Author Archives: bookshelfbattle

Daily Discussion with BQB – What’s Your Favorite Ride in Disney World?

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal BQB here.

I’ve picked up stakes this week and moved BQB HQ to Orlando, where I have established a temporary BQB HQ.  If you see a nerd walking around with an alien and a yeti…that’s probably some other guy.

In the mean time, what’s your favorite thing to do at Disney World, 3.5 readers?  Your favorite ride or your favorite other activity…what is it?

To be honest, as I get older, the whole place loses its appeal to me.  Maybe the older you get, the less you believe in magic, I don’t know.  I mean it’s all very pretty and it’s impressive and so on.  And the Yeti and Alien Jones dig it, of course.

I don’t know if this counts as an activity, but I think “The Earl of Sandwich” in Disney Springs makes the best sandwiches.  They make a good meatball and a good Thanksgiving sandwich and I always get the Thanksgiving.

Anyway, what say you, 3.5?

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Movie Review – The Outsider (2018)

Domo arigato, 3.5 Mr. Robotos.

BQB here with a review of the Netflix film, “The Outsider.”

3.5 readers, if it’s one thing that the Yakuza are known for it’s open-ness.  The Japanese mafia really like newcomers who change things up…not.

Jared Leto plays Nick Lowell, an AWOL US GI in 1954.  At the start of our tale, he’s in a Japanese prison.  He performs a favor for one Yakuza member and that favor is returned with a grant of his freedom.  Oddly, the Yakuza boss’ son welcomes Nick as an equal right away and after awhile, he manages to turn various Yakuza members from thinking he’s a dirty foreigner to deciding he’s just one of the guys.

Honestly, it would be a nice tale about tolerance, diversity, and acceptance if so many people weren’t being shot and murdered and so on.

Overall, a good film, very dark, could have used more info on Nick’s backstory and I feel like there should have been more karate but maybe that’s a stereotype on my part.  Do all Yakuza know karate?  Is it more offensive to the Yakuza to say they all know karate or that they all don’t know karate?  Which is it?  I don’t want to offend the Yakuza.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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Daily Discussion with BQB – Is Facebook a Publisher or a Utility?

Come with me on a hypothetical journey, 3.5 readers.

There are three people:  Alan, Barry and Carl.

Alan calls Barry on the phone and says, “Hey Barry, guess what?  Carl is a big time fart face pederast who likes to rub hot sauce all over his naked body before he goes out at night into the middle of the forest to have sex with goats and worship Satan!”

Barry knows that Carl is of fine character and would never engage in such activities. Sure, sometimes he’s stared at goats for too long but he’d never act on any urges he may or may not have.  Barry calls Carl and relays what Alan said.

Carl’s reaction?  He’s furious.  He hires a lawyer and sues the phone company.

The judge laughs.  Why?  Because the phone company is a utility.  They provide the phone service.  They don’t have an army of people monitoring everything that is said over the phone.  Thus, it would be silly to hold the phone company responsible.

But wait.  Suppose the phone company did get involved in your conversations.  Suppose on every call, there was an operator in the background, bleeping out bad words and comments.  “Carl likes to fuck goats” becomes “Carl likes to bleep goats.”  Then that could be Carl likes to pet goats, he likes to buy ice cream for goats, whatever.

Maybe the operator even interjects.  “Hey just an FYI I can’t verify the statement that Carl fucks goats.  In fact, we polled 100 people and 78 out of 100 said they’re fairly sure Carl is not a goat fucker.”

If the phone company gets involved in conversations and accidentally lets a “Carl is a goat fucker” through, then the phone company is legally liable, I would think.  Any legal experts out there want to get in on this and tell me if I’m right or wrong?

See, if the phone company isn’t involved in your conversations and just providing the means to make the conversation happen, then Carl can’t blame the phone company if he is called a goat fucker.  However, if the phone company starts getting involved and one day an operator falls asleep at the switch while Carl is being called a goat fucker then the phone company can be sued.  After all, the phone company began taking responsibility for the conversational content and they let a goat fucker allegation through unchecked.  The phone company has gone from utility provider to content provider or…publisher.

