Yeah. I’ve got nothing today. Too busy planning out “The Summer of Bookshelf.”
But to comply with the one post a day challenge rules, here’s Iron Man on my shelf again:
Tony Stark you lazy bastard.
I hate to cast Jon Snow and Ned Stark aside, but I think I’ll just leave Iron Man as the blog header at least for this week.
Who’s ready for the Avengers 2?
Who’s excited for it?
What are your expectations?
What do you want to happen?
What do you want to NOT happen?
Iron Man takes a siesta on my bookshelf.
Happy Tuesday 3.5 readers!
BQB here, sharing the clip of the 2016 blockbuster – Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice
There’s been so much speculation that this movie will stink. Me? I always had a feeling that the people behind this flick knew they were taking a big bite with this one and assumed they wouldn’t be doing so if they didn’t think they’d be able to chew it.
In my opinion, the trailer looks great.
The apparent premise? Superman has God-like powers that make people afraid. Those in fear include Batman who, presuming the Man of Steel poses a threat to the world, decides to take the notorious tights wearer on.
We can only hope the film ends with them patching up their differences and singing a hearty round of kum-bai-yah. After all, they’re both good guys.
But if someone has to be the victor, my money’s on Batman.
Well, at least I’m rooting for the Dark Knight.
Good Old Superman – the superhero who started it all. People love to root for him and over the years, he’s become a symbol for “Truth, Justice, and the American way.”
He’s also hard to identify with. Handsome, flawless, chiseled – shoot him and he spits out the bullet with his teeth. Set him on fire and he doesn’t burn. Blow him up and he comes back for more. He can fly, run fast, lift enormous and heavy objects, turn back time, shoot lasers out of his eyes. He has every power.
Unless you chuck a rare piece of Kryptonite at him, he’s going to eat you for breakfast and therefore, while fun to cheer him on, it’s hard to look at Superman and say, “there’s a fella like me!”
Batman? Well, his powers are derived from money, intellect, and drive. Money is obviously the big factor as it affords him the ability to spend a vast repository of wealth on his vigilante persona.
So, yeah, you might argue it’s also hard to relate to Batman except for the fact that Batman, though he probably wouldn’t budge at the sight of Kryptonite, could otherwise die in a multitude of ways!
Superman has always proven to be a difficult character to portray on the big screen. Here you have a character with so much power and one would think the ultimate foil would be an equally powerful bad guy.
Yet, for some reason the 1970’s and 80’s movies pitted him up against Gene Hackman’s caricature of a criminal mastermind. Though fun to watch, Lex Luthor was historically, at least in the comic book world, a more intelligent, cold, and calculating foe. So many old Superman films and yet the hero to end all heroes rarely met a baddie his equal.
2013’s Man of Steel sought to remedy that with General Zod, a fellow citizen of Krypton who, like Superman, also becomes blessed with super powers when under Earth’s yellow sun. In fact, I’d argue the old film starring Terrence Stamp was the best of that series because it was the only one where Superman fought a challenger with similar powers.
Man of Steel, to this blogger, wasn’t the dud that other critics labeled it. However, I have to admit, when I saw Superman and Zod smashing their way through an IHOP, a 7-11 and other chain stores, my reaction was, “Wow, that is a lot of product placement.”
Since that was my only issue with Man of Steel, I assume I’ll have a fun time watching Batman and Superman, as long as Bruce doesn’t drive the batmobile through an Outback Steakhouse or something.
Were you skeptical of Ben Affleck as Batman? Admittedly, I was. Actually, I was on the fence. On the one hand, Affleck has given us Gigli. On the other hand, he also gave us Argo. He’s given us more pops than flops, so I assumed he wouldn’t have taken the role if he didn’t think he could deliver, and thus far this trailer proves me right.
Will DC finally catch up to Marvel’s box office prowess? We’ll have to wait until next year to find out.
What say you fellow nerds?
I don’t remember how old I was, but I want to say probably around ten, give or take a year.
I wish I knew where it was. Probably thrown away long ago.
The title? Attack of the Killer Mutant Fish
The plot? Fred the pet store owner’s day goes haywire when a mad scientist walks in and dumps toxic ooze into his fish tanks. I had recently visited a pet store, thus providing me with the inspiration. Also, I was a fan of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, though had I managed to get a book deal, Eastman and Laird (creators of TMNT) probably would have sued my ten-year old self.
