Search Engine Optimized Poet – Kendall Jenner’s Pepsi Commercial

:::Bongo Drum Beats:::

Hey there all you hep cats and hep kittens. Come on down to the East Randomtown Java Bean, where the poets always stink and the cups are never clean.

Next on the mic is the one and only Search Engine Optimized Poet…the only rhyme-smith whose beats bring in the web searchers’ feets, ya dig?

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Pepsi!  Whoa, Pepsi!

You are what I drink when Coke is not available.

When the waitress asks, “Is Pepsi OK?”

I want to say, “No, it is not!  Your argument is assailable!”

But that would be fail-able.  Who am I to ask,

A minimum wage slave to go to a store for Coke?  What a difficult task!

Bask, in Kendall Jenner’s glow.

As she hocks syrupy goo to protestors to and fro.

No!  I do not care about your cause!

For Coke is the drink that I really want in my paws.

Pepsi is the drink that will only sort of do.

Kind of like how you’ll take someone below average,

Even though a supermodel is who you really wanted to screw.

Subdue!  My mind from such terrible frustration.

I must deliver apologies across the entire nation.

For I am being truly crass and even a little bloated, yes it’s true!

I drank too much Pepsi at the super woke protest,

And now I feel like I need to spew.

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