By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire
Bleh! Bleh! Good evening 3.5 children of the night.
I vant to suck your blood! And it’s 2016 so shit like that is cool now. #Progress
Perhaps you remember me from last year, when around this time I, Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire extracted my revenge on the League of Vampires for kicking me out for being an asshat.
So I got a couple hundred of my fangy friends killed through my gross incompetence.
Shit happens. Am I right?
Last year, I told you just a few ways to defeat a vampire.
Now, this October, I will tell you one way to defeat a vampire every day for thirty-one days.
Bleh! Follow the hashtag on Twitter and Facebook – #31defeatavampire and share your ideas for defeating vampires.
Remember, all vampires are douche faces and I hate them all and yes, largely because they won’t let me use the vampire club house anymore so now I have to pay for my own cable.
And really…who pays for cable anymore?
I’m such an asshat. Bleh.
It all starts Oct. 1 here on this dumb blog. Read it. You literally have nothing better to do.