I Quit

Dear 3.5 Readers,

I quit.  It’s been a real blast, but I’m at the point where I’m so old it wouldn’t matter if I sell enough copies of Toilet Gator (the best book ever written about toilets or gators) to buy a Malibu Beach House and fill it full of hot chicks with loose morals.

I mean, had it happened ten years ago, I could have fooled myself into thinking the hot chicks wanted me for my manliness and charm.  Now that my balls are all wrinkly and my face looks like I stepped on a rake 5,000 times, what would it matter?  I would be fully aware that the women aren’t hanging out with me for me but for all of my Toilet Gator money.

So, I enjoyed writing this blog but I have decided to turn it over to my arch nemesis, the International War Criminal/Incredibly Boring Fuzzy Snow Monster, The Yeti.  He will post boring posts until the end of time.  Expect many photos of his toe nail clippings.

I had a good run.  No, my last post can’t include a lie.  It was a terrible run.  Literally every bad thing that could have possibly happened did and now I am going to ask Alien Jones to put me in one of his spare space ships and auto pilot me into the sun…that way, a little piece of me will always shine down on you 3.5 readers.

Well…maybe I won’t go that far.  I changed my mind. I will move to Tibet and become a monk.  Are monks allowed to eat pizza?  I hope so.  I’ll find out.

Thank you 3.5 readers.  You are the Yeti’s 3.5 readers now.  Enjoy.


6 thoughts on “I Quit

  1. Mei-Mei says:

    Noooo don’t leave us with the Yeti. He smells.

  2. Jason says:

    You joking or are you serious?

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