October 14, 2015 – 12:00 A.M.
Night fell and we were back in the Compensator, heading west through the Great Random Forest, a tract of undeveloped land where the trees grew tall and other than the squirrels, there wasn’t much of anyone to keep a guy company.
“What’s that?” I asked, pointing to a plywood sign.
Scrawled on it with black spray paint were the words:
Sanctuary for the Worthy
Head Ye Who Would Dare to Fort Hauser
(Formerly Known as the East Randomtown Park and Rec Center)
“Fort Hauser?” VGRF asked.
“Hauser,” I said. “Doug Hauser!”
Doug Hauser – BQB’s rival for the title of East Randomtown’s Most Famous Citizen
“The guy who was an extra for thirty seconds in one episode of Miami Vice in 1985?” VGRF asked. “The guy you beat for the title of most famous East Randomtown resident when you obtained 3.5 readers for the Bookshelf Battle Blog?”
“The same,” I replied. “He must have started a survivor colony.”
East Randomtown Park was a family favorite. Picnics, concerts, sports, you name it. It had a walking trail, a beautiful pond, tennis courts, I could go on and on. It was one of the few locations the town had going for it. At the Westernmost point of the tract of land was a rec center with a basketball court and a gym, not to mention an indoor track and swimming pool.
“Something doesn’t smell right,” VGRF said.
“I’m sorry,” Bernie said. “That was me, yo.”
Blandie gagged. “Oh my God! I need air!”
“That’s not a good idea,” VGRF said.
“It’s not a good idea to die of asphyxiation either,” Blandie said as she rolled down her window.
Alien Jones, who was sitting between my ex and my friend, chimed in.
“I must concur with the blonde human. The stench is quite potent. Fairly close in molecular composition to the gas banned for warfare purposes by Intergalactic Space Law.”
“I wasn’t talking about that anyway,” VGRF said. “This guy just puts out signs inviting people to seek his help because…why? The kindness of his heart? I’m sorry but throwing in with him would be a terrible idea.”
“A zombie apocalypse can bring out the worst in people,” I said. “Or the best. Maybe this is Hauser at his best?”
“Your mate is astute, BQB,” Alien Jones said. “I sense this is the worst.”
“That’s just an old zombie apocalypse trope,” I said. “The old ‘invite people to a camp under the guise of charity then rob and/or murder and/or eat them’ routine. This isn’t a book or a TV show. This is real life. We should check it out.”
“Aren’t you’re the last person Hauser wants to see?” VGRF asked. “Seeing as how Mayor Bramble was planning to have Hauser’s statue torn down and replaced with a sculpture of you?”
“I never wanted that,” I said. “I’m sure Hauser knows that. Head to the park, babe. There’s safety in numbers. Morganstern can’t kill everyone.”
“Don’t be so sure of that,” Alien Jones said.
Bookshelf Battle 