Bookshelf Battle

Hello 3.5 readers (and prospective zombie author participants).

Wow, summer went by fast, didn’t it?

You might remember I proposed this idea in July and now September is rapidly approaching.

I’ve had some time to think about it, so if you’re a zombie author interested in helping Bookshelf Q. Battler and friends survive the zombie apocalypse this October, here are the revised details:

Q.  What’s this now?

A.  #31ZombieAuthors – (see hashtag on Twitter).  I’m recruiting thirty one zombie authors to participate.  There are thirty one days in October, so I’d like to interview one per day.  Ideally, I’d like to recruit MORE than thirty one in case someone isn’t able to participate as planned (life happens and all) and if that leads to more than thirty one interviews, that’s great.

Q.  And what is going to happen?

For thirty one days, Bookshelf Q. Battler (that’s me, I like to talk about myself in the third person) will write daily entries in his “Zombie Apocalypse Survivor’s Journal.”

The setup:

Bookshelf Q. Battler, his girlfriend Video Game Rack Fighter, and their alien buddy, Alien Jones aka the Esteemed Brainy One attend a scientific demonstration at the East Randomtown Mall (the shopping headquarters of our hero’s home town).

Alas, the demonstration is run by the mad scientist known as Dr. Hugo Von Science.  Some say he’s incompetent.  Others say he produces failed inventions for the purposes of spreading chaos.  On this blog, we just know him as our humble science correspondent.

Long story short, Dr. Hugo’s experiment goes awry, the crowd of gawkers are turned into zombies, and BQB, VGRF and AJ go on the run in a desperate month long quest for survival.

Here’s the first part of the story.

Q.  What do you want from me?

It’s going to vary from author to author, but I propose anywhere from three-five questions.  Maybe more or less but at any rate I’m not looking to be a burden on anyone’s time.

Some of the questions might be about zombie survival techniques.  For example, BQB might ask you, as a noted zombie expert (after all, you wrote a zombie book) a particular question about how to defeat the zombies or how to survive, etc.

Also, this is a blog where writing and self publishing is discussed, so BQB might discuss your craft as well.

This is all meant to be lighthearted and fun, non-intrusive, and I really want everyone to walk away feeling as though their time was well spent.

When your day in October comes up, it will be something like:

“BQB’S Survivor Journal, Day 10, Today I was so concerned about the zombie epidemic that I spoke to Fred Smith, Author of Zombie Book.”

Q.  I don’t know about this.

I don’t blame you.  I’m a grown man who claims to be the owner of a magic bookshelf as well as the best buddy of an alien.  Who wouldn’t kick the tires a bit on that scenario?

I get it.  You’re running your own self-published author business.  Your reputation is everything and you don’t want it being brought down.

Allow me to offer the following:

• I’ll email you questions.  You write back with your responses.
• If you don’t like the finished post, and we can’t figure out a way to fix it that’ll make you happy, it’ll just come down.  No problem.

Q.  This isn’t like a typical blog interview I’ve done.  Why all the interactivity?

I’m a big fan of Jimmy Fallon, who has successfully reinvented the stodgy, decades old late night talk show formula.

Remember Johnny Carson?  What would happen?  Some celebrity comes on, drones on and on about himself, Johnny pretends to be interested, Ed shouts out the occasional, “Ho, ho, ho, you are correct, sir!”

Jimmy plays games with his guests.  Scar Jo comes on, guesses what’s in the box Jimmy’s holding, they have fun, I enjoy watching it and I’m reminded Scar Jo has a new movie coming out.

That’s the gist of what I try to do here.

With Alien Jones’ “Ask the Alien” column, twenty-one authors have asked the alien a question, and received plugs for their books and blogs in his answer.

Here’s the list of authors who’ve participated in that so far.

Note that AJ has also given the “don’t like it, the post comes down” pledge and thus far, not one author has complained.  Typically, they even tweet out, reblog and otherwise promote their alien interaction.

Q.  I’m lost.  What’s your blog about?

Here it is in a nutshell:

• I’m Bookshelf Q. Battler.  I own a magic bookshelf.  When I put a book on it, the book characters come to life.
• My friend is Alien Jones, an intergalactic emissary sent by the despotic space dictator, “The Mighty Potentate,” to answer questions in a column on my blog to raise humanity’s intelligence levels and prevent the spread of reality tv throughout the universe.
• My girlfriend is Video Game Rack Fighter.  We met while on a spiritual quest to consult the Great Guru about the meaning of life.
• There are other ancillary characters who occasionally stop by, namely, The Yeti, Dr. Hugo, the ghost of my exceptionally grumpy uncle, just to name a few.
• This blog is my chance to entertain my 3.5 readers.

Q.  3.5 readers?

It’s an ongoing joke.  I can’t lie and tell you this blog is conquering the world, but it has been growing steadily since its inception in 2014.  The gist of the joke is that as long as 3.5 people are reading, I’ll be motivated to keep writing.

Q.  Can you tell me your name?  I’d feel better about being interviewed.

A.  Sure.  My/BQB’s real name is Eduardo Ricardo Papageorgio Von Finkelstein.

Q.  No.  Your real name.

Oh!  You’re talking about nasty rumors that Bookshelf Q. Battler, Alien Jones, all of these characters aren’t real and that some random guy behind the scenes is pretending to be everyone.

Ridiculous!  Preposterous, I say!

In theory though, if that were true, a guy like that would probably prefer to keep himself on the down low, at least until his writing starts paying the bills, so as to not find himself being hauled into an HR meeting to explain why he claims to be best friends with an alien.

You’d be surprised how few people outside of BQB’s 3.5 readers have a sense of humor.

Q.  Thanks, but I’d rather not be involved.

I understand, kemo sabe.  I don’t want to harsh your mellow.  We’re all just fellow travelers on this spaceship called Earth so you be you and I’ll be me, man.  Far out.  Groovy.  You dig it?

Q.  This sounds awesome.  I’m in!

Huzzah!  I’ll be in touch with your questions!  Ideally, I’d like to get all 31 posts in the can by September 20 so it can all go off without a hitch once October rolls around.

And I’m still recruiting, so if you know any zombie authors, spread the word,

Q.  But I’m not a zombie.

Humans who write about zombies are acceptable, but if there is a zombie out there who has managed to write a book despite decaying hands and lack of a thought process, he’s welcome as long as he promises not to bite me.

I’m not sexist.  She-zombies also welcome.