Daily Archives: May 28, 2016

Video Game Rack Fighter’s Video Game of the Month – May 2016 – Halo 5

By: Video Game Rack Fighter, Official Bookshelf Battle Video Game Reviewer

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Ms. Video Game Rack Fighter – World’s Number One Car Thief Mayhem Champion; BQB’s Love Interest Until She Can Find a Man with a Blog That Has 7.5 Readers

Happy Memorial Day Weekend, 3.5 readers.

The Master Chief is at it again and this time he’s run afoul of UNSC (United Nations Space Command) in Halo 5.

Gotta level with you.  This game came out in October, so it’s a bit lame that I’m only now getting around to review it.

Then again, it’s equally lame that that nerd BQB only let me have a column in April.

Halo.  What a franchise. What a series. For at least 16 years or so, it’s been the number one reason why you need to have an X-Box.

There’s an intricate back story involving intergalactic intrigue, but if you don’t care about it, you can always just have fun turning aliens into go.

No offense, Alien Jones.  I’m not talking about good aliens.  I’m talking about douche aliens.

Aliens like the species who have formed the Covenant, an organization dedicated to wiping out humanity.

The Master Chief has come a long way and he’s still going. This time he’s disobeying UNSC command.  Throughout the game, you go back and forth, sometimes playing as the Master Chief, sometimes playing as Jameson Locke, the Spartan soldier ordered to bring the Chief in.

The Arbiter (an alien on the UNSC’s side) returns with Keith David lending his voice.  Meanwhile, Nathan Fillion of Firefly and last season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer gives his voice and likeness to create a Spartan soldier on Locke’s team.

Halo really upped the video game ante back in the day.  Perhaps there are video game historians with better memories than mine but I believe it was one of the very first (some might even argue the first) game where a character could run around, or jump in a vehicle, or ride in a vehicle while a computerized character drives.  Essentially, the entire battlefield is immersive and along the way, you choose the best weapons, vehicles and overall approach that fits your strengths and weaknesses.

Do you need to have played the previous five? You’ve missed out if you haven’t but no, you’ll still catch the plot. If you don’t catch it, just shoot some aliens and keep running.

Or climb in your Warthog and drive in an epic race towards safety. No Halo game is ever complete without an epic Warthog chase.

STATUS: Rack worthy.

 

 

 

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How the West Was Zombed – Chapter 104

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Run?” Miles thought to himself. “No thanks. I’ve done enough running.

The young werewolf galloped along the left side of the last box car, jumped towards it, then dug the claws on his left paw into the metal. With his right paw he punched a hole in the box car, then used both paws to rip the steel apart until there was an opening big enough for him to jump in.

Inside, the box car was pitch black. That didn’t matter to Miles. He could still see.

But the smell of all that rotten zombie fleshed packed into that giant rectangular can was ungodly.

Groans and demands for brains filled Miles’ ears. He struck wildly, his claws ripping off zombie heads, limbs and other parts.

Like ants converging on an unattended sweet, the undead swarmed on the werewolf, knocking him down, biting and scratching at him.

“Brains…ugh…urgh…brains…”

Every wound the undead opened on Miles’ body instantly closed. The werewolf stood up and shook the undead off of him.

Miles bent his knees and, as if he were spring loaded, hurtled himself through the roof of the box car.

Slade was just about to step forward when Miles emerged from the twisted steal, his fur covered with zombie guts.

“I thought I told you to run!” Slade said as he looked up at the young werewolf, who was now towering over him.

All Miles could do was growl in response. Had he been able to communicate with Slade, he would have shared what he was thinking.

Run? I’m tired of running. I’m a Goddamned werewolf. People need to start running from me.”

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How the West Was Zombed – Chapter 103

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Slade gripped Miles’ fur tightly. The young werewolf was running at a speed that was incomprehensible to the law man. Winds rushed all over them as Miles’ paws tromped across the prairie.

Soon, the Marvel of the Rails was within sight.

“Just get me on board then run,” Slade shouted into Miles’ ear. “I don’t need a dead kid on my conscience on top of everything else.”

Bringing up the Marvel’s rear was a henchwolf manning a gatling gun. He instantly spotted the duo and unleashed a hell storm of bullets upon them.

Miles zigged and zagged, dodging each shot effectively but just barely. It was all happening so fast Slade’s mind could barely keep up with it.

The lawman pointed his pistol at the henchwolf’s head and fanned the hammer, striking the back of his gun with the palm of his hand over and over until six silver-tipped bullets had tore through the henchwolf’s head. Blood splattered across the gatling gun as the henchwolf keeled over and fell onto the tracks.

Miles sped up until he was running just behind the train.

The human body comes with all manner of built in means of self-preservation. Slade had to fight ever reflex he had when he tentatively stood up on the young werewolf’s back. He knew he only had mere seconds before he’d stumble and fall, so he quickly pushed off and grabbed the railing that surrounded the gatling gun car.

