Tag Archives: movie reviews

Mar 26 2016
11 Comments
Movies

Movie Review: Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

Batman vs. Superman.

The winner?  My eyeballs.

BQB here with a review of Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice.

SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD.

Have you seen this yet, 3.5 readers?

I want to avoid spoiling too much but this movie has brought to my mind a number ideas about comic movies, Marvel vs. DC, the direction DC is taking, etc.  So I’ll probably come back in a week or two (once people have had a chance to see it) and get all spoilery.

For now, let me say this: I don’t think the critics and I saw the same movie.

The critics are up this movie’s butt.  It’s too long.  It’s got too much going on.  It’s too confusing.

I’ll agree there is a lot going on and at times it was confusing…but come on, a lot of movies are.  Half the time I go to movies and I’m like “I…uh…wait what just happened?  I don’t know.  Me shove popcorn into face now and enjoy pretty colors.”

The most efficient thing to do is to respond to the criticisms one by one:

THE PLOT ISN’T THAT HARD TO BELIEVE

We’re humans.  We’re suspicious bastards who screw things up early and often due to our paranoia.  It isn’t that far fetched to think that if someone like Superman showed up to save us, that we’d immediately suspect he was up to some shit and ruin everything by looking the ultimate gift horse in the mouth.

BEN AFFLECK AS BATMAN

He was a worthy Batman.  He’s an older, world weary, tired of the bullshit Batman in this one.  Affleck allowed himself to be shown with a little touch of gray.  That’s commitment for any pretty boy actor.

JESSE EISENBERG SUCKS

Jesse Eisenberg did not suck.  He played the part he was hired to play and he did it well. His character was just incredibly annoying, so much so that you wonder why Batman or Superman don’t just bitch slap him into next Tuesday and be done with it.

Sadly, Hollywood has never been able to provide us with a good Lex Luthor.  The comics do.  In the comics, he’s big, strong, menacing his power comes from his cunning and cruelty.

Here, they basically just had Eisenberg take a spritz of the Mark Zuckerberg role that made him famous and then kick it up a notch.  At times his voice is screechy and almost Joker-like, which is a bad idea, as this world already has a Joker.

IT IS TOO DARK

DC Comics are dark.  Because…Batman, damn it.  To paraphrase Ben Affleck from that other movie he was in (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back), Batman is one “morose motherf&*ker.”

Clearly, DC has seen the success that Marvel has had with The Avengers.  There is an obvious market for movies in which beloved superheroes work together.  Thus, DC is working its way toward making Justice League movies.

But this path has always been an uphill climb for DC.  DC has been making comic book movies for a lot longer.  The public knows their characters better.  Marvel, on the other hand, had the opportunity to introduce each individual member of the Avengers to the public with their own movies, building up to the Avengers movie.

But we don’t really need another Batman origin movie.  We get it.  He saw his parents get shot in front of him and became a vigilante.  (Hollywood finally gets that here…well, sort of…some suit still decided there needed to be a quick Wayne family massacre scene just in case there happened to be one jackass in the movie theater who didn’t understand why Batman became Batman.)

WONDER WOMAN WAS CROWBARRED IN

She really wasn’t.  I found her to be a good addition to the movie and am looking forward to her movie.

TOO MANY TEASERS FOR UPCOMING DC MOVIES

What should they do instead?  Make everyone wait until after the credits for a thirty second scene in which Nick Fury recruits someone new?

Although in keeping with my, “DC has the harder path than Marvel” argument…they’ve got a very big challenge in getting people to give a shit about Aqua Man.

“Hi we’re the Justice League.  We’ve got an all powerful god man, a Bat ninja, a warrior princess and oh yeah….this shit head who can control fish.”

Holy Shit you suck, Aqua Man.  If Jason Mamoa can make Aqua Man watchable he deserves an Oscar.

BATMAN AS PART OF A TEAM

He’s a loner, that’s for sure.  And he’s always been out of place in the Justice League world.

We love Batman because out of all the superheroes, he is the most plausible.  True, a mega rich buff dude who fights a crazy clown isn’t very realistic…but if you let your mind wander…it is easier to pretend to be Batman, whereas it is not as easy to pretend to be Superman, because being Superman is just totally impossible.  If you’re not from Krypton, then you should just stop pretending to be Superman.  You’ll never be Superman.

