Tag Archives: movie reviews

Jan 17 2016
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Movies

Movie Review – 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (2016)

War. Guns. Terrorists.

Do I really have to call “SPOILERS” on a movie about an event thats been in the news for years?

Probably.  There’s a lot more than what the news covered.

BQB here with a review of 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi.

Hello 3.5 readers.

I’m just going to say it. I almost thought about not writing this review because I do my best to keep this blog non-political.  This blog is about books, writing, and my adventures as a magic bookshelf caretaker forced to launch a writing career in order to satisfy the whims of a maniacal alien overlord known as the Mighty Potentate.

All hail the Mighty Potentate.

But – it is a movie.  And it is a pretty good one.  And I do write movie reviews soo…here it goes.

However, before I begin, please remember that whether you’re a Democrat, or a Republican, or a member of some other party, please know that I still want you to like me and more importantly, I want you to spend lots and lots of money on the books I one day hope to put out whenever I get around to writing them.

Where to start?  The whole situation was a mess. After Qadaffi, the country’s dictator, was ousted, Libya descended into chaos (well, much more chaos than usual) with rival gangs vying for territory and control.

There were two U.S. locations in Benghazi involved – a State Department compound and a CIA site.

It became pretty clear that Libya was becoming so dangerous that U.S. personnel needed to either leave or more security forces had to be added.

Neither happened.  Instead, the government sent Ambassador Chris Stevens, a high level target for terrorists, to stay at the State Department compound.  According to the film, the U.S. government felt that the time was ripe for diplomacy with Libya (they’ll like us because we helped get rid of Qadaffi!) and that additional security would send an unfriendly message to the Libyans (because, you know, Libya is world renowned for its hospitality.)

Long story short, a group of CIA security contractors (John Krakinski from the Office and that guy who plays Pornstache on Orange is the New Black were the only actors I recognized) travel to the ambassador’s residence (when it is under attack) in an attempt to save Stevens.

SPOILER ALERT FOR PEOPLE WHO DON’T READ NEWSPAPERS OR WATCH CNN – Stevens dies when the ambassador’s residence is set on fire.  The CIA contractors manage to save Stevens’ security detail.

The group returns to the CIA location and whammo the terrorists start attacking there. The contractors spend a long ass night fighting off wave after wave of attackers.  Perhaps I didn’t pay as much attention to the press coverage as I should have, but I never realized just how intense and long that battle was, so props to the security forces for fending off the bad guys for so long.

By the end of it all the deceased included:

Ambassador Chris Stevens

Information Officer Sean Smith

CIA Operatives Glenn Doherty and Tyrone Woods

From the movie, its clear that there were many acts of bravery, these dudes taking on all kinds of heat from all sides all night and its something I certainly couldn’t have done.

Now here comes the hard part.

It is clear that were a lot of bad decision made by the powers that be.  And something I never realized from the news coverage – that CIA location had a whole helluvalot of people working there without much security.

A small security force fended off a much larger terrorist attack and saved the day but holy crap, had they not done so a lot of people would have been slaughtered.  Way too many people being protected by too few.

They should have either been allowed to clear out or been provided with additional manpower.  More help should have arrived sooner when the attack began.  Throughout the movie, theres help nearby that can be deployed, but all kinds of ridiculous, bureaucratic nonsense intervenes.

Is this opinion I’m about to say popular? Probably not.  But here it goes.  You, the public, were totally lied too.  Bad decision making let this whole mess happen and then the government tried to cover it up with some nonsense that it was a spontaneous protest over an anti-Islamic video that got out of control and could never have been predicted.

Sigh.  Yeah.  Protestors don’t have mortars.  Protestors don’t have training.  Protestors aren’t heavily armed with AKs and so on.

The government really should have just been straight with people and been like, “Yup.  We screwed up.  Here’s what we did wrong and here’s what we’ll do so it doesn’t happen again.”

