Category Archives: Uncategorized

Madame Tussaud’s New York City Part Two

So many celebrities so little time.


Johnny Depp – usually needs to be Jack Sparrow, Willy Wonka, or the Mad Hatter to be recognizable.


I’ll be there for you…


Anne Hathaway – hot and smart, a double threat I could never please.

Morgan Freeman narrated as Anne rejected me.

“I don’t believe in all my years I had ever seen such an epic rejection.”


Mummy.


Hitler…oh no, wait, Charlie Chaplin.


John Wayne, pilgrims.


Yippy ki yay.


No Lucy you can’t-a play at the club.


Sit in Don Draper’s chair.


They had a virtual reality Ghostbusters game. VR is here, 3.5.


He slimed me.


Hee hee!


Don’t make me close one more door, I don’t want to hurt anymore.

RIP Whitney.


Crap I forgot to find out if this was Venus or Serena. I will guess Serena.


Float like a butterfly…


Jeter.


She needs a wax meat dress.


Puffy taught me everything I know about being a media mogul.


I wanted there to be a wax Toto.


Madame Tussaud herself.

You know, 3.5 readers, it’s never too late. Madame Tussaud lived in obscurity until age 41, when she started going on tour with her wax creations in 1802. She even survived a shipwreck while sailing with her figures to Ireland.

Chase that dream, 3.5.

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BQB Does Madame Tussaud’s New York City

Celebrities.

We love them. We worship them.

Alas, though we rarely, if ever, get to meet them, Madame Tussaud’s legendary wax figures give us the next best thing.

To my surprise, visitors are encouraged to to touch (I refrained from honking wax celebrity boobs) and to take pictures.

Madame Tussaud’s has definitely embraced the selfie generation as the masses love taking pics with their favorite wax celebs and posting them on social media.

Here are some of BQB’s faves:


“I’m wax Regis and I’m out of control!”


Kim Kardashian – the madam had to use a whole helluvalot of wax to craft that baronka donk.


Scarlett Johansson – I offered to buy this figure, not for perverted reasons, but because sometimes Video Game Rack Fighter goes away on business and I get ever so lonely.

OK so for perverted reasons.


Bleh!


I’m not sure who this man is but he was WAY more into the Scarlett Johansson figure than I was. 


Not gonna lie. Teenage me would have sprayed his shorts. Come to think of it, thirties me needs to change his undies.

Moving on…


Work, work, work, work, work. Sigh, Madam T wouldn’t sell me RiRi either.


 This is how we do dee doo.

I didn’t offer to buy her. I didn’t think I could handle it.


Jenna Marbles – this one warmed my usually otherwise cold heart, 3.5 readers.

No agents, auditions, or lucky breaks. Jenna hit it big with her YouTube videos.

To the best of my knowledge she’s the first Internet celebrity to be so honored.

Maybe Madam T will put a wax self-publisher on display one day?

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Fantasy Fights 2

Ok 3.5 readers.

Who would win a fantasy fight between:

Jean Claude Van Damme vs Jean Valjean

Cuba Gooding Jr vs the entire country of Cuba

Forrest Gump vs Forrest Whittaker

Forrest Gump and Forrest Whittaker as a team vs DeForrest Kelly, the original Bones McCoy on Star Trek

Same as above but they’re fighting in a forrest

A cowboy vs. a boy cow

Law and Order vs Law and Order: SVU

Santa Claus vs the Easter Bunny

Hal Holbrook vs HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey 

Donald Trump vs Donald Duck

Hillary Clinton vs Hillary from Fresh Prince of Bel Air

BQB in NYC – Cirque du Soleil: Paramour (Or, BQB Reviews a Broadway Play)

Wow 3.5 readers.

I knew if I kept plugging away at this blog I’d eventually hit the big time.

After reviewing a ton of movies for 3.5 readers I’m now reviewing a Broadway play for 3.5 readers.

Sadly, I couldn’t take a picture of the production but here is a terrible photo of some naked golden people who adorn the stage inside the Lyric Theater.

Art! I love it. I wish I looked this good naked.


FYI these naked peeps are way taller in person.

3.5 readers, if you’ve ever seen a Cirque du Soleil show, then you know it is an artistic circus combining stunts, acrobatics, and music. No elephants. 

However, there are sometimes some artistic high faluting clowns, though none in this show.

This Broadway version adds one more thing – a plot!

In the Golden age of Hollywood, a down on his luck director discovers an up and coming actress. He makes her a smash. She revives his career. 

They fall in love but the kindhearted songwriter she came to LA with isn’t going to give up that easily.

#lovetriangle

You’ve got people flying around and doing tricks and stunts and backflips and shit.

Totally awesome 3.5 readers. Highly recommend it.

Until next time, this is big time Broadway critic BQB signing off.

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BQB in NYC – Broadway

Chicago in New York City.

#mindboggled

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BQB in NYC – Times Square – M and Ms World

Sure, your ass will get eighty percent fatter but it’s worth it, 3.5.

Tons of M and Ms merchandise but really the best part is getting yourself of bulk pick your own M and Ms.

Mmm delicious. And if your ass isn’t fat enough, the Hershey store is right next door.

Let me ask you this, 3.5 – plain or peanut?

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BQB’s Vacation Photos

I have more I forgot to show you, 3.5 readers.

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#31WaysToDefeataVampire – Way #22 – Ken Bone

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

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Bleh!

Yes, 3.5 readers!

You thought that Ken Bone was just a flash in the pan Internet sensation, didn’t you?

But he’s much more than that!

He’s also an accomplished vampire hunter.

Why do you think he wears that red sweater?

To hide all the blood from all the vampires he’s hunted, of course.

Befriend Ken Bone and vampires will never bother you as all vampires are petrified of…Ken Bone, Vampire Hunter!

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How the West Was Zombed = #170 on Wattpad Horror

That’s pretty high, 3.5 readers.

Please, if you have a minute, comment, like, etc and help push it up the ranks to increase my readership as my 3.5 readers are lonely.

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Be My 30,000 visitor

I’m approximately 230 visits away from having 30,000 visitors to this fine blog in two going on three years.

At this rate I’ll get a million visits by the year 4757.

Be my 30,000th reader, 3.5 readers.