3.5 readers, I’m not going to lie.
Wizards are a real pain in the ass.
Always acting like they’re brilliant and wise and all that bullshit. But then they’re all broke as hell, showing up at your door, sponging off you and nagging you into doing their errands and shit.
Bilbo Baggins knows what I’m talking about and if you’re dating a damn wizard then you do to.
Your boyfriend is magical.
No, I don’t mean that as in he’s perfect. I mean it as in he’s a damn spell casting practitioner of the dark arts.
From BQB HQ in fabulous East Randomtown, here are the Top Ten Warning Signs Your Boyfriend Might Be a Wizard:
10. When he asks you to polish his wand, he isn’t making an off color joke. He literally dropped his magic wand in the toilet and only you can restore it to its naturally pristine state.
9. He’s not the best guy to ask for a drink. The beverages he brings you look more like potions. Green or purple. Smoking or bubbling. (Note if your boyfriend is not a wizard do not rule out the possibility that your boyfriend might be Bill Cosby.)
8. Whenever he stinks up the bathroom, he gives you fair warning by shouting, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
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