You’ll never be Batman either…but at least there’s a .00000001% chance that you could become Batman.

The Justice League fights aliens and monsters and other supernatural stuff.  Batman’s forte as a  “realistic” hero is fighting gangsters, mobsters, and psychopaths.  That’s why we loved Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies, right?  Nolan did his best to provide a Batman that was plausible (again, as plausible as a story about a Bat vigilante can get.

But the comics have always addressed that by having Batman being suspicious of his super powered friends.  He works with them, but he usually makes back up plans in case they get out of line.

You have to compartmentalize.  There’s on his own Batman who uses his training, skills, and money to fight crime…and then there’s Justice League Batman who helps other heroes fight aliens and shit.

BATMAN SHOOTS GUNS

Yes.  That was unfortunate.  Batman isn’t a shooter.  Although it has always been acceptable for him to blow the shit out of people with rockets and guns attached to the Batmobile, Batman has never packed a piece.  Technically he doesn’t in this one either….but well, then at one point he does but…ahh just watch the movie.

THE PLOT TURNS TOO MUCH ON UH…TWO PEOPLE KNOWING THE SAME NAME

Shut up, stupid critics.  That part was touching as shit.

FINAL THOUGHTS

It wasn’t perfect.  But I did enjoy it.  And I think it is the start of a promising line of Justice League movies.  I can’t wait for Suicide Squad.

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Mar 24 2016
9 Comments
Movies

Batman vs. Superman!

Hey 3.5 readers.

It’s here.  It’s finally here.  The fight we’ve all been waiting for.  The Dark Knight vs. The Man of Steel.

Who will win?  No really, who do you think will win?

(As you can see, there is a “bookshelf battle” in the header of this fine blog in honor of this film.  Batman can take a punch like a champ.)

You have to root for Batman, right?  He’s the undercard in this bout.  Superman is an immortal quasi-God figure whereas Batman is a guy with good training and a lot of money. (An endless supply of money being the closest thing to a super power in reality).

I can’t wait to see it this weekend.  It will mark the beginning of DC’s attempt to recreate Marvel’s success with its Avengers movies.

Here’s a thought.  This is a big, summer blockbuster style movie and here it is, out so early…in March.

What does that mean for the future of movies?

Here’s what I think as a movie nerd.  Movie theaters are facing increasing competition from the Internet.  With the economy being down and ticket/popcorn prices high, a lot of people just decide to stay home and watch Netflix.

I can see that movie theaters are constantly coming up with new ways to get butts in seats. 3-D is one.  I’m seeing more theaters build stadium seating and put in extra comfy reclining chairs.  Beer and alcohol (watch Batman drunk!) and so on.

These big movies coming out earlier and earlier is just another way for movie theaters to stay competitive.  After all, if you love Batman and Superman, you’ll make the trip to see them on the big screen, right?

So this seems like a good thing.  Big movies earlier in the year because there just isn’t enough time to fit them all in during the summer.

Have you ever gone to the movies in January and wondered, “Holy Shit.  January movies are godawful.  This must be the time of year they release all the films that got the green light because someone had incriminating photos of a movie producer in a compromising position.”

I always wonder that.  Further, I always wonder, why can’t every movie be awesome?  Of course, I realize awesome is in the eye of the beholder.  What I find awesome and another finds awesome are two different things.  There’s enough room in the entertainment world for everyone.

Long story short, I think it will mean that eventually…bad ass movies will be shown in January.

Batman or Superman – who do you pick? Leave your pick in the comments.

SPOILERS – Batman is Bruce Wayne and he became a vigilante to cope with seeing his parents gunned down outside a theater as a child.  Also, Superman is really Clark Kent of the Metropolis Daily Planet.  His space pod crashed on a farm when he was a kid and a nice farm couple took him in and raised him.

That was a joke.

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Mar 21 2016
6 Comments
Movies

Movie Review – 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

A woman is either John Goodman’s guest or hostage.

That’s pretty much it.

End of review.

Crap.  That’s only 16 words?

Let’s talk some more then.  BQB here with a review of 10 Cloverfield Lane.

SPOILER WARNING!

So here’s the deal, 3.5 readers.