Another issue the film raises that we didn’t hear much about in the media – a number of good Libyans did come to the security team’s aid.  Some fought along side with them in the attempt to rescue the ambassador.  Others provided them with information “i.e. don’t go that way there’s bad guys over there, etc.”  A Libyan interpreter who could have left at the start sticks with the team till the end.

And after the attack, over a hundred thousand Libyans held a demonstration to state they did not support the attack.

Soo…ok…the Middle East is a place of great turmoil, but it should be remembered that not everyone there is a total dick.

As for the election…Hilary did get up and make the statement, “What difference does it make?” i.e. was it an attack or was it a protest over videos.  I’m sorry.  It does make a difference. Government needs to be honest with people.

Does that mean Trump is any better?  No.  I have misgivings about a candidate who feels “schlonged” is acceptable vocabulary for the leader of the free world.

To break my non-political rule just this once, this may be the  election where South Park’s admonition that all elections come down between the choice between a douche or a turd sandwich is truer than ever.

Hell, it might be the first election where I don’t even vote.

But…you should vote for whoever you want and still feel welcome in my 3.5 readers club. And more importantly, you should a) not hate me for briefly dipping a toe into political waters for purposes of a movie review and b) more, more importantly, buy lots of copies of my future books that have yet to be written.

Finally, one issue the movie points out to take away from all of this.  There’s a tendency in the media to treat wartime security contracts like crap, like they’re evil cutthroat mercenaries or something but its obvious that they also do a lot of good and in this case, prevented a lot of people from being killed.

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Jan 16 2016
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Movies

Movie Review – The Revenant (2015)

The Old West. Beautiful landscapes. Bitter cold. Dangerous animals…

…and men wearing various hollowed out animal carcasses as hats and coats.

BQB here with a view of the Oscar frontrunner, The Revenant.

Be forewarned there are SPOILERS ahead, so don’t come after me for revenge if you read on and the movie’s ruined for you.

You know, 3.5 readers, I’m not sure the average person grasps the concept of time.

To think, two hundred years ago, men were trudging through the frozen wilderness, fighting for their lives just to skin some beasts and sell their fur for a few measly bucks.

You’ve got it pretty good today in comparison now, don’t you?  Yeah. Think about that the next time you start yelling at Siri for giving one of her bullshit answers to your clearly pronounced question.

Our story begins with a band of fur traders.  Domhnall Gleeson plays their boss, Captain Andrew Henry.  Leonardo DiCaprio is the company’s scout, Hugh Glass and Tom Hardy? He’s Fitzgerald, the villainous douche of the film.

Tom may be stuck playing villainous douches forever because he plays them so well, just as he did with Batman’s Baine.  Oh wait, then again, he did play Mad Max, so I stand corrected.

I won’t spoil the details so….yadda yadda yadda…long story short, Glass has the ever loving shit mauled out of him by a bear, Fitzgerald, villainous douche that he is, leaves Glass behind and Glass hauls his horribly wounded body across the wilderness to seek his revenge.

There’s a bit more to it than that, but I don’t want to spoil it, even though I warned you about spoilers.

Great use of a CGI bear. I’ve had mixed feelings about CGI for awhile now.  It can provide amazing effects, or it can make a movie look cartoonish and silly, depending on how it was use.

Here, it was used in such a way that I really believed that a damn Grizzly bear was beating the shit out of a Hollywood leading man.

Great performances all around.  Hardy, as Fitzgerald, is a douche, but you’re also left with an understanding of how horrible the frontier was.  Would you have done the things that Fitzgerald did to survive or is there a limit to the depravity you’d take part in just to save your skin?  Fitzgerald didn’t have a limit and none of us will ever really know unless we’re put in a life or death situation.  Let’s hope we’re never put in one.

Domhnall Gleeson had a banner 2015. Ex Machina.  Brooklyn.  Shit, he’s even friggin General Hux in Star Wars.  And now The Revenant.  And before all this he was what?  Ronald Weasley’s brother in those Harry Potter movies???

Holy Crap, someone get me that guy’s agent.