Slade pulled himself on board. He took six bullets off of his bandolier and reloaded his gun as he watched Miles veer off to the left and out of sight.

The lawman climbed a rickety iron ladder until he reached the top of a box car.

The Marvel’s whistle blared. Its bell clanged. Slade struggled to maintain his balance as the train barreled down the tracks.

Far down the line, he could see smoke belching from the locomotive’s stack. That was where he needed to be.

The wind whipped up underneath the brim of his Stetson, threatening to blow it away until he pulled it down tight over his head.

Slade’s woman and his hat were both at stake, and he was determined to not lose either.

Slowly, he walked across the box car as the train rattled down the track.

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How the West Was Zombed – So Much Action

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And now the part all 3.5 of us have been waiting for – Slade’s big fight against Blythe on a fast moving train.

I’m not sure action translates well into books.

On a movie screen, you can see an explosion.

In a book, I’m not sure what an author can really do other than write, “There was an explosion.”

Oh well.  This next part is going to be action packed, so please advise me on how to make it better.

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Daily Discussion with BQB – Will Virtual Reality Be the Next Big Thing?

Happy Saturday 3.5 Readers.

Virtual reality. How big do you think it will get?

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One of BQB’s 3.5 readers reads Bookshelf Battle in VR.

A lot of articles in the news.  Seems like every tech company from Facebook to Google is getting in on the action.

VR was dabbled with in the 1990s but the graphics weren’t that good.  Community had an episode last year where they made fun of it. (Why would you want to put o a pair of VR goggles and search through a virtual filing cabinet to find a file when you could just point and click your mouse?)

I think it all depends on the quality of games and/or experiences that can be made. If they can make something that truly immerses you and allows you to pretend to do something you could otherwise never do then they might be onto something.

At any rate, the last big tech innovation was the iPad/tablets.  Now it seems like all the tech companies are going full force into Virtual Reality.

What say you, 3.5 readers?  Would you like to read this horrible blog through VR glasses?

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Movie Review – X-Men Apocalypse (2016)

X-Men in the 80’s.  So many special powers. So much Tab.

And so many SPOILERS below.

BQB here with a review of X-Men: Apocalypse.

You know 3.5 readers, as I sat in the movie theater tonight it dawned on me that it has been exactly 10 damn years since the critically panned X-Men: The Last Stand came out in May of 2006.

I only remember that because it was a happy time for me and so I remember some happy doings occurring in my life around the time I went to see it.

Then it all sank into a giant crap storm not long after that and to my surprise, an entire decade has gone by.  The Bush Presidency came to an end. The Obama Presidency is wrapping up.

Yet it seems like it was just 2006. Where does the time go?

Oh sorry. You wanted a movie review, not a BQB life lamentation.

Back on track.

The series takes a detour from the usual Professor X vs. Magneto (it’s so sad we’re mortal enemies because deep down we’re such good friends) schtick (although it is still present in this movie).

Apocalypse (Oscar Isaac), a mutant dating back to the dawn of mankind, can absorb the powers of other mutants and enhance them.  There’s nothing he can’t do so in effect, he’s a God.

Once worshipped in Ancient Egypt, Apocalypse returns to the 1980s and sets out to conquer the world. From Star Wars references to Pac Man, the producers definitely don’t want you to forget what decade you’re in.

Magneto (Michael Fassbender), Psylocke (not as much gratuitous booty as I hoped), Angel and a young Storm drink the anti-human Kool Aid that Apocalypse is preaching and become his lackies.

Meanwhile, Professor X, Mystique and the rest of the gang stand up for the humans as usual.

Lots of action, suspense, special effects.  A few origin stories for some of the X-Men jammed in (Jean Grey, Cyclops, Nightcrawler, etc.)

Sophie Turner (as Jean Grey) and Rose Byrne (as Agent Moira Mactaggert) drop their British accents and to my surprise, pass for Americans.

It scared me a little. Frankly, it reinforced my fear that double agents walk amongst us, plotting to take America back in the name of the Queen.

Aside from that, Sophie does well in her first big role outside of Game of Thrones.

I give the film credit because it does stay true the film series.  The first three films were so long ago it is hard for me to remember but there were some points in this film that had me vaguely recollecting points in the early 2000 films.

Keep the super hero flicks coming, Hollywood.  Sure, there’s a part of me that wonders why I am wasting precious hours of my life watching costumed assholes fight each other, but then I remember there’s nothing else I’d like to watch more than costumes assholes fight each other.

Will the X-Men ever team up with the Avengers? Probably not seeing as how they’re owned by separate companies, although Fox was willing to let Disney have a Spider-Man appearance in the latest Captain America movie so I suppose anything is possible.

They say the next X-Men movie will take place in the 1990s. Shit. If I have to watch costumed assholes fight each other with Bill Clinton blabbing about not inhaling on TV in the background and Greenday playing on the radio then I’m going to feel like an old ass bastard.

Even more so than I already do.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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