Our tale begins with Michelle (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) getting into a car accident.  When she wakes up, she’s locked away in an underground bunker.

Her host or captor as the case may be is Howard (John Goodman.)  He informs her that while she was knocked out, a  major attack occurred up above.  It might have been nuclear or chemical, he isn’t sure, but he’s sure that the world above ground is no longer habitable and she needs to stay in the bunker with him.  She’s informed that if she tries to leave the bunker, she’ll let in poison gas that will kill everyone.

OK.  Show of hands, ladies.  How many men have tried the old “the world above ground is uninhabitable due to a chemical weapons attack and you have to stay in this bunker with me until it is safe” trick?  Happens to you like every Saturday night, right?

Yup.  I understand.  It isn’t easy being a woman.

Ah, but here’s the rub.  Howard might be telling the truth.

Thus, the major question of the movie unfolds.  Is Howard a psychotic wack job who built a bunker to hold people captive in, or is he an eccentric conspiracy theorist/doomsday prepper whose crazy desire to build a fallout shelter of his very own paid off when an attack actually happened?

In other words, is he Michelle’s captor or savior?

To add to the confusion, there’s another inhabitant.  Emmett (John Gallagher) is about Michelle’s age.  He’s convinced Howard’s right and there was an attack, but he’s also dumb and gullible so that doesn’t help much when it comes to answering the question.

On top of all that, there are other strange doings afoot, but I don’t want to ruin it for you anymore than I already have.

I loved this movie and I highly recommend it.  It is definitely something for aspiring writers to check out.  It has a Hitchcockian ability to keep the audience on the edge of their seats and J.J. Abrams produced it so you know it’s good.

The writers of this film toss out breadcrumbs and red herrings throughout.  As the movie unfolds clues to support the “this is just a trick to hold people hostage” theory as well as “he’s right and there really was an attack” theory are presented, leaving the viewer to wonder what the hell is going on until the very end.

It’s definitely a “less is more” film.  Most of it takes place inside the bunker itself.

Go see it.  John Goodman’s best work.  Our favorite big guy is getting up there in age, so if the Academy wanted to toss him an award for this, it is a worthy performance.

But they probably won’t because he’s fat and you know…#OscarsSoPretty.

NOTE:  This is not a sequel to the 2008 film Cloverfield.  Remember that movie?  It was one of those “people run away from a monster while taping shaky amateur footage because the Blair Witch Project did it successfully in the late 1990s so everyone else wanted to see if they could recreate it” movies.

I thought it was a sequel myself when the trailer came out.  Mary Elizabeth looks a little bit like one of the actresses in that film (Lizzy Caplan) so maybe that’s why.

And I foresee this could be Mary Elizabeth’s breakout film.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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Mar 19 2016
8 Comments
Movies

Movie Review – Pee Wee’s Big Holiday (2016)

Home on a Friday night watching a Netflix movie about a man-child.

Oh life, where did you go wrong?

BQB here with a review of Pee Wee’s Big Holiday.

Oh Pee Wee.  You could have been a contender.

Come to think of it, you were.  Like every Generation X kid, I too talked in your silly voice and did my take on your “Ha ha!” and “Argh!” and so on.

But then you just had to go and do…well what you did at that adult theater in 1991.

To this day, I’ve never really understood it.  Sure, perverts have it a lot better today, what with a vast cornucopia of pornography available thanks to the Internet (so I’ve heard) but even in the 1990s, people had VCRs to watch risqué movies on (again, so I’ve heard.)

Pee Wee.  Oh Pee Wee.  You weren’t like Mr. Rogers, trying to lecture us on morality or Sesame Street, trying to teach us shit.  You just invited us along to be silly and have a good time and you had to go and get yourself in trouble.

Eh.  Did it matter?  Two movies and a TV show, I’m not sure how much more Pee Wee the public could have tolerated.

Either way, he’s been in more movies (as Paul Reubens) and we’ve forgiven him.  (But Jesus Christ, even in the 1990s they had Playboys and Penthouses and Hustlers you could check out in the privacy of your own home so what the hell was he thinking? (Again, so I’ve heard.)

Pee Wee is back (because thanks to Netflix, everyone who had a hit twenty years ago is coming back for one last hurrah).

