Tag Archives: contests

BQB’s Book Cover Design Contest

By: Special Guest Blogger Video Game Rack Fighter


Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB is passed the hell out on the floor for the moment, so I’ll fill you in.

As you are all aware, our favorite resident yeti fighter does not like to part with money.

But he finally did it. He put up some dough to get a 99Designs contest going.

That’s right. He’s going to publish a book of writing prompts.

In fact, before his face hit the floor, he told me that the title will be, “Bookshelf Q. Battler’s Big Book of Badass Writing Prompts: 101 Scintillating Scenarios to Stimulate Your Cranial Excretions.”

Sigh. Don’t tell him I said this but the only thing it will stimulate is a one-way ticket to Amazon’s virtual 99 cent bin.

Did I say that? No. I’m the ever supportive VGRF and what I meant to say was that this will probably be the boot in the ass he needs to get him going.

Once he sets up an author profile and has something to offer as an author, we can only hope that he will continue to work to get an actual novel out there so the Mighty Potentate won’t vaporize us all into the stone age.

No pressure, BQB.

At any rate, 3.5 readers, I figure the guy must love you all, because he actually opened up his wallet.


No joke, whenever we go out on a date he’ll take me to Mighty Burger and offer to degrease the grease traps just to avoid paying for my choice off the dollar menu.

So in other words, he really loves you guys since he was so willing to part with money, an act which has made him pass out.

I can only hope he will wake up soon so the yeti will stop resting his hairy feet on him as if he were some kind of nerd shaped Ottoman.

I suppose I could stop that furry freak but unlike BQB, I am not a champion yeti fighter.

Results are expected in a week and if BQB doesn’t like any of the designs he can say no thanks.

But be ready to help him choose one.

Take care, 3.5

P.S. in the meantime, take a look at his writing prompts and tell him what you think.


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Take the Smeller vs. Denier Challenge!

Hey 3.5 readers,shutterstock_207933922

Are you enjoying Jake’s latest adventure?  I have to say I am.

For those just tuning in:

Monte Carlo.  1952.  Jake is on his honeymoon with Cajun cutie Muffelia “Muffy” Bordeaux, the second Mrs. Hatcher.

Jake’s never had a better string of luck before.  At home, his private investigation business is booming.  He’s married to a bodacious babe and he’s just won $25,000 at the poker table (which would be great today, but think of that in 1952 money!)

Alas, life throws him a curveball.

While attending a dinner party thrown by his host, Count Rickard, a most unfortunate stench ruins Jake’s otherwise lovely evening.

Sir Rupert Roundtree, the British Secretary of State and Patrice Charbonneau, the French Ambassador to the United Kingdom, each blame the other, claiming the impromptu excretion was intended by the other as an insult.  Each demands war and Hatcher, a veteran of World War II, must uncover the culprit if he wants to fend off World War III.

To complicate matters, Hatcher notices the check for his gambling proceeds is missing.

Who did it?  Was it done to force a third global conflict?  To cover up a check theft?  Or some other unseemly reason?



  1.  Be over 18.  Young people, I wish you best of luck with your writing, but I don’t want to deal with anyone who doesn’t know what a mortgage is.
  2. Read the story.
  3. Guess who did it and why.
  4. DO NOT put your guess in the comments.  Dudes, spoilers.
  5. ON TWITTER, Direct Message your guesses to @bookshelfbattle
  6. TWEET @bookshelfbattle to let me know you DM’d a guess, otherwise I never pay attention to my DM’s due to the high volume of weirdoes who are trying to sell me time shares and miracle rash cure ointments.
  7. I still have a long way to go before the story is finished, maybe a week or more, so feel free to change your guesses as the story unfolds.
  8. When this all wraps up, Jake will write a column to acknowledge those who guessed right.
  9. If said accurate guessers have books or blogs to plug, he’ll plug away.
  10. Though as always, Attorney Donnelly notes the management reserves the right not to do so if he deems your book to be weird.  So you know, no thanks if your book is “Hooray for Hitler!”
  11. Heck, Jake might even have a heart and plug the losers’ books and blogs too.  Note that you won’t be considered a loser in life, just for purposes of this particular contest.


The full story is available on this blog.  I’ve put parts 1-9 together here, 10-12 are up and more will be coming for awhile.

I’ve also been updating it regularly on wattpad.  You may find that format easier to read, especially on a cell phone or tablet.  You don’t have to click around, it’s all right there.

I don’t have an exact date when Jake will finish the story.  This is quite a caper.  Conceivably, it could go into September.

If you send me a guess, I’ll just thank you for your participation.  I’m not able to tell you if you’re right or wrong.  Only Jake knows who did it and my only contact with him is through the exceptionally classy and refined Delilah K. Donnelly, who absolutely refuses to discuss bodily functions with anyone, even if its on my behalf.

So, you know, don’t publicly reveal your guesses until Jake makes his public reveal in the story itself.

If you’re one of the random few who don’t have something to plug but want to guess anyway, feel free to do so.

This is your chance to become an assistant detective.  Scour the story.  Search for clues.  Review the evidence.  Make your determination.

Finally folks, just remember this is all just for fun and a blatant attempt by me to try to get more people to read my stuff so, please don’t get mad or sue me or something.  Attorney Donnelly has enough work to do already.

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Blog Contests

Has anyone ever run a blog contest before?

Something like, oh I don’t know, the next twenty people who subscribe to bookshelfbattle.com have the chance to win a prize?

I don’t know what the prize would be. A book? A toaster? A date with Charlize Theron?

Yeah like I’d give that away.

I’m just curious – if anyone out there has run a successful blog contest, how do you do it?

Comment away if you have advice.

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