I am an old alien.
I’m young for my species but ancient compared to you humans.
You hairless apes have no idea what a spec of dust your existence is in relation to the vast reaches of time and space.
And alas, the existence of my colleague, the human whose safety I was sworn by my ruler to make my highest priority, was in doubt.
My species is one that thinks rationally and logically, yet we are not devoid of emotion.
Thus, I understood the weeping of Video Game Rack Fighter as she sat by Bookshelf Q. Battler’s bedside, holding her loved one’s hand as his unconscious body rested in bed.
I have no junk. No genitalia of any kind. My only orifice is my mouth. Other than that, my body is water tight.
Yet I am in a relationship, of sorts. Back on my home planet, I have a government mandated life mate, Alien Rozencrantz.
There’s nothing sexual going on there, since my species is comprised of asexual beings that reproduce through a laboratory based cloning process.
The Mighty Potentate pairs us off at random, mandating that we watch out for one another as replacing a clone is expensive.
Even so, were anything to happen to Alien Rosencrantz, I would be mildly perturbed for an appropriate mourning period before reporting to His Potentosity for vaporization for failing to protect my life mate.
So I was able to relate to VGRF’s sadness at the possibility of losing the partner with which she engaged in a primitive fluid exchange ritual.
“Perhaps you should rest now, human,” I said.
“No,” VGRF said. “I want to be here when he wakes up.”
Blandie, the other human female, stretched her arms out and yawned.
“Oh, look at the time,” she said. “We might as well get going Bernie. It’s not like BQB is going to get any less comatose if we hang around.”
“Nah boo,” Bernie replied. “I wanna get my homie’s back.”
Blandie’s voice turned shrill.
“I said, ‘Let’s go!’”
“Fine! Damn girl.”
Bernie was already….what’s that expression humans use when the females run the show? Ah, yes. “Whipped.”
I too headed for the door.
“I’ll be back,” I said to Video Game Rack Fighter.”
“Where are you going?”
“I must call another zombie author and continue BQB’s interview series. He’d of wanted it that way.”
Bookshelf Battle 