Did you know that Pee Wee is 63 years old?  I always thought he was younger for some reason.  Holy Shit.  He aged well.

The Plot – Pee Wee lives in Fairville and he is afraid to leave.  But then he meets Joe Manganiello (the actor from True Blood and Magic Mike, though if you’ve never heard of him, it is ok because Pee Wee hadn’t heard of him either.)

Yes, Joe plays himself.  Meta.

They learn they have a lot in common and become fast friends.  But Joe is worried that Pee Wee has lived such a sheltered life so he challenges our favorite man boy to trek across country to his birthday party in New York City.

That’s about it.  It’s a romp from there on, a series of skits as he gets in various predicaments along the way.  Bank robbing babes, snakes, Farmer’s daughters, and balloon loving Amish folk slow him down.

I have to admit I didn’t laugh as much as I thought I would.  I’m concerned this means maybe Pee Wee was never funny.  Maybe I just thought he was when I was a kid.

But then I recall Pee Wee’s Big Adventure and classic lines like, “There’s no basement at the Alamo” and how he called that spoiled Francis guy “France-ass” and the bikers and I laugh and laugh.  (“Paging Mr. Herman.  Mr. Herman.  You have a telephone call at the front desk.)

Eh.  Maybe there’s just few people around who understand/appreciate 1980’s humor enough to make a movie that lives up to the legend.

Anyway, it was cute but not as good as the original or Big Top Pee Wee, the sequel.

MAIN COMPLAINT:  Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t believe he said “I know you are but what am I” to anyone in the entire film.  That’s his patented catch phrase.  Even those hacks at Fuller House knew they had to jam “Cut it out” and “How rude” and “Have mercy” into the first ten minutes.

Isn’t that the whole point of these TV shows/movies?  Long in the tooth actors grabbing one last pay day by placating adults who loved those actors when they were kids before the next generation of adults comes along and doesn’t give a shit?

“Look BQB.  That TV show/movie you liked as a child is still relevant…time isn’t passing you by…say the catchphrase!!!”

SIDENOTE: Pee Wee’s 63 but all his chicks in this movie are way younger.  Maybe because he’s just an ageless perpetually young guy…or maybe Hollywood couldn’t let him get with a 63 year old perpetually ageless female?

I don’t know.  Maybe I’m too much of a conspiracy theorist.  And to be fair, he does go on a flying car ride with a Katherine Hepburn type.

Not really shelf-worthy but if you haven’t seen them, I hope this inspires you to see his first two movies.

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Feb 29 2016
3 Comments
Movies

Movie Review – Eddie the Eagle (2016)

Sniff sniff.

Oh God.  They finally made a movie about my life.

I mean, I’m not British and I wouldn’t set foot near a ski jump if you paid me but still…I am a nerd who knows the harsh oppression that nerds face when they seek to make their dreams come true.

SPOILERS!

BQB here with a review of Eddie the Eagle.

Michael “Eddie” Edwards had one dream growing up – to become an Olympian.

That’s a lofty goal for anyone but especially for him.  He was in a leg brace for most of his early childhood and even had to stay at a hospital for a year.

As a youngster, he tries his hand at every sport only to fail miserably and end up with a box full of broken glasses.

Miraculously, he does make it onto the British downhill ski team only to be cut.  Eddie is poor, unsophisticated and ultimately, the British Olympic Committee just doesn’t like him.

Speaking of poverty, he’s at odds with his Dad who wants him to quit skiing and get a job, preferably as a plasterer, as that’s what his father does for a living.

Eddie is about to pack it all in until he concocts an idea to become a ski jumper.  Britain hasn’t had one since the 1920’s so all he has to do is land a good jump to qualify.

Easier said than done.  After running off to a ski training facility in Germany, Eddie befriends former American ski jumper Bronson Peary.  Perry is a down and out drunk, torn between a desire to find greatness again by becoming Eddie’s coach and not wanting to see Eddie die.

For, Bronson explains, even the most skilled and qualified jumpers wipe out and end up gruesomely mangled all the time.

In case you’re not convinced, you’ll see Eddie get knocked all over the slopes all throughout the film.  It almost makes you wonder who thought ski jumping would be a good sport to begin with.