This is a dilemma now faced by Facebook.  Zuckerberg was questioned along these lines (obviously in a more dignified and intelligent manner without use of the words “Fuck” or “goat) before Congress – is Facebook a utility or a publisher?

If Facebook is providing the means to write posts and put up photos and video then they’re a utility.  Alan posts, “Carl fucks goats!” and if Facebook is just a utility then Facebook isn’t responsible.  Alan is the only party responsible.

But if Facebook is getting involved and banning content, taking content off, providing links to fact check sites to contradict the post, using algorithms to hide the post or put it lower in your feed etc, then an argument could be made they are liable if they take responsibility for content and a piece of defamatory content gets by them.

I realize there’s a gray area.  The phone company can’t make Barry un-hear or forget about the goat fucker comment.  Facebook can at least, if Carl complains, take down Alan’s goat fucker comment and even though Barry has now read the goat fucker comment, at least future sets of eyes won’t see it and question whether or not Carl is can be trusted to be left alone with goats.

So…I don’t know.  Facebook is definitely venturing into some rocky, unprecedented terrain.  By the way, I have no idea if anything I just said is accurate or even on point so…there you go.

Discuss.

 

 

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BQB’s Netflix Pick of the Week – Heat (1995)

Hey 3.5 readers.  Is there anything in your life that you couldn’t walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner?

Well, this means you’re probably a good person but would be a lousy bank robber.

Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro, the two best Italian-American actors of their day or perhaps any day, gave fans a thrill when they squared off in this crime drama.  Ironically, it’s roughly 3 hours and yet it moves fast, like you almost don’t feel the length of the film.

There’s an iconic scene where Al and Bobby D set aside their game of cat and mouse and meet in a diner where they learn there’s not much difference between them.  Both are bored with the idea of a hum drum life.  Both are thrill seekers.  Both have failed relationships because they can’t stop chasing something, the big collar for Al, the big score for Bob.

By the way, Val Kilmer is nuts in this flick.  Epic shootout in the end.

Anyway, I don’t know if I’ll do it every week but I am a prolific Netflix watcher so I’ll try to give you a streaming recommendation whenever I can so this movie is my first suggestion for you.

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Top Ten Quotes from “The Importance of Being Earnest” by Oscar Wilde

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#10 – “All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.”

#9 – “If I am occasionally a little over-dressed, I make up for it by being always immensely over-educated.”

#8 – “I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being good all the time. That would be hypocrisy.”

#7 – “Never speak disrespectfully of Society, Algernon. Only people who can’t get into it do that.”

#6 – “Oh! I don’t think I would like to catch a sensible man. I shouldn’t know what to talk to him about.”

#5 – “I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever.”

#4 – “My dear fellow, the truth isn’t quite the sort of thing one tells to a nice, sweet, refined girl. What extraordinary ideas you have about the way to behave to a woman!”

#3 – “You have filled my tea with lumps of sugar, and though I asked most distinctly for bread and butter, you have given me cake. I am known for the gentleness of my disposition, and the extraordinary sweetness of my nature, but I warn you, Miss Cardew, you may go too far.”

#2 – “I hope, Cecily, I shall not offend you if I state quite frankly and openly that you seem to me to be in every way the visible personification of absolute perfection.”

#1 – “To be born, or at any rate bred, in a hand-bag, whether it had handles or not, seems to me to display a contempt for the ordinary decencies of family life that reminds one of the worst excesses of the French Revolution.”

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Awkwafina’s “My Vag”

Hey 3.5 readers.

Are you down?  Do you need a laugh?  Please drop what you are doing and watch this girl rap about how much better her vag is than yours.

It’s pretty catchy.  “My vag won best vag, your vag won best supporting vag…”

This is probably one of those things that the kids knew about for years and I’m just learning about it right?

“My vag is Godfather 1 and your vag is Godfather 3.” Ouch.

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BQB’s Twilight Zone Reviews – S3, Ep. 26 – “Little Girl Lost”

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Do you think there might be a gateway to another dimension in your house, 3.5 readers?

Little Tina is lost.  Her parents, Ruth and Chris (hey, together they can make a steakhouse!)…um, played by Robert Sampson and Sarah Marshall, can hear her but cannot see her.  After checking all over the house, they can hear her coming from inside the wall, but can’t figure the mystery out.