Medium? Written in a notebook with a pencil in horrible penmanship.
(Cue Bob Saget Narrator from How I Met Your Mother Voice) – Kids, there was a time when not everyone had a computer, or if they did, it didn’t do much. People weren’t obsessed with snapping pictures of what they had for lunch and sharing it with the world, or writing angry tirades about the waitress who brought them cold food and then posting it on Facebook. When people wanted to write, they used these things called pencils to make marks on paper. You know paper right? Thin sheets made out of wood pulp? Never mind.
Review? – As Jon Lovitz’ The Critic would say, “It stinks!” There was a lot of action. The fish grow to an enormous size. They try to eat everyone. Fred shoots the mutant fish. It was pretty much devoid of any artistic merit.
Or was it? Yes, come to think of it, it was an avant grade piece way before its time. It was a grim indictment of man’s futile attempt to conquer nature. In fact, I wrote that in pencil as a subtitle, right on the first page of my notebook:
ATTACK OF THE KILLER MUTANT FISH
OR, A Grim Indictment of Man’s Futile Attempt to Conquer Nature
By: Young Bookshelf Q. Battler
I can’t say it had much in the way of character development. Fred was given no backstory whatsoever. No wife and kids that were depending on him to earn money as a pet store owner. He wasn’t a former soldier who botched up an anti-evil fish mission, forcing him to retire and languish away as a boring pet store owner until finally, fate offered him a chance to redeem himself.
And there was literally no explanation as to why a pet store owner had a gun that he was able to use to fend off the killer mutant fish. Was the pet store in a downtrodden, crime-ridden neighborhood? Was Fred an ex-member of the Yakuza, and thus he felt the need to pack heat at all times out of fear that he could be attacked by his enemies at any moment?
As for the Mad Scientist, the man didn’t even get a name. He just walks in, dumps toxic ooze into the tanks, then leaves. Kind of a jerk, really. But who was he? Was he a deranged Chemical Engineer, whose ideas were rejected one too many times by his scholarly peers, so he decided to take revenge and take over the world with an army of killer mutant fish? Perhaps he was Fred’s arch-nemesis? Maybe Fred and the Scientist once fought in battle during their Yakuza days and now were clashing again?
Personally, I just like to assume Fred stole the Mad Scientist’s woman.
Anyway, I wish I could find the notebook that contained this harrowing tale. But this blog post will serve as the treatment, so if any big time hotshot book agents and/or Hollywood bigwigs are reading, let me know if you are interested and also how much money you want to throw my way.
Sometimes I think all these “leaked” trailers are just a way for studios to beta test their films – get the audience’s reactions and make tweaks accordingly. I just have a hard time believing there’s such lax security around such a massive movie.
But oh well – it looks awesome. Ultron is no Pinocchio.
Comic Con is underway in San Diego. Wish I was there. Here’s a look at the Game of Thrones Blooper real shown at the GoT panel:
Today is Batman Day. No, seriously, it really is. July 23rd has been declared a day to honor the Dark Knight – everyone’s favorite one-percenter crime fighter.
What’s a holiday without a carol? Here’s a couple I whipped up:
Oh Batman Day!
Sung to the tune of Oh, Christmas Tree!
Oh Batman Day! Oh Batman Day!
You never let the Joker get away.
Punch the Penguin, in his stupid face,
Vicki Vale, you will embrace.
Oh Batman Day! Oh Batman Day!
How lovely art thine Batcave!
The Caped Crusader’s Coming to Town
Sung to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Oh, you better not cheat! You better not steal!
You better not kill or act like a heal!
The Caped Crusader’s coming to town!He sees you when you’re naughty
He knows when you’ve been bad
He’ll chase in the Batmobile
His car is really rad!Oh you better not rob, or make people cry!
You better be good
I’m tellin you why!
The Caped Crusader’s coming to town!
We would have also accepted:
Oh Little Town of Gotham
Silent Bat, Holy Bat
The Little Drummer Bat
Jingle Bells, Batman Smells…but that’s been done before. Can’t take credit for that one.
Robin the Yellow Caped Sidekick
Deck the Cave
Bookshelf Battle 