I don’t want to give too much more away.  Like Rocky, Eddie competes.  He tries.  He gets in the game and his victory doesn’t come from gold (he comes nowhere close) but that he did so much better than expected, especially when no one expected anything from him.

If you’re not a ski jumper, that’s ok.  This movie can be applied to any dream.  On this blog, we talk about our writing aspirations, hopes, and dreams.

I can tell you I can relate to Eddie.  Maybe not with the hurling myself into the air, but I know what it’s like to be told by family and friends to quit writing, to be told by experts it can’t be done, to wonder myself what other productive things I could be doing instead of gluing myself to my keyboard.

But we do what we do because we can’t stop ourselves.

Taron Egerton is a great Eddie just as Hugh Jackman is an excellent Bronson.

It is too bad this movie came out so early in the year.  I see Oscar potential.  I know it made me shed a tear or too.

Then again, the Oscars are So Pretty, and they probably wouldn’t want to promote a movie that gives nerds a crazy idea like they can be somebody.

STATUS: Shelf worthy.

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Feb 16 2016
4 Comments
Movies

Snakes on a Plane (2006)

Oh my God.  It’s so horrible. It’s on TV right now.  I meant to watch it for a minute and ended up sucked in for the whole thing.  I saw it when it came out but forgot how terrible it is.

Kinda makes me feel bad that it is a 10 year old movie now.  Seems like it just came out.

God.  It has all the feel of a cheesy old fashioned horror movie with people dying gratuitously and hilariously.

Samuel L. Jackson is the hero and he probably just showed up and cashed the check and was like screw it I can yell at these f%&king snakes for awhile.

There’s a nerdy snake scientist who scoffs at everyone else’s lack of snake knowledge.

And they have to take pictures of the snakes and send them to the scientist so he can identify them and tell them what to do but they work extra hard to explain how one woman has a camera in her cell phone because not everyone had that 10 years ago.

Juliana Margulies is in it.  I do miss her.  Well, I guess she’s on the Good Wife TV show now but I don’t watch that.  She used to be in movies all the time.

That guy who plays the sports dude on Anchorman (Ron Burgundy movies) plays the pilot.

Kenan Thompson has a big role on it.  Yes, the goofy guy from Saturday Night Live.

So many CGI snakes.  There’s a Snakes on a Plane music video during the ending credits.  It’s a song about Snakes on a Plane.

Oh God it is so awful that it is good but it just goes to show that the idea in your head that seems so stupid might just be a winner.

Because honestly, if snakes were on a plane, I assume everyone would act as stupidly and horribly as everyone does in this movie.

Say it with me!  “I’m tired of these mother%$king snakes on this mother%$king plane!”

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Feb 13 2016
3 Comments
Movies

Movie Review – Deadpool – (2016)

Swears, gratuitous violence and naked chicks in a superhero movie!

Whodathunkit?!

BQB here with a review of DEADPOOL!

SPOILERS!

Oh my God.  This movie was like a space shuttle launch.  So much had to happen before it could finally happen.

  1. Fans had to convince Hollywood that super hero movies are profitable by showing up en masse.
  2. A new generation had to grow up, become adults, and be cool with a super hero on screen who does and says horrible, horrible things.
  3. Hollywood had to be convinced that there was an adult audience for a raunchy R rated super hero movie, because films about heroes in spandex fighting evil are traditionally geared toward kids.
  4. And to top it all off, this movie was first teased in 2009 when Ryan Reynolds was in that horrible, godawful Wolverine movie!!!  (Remember the one with Will. I. Am?  God that was awful.)

And it’s here!  It’s finally here!  And it’s got sex, violence, ridiculous amounts of swearing.  Filthy jokes galore.  You get to see Morena Baccarin’s boobs for like a second (actually they might be stunt boobs – I can’t confirm.)

Come to think of it, that’s what surprised me the most.  A Marvel movie with boobs.  And not just Morena’s or her stunt boob double.  More naked chicks.  More boobs.  And a cooter.  That’s a scientific term.  A cooter in a Marvel movie.  Who knew it was possible?

The 50 cent tour if you’re not up to speed on Deadpool.  Wade Wilson (aka Ryan Reynolds) a mercenary with a sense of humor, is diagnosed with cancer.  His girlfriend, played by Morena, who is his match in the humor department (I hate to be cynical but only in the movies, either that or I’ve never met a woman with that kind of humor but I’m not sure she exists.)