Finally, let me just say as an avid movie buff, it’s been a pleasure to see Leonardo DiCaprio grow up on screen over the years.  He was the extra add on cute kid in the Growing Pains when all the other Seaver children started getting older.  Then he was Jack in Titanic.  Then his career could of gone anywhere but he put on some muscle, started getting movies like Blood Diamond and so on.

I think the best role he ever had was as Jordan Belfort in The Wolf of Wall Street.  That scene where he takes too many drugs and his body ends up like a pile of useless jello but he tries to move around at the same time…hilarious and horribly tragic at the same time.

He deserved an Oscar for that but that wasn’t his year.  Hopefully, this one will be.

I mean, not that his life is lacking or anything.  He probably sticks his head out the front door every morning and gets mauled by a hundred hot chicks but still.  He’s overdue for an award.

A thumbs up from BQB and consider seeing it on the big screen, just so you can get a full view of the mountains and scenery and nature and shit.

The movie itself is also worthy of winning Best Picture.  It’ll be great to see a deserving film take home the prize after that pile of crap Birdman walked away with it.

STATUS: Shelf worthy.

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Jan 11 2016
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Movies

Movie Review – Ridiculous 6 (2015)

Times they are a changin’ and thus here I am with my first review of a movie released straight to Netflix.

They had these when I was a kid, 3.5 readers.  They were called straight to video and they almost always involved bad action.

Anyway, this one’s a Western comedy starring Adam Sandler and here’s the OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING.

You know kids, there was a time when hearing “Adam Sandler” meant a guarantee the movie was going to be hilarious.

These days, I’m a little torn on the “Adam Sandler sucks” argument.  I’m not sure if he, per se “sucks” or if the world has just changed a lot since his hey day in the 1990s and things people found funny back then aren’t what people find funny now.

After all, he’s never really deviated too far from the comedy formula that people used to love.

This one wasn’t his worst.

Sandler is sort of the straight man in this one.  He’s Tommy/White Knife.  Abandoned by his father (Frank Stockton played by Nick Nolte) and orphaned when his mother is gunned down, a young Tommy is taken in and raised by kindly Native Americans.  There, he becomes fast with a blade, earning him his second name.

Long story short, Frank comes to visit and we learn that he’s in trouble with some desperadoes.  He owes them $50,000.  They’re going to kill him if they don’t get it.

So our hero sets on a mission to rob only other bad people to raise the money and along the way, is joined by five men, each one, as it turns out, the product of Frank’s illicit affairs across the West.

I’ll let you watch and find out who the brothers are and who plays them.  Half the movie involves him meeting his brothers along the way.

I will say to my surprise, Taylor Lautner of Twilight fame steals the show as Lil’ Pete, the simpleton who was just on his way to the ice cream store when he ends up joining with Sandler.  He does a pretty great goofy voice which provides most of the laughs in the film.

There are a lot of cameos.  Steve Buscemi plays a barber who fixes every wound with a liberal dose of shaving cream.

Vanilla Ice plays Mark Twain, donning full Twain garb but still speaking like a rapper.  Seemed odd, though I wonder if the joke is that Twain was the rapper of his day, or rappers are the Twain of our day.  Either way, every generation has its share of writers pushing the envelope with their writing, though its done in different ways.

So let me put it this way.  Probably not one you want to trip over yourself to stream, but if you don’t have much else to do, it’s worth checking out.

 

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Jan 04 2016
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Star Wars Discussion – SPOILERS

A discussion of the next three Star Wars movies.  SPOILERS.

In the originals, now 4-6:

  • A NEW HOPE – Luke, a farm boy from a desert planet, comes across a droid with sensitive information.  This leads him on an adventure in which he realizes that the Force is strong with him.
  • THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK – Luke has power but needs a trainer. He seeks Yoda, who trains him.
  • RETURN OF THE JEDI – Luke comes into his own as a Jedi and becomes the badass he was always meant to be.

THE NEW MOVIES  – SPOILERS!!!