Luckily, the couple is friends with a physicist, because why wouldn’t they be?  Bill (Charles Aidman) ominously marks the entry to another world in chalk in the couple’s wall.  How the door to the other dimension got there he doesn’t know which means I basically know as much as a fictional TV physicist.

Blah, blah, basically all the humans fail and it’s up to the family dog to bravely run into the dimensional gateway and lead the girl to safety.  They’ll probably still cut his nuts off anyway.

I give Rod Serling credit for this one as interdimensional travel was probably heady stuff for the average 1960s TV viewer but its done well here.

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BQB’s Twilight Zone Reviews – S3, Ep. 25 – “The Fugitive”

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I did not like this episode at all.  It was stupid, weird, dumb…especially to the eyes of a person in 2018 but honestly, even though values were different back then, I’m not sure how this episode didn’t leave a few 1960s people scratching their heads either.

OK.  So here goes.  And SPOILER ALERT because I can’t complain about it unless I lay it all out there.

J. Pat O’Malley plays Ben, an elderly man who spends a suspiciously large amount of time playing with the neighborhood children.  That’s weird but OK, initially it’s like…fine, it was the 1960s and adults were more “adultier.”  Maybe adults were more trustworthy or maybe child abuse claims were swept under the rug more back in those days I don’t know, but it was a common staple of old black and white television shows to see old people just hanging out and having fun with little kids that just lived near them that they were not related to whatsoever and the impression wasn’t that these adults were pervs or anything but rather were just nice old people who were nice to kids.

SIDENOTE:  Please don’t let your kids hang out with random neighborhood adults.  Honestly, don’t trust people you know or are related to either.  You know what?  Just keep your kid next to you at all times.

Back to the review.  Ben has a special power -he can turn into any living thing.  He plays a space game with the kids where the kids pretend to be space travelers and he turns himself into a scary martian.

The old man’s best friend is eight year old Jenny and surely this sentence is creepy even by 1960s standards.  Oddly enough, Jenny’s aunt/guardian, played by Nancy Kulp of Miss Hathaway from “The Beverly Hillbillies” fame is portrayed as the villain, yelling at the little girl to stay away from the old man and yelling at the old man to stay away from the girl.  She’s portrayed as an evil battle-axe trying to keep two friends apart but you know, 2018 me is like, “The aunt is the voice of reason!  If that kid was my niece I’d tell that old bastard to stay away from the kid too!”

Moving on, there are a couple of mysterious dudes chasing after Ben.  He ditches them by turning into a mouse (which makes me think Michael Jackson might have been inspired here with his song about Ben the rat).

Blah, blah, blah – the ending.  The dudes are Ben’s subjects. Ben is the king of a faraway planet.  He didn’t want to be the king anymore so he ran.  The subjects like him and want to bring him back.

Ben and Jenny pull the old switcheroo  – they both turn into Jenny and so, the subjects must take both Jennies to the planet if they want the King.  I couldn’t help but think that it will be hard for the aunt to lose her niece, but I guess the writers felt she had to be punished for the crime of thinking that her eight year old niece shouldn’t be spending all her free time with a sixty something year old man.  Go figure.

The twist?  Rod Serling, as he was known to do, pops out of the woodwork holding a picture of a little boy.  Turns out that Ben was a little boy all along and…I guess…what…we’re supposed to think it’s ok that Ben and Jenny run away together?  I mean, you really need to suspend disbelief because Jenny is eight whereas we were told earlier that Ben is over 1,000 years old so I mean, come on, even if he’s a boy he’s like an adult in a boy’s body, unless boys live for a thousand years on that planet before they become adults and ugh…I just went cross eyed.

It’s weird.  It’s creepy.  It’s insane.  I have no idea if the writers intended this, maybe they were just lazy and wrote themselves out of a corner but I mean, yeah, there’s just no circumstance in which it’s cool for this kid to be running away with aliens…especially one that’s over 1,000, who has taken the form of an old human man.

I don’t know.  There were a lot of episodes and they all can’t be winners I suppose. This one was a big time stinkburger.

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BQB’s Twilight Zone Reviews – S2, Ep. 8 – “The Lateness of the Hour”

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Is technology making us soft?

