AND NOW A SECURE TRANSMISSION FROM THE MIGHTY POTENTATE, SUPREME AND UNDISPUTED OVERLORD OF A PLANET THE NAME OF WHICH IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
Alien Jones! I demand a full list of all the Earth authors who’ve dared to consult your highly evolved mind!
Step forward, oh Esteemed Brainy One, and notify me whose names shall be added to the protected rolls in the event it is deemed that an invasion of Earth is the only means necessary to prevent the intergalactic spread of reality television!
Do this quickly or be vaporized!
Certainly, oh Wonderful Potentate!
The indie authors who’ve consulted my are as follows:
Oh Mightiest of Potentates, forgive this alien and spare the vaporizer, for in the beginning, I was less efficient and crammed multiple authors into one column.
These brave pioneers, who dared to attach their name to a column purported to be written by an alien in the service of a man who claims to own a magic bookshelf include:
DC Graylocke – I don’t plan to participate in reality TV
Gary Henry – Will the alien provide advice for the lovelorn?
MEI MEI/JEDIBYKNIGHT – Can you tell me about your alien ancestors?
Gary Alan Ruse – Have you read my books?
Kai Delmas – who would win in a war between orcs and men?
Kim Magennis – Was Tesla one of yours?
Tara Ellis – I’d love to share my book with your readers.
TJ SIEBENECK – Which book cover should I use?
MEI MEI/JEDI BY KNIGHT – Are any aliens from Star Wars based on real aliens?
Kim Magennis – Elvis, Bermuda Triangle, and Socks
Julie Shackman – What is your favorite genre and why?
Joe Schwartz – What color is that damn dress?
Kim Magennis – Who built the pyramids?
ALIEN JONES’ FINAL THOUGHTS
Oh, Mightiest of Potentates! In summation, a total of 21 indie authors and/or bloggers have consulted the precious wisdom of my genius mind.
Surely, this is a sign the humans are worth salvaging.
Especially worth noting is that for the past 9 weeks, I have not gone a single week without one human seeking my counsel.
Bookshelf Q. Battler informs me that he is honored that so many authors would trust this blog to promote them. He put out the call for humans to ask an alien a question and the questions have been coming in since this column began March 1.
BQB and I continue to fight the good fight against the reality television that so offends your eyes by promoting fiction. Also, BQB is even working on a series of his own, and that’s a far cry further from where he was at the start of this year when I found him.
I had my doubts, your Potentosity, but perhaps BQB is indeed the chosen one.
That’s why you’re the Potentate.
Humans, please keep the inquiries coming. Let’s keep the MP happy and keep the hot streak going.
Yours in Braininess,
Alien Jones is the Intergalactic Correspondent for the Bookshelf Battle Blog, on a mission to raise Earth’s collective intelligence levels one question at a time. Do you have a question for the Esteemed Brainy One? Tweet it to @bookshelfbattle on Twitter, leave it in the comments on bookshelfbattle.com, or stop by Bookshelf Battle on Google Plus. If he likes your question, he might even promote your book, blog, other project in his answer.
Image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.