  • THE FORCE AWAKENS – Rey, a scavenger from a desert world, comes across a droid with sensitive information, leading her on an adventure in which she realizes the Force is strong with her.  It ends with her meeting Luke Skywalker.

THIS LEADS ME TO PREDICT…

  • EPISODE 8 – Luke will train Rey as Yoda trained him in Empire.
  • EPISODE 9 – Rey will be the ultimate, fully confident badass Jedi in the final film that Luke was in Return.

In other words, Force Awakens kind of rehashed A New Hope and I theorize the next two will mirror Empire and Return of the Jedi.

Discuss.

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Jan 02 2016
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Movies

Movie Review – Point Break (2015)

Wanted to like it. Did not.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of the Point Break reboot.

SPOILERS!

We older folks hate it when they remake/reboot our beloved classics, don’t we?

Personally, I’m ok with it. Making a new version doesn’t mean the old version disappears. It’s interesting to see what can be done with a plot and characters when the whole thing is updated to current times.

The new Robocop movie, for example, was, in my opinion, a great addition.

But then there’s this pile of junk that gives reboots a bad name.

Don’t get me wrong. The stunts are all spectacular. Squirrel suit diving, parachuting, big wave surfing, snowboarding, it is filled with all kinds of action that you’ll want to see on the big screen.

But it’s lacking in the character development department that made the original such a beloved hit.

If you’ve never seen either one, the plot is that there are a group of armed robbers/adrenaline junkies who follow a “live fast, die young” motto, constantly looking for the next high that comes with performing outrageous extreme sports.

FBI agent Johnny Utah, a danger junkie himself, is assigned to use his skills to infiltrate the gang undercover and along the way, befriends Bodhi, the gang’s leader. Utah is torn between friendship and camaraderie in a group that gets the adrenaline junkie lifestyle, but he’s also a cop and can’t allow them to keep breaking the law, robbing banks and so forth.

To this installment’s credit, they change up the plot a bit and try to make it their own. The original was set in America. This one goes all over the world.

But while efforts were made to cast a lot of good looking people, nothing really happens to make me care about what happens to them the way I did in the original.

It’s up to you on this one, 3.5 readers. If you’re into outrageous stunts, you’ll want to catch it on the big screen. If you were looking for plot, you’ll be disappointed.

STATUS : Not shelf worthy

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Dec 21 2015
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Movies

Movie Review – Sisters (2015)

There were no lightsabers in this one but it still had Tina and Amy in plenty of compromising positions.

BQB here with a review of Sisters.

Obligatory SPOILER warning.

This movie follows that great tradition of “kids throw a house party that goes wildly out of control and end up in big trouble with their parents” movies before it.

The twist? These kids are in their forties. Yup. “The Greatest Generation” is gone and kids doing dumb things well into adulthood is the new norm for a lot of people.

Throwing a wild house party as an adult. Sheesh. That’s almost as irresponsible as being an adult who blogs about nerdy stuff for the benefit of 3.5 readers.

Amy (Maura) is the always reliable, super dependable big sister. Kate (Tina) is the wild and wacky little sister. As teenagers, the Ellis sisters threw “Ellis Island” parties whenever their parents weren’t around.

That all changes when Mom (Dianne Wiest) and Dad (James Brolin) sell the family home so they can downsize to a condo.

The sisters are told to clean out their childhood rooms over the weekend and don’t mess up the house as the buyers will be taking it over on Monday.

Naturally, they throw one last house party instead.

Problem? All their old high school friends are in their forties now too. They’re all lame party poopers with worries about kids, jobs, life etc.

Without giving too much away, the sisters kick the party into gear but once it starts it doesn’t stop and the house, their relationship with their parents, and Kate’s relationship with her teenage daughter (who’s wondering when her mother will grow up) all end up on the line.

It’s laugh out loud funny as the ladies engage in all kinds of rude, crude and socially unacceptable activities. A bevy of comedians take on roles as the various unruly guests.