Spoiler alert = YES!

But we know that today because we live in a time where you can sit on the toilet and order up your dinner, groceries, call a cab, text a friend and watch a TV show on your phone…while you take a dump at the same time.

Ergo, 1960s folk were prophetic, for they had none of these advances and yet they could see that tech was going to turn us into weaklings, robots being the big concern here.

Dr. and Mrs. Loren (John Hoyt and Iren Tedrow) have cut themselves off from the world, holing themselves up in their home where robotic servants of the doctor’s own design cater to their every need.  The old folks need not do anything but sit in their study and relax while their mechanical servants do it all.

Their daughter, Jana (Inger Stevens) thinks this is a totally crap lifestyle.  She’s young and she wants to get out of the house, see the world, develop skills and learn how to take care of herself.  She wants her parents to do the same, join her in getting out there.

Well, depending on your age you can probably guess the underlying themes.  The young want to explore the world and seek out adventure.  The old have had the shit beaten out of them to the point where the world has lost its luster – i.e. it’s better to relax at home rather than get smacked around by the cold, cruel world.

And of course, there’s the question of whether tech will improve our lives or turn us into big softies.  Even further, will robots be our trustyworthy helpers or will they scheme against us and take over?

Further, sometimes young people need to make a decision.  Your parents are old.  They’ve been around the block.  They’ve been to the school of hard knocks.  They’ll give you the best advice they know – set your sights low and focus on just getting by because if you shoot for the stars, you might end up crashing into the weeds.

Whether you follow that advice is up to you.  You love your parents but at some point, you’ve got to leave the nest and decide what’s best for you.  You want to follow their lame yet safe advice?  Do it.  You want to throw caution to the wind and chase that crazy dream?  Do it…but actually do it.  Don’t wait around for their blessing.  You won’t get it.  Just rip off that Band-Aid, have that blow out fight, then go on your way and make that dream happen.

Sadly, Jana seems trapped in that middle area where she wants to get out and chase dreams but she wants her parents to tell her they approve and that obviously isn’t going to happen.

Anyway, what say you, 3.5 readers?  Will tech help us or ruin us?

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BQB’s Twilight Zone Reviews – S2, Ep. 17 -Twenty-Two

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Are dreams real?  Can they tell us anything about reality?  Can we ever be sure when we are dreaming and when we are awake, what’s real and what’s not?

Liz Powell (Barbara Nichols) is such a famous stripper, er…uh, dancer, that she even has an agent, Barney (Fredd Wayne.)  In fact, she’s been so overworked that she’s in the hospital for exhaustion.  Yeah, ok…just go with it.  If you can buy that premise, then you can buy the fact that she was allowed to relax in her hospital bed, not in a patient’s gown but in a dress that was, well for 1960s standards, kinda naughty.  Today, not so much but I’m sure in those days it turned an eye.

SIDENOTE: Nichols had that stereotypical Brooklyn floozy/blonde bimbo of the early 1900s voice.  Today, you might call it a “Harley Quinn” voice.  Nichols often played bar girls, dopey dames, gangster’s molls, and so on…so it makes me wonder if she might have had an influence on Harley’s style.

Anyway, every night, Liz goes to sleep only to wake up thirsty.  She reaches for a glass of water but then she gets up, heads to the lobby, goes down an elevator and walks to the morgue, where a mysterious looking nurse (the ever so exotic Arlene Martel) ominously states, “Room for one more, honey.”

There’s room for one more in the morgue?  That’s not news that anyone wants to hear.  Her doctor, who is never given a name but is played by Jonathan Harris of “Lost in Space” fame (“You clinkin’ calamity of bolts!”)  insists this is all in Liz’s mind and it’s just a bad dream.

I did wonder why the doctor didn’t have someone keep an eye on Liz to see if she actually was getting up to go to the morgue or if she was just dreaming it, but I suppose that would have ruined the story.

OK, that’s it.  I won’t go further because if I do I’ll ruin the twist.  But it’s an interesting question, where do dreams end and reality begin?  Do they intermingle?  Is the universe trying to send messages to us through our dreams?  Should we pay attention to what’s in our dreams at all.

Have you ever changed your life based on a dream, 3.5 readers?

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