So he volunteers for an experimental procedure and yadda yadda yadda…it does not work out as planned.  A villain gets involved, X-Men Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead pitch in, shit goes down.  It’s pretty epic.

I won’t spoil it anymore but on top of the firsts mentioned above (first R rated super hero movie, first Marvel movie with a cooter) it is, I think unless someone can correct me, the first movie of its kind to be crushing the box office on a Valentine’s Day Weekend.

What the shit.  There weren’t any women who would have wanted to go see a movie like Deadpool with me on Valentine’s Day weekend back when I was a Funky Hunk, I’ll tell you that.  And it wasn’t me.  Well, it was but it was mostly because chicks just weren’t into those kinds of movies.  Women have seriously mellowed out that some studio exec was convinced this would be a good Valentine’s weekend date movie and be correct.

Funny.  Lots of action.  Lots of heart.  My one complaint is the best jokes were spoiled by the trailers but it’s still great.

Ryan Reynolds really shines in this.  And as you know from my #OscarsSoPretty rants, you know I’m very biased against good looking people.  Don’t get me started or I’ll rant all day about pretty person privilege, how the attractive have life handed to them on a silver platter, etc. etc.

RR shows he’s more than a handsome face.  He’s got the charisma and sense of humor of a genuine ugly dude who needs to work for it and that’s a compliment straight from good ole BQB.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.  Come for the jokes.  Stay for the cooter.  Oh and stay for the credits.  There’s another Deadpool movie on the way, though Deadpool told me not to tell you.

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Feb 09 2016
6 Comments
Movies

Movie Review – Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a nerd possessed of 3.5 readers must be in want of more readers.”

Pride.  Prejudice. Zombies.  Jane Austen’s classic literary masterpiece…and the evil undead.

BQB here with a view of PPZ.

Grr.  Argh.  Brains.  Spoilers.

 

AN ADMISSION:  I’ve never read Pride and Prejudice.  I know.  That’s a terrible thing for a magic bookshelf caretaker to say.  But it’s true.  I don’t know why.  My English teacher made us read Wuthering Heights and maybe he thought that was enough depressed British people in love for one year.

So had I read it I probably would have gotten more of the jokes, but overall I really liked this movie.

Come to think of it, PPZ now counts as my first exposure to Pride and Prejudice and that’s probably going to be true for a lot of people.  I know want to go back and read the original book.  Hopefully, others feel the same way.  So Seth Grahame-Smith did a good thing here.

I’ve always enjoyed Grahame-Smith’s work.  He wrote Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter in case you forgot.  He really opened up the door to reimagine and reinvent history.

Some people are very literal.  Put zombies in 1800’s England and some people might say, “there were no zombies in 1800’s England so this movie is historically inaccurate!”

True, but there are no zombies now!!! (That we know of.)  So that means we can’t enjoy The Walking Dead.  And we have no official confirmation of life on other planets. So crap, we should stop watching Star Wars, right?

Suspend disbelief and just enjoy it.

Several hilarious parts in this movie.  I enjoyed the dainty debutantes discussing their Shaolin training, hiding knives in their garters and kicking zombie ass.  Lena Headey made me keel over laughing as Lady Catherine de Bourgh (exceptionally wealthy British aristocrat/eye-patch sporting zombie killer extraordinaire.)

As my 3.5 readers might be aware, I’ve half-written a lot of stories built around one joke, attempting to extrapolate that joke into an entire novel.

Grahame-Smith does this.  There’s the love.  The passion.  The old English speak.  Oh, and there’s also zombies.  There’s zombies in the middle of one of the greatest romantic tales ever written and our heroes must defeat them, while learning to love each other as well.

Perhaps the genius of it is that in theory, the subject matter is nothing to be laughed at.  But the actors play it all with such dead pan that there’s all this love and drama and intrigue and everyone’s very proper and British and…oh…there’s zombies!

SPOILER ALERT – I saw this movie with someone and we were a little confused by the ending.  Love triumphs but…the zombie menace seems to be brushed off?  Maybe we missed something.