It’s a lot of fun. Obviously, go see Star Wars first. But then go see this.

STATUS: Shelf worthy.

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Dec 20 2015
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Movies

Star Wars: The Force Awakens – Short, Spoilerish review

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Hey geeks, nerds, dweebs, and assorted poindexters totaling 3.5.

BQB here, freshly returned from seeing Episode 7.

This is a short review. There will be some light spoilers. I’m going to give it awhile  before I get around to a full, in-depth review, what with everyone trying to avoid spoilers and all.

But, I will give some stuff away so if you’re super into no spoilers then be warned of SPOILERS!!!

In short…I loved it. JJ and Co. did a great job. In many ways, it felt like the Star Wars of old circa 1977-1983, but updated with modern graphics and tech. Homage paid to those films in a believable way, not a jokey, silly way.

I missed A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back in theaters, but did see Return of the Jedi in the theater as a tiny tot. As a young man, I loved the prequels mostly because it just seemed awesome to see Jedis on screen again.

As I got older, I realized that the prequels were more or less excellently rendered cartoons with people in them. CGI graphics were at the height of their popularity so Lucas and Co. tossed as much on the screen as possible.

CGI is awesome but when overused, the movie becomes less live action and more cartoon. I think JJ and friends got that and gave us a perfect blend of CGI and reality.

It was true to plot, characters…it did make me feel old.  Those actors who played the heroes I loved and admired as that tiny tot watching Return of the Jedi in the movie theater are getting up there and are on their way to becoming one with the Force.

I suppose that’s just the “circle of life” to quote the Lion King, but I swear I feel like it was just yesterday that I was that little kid watching Luke as the Jedi in black and Leia strangling the shit out of Jabba in her slave outfit.

Come to think of it, maybe that’s why I’m so weird. My parents took me to see a movie in which a scantily clad woman strangled an obese space slug with a chain.

Anyway…I’m not sure I understand the political workings of the Resistance vs. The First Order and how the Republic acts as a government in the middle. If someone wants to explain that, I’m all ears.

Though I appreciate JJ understood viewers weren’t looking for a big explanation of the politics, unlike George Lucas, who turned half of those prequels into CGI alien C-Span what with them debating in the galactic senate and all.

One weird thing had nothing to do with the movie. I went to see it at my local theater. Its a pretty decent theater. Its not a run down dump or anything, fairly new but not like a really awesome theater with mega screens and stadium seating, recliners and gourmet popcorn and crap.

Oddly, there was barely anyone in the theater. I actually went out this afternoon to buy my ticket for an evening showing so I’d be sure to get a ticket and I got there early to get a good seat and it was weird – there were plenty of seats. I never had to do anything special. Could have walked right in.

I wonder about that. I doubt it has anything to do with the movie. I’m wondering a) maybe everyone loved it so much they made the trek to bigger, badasser theaters nearby or b) maybe everyone bought into the “buy your tickets online or you’ll never get into the madhouse opening weekend!” and stayed away. I hope it wasn’t the latter.

Good stuff. Enjoyable. A+

Go see it and when I get a chance to gather my thoughts I’ll write more.

May the force be with you, nerds.

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Dec 17 2015
5 Comments
Movies

Movie Review – Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

Hey there, 3.5 readers. Due to some fancy footwork I, Bookshelf Q. Battler, was able to attend an advanced screening of the movie every sci-fi nerd has been dying to see and I can’t contain myself any longer!

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

OK.  You’ve been warned.  May the force be with you if you read further.

OK, here we go.  Sorry about that.  I calmed down. I’m fine now.

Our story begins with Rey, a young junk trader who happens upon the wrecked hull of an old, crashed star destroyer. Carefully, and with the assistance of her trusty companion BB-8, she lowers herself into the belly of the ship to look around and see if there’s anything she can scavenge.

Oh, what does she find? Oh it’s so amazing. I don’t think I will spoil it for you just yet. I want your jaw to drop when you see it.  Go see it then come back here and tell me about it.

