Daily Archives: March 27, 2018

Top Ten Quotes from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

#10 – “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

#9 – “Angry people are not always wise.”

#8 – “Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.”

#7 – “I have not the pleasure of understanding you.”

#6 – “I am the happiest creature in the world. Perhaps other people have said so before, but not one with such justice. I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.”

#5 – “You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged; but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever.”

#4 – “From the very beginning— from the first moment, I may almost say— of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form the groundwork of disapprobation on which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike; and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry.”

#3 – “For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors, and laugh at them in our turn?”

#2 – “I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding— certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of other so soon as I ought, nor their offenses against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.”

#1 – “An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do.”

Advertisements
Tagged , ,

Daily Discussion with BQB – Choose Your Super Power

If you were able to be magically granted one of the following super powers, which would you choose and why?  Choose only one and discuss in the comments:

  • Ability to fart fire.  (You knew that was coming.)
  • X-Ray vision but it only allows you to see senior citizens naked.  You can look through anything else but like, when you look at hot chicks they’ll still have their clothes on.  Bogus.
  • Vivid, highly detailed memory of anything that ever happened on any Wednesday in your life.
  • Perfect parallel parking.
  • Perfect grammar.
  • Exceptional mathematical computation abilities at a high speed.
  • Mind reading capabilities but you can’t read the mind of anyone named Steve.  Thus, anyone named Steve will be your arch-enemy.
  • Super fast bicycle pedaling ability.
  • Karaoke master.
  • Ability to make others think you look hot even though you are very ugly.
  • Flying skills – you can fly, but you have to make, “put, put, put” noises like a poorly maintained engine is moving you, which makes it way less cool and impressive to the ladies.  Still, you can fly, but if you ever stop making the “put, put” sounds, you’ll fall.
  • Perfect comedic timing.
  • Accurate restaurant bill tip calculation skills.
  • Super fast speed with the exception that in New Jersey, your power is reversed and you are only able to move in slow motion.
  • Sonic masturbation.
  • Always the guy who brings the pizza to any party.  That’s it.  Show up to any party.  Pizza is mysteriously delivered.  Pizza delivery guy announces it’s from you, makes it look like you paid for it but you never have to pay for it.
  • Drink unlimited booze without getting drunk.  In theory, cool.  In reality, why?  It’s just like drinking a shit ton of old, expired soda.
  • Ability to travel great distances by being shot out of a cannon.
  • You’re the greatest painter in the world, but you can only paint pictures of Chester A. Arthur arm wrestling infamous 1960s bedazzled piano man, Liberace.  Still, your paintings of these two are superb and sell for millions.
  • Ability to separate all recyclable materials out of your trash by snapping your fingers.
  • Extreme foresight – ability to tell exactly how all your decisions will work out in the future.
  • Extreme hindsight – constantly reminded of how your bad decisions in the past got you to today’s intensely shitty present.
  • Eternal life, but you must play a kazoo while a Filipino hunchback named Raul beats you in the face with a smelly fish for five minutes, every hour on the hour, forever or else you’ll die.
  • Ability to stay in the lines when coloring in coloring books with crayons.
  • Unlimited money.
  • Unlimited sex (consensual, of course, you freak.)
  • Unlimited Arby’s coupons.
  • You can predict whenever any convenience store within a 50 mile radius is about to be robbed of all it’s slushee machine syrup by a man with athlete’s foot.
Tagged , , , ,
Advertisements