This is one of those movies I’d have to watch again because there was definitely a lot of stuff I’d probably notice in a second sitting.  And though I speak English, that old English does need to be deciphered.

I suppose it is a good thing this is being billed as a Valentine’s Day movie.  I’m not sure women would have considered this a good date movie in the past.  That it is thought of that way now means women as a whole are becoming much nerdier.

So there you go male nerds.  You have more options.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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Jan 31 2016
3 Comments
Movies

Movie Review – Straight Outta Compton (2015)

You are about to witness the strength of SPOILER knowledge.

Straight outta East Randomtown, crazy blogger named BQB.

I write all the time but only 3.5 people ever read me.

BQB here with a review of the NWA biopic Straight Outta Compton.

Oh, just an FYI – this trailer has butts in it.  In fact, this movie has a lot of butts in it because these guys partied hard.  So don’t watch the trailer or the movie it if you don’t like or are offended by butts.

Rap.  It’s been around since the 1970’s.  But there was a time when the most controversial lyrics came from the Sugar Hill Gang complaining about having to pretend the food at your friend’s house is good even though it makes you want to reach for a bottle of Kaopectate.

That all changed in the mid 1980s when a group of friends got together to form NWA.  If you’re not in the know, I’ll let you figure out what the N stands for on your own.

Our tale begins in 1986 with Dr. Dre getting lectured by his mother that he has to quit being a DJ and get a job to support his son.  Meanwhile, O’Shea Jackson aka Ice Cube scribbles lyrics in a notebook on the school bus.  Eric Wright aka Easy E starts out as a heavy duty gangster, participating in serious drug deals.

I’ll let you watch rather than spill the details, but long story short, these three (not to be rude but other than Dre, Easy E, Ice Cube and MC Ren I have a tendency to forget the names of the other NWA members) end up with some studio time.  They encourage Easy E, who has never rapped before, to give his rendition of Ice Cube’s Boyz In Da Hood and the rest is history.

But their road to stardom is rocky.  There’s the logistical problem.  They’re openly swearing and talking about sex, drugs, and violence and that wasn’t exactly a surefire way to get what every aspiring musician needs – radio airplay.

Then there’s the political problems.  They have a song called F$%k the Police which as you can imagine, doesn’t make the police very happy.  On top of that, people aren’t happy about the idea of young people listening to music about sex, drugs, violence etc.

But somehow against all the odds they hit the big time.  They find an unlikely ally in Jerry Heller, a music business manager who represented a lot of acts in the 1960s but didn’t inspire much confidence in the 1990s.  The boys call him Mr. Furley (the bumbling old landlord from Three’s Company).

I won’t give too much away but suffice to say, disputes over money break the buddies apart.  Dr. Dre and Ice Cube go out on their own.  Fighting ensues, sometimes hilariously in the form of “diss songs” filled with lyrics in which NWA and Ice Cube trash each other, at other times tragically as violence ensues.

One criticism levied at the film by movie reviewers has been that the film might paint NWA in too good a light, that maybe they left some disturbing things on the cutting room floor, Dr. Dre’s physical attack on a female reporter, for example.

Then again, the film is pretty open about a lot of negative things, some of the most memorable:

  •  Easy E is shown taking part in a drug deal turned violent.
  • Dr. Dre, who left NWA to work with Suge Knight, goes out on his own again when he witnesses Suge using an attack dog to scare a man into hiding under a table in his underwear.
  • Ice Cube takes a baseball bat to the office of a record executive who he feels has not given him his due.
  • A dude comes to the boys’ hotel room looking for trouble.  Easy E pulls a gun on him.  The gun is so elaborate with a scope and various attachments that it looks like it belongs on a battlefield instead of in the hands of a rapper.

Could troubling aspects of their past been left out?  Maybe, but perhaps that was only because they only had two hours to fit in all the disturbing stuff they did put in.

It’s well produced, acted, directed, a good story worth a rental.

Are they heroes who promoted free speech or outlaws who cashed in on dirty lyrics, opening up the floodgates for artists to focus less on the art and more on being controversial?

You be the judge.  I have mixed feelings.  I don’t really want to “F$%k the Police.”  But I also enjoy a good beat.