BUT – a contingent of stormtroopers patrolling the area want it too and Rey has to beat feet out of there.  Poor little BB-8 can barely keep up. He beeps and boops a number of complaints on the way out.

All seems doomed until….HOORAY!!!! Han Solo and Chewbacca, now in their advanced age, happen to be flying by in the Millennium Falcon after getting into some mischief and they blast the shit out of the storm troopers and save Rey.

Han’s all like, “Well I hope there’s a good reason why I stuck my neck out for you kid.”

And Rey shows Han and Chewie the artifact that she’s found. Chewie goes bonkers and wants no part of this (which he communicates through a series of growls that Han translates) but Han talks him into helping out.

Han explains to Rey that the only man that can help them now is Luke Skywalker, who we learn has been ex-communicated from the Jedi order because…

Oh geez.  Should I tell you? It’s really a big spoiler. In fact, it was a very bold decision by Disney if you ask me.

Luke Skywalker is a) gay and b) has married a male alien, Fazli Sekpo (sorry, I’m not sure if I’m spelling that right. Fazli is a Kweloni, a humanoid race with yellow scales and a permanently furrowed brow. I don’t know if Fazli is just angry all the time or if that’s just what Kwelonis look like.

I can tell you this is a movie that could not have been made ten years ago but due to our socially progressive modern society, we can accept the fact that Luke is homosexual but still remains our trusty, beloved hero after all of these years.

I discussed this choice with my friends on the way home. Everyone was cool with Luke being gay.  That wasn’t a problem. We were divided on whether or not it was ok to be with someone outside of your species though.

One buddy of mine declared “that’s totally bestiality!” and I was like, well, no, Fazli is a sentient, intelligent being so why would it be wrong to have a relationship with a being like that?

And then he was all like, “Well if my dog started talking I wouldn’t marry him!”

And then I was like, “Fazli’s a bit more advanced than your dog, you closed minded caveman!”

Then we both apologized.  But I tell you just from what I see on social media, a lot of people are having this same argument. People are going to be talking about it a long time.

Personally, I think that sucks that Luke was kicked out of the Jedi order for being with the man he loves. The Jedis say it wasn’t for that.  You just aren’t allowed to marry anyone as a Jedi.  Love interferes with your Jedi training. Anakin wasn’t allowed to marry Amidala after all.  Are the Jedis on the level or are they anti gay rights? I don’t know.

There is a theory that we might find out Fazli is actually a woman in a future movie.  We may just not understand what that particular alien race is like and maybe we assume certain things that Fazli does make him a man when he’s actually a woman. There were some hints at that.  I don’t think so.  But we’ll see.

OK.  Moving on. That wasn’t even the biggest controversy. So Captain Phasma is pissed.  Totally pissed that her storm troopers lost Rey.  So she sends a squad after Rey, but Finn, a storm trooper, has second thoughts and bails out the mission.

He doesn’t want to be a storm trooper anymore. He’s felt this way a long time.  He has been able to do odd things since he was a child.  Move things with his hand and so on.  He kept it to himself.  He grew up on a planet run by Empire holdouts (led by the dastardly Kylo Ren) and they’ve declared anyone with Jedi like abilities will be executed, so Finn always kept his abilities to himself.

But no longer.  He can’t allow a woman his age to become storm trooper blast fodder. So he tracks down Rey, Han and Chewie and Luke and they get together and plan out their next move.

They are summoned by Princess Leia Organa, now Queen Leia.  You see, she was chosen by the good beings of Naboo to hold the throne her mother once held.

It was a split decision between the humans and the gungans. Jar Jar makes a brief cameo as the deciding vote in Leia’s favor.  Everyone booed and screamed and threw popcorn and tomatoes and shit at the screen.

Leia is married to Lando Calrissian now and Billy Dee Williams looks good for a dude pushing 80.  He cheats on Leia often with hot green space babes though, and Leia misses Han.

Han misses Leia too and they agree that if they get through this ordeal alive, that Leia will divorce Lando and marry Han.  Chewie will officiate, having been an ordained minister for years.

