Daily Archives: December 14, 2018

SJW Lyrics – Oh Average Night (Formally Oh Holy Night)

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Oh average night, the stars are brightly shining!

And the night is just normal because it isn’t holy because we will no longer be subjected to the patriarchy’s puritanically rigid belief system that forces the ignorant into modifying their behavior in accordance with the whims of a fictional man in the sky who simply isn’t there.

Fall on your knees!

But only if you want to take a rest.

But if you don’t, that’s ok.

In fact, don’t because then you’ll get grass stains on your jeans!

A night that is not divine!

No, it’s just another night as usual except is it just me or is this night hotter than usual? Damn it, when will you all learn that global warming is real, people?!

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SJW Christmas Carols – Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

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Rudolph the red nosed reindeer,

Had the unfair advantage of a shiny nose.

None of the other reindeer,

Had a very shiny nose.

All of the other reindeer,

Were made to feel bad about themselves when they gazed upon Rudolph’s shiny honker.

Knowing that someone was doing better than they were, really drove them nuts and bonkers.

Then one foggy Christmas eve, Santa came to say,

Rudolph take your nose so bright,

And get it away from the reindeer’s sight.

Then how the reindeer were happy,

And they shouted out with glee,

“Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, we’ll never be as good as you, but now we’ve dragged you down to be as bad as we!”

 

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SJW Christmas Carols – Away in a Manger

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Away in a manger, no crib for a bed (because capitalism is the worst because the wealthiest 1 percent use the unwitting 99 percent as their pawns and socialism will totally work if we just give it one more try)…

The little Lord Jesus, laid down his, her, or possible xer’s head.  Whatever.  It’s way too early to box this child into a gender and Jesus will let us know what he, she, or xe is in time.

The stars in the sky, look down where he, she, or xe or any combination thereof because gender is fluid, lay.

The little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay, again, because when are we going to wake up and realize that capitalism is barbaric and only when government seizes control of all business interests will all children of indeterminate gender be allowed to sleep in the proper cribs they deserve.

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