Daily Archives: February 4, 2015

Blog posts – how often? Feedback welcome

This blogger wrote about me…why haven’t you? Why do you deny your audience the wit and wonder of Bookshelfbattle.com ?

Robert Pimm: novels, short stories and more

Why should you read this blog?  Are you reading it?  What about my friends on Facebook, where I am republishing these posts?

I want your feedback.  Even if it’s bad (see below).

I recently read a blog discussing the case for writing a post every day. The author decided to attempt this for the rest of 2015, even if this meant some pretty short posts (“I like waffles!”)


Robert Pimm at SALT Gallery in Istanbul, January 2015.  Note rare shirt logo.

He has been as good as his word.

I, on the other hand, am torn.  (Aside: my good friend Claudia Kennedy told me in Vienna in 1985 that the words “Keep coming up with love but it’s so slashed and torn”, sung in a raspy voice by David Bowie on the 1981 Queen and David Bowie version sent, to put it politely, a frisson down her spine.  It’s at minute 2.16…

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Random Thoughts…

…that plague the mind of Bookshelf Q. Battler, in no particular order:

1)  Why does Elsa view her magic freeze powers as a curse?  Why does she not use them to control the world and rule her subjects with an icey fist?

2)  Why do they put braille on restroom door signs?  Do blind men rub their hands all over the walls of public buildings, find a braille door sign, go, “Whoops! That’s the ladies room!” and then feel their way around again to the men’s room?  And would it matter if he went into the wrong room?  Because, you know, he’s blind, so it’s not like he’s going to see anything.

Yes, noble readers, who have followed me on my year long quest to post once a day, these are the thoughts that fill the deep recesses of my mind.  Trivial, absurd, ridiculous minutiae that few bother to even consider.

Thoughts like:

3)  Why do aliens only abduct people from the South?  And why do aliens abduct humans at all anymore?  One would think at some point, their skilled alien scientists would reach a limit as to what can be learned from probe related experiments.  I dare say, somewhere in outer space, an alien scientist has published an article entitled, “Stop Probing the Humans, We Figured Them All Out” and yet, it’s being ignored, because he only posted it on alien wordpress.

4)  If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?  Yes –  KKKKKRRRRRRRRRACCCCCK BOOOOOOM!

5) Why does Hollywood ugly up good looking people so they can play ugly people?  They did it to Charlize Theron in Monster and Christian Bale in American Hustle.  Somewhere, there is an overweight man with a combover who would have been perfect to played the lead role in American Hustle.  The poor guy probably ignored advice from countless friends and family members – “No!  Don’t move to Hollywood and try to be an actor!  There will never be a part for a fat man with a combover!”  And finally, finally!  There’s a part for a fat man with a combover and what do they do?  They take a handsome man, stuff his shirt with a pillow, and give him a fake combover wig.

Damn you, beautiful people!  Don’t you already have enough?  Why must you steal parts from the ugly?

6)  If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.  If you teach a man to fish, he will eat for a lifetime.  If you take a man to Crazy Larry’s All-You-Can-Eat Discount Fish Nugget Bar, he will get food poisoning.

7)  How was it possible for the A-Team to evade justice for so many years?  How was the government not able to find a team that included the handsomest man in the world, an old man who smoked a giant stogie everywhere he went, a lunatic who inevitably broke out into loud and boisterous songs, and an enormous bodybuilder who was dripping with solid gold chains?

8)  Was Stonehenge an ancient druid singles bar?

9) Is the Yeti little more than Big Foot’s Arctic cousin?

10)  When Santa delivers a kid an X-Box, does he have to pay Bill Gates a royalty?

Join me tomorrow, I was will bring you more…RANDOM THOUGHTS.

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I Like Waffles

I do.  I really do.

God this is going to be a long year.

And to make it book related – I like to eat waffles and read books…at the same time?

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And I Thought I Was a Slow Writer…

Harper Lee, the now 88 year old author of the classic, To Kill a Mockingbird, has announced that her second book, Go Set a Watchman, will be published this summer.

According to this CNN article, Lee originally wrote Scout as an adult, with flashbacks to her youth. Her editor preferred the flashbacks, urged Lee to write an entire novel about young Scout, and the rest is history.

To Kill a Mockingbird was published on July 11, 1960 and this sequel, which will feature an adult Scout, will come out July 11 of this year, a full 55 years later.

In other words, calm down wannabe writers.  If one of America’s most beloved authors took five and a half decades off between novels, you can forgive yourself for putting your novel off for a week while you binge watch Breaking Bad.

I’m not sure about the name though.  Go Set a Watchman.  It doesn’t really sound very sequel-ish.

My To Kill a Mockingbird Sequel Title Suggestions:

Mockingbird II – Judgement Mock

Mockingbird II – Scout’s Revenge

Mockingbird II – Scout’s Honor (that’s actually pretty witty)

2 Mock 2 Murious

Journey to the Center of the Alabama

Mockingbird vs. Mockingjay – the Ultimate Scout vs. Katniss Royale

Mockingbird II – Electric Boo-Radley-ga-loo

Mockingbird II:  Atticus’ Revenge

By the way, one of the morals of this story?  Save your work.  According to the above article, Lee thought the novel was lost, but it was found by her lawyer.  Alas, Ms. Lee didn’t have the ability to save a copy on a flash drive because back in those days, your options were either a typewriter or, yeesh – pen and paper.

I hate to admit it, but I’m only half-way through To Kill a Mockingbird.  Ten years ago, I started to read it, found it marvelous, got busy, put it down, forgot about it, have been meaning to re-read it all the way through this time ever since.

Now I actually have to since there is a sequel.

And I’m just throwing it out there, but even though she’s 88, Lee really needs to push out a third, just so she can enter the ranks of today’s authors who now pretty much start out with trilogies from beginning.

“Hello, I’m Harper Lee, Author of the Mockingbird Trilogy.”

Hey, all joking aside, this is great.   I look forward to it.   What do you think?

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