C3P0 and R2D2 are the surprise villains of this flick.  They’re tired of being the comic relief for six f$%king movies and want in on the real action.  So they give up the Falcon’s location to Kylo Ren, who calls Captain Phasma in to blow all the heroes up and that is it.

That’s how it ends.  With every character from Star Wars you ever loved being totally dead.  The only one left is Jar Jar, who dawns Darth Vader’s mask (the item Rey found in the beginning) and pledges to finish what Darth started.  Jar Jar and “Ani” were old pod racing buddies after all.

Jesus, you read this far?  You’re very dedicated. OK.  Admission.  This is all made up and I did not see the movie at all.  I hope to soon.  And they should adopt this post as the script for the sequel.

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Dec 14 2015
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Movies

Movie Review – Creed (2015)

An aging boxer and his young protege, the son of his former friend/rival….

TRAVEL TO RUSSIA TO BEAT THE EVER LOVING SHIT OUT OF THAT DIRTY ROTTEN SOVIET COMMIE IVAN DRAGO AS PAYBACK FOR KILLING APOLLO IN ROCKY IV!  USA! USA! USA!

OK. So that wasn’t the plot. But it really should have been. Totally would have been had I written it. Maybe that’s why Sly never takes my calls.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of Creed.

SPOILERS AHEAD.

When it comes to the seventh installment of a film series chronicling the lives of people who beat the crap out of each other, “good writing” is a phrase you’d think would not come to mind.

You’d be wrong. Stallone has done it again.

When Rocky Balboa came out in 2006, I thought Stallone was scraping the bottom of the barrel then. But then I watched it. Rocky’s challenge in that film wasn’t to win, it was just to stay alive as an old timer in the ring for one last go around.

In that movie, he delivered a speech to his son that sums up the whole series, i.e. “life will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.”

Rocky’s always been about trying.  Yoda said “Do or do not, there is no try.” Rocky said, “Try.” Shut up Yoda.

Anyway, move forward nine years, I thought Stallone was REALLY reaching by putting out yet another film but low and behold, he’s done it again.

THE SETUP: Adonis Johnson aka Adonis Creed is the illegitimate son of famous boxing legend Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers, who you might also remember as the only tough guy in Predator who didn’t go on to become a state governor).

He grew up in two separate worlds. After his mother’s death, he ended up on the streets, scrapping with the other boys and landing himself in juvenile detention.

Enter Apollo’s wife, Mary Anne (played by Phylicia Rashad – Mrs. Huxtable in a movie!) who out of the kindness of her heart, adopts Adonis, even though he’s the product of her late husband’s extramarital hi jinx.

But you can’t dump on Apollo too much for not being there for Adonis. Fans of the series know that in Rocky IV, Apollo died at the hands of that roid raging commie Ivan Drago, but Goddamnit, he died for America. He died so Rocky could challenge Drago to a rematch and win in the name of capitalism. Suck it, Soviets.

That was the last movie I remember Brigitte Nielsen being hot in, come to think of it.

Anyway, Adonis then moves on to the good life with Mary Anne, who lives in a mansion because unlike that dumbass Rocky, she didn’t let a degenerate moron like Pauly manage her family’s finances.  God you suck, Pauly.

All this leads to Adonis being very confused. He wants to step out of the shadow of a famous father he never knew. He wants to prove himself. Be his own man. He avoids using Creed’s name.

He wants to be a boxer but no one will train him…because he doesn’t HAVE to be a boxer. Boxing, as various people tell him, is a sport for people who don’t have any other shot at the good life. Adonis has a wealthy benefactor mother. He doesn’t need to get his face punched for a living.

Or does he? Financially, he doesn’t. Mentally, he does. He wants glory and thus he journeys to Philly and pesters elderly Rocky to become his Mickey..err, manager.

