around inside my mind.
Oh Internet, sweet Internet, I really am in a bind.