The Mississippi Rive will always have its own way; no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise. Zombies are equally stubborn and foolhardy. Only a ball peen hammer applied liberally to their rotting craniums can persuade them to do anything else but eat your brain.
In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot. In like fashion, few men are made of the stern stuff necessary to attack a marauding zombie head on. Instead, they cower in corners, concerned only with their personal safety. Once a man of great bravery steps up and murders all impending zombies in the vicinity, then, and only then, will a sniveling reprobate remove himself from his corner of cowardice and boldly declare, “I supported zombie killing this entire time!”
None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness; but we can try. A fountain-pen can help a man translate his thoughts onto the page and also, it works well when plunged into the brain of a zombie.
Zeal and sincerity can carry a new religion further than any other missionary except fire and sword. Fire and swords are also good weapons against filthy zombies. I’ve always found that if a zombie won’t burn, it’s best to chop its vile head off with a sword. Don’t forget to plunge the sword in the beast’s brain for good measure.