But it’s not easy to make it as a Creed.  Whatever success Adonis finds, people attribute it to a father he never knew. And there are people who want to take advantage of his famous last name. All the while, there are people who accuse him of coming from privilege which he views as unfair. Mary Anne may have saved him, but he never lost the hunger of a kid growing up on the streets.

There’s even a subplot in which Adonis falls in love with a female musician with progressive hearing loss…i.e. she’s trying to become a famous singer before she can’t hear herself sing anymore.  Stop!  Stop! I can’t handle all this sadness!

It was great.  It really was.  Stallone has gone to the well twice now in a series that by all rights, jumped the shark in Rocky 5 (the one where Rocky has a street fight with ‘Tommy Gunn.'”  Boo! Worst Rocky ever!

Michael B. Jordan proves his acting chops.  I’d like to see more from Tessa Thompson, who plays Adonis’ girlfriend.

I will say this. If its the last film in the Rocky series, its a worthy ending. If it isn’t, I have no clue where Rocky could go from here, though I really feel that my “Rocky and Adonis go to Russia to beat the shit out of elderly Ivan Drago” could be a worthy contender.

Have your people call my people, Sly. I’ll totally write that screenplay for you.

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Nov 23 2015
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Movie Reviews

Movie Review – The Hunger Games – Mockingjay Part 2 (2015)

“You live long enough to die a hero or become the villain.”

Such was the advice provided to us in The Dark Knight and it rings true in this final film in the Hunger Games series in which Katniss faces not only President Snow, but an enemy in her own camp as well.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2.

SPOILER WARNING: Reading below will lead to the spoilers being ever in your favor.

The critics are already foaming at the mouths because this movie didn’t beat last year’s installment, Mockingjay Part 1.  

That’s a dumb assessment because it still raked in a hundred million.  Did your movie bring in a hundred million in its first weekend?  What?  You don’t even have a movie?  Oh.  Ok then.  Shut your cake hole.

Our finale begins with some very war weary rebels, exhausted by battle and willing to make morally questionable choices just to win.  Some believe its ok to kill civilian loyalists to the Capitol as long as it gets the job of ousting Snow done.

How far should revenge be taken?  It’s a question asked throughout the movie and applicable to the real world.  One side does X, the other responds with Y…the reciprocity keeps going until one side is big enough to, in the words of Elsa, “let it go, let it go.”

The rebels reach the Capitol and Katniss and friends form a “star squad” meant to wow the people with footage of their daring do, which is supposed to be captured as they hang back from the fighting.

But Snow has other plans.  He’s rigged the Capitol with traps and is recording everything, broadcasting the biggest episode of “The Hunger Games” ever as the war turns into one giant game.

Oh and Peeta is still brainwashed.  So Katniss has to deal with that too.

The film turns on Katniss facing a troublesome dilemma, namely that the rebels’ president, Alma Coin (Julianne Moore) is looking like she’ll make President Snow look like a boy scout when she takes over.

Thus, Katniss has to make a choice but I’ll let you check it out to see how that unfolds.

One complication the movie faced was the untimely death of Phillip Seymour Hoffman, who played Plutarch.  He was in it briefly and there are non-talking clips of him throughout.  A speech he was supposed to give to Katniss at the end is replaced by Woody Harrelson’s Haymitch reading a note from Plutarch at the end.

It worked out.  As a viewer, you understand given the loss of Hoffman and its done in a way that it makes sense as to why Haymitch is reading a letter rather than Plutarch talking to Katniss himself.

IMO, the Peeta vs. Gale question is wrapped up too neatly.  Katniss has suffered that immortal youthful angsty question of “I love them both and they’re so nice what do I do?”

One of them turns out to be nicer than the other but I’ll let you watch and find out who.  Kudos to Hollywood for a rare display of open mindedness by at least allowing a short nerdy guy to even be in the running.

Overall, lots of great action, suspense, etc.  It was an excellent series that introduced us to the lovely and talented J Law.

As a viewer, when you invest time in a series, you want it to pay off in the end and this one does.

STATUS: Shelf worthy.

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