All I know is I’m getting old.  Doesn’t seem like it was long ago that these guys and their proteges were on the radio all the time.  Actors playing Snoop Dogg and Tupac stop by.

Millennials, you’ll know when you’re old when the Justin Bieber Story comes out.

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Jan 18 2016
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Movies

Movie Review – Daddy’s Home (2015)

Being divorced sucks.

Do I really need to call a spoiler alert for that? Probably not.  But I will for this review.

BQB here with a review of the Will Ferrell/Mark Wahlberg comedy, Daddy’s Home.

Do you remember when Ferrell and Wahlberg crushed it in The Other Guys? That was a comedy about the cops who never get the hot cases with lots of action.  They were the other guys, the guys who get stuck with lame, boring cases, who find themselves in the midst of an action laden case.

I remember laughing my ass off in that one.  This one? While it has a few knee slappers, I have to say, not so much.

I’d never tell someone to stay in a marriage that’s making them miserable.  On the other hand, I worry people don’t have the stick-to-it-tiveness that past generations had when it comes to nuptials.

“To love, honor, cherish, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.” People seem to take those more as general guidelines than hard and fast rules. People get divorced over silly things now. He left the toilet seat up. She uses all the hot water so I can’t take a shower.  He doesn’t give me butterflies in my stomach anymore. She got a little chubby and there’s a girl at work who’s way hotter.

I dunno.  That’s just my complaint. Especially when kids are involved. Like I said, I wouldn’t tell someone to stay in a terrible relationship but on the other hand, don’t pass up someone who’d be good for you just because she’s not perfect because you’re waiting for Angelina Jolie to show up (or Brad Pitt as the case may be.)

I digress. The setup?  Linda Cardellini (Sarah) divorced her first husband, Dusty (Wahlberg), for a good reason – he just wanted to keep living a wild and crazy lifestyle instead of being there for his kids.

Enter Brad (Ferrell). Sarah and Brad get married and while Brad absolutely loves being a stepdad and all that comes with it (volunteering for field trips, helping out with school activities etc.) the kids won’t give him a chance because they miss their biological father, Dusty.

So bottomline. Dusty returns after being away. He wants his wife and kids back. Brad wants to keep them.  The kids won’t connect with Brad but he is like a perfect male homemaker, which makes Sarah happy.  Dusty, with his motorcycle and manliness and fun guy attitude is a hit with the kids, but no so much for Sarah, who doesn’t like being in the situation where she has to be the parent that doles out the rules while Dusty’s the fun guy.

The war is on with Brad vs. Dusty in a battle to win over the family’s hearts.  Hijinx, pranks, and backstabbings ensue.

As a comedy, its more sweet than funny. The takeaway for me came from Brad/Ferrell’s advice on being a Dad to Wahlberg/Dusty – “Being a good dad is about getting shit on.”

In other words, you want the best for your kids.  So you put up with a lot of crap.  You take them to visit their friends even though you might think the friends’ parents are jerks. You get roped into volunteering to do a lot of extra activities and other adults complain about the help you are providing – you’d like to quit because you don’t want to do it at all but you keep going because you love the kids.

Even your kids will say and do shitty things to you.  You can’t let it get you down or give up on them.  They’re kids and they don’t know any better.

And especially, when you’re a stepdad, there are times when the kids hit you one too many times with the “you’re not my real dad” line when you’re trying to get them to do the right thing…and you might feel like, screw it, let the kid be a jerk then but you just have to get back in the trenches and be a good dad anyway.

So as I said at the start, being divorced must really suck.  Sucks for the kids because they miss whichever parent isn’t there.  Sucks for the parent that’s not around as much because he/she misses everyone. Sucks for the new step parent because he/she might want to be a positive part of the kids’ lives but the kids naturally see the new step parent as a replacement of the other parent.

So I guess try not to get divorced but if you have to, try to be as mature as possible about the situation.  The kids aren’t really little monsters.  They just don’t understand.  Be like Brad.  Take their shit and keep being a good stepdad anyway.

 

By the way, I remember Linda Carellini as the teenage girl from Freaks and Geeks.  Why am I so old that she’s able to play a divorced and remarried mom now? And where the hell did all that time go?

STATUS: Not shelfworthy.  You wouldn’t want to rush out to see it but worth a rental.

 

 

 

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